


Fade to Gray

by Schmidt1012



Series: Fade to Gray [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Agent Dean Winchester, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Canon-Typical Violence, Explicit Sexual Content, First Time, Gun Violence, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Inmate Benny Lafitte, M/M, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Non-Penetrative Sex, Past Castiel/Dean Winchester, Slow Build, attempt at fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-28
Updated: 2018-07-05
Packaged: 2019-01-06 13:10:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 90,912
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12211947
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Schmidt1012/pseuds/Schmidt1012
Summary: In a world of black and white. Criminals were known to be the bad guys, while the Police who enforce the law were the good ones. It's simple, really. But after some unfortunate events, the things Dean had known about justice slowly fades to gray.Three years ago, a drug case started and the only clue their department got was a little information about a trade being held inside a prison. Dean volunteered to work in the case as an undercover to escape his problems, and there he met Benny Lafitte, an innocent man locked in prison for a crime he didn't commit, who made him appreciate what was left of him.---Chapter 19: FanArt





	1. Jude

With his vision slowly adjusting to the dark room, Dean groaned as he pushed himself up from the cold hard floor after regaining consciousness. Holding his head in his hands, head still throbbing, he tried to remember why he was stuck there. Dean closed his eyes, breathed through his nose, and recalled the scene inside their office.

_…_

_Two weeks ago._

“Balls!” Dean lifted his head and looked at Bobby, the Chief of Operation in their investigating department, who was talking to Victor about the unsolvable drug case, “Another dead end huh?  The one behind this drug problem is one sneaky son of a bitch.” Dean heard Bobby say “And the only lead we got is someone inside a prison responsible for the deals.”

“Are you sure about that?” Victor challenged, “You know these people are loyal to the one supplying their goods, right?”

"Yes, and yes, everyone we've arrested in every drug bust operation was killed before we even start the interrogation. We were just lucky that this guy started spilling everything he knows in exchange for protection but killed hours later." Bobby said, "That's why this information looks legit to me."

"Hmm" Contemplating Bobby's reason, Victor nodded in agreement. "But the guy's in prison right? We can't just investigate there knowing they might have lookouts in there to warn the guy responsible in charge." Victor said while touching his goatee "Hell, the guards there might be also working with the guy!" He added.

"I know," Bobby answered with a depressed tone, "that is why we need to plan this carefully, or we'll lose the only shot we've got." Bobby adjusted his ever-present hat and fished his phone from his drawer "I need to call some people for this operation. Pull some strings, so our men can perform reconnaissance inside as an inmate, guard or -"

“Count me in, Bobby.” Dean interrupted, walking towards Bobby.

Both men whipped their head towards Dean, whose face stern and chest puffed out. "You idjit," Bobby said, almost instinctively shaking his head, “You think you’re ready for this, son? Not that I doubt your capabilities, but with the shit happening with you right now -”

"I can do it," Dean said louder than he intended to stop Bobby talking about his crap in front of Victor "You know that whatever is happening to me right now doesn't affect my performance. Work always comes first." Dean added trying to coax himself more than Bobby.

Leaning in his chair, Bobby sighed heavily. "I don't know, son. But I'll think about it and don't keep your hopes up." Without looking away from Dean’s eyes, Bobby opened his phone and started dialing. "And even IF… that's a big if, Dean… you got approved for this operation. I want you to be on the top of your game. Focus on your objectives" He said in all seriousness looking at his adoptive son while placing the phone in his ear, "you hear me?"

"Yes, sir!” Dean answered with burning determination in his eyes.

…

A southern drawl cut off Dean’s stupor. Raising his head between his knees, he tried to locate where the voice was coming from. “You okay there, chief?” The man asked.

"Peachy" Settling himself against the wall, Dean replied while trying to hide a groan but failing miserably. On the corner of his eyes, he caught sight of a vent inches above the floor. Slowly, he removed his hand from his head and hovered in front of it. The cold metal vibrated and a small breeze seemed to come out when the man started talking again.

“You did real good back there. Managing to fend off four guys is real somethin’.” With an obvious amusement in his tone, the man drawled, a muffled laugh vibrated through the vent. “Do you mind if I ask your name?” The man asked sounding hesitant.

Dean, curling his lips upward, remembered something about a bluefish communicating to a whale through the vents. _What is that movie?_  Dean asked himself. Lost with his thoughts, Dean forgot to answer the man and jerked slightly from where he was sitting when the man talked again.

“Oh sorry, how rude of me” The man genuinely sounded apologetic, “I wish we can do this in proper, my name is Benny… Benny Lafitte”

_Lafitte. Do I know that name?_

_“Jude Smith. That is your identity in this assignment" Bobby said to Dean while giving him a folder, "all you need to know about ‘yourself' is in there. The others' file that is a part of this operation is also in there." Bobby pointed out "And some of them are already there in prison, blending in." he added, "The meeting predicted that this might take time to pinpoint the man working inside the prison, so take your time and befriend other inmates to learn their tricks of the trade. You can do this, Dean." Bobby reached up giving Dean's shoulder a squeeze before pulling him into a big bear hug patting his back before breaking away. Dean appreciated the gesture coming from his foster father. Determined not to disappoint, Dean nodded and opened the folder to prepare for his assignment._

“Jude Smith” Dean answered like what he practiced.

"Huh" Benny almost sounded skeptic through the vents "Well, nice to meet you, Jude. Welcome to _Purgatory_ ”

 _Purgatory_. 

_…_

_One week ago._

"That place is called Purgatory, Dean," Charlie said to Dean, voice full of concern. "People serving their time there are not human. The crimes they did to be sent there are almost unimaginable. Monsters." With horror in her eyes, Charlie paused for a moment to lock eyes with Dean. "They are called monsters, Dean."

Long five seconds of silence between the two of them before Dean snorted. "I think you're overselling them, Charlie," Dean said chuckling while shaking his head slowly.

"It's never wrong to be cautious, Dean," Charlie said while patting her jacket pockets. Pulling out a flash drive and handling it Dean "I looked at their database and examined the inmates' files that are associated with drugs or somewhat connected to it that might help to speed the processes for your assignment."

"You break into their system?" Dean asked with wide eyes looking at Charlie.

“Of course not!” Charlie retorted punching Dean on the shoulder “I asked Ash for the files and I learned my lesson not to mess around with confidential files.” Charlie said lowering her voice while smiling at Dean.

Dean smiled back raising his hand to ruffle Charlie’s hair. “Of course. Thank you for this, Charlie, you’re awesome. Visit me there and bring comics ‘kay?”

"You think Bobby will approve that?” Charlie asked, raising her eyebrow and crossing her arms over her chest.

Copying her stance, Dean curled his lips into a smirk. "Can he stop you, though?”

Walking backward and moving away, one hand in her pocket, Charlie saluted. "We'll see," Charlie said grinning before turning away.

_…_

_The flash drive. I saw the name Lafitte there_. Dean remembered and felt lucky meeting one of the names that early. “You’re the one who backed me up, right. Why did you do it?” Placing both hands on either side of his body, with a choked groan, Dean stretched his legs before sliding closer to the vent. "Now you're stuck here with me,"

“That’s easy, brother. That fifth man sneakin’ behind your back and plannin’ on holdin’ you is real dirty, so I stepped in without really thinkin’ the consequences.” Benny paused hesitating to say more. “I know you can handle ‘em yourself, but its five against one, brother. It’s your first day here and there’s more of that comin’. They like beatin’ fresh meat, like yourself, to show who the bosses are, but you obviously showed ‘em who the boss is.” Benny said, chuckling deeply. “And I really don’t mind bein’ stuck here with you.”

“You’re not too shabby yourself.” Dean surprised himself with his enthusiasm “When you throw that guy across the room, that’s awesome.” Recalling the event earlier that day, Dean couldn’t help but smile on how he and Benny kicked ass at the cafeteria.

"What's awesome ‘bout that? You should've seen yourself! Your moves look exactly like the one in the movies." Benny countered. “You’re like James Bond or somethin’.”

Dean was lying if he said he didn't blush from those words coming from Benny. _Benny_. He _might_ be the one managing the drug deals here in prison. After all, he's included to the people that were sent here associated with drugs. Dean composed himself, tried to focus on his objective, and secretly wished that Benny was not the one behind the drugs. The southern man seemed genuinely nice towards him. _For a criminal_. Dean reminded himself.

Opening his mouth, ready to speak again, Dean flinched when the large steel door screeched open. He raised his hand, trying to block light outside the room. A scrawny figure formed in the doorway and started walking towards him.

The man knelt in front of him and whispered: "I'm sorry about this, Dean."

 _Garth?_ Confusion took over Dean and before he got the chance to talk Garth grabbed his wrists and put handcuffs on him. Garth put his finger near his mouth and made a hushing action. Dean understood and stood up with him. They both left the room and Garth closed the steel door before locking it. Walking in silence, Dean in front and Garth in his back, they trudged towards where the cell blocks were. When they reached the cell blocks, Garth instructed him towards a cell located to the farthest corner of the block.

Dean inspected the cells’ small windows at the block noticing people were observing him; the other inmates must have been sleeping or didn't care about his arrival. After reaching his cell, Garth opened it and patiently waited for him to enter before removing the cuffs and subtly whispered. "I'll talk to you in the morning, get some sleep,"

With a sharp long sigh, Dean rubbed his wrists and made a beeline towards the bed.  _Garth_? Dean asked himself again before plopping his sore body on the cold, dingy, hard bed.  _Garth was not on the list of undercover agents assigned in this case_. Rubbing the sleep off his face, Dean started enumerating the people working as undercover here in prison from the files.  _The maintenance… lunch lady… three guards… nurse… Ash and Jody…_ that’s nine including himself but no Garth _._

The clunking sound of his cell door being opened halted his thoughts, propping himself up using his elbows, he recognized Garth standing behind a burly man. That's when he realized that he'll have a cellmate. He looked around the room discovering few things like books on the shelf, postcards and photos of boats against the wall on the corner of the bed he currently occupying, and a guitar – _a freaking guitar -_ at the corner of the room. The man. Benny. The one who threw one of the inmates sneaking behind him like a ragdoll. Someone from the list Charlie gave him. His cellmate. _What a coincidence._ Dean thought.

After Garth removed his handcuffs and locking the cell door, slowly, Benny walked towards Dean, smiled, and greeted. "Hey, Jude," A small smile crept its way across Dean’s face due to the familiarity of those two words. "You're in my bed." Benny proclaimed while doing a shooing gesture with his hand.

While Dean was scrambling off the bed, Benny walked in the opposite side of the room and tinkered something at the wall. A fold-up bed came into view attached to the wall, and Benny slowly released it to the floor. “Where’s your stuff?” Benny asked, glancing around the room for a bag, and then looked at Dean with mild curiosity plastered on his face.

Dean's jaw dropped almost comically when he thought he lost his duffle bag. They gave him a locker earlier that day where he put his belongings before the incident at the cafeteria. He was instructed that everything he discovered, even the little things, about the inmates would be reported using notes that would be stored in the locker. Fellow agents would check it regularly to avoid suspicion of an inmate having a conversation with a guard. "It's in the locker," Dean answered.

Sitting in his bed, Benny looked up at Dean. “So, I’m guessin’ you don’t have any pillows yet because of the show in the cafeteria."

“Hey, they started -” Dean’s excuse was halted by a pillow, hitting his face, flung at him by Benny.

"Use that tonight, you can get your own tomorrow," Benny said while toeing his tennis shoes and stripping his pants, but stopped when it reached his knees only to pull it up again. "I'm sorry, is it okay if I stripped down to my boxers?"

"Yeah, it's fine," Dean answered, sitting at the edge of his bed while fluffing the pillow.

While removing his shoes, Dean noticed how Benny was watching him after crashing on his bed, face first on his pillow. Looking up, Benny quickly looked away from him, started tossing and turning, trying to get comfortable.

“So, what’s your name, chief?” After settling on his side, using his elbow to prop himself up, Benny asked while watching Dean fold his pants and placing it beside the pillow.

If Benny saw the way Dean tensed up a little at that and the way Dean coughed before moving again. He didn’t question it. Benny just watched in silence while Dean slowly stretched his body. The old mattress felt harder on his back. Not that he missed his bed but his bruised body wanted something more comfortable.

Turning his head to look at Benny, Dean observed Benny’s features. “You already forgot it?” Dean asked back, rolling his body to lie on his stomach. With sore muscle Dean slowly adjusted himself to find a position where it’ll hurt less. When finally settled, Dean turned his head to see Benny watching him intently, blue eyes almost shining in the dark.  _Those blue eyes_. He knew someone who also had blue eyes.  _Nope. We’re not going there._ Dean warned himself, realizing that the man still looking at him started talking.

“Nah, you just don’t look like a ‘Jude’ to me.”

“Really? What name suits me then?” 

“Huh” Benny looked at Dean’s sprawled body and scratched his bearded cheek using his other hand. “Jensen, I think you’re a Jensen.”

Dean snorted, trying to shake his head but failing. "Why?” Dean asked weakly, exhaustion from the earlier shenanigans was finally wearing him down.

Chuckling weakly, Benny diverted his eyes away from Dean and lay on his back. “To be honest? I really don’t know, but when I look at you, you don’t look like a ‘Jude’ to me, and Jensen is the first name I thought after lookin’ at you.” Closing his eyes, Benny asked again. “So, what’s your name, chief?”

“Name’s Jude. Jude Smith” Dean mumbled turning his head facing the wall and nuzzled the pillow. Before sleep took over him, he heard a low chuckling and  _‘whatever you say, chief’_. And the smell of cold morning breeze at the beach, spices, and mint were the last thing he remembered before surrendering himself to sleep.


	2. Memory Foam, Memory Lane

It had been a week since Dean was sent to investigate inside the prison. The other agents had been informed about the names Charlie gave, so they decided to split the names to hasten the operation. Dean's list consisted of Benjamin Lafitte, Gordon Walker, and Sorrento Diaz. He had been observing Benny closely; being his cellmate, and it seemed Benny followed him wherever he goes. This made it harder for Dean to figure out what was the man's routine before he came at the prison. Dean still couldn't cross Benny out from the list of the possible person behind the drug trade inside, even after what Garth had told him about the man the day after his arrival. Shaking his head, Dean couldn't believe how someone with that past look at the world – by world means inside the prison – with rose-colored glasses. If it was Dean who's wearing the man's shoes, he would be miserable.

_..._

_Three days ago._

"He's different, Dean," Garth said whilst examining his teeth. Garth, a licensed dentist – apparently, worked at the specific prison because of its history. Fitzgerald men became warden of this prison, and his grandfather – Fitzgerald Jr., the warden when Benny got imprisoned, knew what behind the imprisonment of Benny Lafitte. "He was accused of a murder he didn't commit. My grandfather led investigation himself, one-day people wanted to help Benny to be proven innocent then a few days later people changed their statements, saying Benny was never seen in that area, and others are reluctant to talk to the police about the crime." Garth paused to grab a cup and raised his eyebrows silently ordered Dean to use it to rinse his mouth, "My grandfather suspected that someone bought their silence."

After rinsing his mouth with the solution and spitting it at the small sink, Dean straightened in his seat and asked. “Then what happened?”

Sighing heavily, Garth continued. "Well, two days before his trial, he went missing only to be found three hours before his trial starts, rampaging inside a small department store under the influence of a drug," Garth said dryly. "Which is weird because Benny is clean; he never used drugs before, and he's broke, abusing his body working with three jobs. He obviously couldn't afford to buy that much drug either because the hospital stated that he's heavily drugged." Turning his head away to start sanitizing his tools, Garth continued. "That seems to be the final straw for the judge to throw him here. My grandfather said he ‘wakes up' – the drug wearing off – two days later after being imprisoned."

“And…” Dean assumed Garth’s continuation.

"And you're his first cellmate, Dean-o," Garth said plainly.

Puzzled by Garth statement, Dean asked scrunching his forehead. "What?

“Well…” Garth paused, scratching the back looking hesitant, “Imagine that you just turned eighteen, your girlfriend died, they blame it to you and you woke up in a prison without recollection of anything why you’re there. My grandfather established an unspoken rule here that Benny will not have a cellmate for his protection.”

“Protection from what?” Dean asked, confirming if his guess was right.

"Come on, Dean, you already know the answer for that," Garth answered gravely. "Back then, this prison was dominated by the worst kind of people, and Benny was young. Put the two and two together, Dean. Yesterday when the others ganged you up, what if Benny was not there, and what if after being beaten up to a pulp, you'll be sleeping with one of them in the same cell and…"

"I got it, thank you, Garth." Dean interrupted. "Then why stick us together if there's an ‘unspoken' rule for him to never have a cellmate," Dean questioned.

Sitting on a stool beside Dean, Garth answered plainly. “It’s my father’s idea, Dean, he said ‘better be stuck with him than the others’” Garth quoted. “And I think everyone knows that he can now handle himself very well, and you are no threat to him.”

...

Dean's thoughts were interrupted by snapping of fingers in front of him. "Hey, you okay?" Benny asked with confusion in his eyes, "What are you thinkin’, chief?”

After recomposing himself and recalling that he’s in the cafeteria with Benny, Dean coughed and shifted in his seat. “What?” He asked, blinking several times to remember Benny’s first question. “Yeah, I’m fine.” Dean nodded to assure Benny.

There’s a quiet hum before Benny tipped his glass of water in his mouth. “What are you thinkin’ chief?” Benny tried to ask the same question before placing the glass on the table beside his tray.

"Nothing," Dean said, looking down at his cold lunch.

“Really,” Benny paused to finish his water, “‘Cause you looked lost with your thoughts there.”

“Well, I was actually curious why people call this place  _Purgatory_ ” Dean punctuated. “Do you know the story behind it?”

Benny sat back, looking hesitant about the question before leaning forward resting his elbows on the table. “Why?” He asked instead while smiling slightly.

“I’m just curious.”

Scratching his beard, Benny pouted his lips trying to consider Dean’s answer. “Okay,” Benny started, “Back then this place was inhabited mostly by notorious criminals, through the years, most of them are transferred to more secured prison and the police stopped imprisonin' dangerous – lunatics actually, in this prison for the safety of other inmates. The reason behind the name is long gone, but the name stayed.”

Taking advantage at the conversation, Dean asked what might help him in his assignment. “Hmm, so do you think that there are still crazy people here? Anyone I should be worried about?”

“This place is filled with crazy if you ask me, and I reckon you don’t need to worry about someone though. “ Grinning widely, Benny playfully nudged Dean’s shoulder, “You already made that clear when you arrived beatin' those men.”

Dean wanted a forced smile but ended making it genuine. The man's smile in front of him was contagious. Coughing a little, Dean tried again. "How ‘bout any shady activities I should not stick my nose into."

“Well, I’m not saying they’re  _shady_ , but there are groups here that will persuade you to join ‘em. Those men who sneaked on you were all members of the group  _Wolves,_  they’re one of the three major gangs here, the other two are  _Bloodz_  and  _Jaws –_ I don’t know their name but they have a shark tattoos.”

“You know the name of the leaders?” Dean asked nonchalantly.

Leaning back, Benny crossed his arms over his chest, creasing his forehead as though thinking hard. "There are Corbin Tilghman the leader Wolves” Benny pointed at the corner of the cafeteria, where the men who ganked Dean are seated with others, "the one with the scruffy beard." Benny paused, turning around tipping his head at the other group close to the kitchen door. "The man with tanned skin, Gordon Walker, is the leader of Bloodz. Don’t talk to him; he’s one of the crazy folks here.” Benny warned before sitting straight facing Dean.

 _Gordon Walker… he's on my list… lucky me._  Dean thought, ignoring the first man Benny pointed out. “How ’bout the other group, Jaws, was it?” Dean asked.

A raspy voice asked back behind Dean. “What about the  _Jaws_?”

Turning slowly, Dean saw a dark-haired man placing his food tray one seat away from him. The man sat and looked at his food as if it physically offends him. Trying to be cautious, Dean looked at Benny raising an eyebrow silently asking – _who the fuck is this_.

Benny took the hint and straightened from his seat. "Fergus," Benny started, "I think you know the new guy with his flashy introduction last week," Benny said pointing his thumb towards Dean.

 _New guy_ … Dean realized that Benny only called him  _Jude_  once, and that was when he first saw him in their cell. Looking back, Dean tried to remember how Benny communicated him without using his name as though he knew that it’s just a fake identity.  _Brother_  and  _Chief_ … that what Benny calls him. Huh. Weird. 

"He’s just asking which people not to mess with.” Benny continued.

After grimacing at the food, Fergus directed his attention to Dean. "What's your name? Wait don't answer that, I'll call you Squirrel." Fergus said as if he didn't hear Benny, "You're Grizzly's first friend if I'm not mistaken," He pointed at Benny, who's about to open his mouth to say something, "And shut your trap, we're not friends." Benny, holding his hands up mocking surrender, said nothing wanting Fergus to continue. "You," Fergus said to Dean, "don't mess with those sharks. A little squirrel like you will be their snack. They are not like the other freak show there having lunch meetings to discuss stuff."

“And why is that?” Dean asked boldly.

“I don’t know why I’m telling you this, but those bastards are smart, and rumors said they supply shivs here.” Looking at Benny for the first time, Fergus asked. “Remember the stabbing incident last year; I think they’re the ones behind it.”

Intrigued, Dean looked at Benny to question the incident. “What incident?”

“The stabbing incident,” Fergus supplied, “It started with a normal cafeteria fight, like the day you arrived, then it became worse, and minutes later everything went apeshit," Fergus said plainly as though stabbing inside this prison was normal. "When guards arrived, that's when someone noticed that one of the men who got knocked down was bleeding." Stabbing his food using his fork with too much force, Fergus added. "That's why don't meddle with their business if you don't want to get stabbed." Fergus punctuated the last word by stabbing his food again before eating it.

Thinking hard, Dean thought that if those men could plot things without being noticed by the guards, there was a possibility that the one he’s looking for is the one managing the group. Trying to act nonchalant, Dean grabbed his water and sipped before asking about his suspicion. “So, who’s leading them?”

Without looking up at his food, Fergus answered. “There’s no  _leader_ … I told you that they’re smart, so they don’t need one.”

 _No leader_ …  _That’s fine_ … Dean said to himself.  _We got names_ …  _We’re fine_ …

Noticing that Gordon’s group was heading out, Dean started to push away from the table getting ready to stand. Benny mimicked the motion before asking. “Where are you goin’, chief?”

Taking away his attention from Gordon, Dean looked at Benny. "Just wanted to walk around to burn some calories," Dean saw Benny glanced down at his untouched food, and thought that Benny might not buy his reason. Benny though didn't comment about it. “Want to come? ‘cause I need a tour guide," Dean said. Smiling and keeping his eyes on Benny, while tracking Gordon in his peripheral vision, Dean stood up. Benny said nothing before shrugging and followed Dean.

*******

Benny had been studying “Jude” –  _if that was his real name_ … Benny said to himself, ever since the man arrived; Benny saw Jude looked at him whenever he thought Benny was not looking. He observed that Jude never once mention something about his family, the things Jude described himself felt rehearsed except about his job as a mechanic. The man talked about his car like a long lost lover – Jude even called his car _baby_. If Benny was not perceptive, he would believe everything Jude threw to him, Jude’s a good liar, but Benny’s a better observant. Speaking of lies, Jude told Benny he wanted to walk around, but ended up following Gordon.

Jude halfheartedly responded to Benny; too busy not looking at Gordon, but Benny seemed to get the guy’s full attention when the conversation went to Benny’s job at a diner. Jude’s eyes twinkled when Benny mentioned pie, so Benny told Jude about his momma’s special pecan pie with mint chocolate chips. He heard Jude’s stomach grumble and remembered he didn’t touch his food earlier, but he didn’t comment on that. He mentally kicked himself when his tongue slipped; promising Jude to make him pie when they got out of prison. Jude saw Benny’s discomfort and changed the subject. They talked in comfort that felt like hours, making Benny realize something. He missed this… having a conversation with a friend… But it felt wrong missing something you never had… a friend… Fergus clarified earlier that he was never been a friend to him, that made Benny wondered if Jude sees him as a friend, but he’ll take whatever he could get. Friend or not, as long as Jude talks to him, Benny would treasure it.

Their conversation ended when one of the prison guards called Jude. Jude turned to him saying ‘ _see you later_ ’ and patted his shoulder before jogging toward the prison guard.

Benny headed to their cell only to find a big package on top of Jude’s bed.

*******

After the update about the case and informing his colleagues about what he learned from the groups inside the prison, Dean made a beeline towards the cafeteria for dinner. Dean saw Benny waiting in front of two-way swing door grinning at him. "What?" Dean asked, lips curving a little upwards.

“Nothin'.” Benny drawled, still grinning, before entering the cafeteria.

Dean noticed Benny glancing every now and then while they are eating, obviously wanting to ask Dean about something. Cutting him some slacks, Dean asked. “Okay, spill, what is it?”

“You expect somethin' today, brother?”

Ignoring the excitement in Benny’s tone, Dean thought about something to be expected but he recalled nothing “No,” Dean answered cautiously, “something happened when I’m out?”

"Nothin' happened, but there's a big package in your bed," Benny informed Dean whilst bouncing on his seat, obviously curious and excited about it.

Watching Benny's enthusiasm, Dean questioned himself about the package. If it's something related to the case, they wouldn't just put it in his bed, and it's a _big package._ Then Dean remembered. My package... The package... Standing abruptly, catching other inmates’ attention, Dean leaned forward both hands at the edge of the table he asked Benny with low whispered voice. “You want to see what’s inside?”

Still smiling, Benny nodded. They finished they dinner in comfortable silence before walking back to their cell. Dean saw the big box in his bed and started opening it.

After opening the package, the smile on Benny's face fell because of the contents of the big box. Looking at Dean with confusion in his eyes Benny asked. “Mattresses?”

“It’s not just a mattress,” Smiling widely, Dean sat on his bed after placing the new mattress, “its memory foam. It will remember me.” Dean said while fondly grazing his hand on the surface. “Take the other one, and set it up the way I did mine.”

“Uhhm” Benny muttered unintelligibly.

Dean saw Benny’s shocked and confused state. Still smiling, he looked up at Benny and said. “Cat got your tongue?”

*******

Swallowing the lump in his throat, Benny stammered. “W-wha-why?” Because seriously,  _why?_  Benny asked himself.

"Because I thought it's selfish that I'll be sleeping comfortably and you're not," Dean answered simply.

That confused Benny even more. Finding his voice, Benny tried asking again. “’And why are you givin' this to me again?”

Still smiling, Dean shrugged and answered plainly. “We’re friends.”

 _We’re Friends_ … Benny heard it echoes in his head.  _That felt nice_ … Benny said to himself. Walking towards Dean, Benny hugged him with bone-crushing force. "Thank you. Thank you." Benny whispered, hoping that Dean would think that the gesture was about the mattress.

*******

Dean hugged back, thinking it’s all about the mattress but Dean couldn’t deny he felt something more. He didn’t know what it is, but that it made Benny happy. Benny always looked happy, but this was different. Patting Benny’s back, Benny loosed the death hug and stepped away from Dean.

For the first time, Dean looked, really looked at Benny's eyes. It's bluer than what he remembered, and that made Dean realized something. After seeing those blue eyes on his first night here, Dean stopped looking directly at them. He was afraid of them, and he regretted not looking at them because this was different than what he remembered from the past. The past, where blue meant sadness, pain, and lies. Now, Benny's blue eyes screamed happiness and hope to Dean. _Hope from what_ … Dean asked himself.

Dean averted his attention from Benny's eyes, thinking he might drown looking at them for too long, he gestured at the mattress and cleared his throat. "Want me to help you with this?" Dean asked.

"Sure, why not," Benny answered, turning away to tugged the bed sheet.

The two of them worked in silence, giving each other subtle glances. Once they are finished, they stood up and marveled at their work.

“Want to try it?” Dean suggested.

Benny nodded, and the two of them positioned themselves in their own bed to lay their bodies down. A sinful moan came out from Benny's mouth. “Sweet Lord! Oh, this is what heaven must feel like!”

Dean chuckled deeply at Benny's honest reaction. Turning on his side, Dean looked at Benny who's trying to sit on the bed. Dean arched an eyebrow, silently asking: _'is something wrong_?'.

Benny shook his and started stripping his clothes. "I'm sorry, chief; I'll be sleepin' early tonight to test the magic of this new mattress," Benny said, kicking off his shoes.

Not caring if he's still fully clothed, Dean turned to lie down on his stomach and turned his head to watch Benny get settled in his bed. Benny lay on his side propping his head using his elbow. "How was it?" Dean asked the obvious. Sleep was invading his body faster than he expected after a week of hard mattress.

"Awesome," Benny answered.

“Awesome.” Dean agreed, fluttering his eyelashes to fight sleep.

Falling on his back, Benny looked at Dean with eyes full of adoration. “Thank you for this, chief. I wish I could pay you back someday.”

You’re welcome, Benny.” Dean mumbled; sleep finally taking over his body. Benny - palming his eyes - was the last image Dean saw before darkness swallowed him whole.


	3. Flushed

In the past two months, Dean had been observing Gordon and his gang. He had been taking notes of Gordon and his men’s name and daily routine. Dean also met Sorrento who apparently talks to Fergus every now and then. What Dean learned about the man’s routine was he writes two to three times a week to his sister – Fergus supplied. The guards were also instructed to check Sorrento’s letter thoroughly, but there’s nothing about suspicious about it.

Currently waiting for his turn to get his breakfast, Dean remembered one of his evening talks with Benny and how the older man confessed how he loved the vile liquid the cafeteria offered called  _coffee_. Dean looked back at him to tell Benny that there's no coffee, He smiled a little when Benny made a mocking hurt face.

After getting their breakfast, they got settled at  _their_ table – the one that had the perfect view of Gordon's group. Eating in a comfortable silence beside each other, they were interrupted by a tray dropped carelessly in front of them that belong to Fergus. Scoffing silently, Dean continued eating his breakfast. Benny, on the other hand, humored Fergus' morning tantrum and asked about his mother's letters, which reminded Dean about Charlie's scheduled visit later that day. Looking down on his food, Dean listened attentively to their conversation.

After swallowing his eggs, he raised his eyebrow and asked. “You got another letter? Your mother must have really missed you, that’ll be your fourth letter this month.”

"No, and it's none of your business," Fergus answered, not looking at Benny.

The slight edge of Fergus’ tone should have hinted anyone to stop, but Benny knowing about Fergus’ behavior, he continued.

“Fine, it’s just weird. I remember you only got at least one or two letters per month, and now you got three?”

With that, Fergus looked at Benny with shock in his eyes. “How did you know about that?” He asked, pointing his fork to Benny.

“Well, every time you got a letter, you subconsciously sit with me to read 'em.” Benny paused to look down and avoid Fergus’ eyes full of judgment, “It’s like you’re makin' fun of me, that you got a letter and I don’t, so I kept countin'.”

Benny admitting that Dean remembered Benny's postcards attached to his side of the wall. _Elizabeth_. The postcards were all sent by Elizabeth, Benny’s cousin who believed in his innocence.  _His only family_. Dean said to himself. Those postcards were one of Benny's prized possessions here in the prison. Dean tried to enumerate Benny's stuff. Postcards… Books… Guitar… Peacoat… and – _fuck,_   _his notebook_.

…

_Two days ago._

It was Dean's fourth week when he first saw that notebook. Both men were preparing to sleep when Benny decided to fluff his pillow. A tattered notebook slipped out of Benny's pillow and fell on the floor. Dean tried to pick it up for Benny, but the older man was alarmed and picked it up himself with great speed, and raised a suspicion on Dean's part. _He’s different, Dean_ … Dean heard Garth in his head.  _Innocent my ass, that notebook might be information about the drugs_. Dean said to himself and started plotting to get his hands on that notebook. After talking discretely to Garth about his plan – for him to distract Benny for at least ten minutes, Dean waited for lunchtime before initiating it. While Benny's occupied with Garth, Dean rushed to their cell and started searching the notebook in Benny's pillowcases, only to find it under the mattress – _sneaky bastard_. Dean flipped its pages to examine its contents.

                 _1 pound boneless skinless chicken breast, cut into cubes_

_½ pound sausage, diced_

_1 can diced tomatoes_

_1 onion, chopped_

_1 cup chicken broth_

_2 teaspoons dried oregano_

_2 teaspoons Cajun or Creole seasoning_

_1 teaspoon hot sauce_

_2 bay leaves_

_½ teaspoon dried thyme_

_1 pound frozen and cooked shrimp, thawed_

_2 cups cooked rice_

"What the fuck?" Dean cursed silently. Confused at what he's seeing, Dean continued to flip the pages full of recipes to find something connected about the drugs, only to stop when he saw _Momma’s Pecan Pie with Mint Chocolate Chips._ Too puzzled about the writings, Dean lost track of time and didn't hear it when Benny entered the cell. A hot puff of air at the back of his ear surprised him. “Sonofabitch!” He turned around; face’s slowly turning red because of embarrassment.

Chuckling a little, Benny took his notebook from Dean's hand, which was clutched above his chest, rising and falling fast. "If you really wanted to know the secret of my momma's pecan pie, you should've asked, brother." Benny drawled calmly.

Laughing nervously, Dean replied. “Yeah, I’m sorry about that.”

Benny stepped closer to Dean, raising his other hand not holding his notebook; he touched Dean's shoulder and squeezed it before leaning forward inches away from Dean's face to whisper. "The secret to makin' it taste better is: mindin' that you're makin' it to the ones you loved. So, technically there's no secret. It's just a regular pecan pie recipe, chief." Leaning back to show Dean his perfect white teeth, Benny patted Dean's shoulder before walking away to put the notebook back under the mattress.

Still nervous as hell, Dean tried to sound casual. “No secret recipe? That’s so cliché.” And he beamed Benny his winning Winchester smile.

After reporting back to Garth about what he discovered in Benny’s notebook, that night. Garth just laughed at him and his suspicion about Benny with his poor imitation of Bobby’s catchphrase. “You idjit.” Hands still on his stomach, Garth calmed down and quoted. "So, it's just like in Kung Fu Panda? ‘There is no secret recipe'."

Dean doesn't have any comment on that, still embarrassed about what happened, and a little relieved that it was Benny. The older man didn't get angry after Dean pried with his private stuff. Benny just did what he always did, to be ‘Benny'. Benny never questioned Dean's action. Benny understood in his own way about Dean's behavior. Benny never wanted to disappoint and followed Dean's lead.

Dean thought that the reason Benny was not afraid to perform his plans was that he's more concerned about disappointing him or he's scared of losing Dean's trust. Dean considered that it might be both. _Maybe he’s afraid losing his only friend_ … Dean heard a small voice inside his head. _Fergus is his friend_ … Dean mentally answered back.  _Their one-sided conversations and Fergus ignoring him most of the time, yep they are friends_ … The voice said sarcastically. Dean shook his head to stop thinking, only to be aware that no one actually spoke to Benny, never considering the mocking and insults towards the man, since he arrived.

…

Waking up in present time, Dean heard Benny questioned something he didn’t hear. “Uh, what?” Dean asked, blinking fast directing his attention to Benny.

"You do that a lot, brother," Benny said, smiling at him.

“Do  _what_ a lot?" Dean asked, totally confused about what's happening.

“Spacin' out,” Benny stated. “You space out a lot, thinkin’ hard about something, and my question earlier was who’ll visit you later?”

Quite shocked about Benny’s observation, he started contemplating if he’s going to tell him Charlie’s real name. Dean decided to tell him the truth because Benny deserved it. “Oh, it’s Charlie.”

“Is she your girlfriend?” Benny asked before popping a piece of bread in his mouth.

“What? No.” Dean answered, grabbing his water from the table.

“Oh, I’m sorry, your boyfriend?”

Benny’s question with his serious tone caught Dean off guard, and jets of water came out of Dean’s nose, painfully burning his nostrils. Setting his glass down, Dean grabbed some table napkins to wipe his face. “Bloody hell!” Fergus yelled across the table.

Coughing and trying to compose himself, Dean saw a small smile threatening to slip from Benny’s concerned face. “Charlie’s a  _girl_ ,” Dean emphasized, “ _she’s_  my best friend and  _she’s_  like a little sister to me. Goddamnit Benny where did that come from?" Dean asked, shaking his head and chuckling a little.

Instead of replying, Benny smiled, raised his hand to pat Dean’s upper back, and continued eating his breakfast.

 

* * *

 

That noon, Dean was being escorted to the visitation room by Garth behind him. Dean was excited to see Charlie and he almost forgot what Charlie’s motive was. While he’s humming to himself, Dean jerked when Garth nudged his side to ask him a question.

“So, Dean, how are you and Benny, you guys doing good?”

Searching for a hint of teasing, Dean found nothing but authentic curiosity in Garth’s tone.

“We’re good, Garth.” –  _Actually, we’re more than good_ … Dean thought to himself, he added a little nod to convince Garth that he really meant it.

Garth hummed his approval. “You know you can still be friends after this, right?” Garth asked.

“What do you mean, Garth?” Dean didn't understand what Garth meant by that.

“After  _this,_  Dean. After finding out who’s behind this drug thing. I know you know that he’ll be out any day now.”

That stopped Dean from his tracks making Garth bumped into his back.  _Four months ago, was his twentieth anniversary here_ … Dean heard Garth’s voice in his head. Back then, leaving Benny behind had never once crossed Dean’s mind. But now, for a short time of working undercover here, he found himself quite attached to the man, and sometimes wondered what Benny would do after being released. ‘ _Where will he go?’_  was Dean’s first thought when that happened.

Dean heard Garth voice, so he continued walking down the hall. "…does it bothered you that you befriended an inmate? Because that's bullshit, Dean, you already know who is he, and let's say _if_  he really is guilty of what  _he_  did. He already paid it with his time here.” Garth said, maneuvering himself, so he was now in front of Dean.

Dean stopped to look at Garth, who was currently crossing his arms in front of Dean. “No, that doesn’t bother me, Garth. It’s just…” Dean paused, trying to find the words about something he wished he knew.

Garth, perceptive as he was, filled Dean’s silence “Then to hell with them, them who will judge you befriending an inmate. What Benny needs the most when the time comes is a friend, Dean. He’ll start from zero, maybe lower than that, but having a friend is a start.”

After performing his short speech, Garth pushed Dean inside the visitation room.

Dean turned around to look at Garth, who had a small smile on his lips, pointing at someone across the room.  _Charlie_ … Dean remembered. Nodding his goodbye, Dean made a beeline towards Charlie who’s smiling at him wearing a blue jacket. While shortening their distance, Dean noticed a paper bag what he assumed was food. Charlie stood up and greeted Dean with a hug.

Charlie must’ve noticed Dean’s still eyeing the paper bag, so she patted Dean at the back, moved away from the hug and pointed at the seat. “Work now food later, ‘kay ”

Still focusing on the bag, Dean tried to guess what's inside by whiffing the air subtly. When Dean was seated across from Charlie, he tried to grab the bag, only to get his hand smacked away. "Hey!" he protested.

“I said work now food later.” Charlie scolded with a serious look but her voice was disagreeing with her act.

Charlie started the conversation about the department’s suspicion of which place where the drugs were coming from. The department presumed the place was Maine, where the vehicles carrying the drugs all made a trip there. The possibility of drugs being transported by water was also mentioned because a cargo truck carrying the drugs hid it under the crates full of lobsters and some diving equipment inside of one of the vans.

"So, there's no point of staying here then," Dean said, slowly crossing his arms. The men assigned for him to observe inside the prison haven't done anything – which he knew of – concerning about the drugs.

“Didn’t you hear what I just said? Vehicles. We only got vehicles. No drivers. It's like ghosts are the driving them." Charlie raising her voice and flailing her hands in excitement, "Well, either ghosts or they knew we were coming and they just bailed their goods." Charlie said, slumping on her seat.

Hearing the defeated tone in Charlie’s voice at the last part, Dean tried to voice out what he thought. “How about motels, gas stops, or diners. There were cameras there right; maybe one of those captured anything?”

"That's also the weird part, Dean. The vehicles only passed those but never stopped. All vehicles we get our hands on were all parked on the highway."

 Creasing his eyebrows, Dean leaned forward resting on his elbows. “Maybe someone picked them up.”

“And leaving their goods? I don’t think so, Dean” Charlie snorted.

“Our guys found any clues?”

"Well, three vehicles and only this." Charlie fished out a picture from her jacket and handed it to Dean.

“Three vehicles?” Dean questioned and took the picture from Charlie.

Charlie nodded. “Yup, three vehicles, two vans and a cargo truck this month. We found that inside the compartment of the truck we just found two days ago,” Charlie pointed at the picture, “I still don’t know what that means though.”

Looking at the picture, what Dean saw was a crumpled piece of paper with combinations of numbers and letters. Trying to figure out what those meant, Dean gave up after five seconds of staring. “Do you think you can decipher this?” Dean challenged.

Grabbing the picture from Dean’s hand, Charlie pointed something on it. “Look here,”  _09222017_ , "I think that's a date. September, twenty-two, twenty seventeen, that's four days ago, which possibly means that the truck got the drugs on that day."

“What about the others?” Dean pointed at the other combinations.

Tossing the picture at the table, Charlie leaned back. “To be honest, Dean, I still don’t have any idea. It’s only been two days, and I spend my time driving here, so cut me some slacks. Anyway, that’s all I know.”

Picking the picture from the table, Dean tucked it in the waistband of his prison pants. “They got a copy of this right. I’ll look at it more tonight, okay.” Dean said, smiling and nodding at the bag of food.

Rolling her eyes fondly, Charlie groaned. “Fine. We can eat now. I’m famished anyway.” Grabbing the bag from the table, Charlie stopped and looked at Dean. “The thing you requested will be delivered later.” Charlie winked and continued rummaging the bag, producing five bacon cheeseburgers, four milkshakes, and two big servings of fries. “I hope you’re hungry.”

Snatching one cheeseburger, Dean moaned and his eyes rolled backward after inhaling deep. The smell of the juicy beef compliments the smoky bacon making Dean's mouth water. Holding it firmly, Dean marveled the greasy food before muttering to himself. _Benny will love this._  And just like that, Dean’s appetite was gone.  _When was the last time he ate a burger? He said he worked at a diner, do they serve burgers there?_

Seeing Charlie creasing her face, Dean knew that Charlie sensed his sudden mood swing.

“What are you thinking, Dean?” Stopping to set her burger down, Charlie asked.

"Nothing, I just thought that maybe Benny will like this," Dean answered truthfully that he almost regretted saying it and wanted to take it back.

“Benny?”

They were eye to eye and Dean couldn’t seem to look away. Dean coughed and shifted in his seat keeping his stare at Charlie.

“Benny,” Dean repeated, “He’s my cellmate.”

"Oh, then save him one," Charlie suggested.

Dropping his voice down to almost a whisper, Dean confessed. “We know I can’t, Charlie.” Avoiding Charlie’s eyes, He looked down at the table and scratched the back of his head.

Without replying to Dean, Charlie looked around the room and stood up. Confused with Charlie’s action, Dean also looked around the room and noticed something. They’re the only person inside the visitation room and the two guards were both his co-agents. Dean thought that the guards would help smuggle the burger inside, just like the stuff he requested, but knowing Charlie, she might do something different.

Dean watched Charlie talked to Ash at the desk before walking back to their table. Looking at Charlie, who just grinned at him before taking her seat, Dean asked. “What did you do?”

She reached for Dean’s hand to give it a little squeeze. “Well, I told Ash to invite Benny here.” Withdrawing her hand, she leaned back smiling very proud of herself.

Still unsure of Charlie's decision Dean tried to push. "What about the cameras?" Dean motioned his head at the camera attached to the ceiling.

Charlie just shrugged and answered plainly as if everything's under her control – She never mentioned it to Dean, but she's actually his superior. "It will be deleted, as usual, Dean, like I was never here, so Benny will also be _not_  here.”

Five minutes later, the door opened and Benny came out looking confused. Benny was instructed to go to their table. Walking slowly towards their table, Charlie noticed how Dean beamed at Benny. Reaching their table, Benny stopped to look at Dean raising an eyebrow.

Dean tapped the seat beside him, instructing Benny to sit before looking at Charlie. “Charlie, this is Benny. Benny, Charlie.”

Before taking the seat, Benny reached a hand towards Charlie for a handshake. Charlie stood up to shake the hand. “It’s my pleasure to meet you, ma’am.” Benny greeted with his southern drawl.

Surprised with the man’s accent, Charlie slapped Benny’s arm fondly. “Don’t  _ma’am_  me, Charlie’s just fine.” She gestured towards the seat and Benny took with uncertainty on his face.

Dean pushed a burger in front of Benny. "Come eat us, Ben. I know you're waiting for me outside the cafeteria." Watching Benny's eye widen, Dean knew he was right.

Benny looked at Charlie, who smiled and nodded in confirmation, before taking the burger.

By the time Benny bit the burger, Dean heard a moan, he described as porn material, escaped in Benny’s mouth. “Jesusmarychristmas.” He just smiled widely at the man who currently savoring the food – eyes closed to maximize the experience.

*******

Charlie watched the interaction of both men to each other. She tried to remember, when was the last time Dean looked at someone like that, and the way her best friend looked at the other man, who looked back with the same level of  _contentment – or is that intimacy_. If she didn't know anything, she might have thought that they were dating.

 _Wait_. Charlie observed harder and tried to be subtle about it.  _Small talks, nudging, and some bickering_. Charlie enumerated.  _Maybe they’re just close_. Charlie said to herself until both men did something she didn't expect. With dilated eyes, Charlie watched Dean picked out the tomatoes in his burger and offered it to Benny. Benny opened his burger, hinting Dean to put it there, and picking out some bacon from his burger and putting it into Dean’s burger.

Charlie couldn't help herself and ask. "You always do that?" She gestured at the burgers.

*******

Dean flicked his eyes at the burgers, Charlie, and Benny.  _Eat your vegetables_ … Dean heard Benny’s voice in his head and remembered a certain lunch with the man.

_"You eat it," Dean grumbled, making a disgusted face._

_“I can’t, you need the food to last the day.”_

_“I don’t care, here.” Dean lifted his tray and shoved the vegetables in Benny’s tray._

_Sighing heavily, Benny took his chicken and placed it on Dean's tray. "Then, eat that."_

After that event, Dean always gave his veggies to Benny and Benny traded it with something, but mostly the protein stuff.

"Not really, Benny just loves his vegetables," Dean answered, squeezing his _upgraded_  cheeseburger and taking a bite.

Benny scoffed at that and countered. “Nah, he just doesn’t want to eat his  _rabbit food_.” He air quoted.

Charlie nodded and didn’t say anything, but her eyes twinkled as if she discovered something worth gossiping. After finishing their meal, the three talked a little before saying  _thank you_ ,  _nice meeting you_ , and  _goodbyes._  Charlie hugged Dean and gave him a knowing smile wriggling her eyebrows – that confused the hell out of him – before leaving.

Both men were escorted back and made a beeline for their cell.

 

* * *

 

Later that afternoon, Dean suggested walking at the yard and watch other inmates play basketball, though Dean was actually planning on spying Gordon and his group. Benny agreed but requested a detour at the library first to return the book he borrowed.

As they walked the halls of the prison, both men saw Fergus entering the library. When they entered the library, Dean strolled at the shelves full of books about machines while Benny walked straight at the desk. Dean heard the door open and saw Sorrento entered the room. Trying to conceal himself from Sorrento, Dean grabbed a book and peered into it. He'd never expected that Sorrento was a library kind of guy, so Dean followed Sorrento until the man stopped beside a table where Fergus was sitting. Sorrento leaned on the table, both hands resting on the edge, and initiated a silent conversation with Fergus. Intrigued by their hushed argument, Dean hid behind a shelf to eavesdrop at the conversation.

“…give it to me, I know you received another.” Dean heard Sorrento ordered Fergus with a threatening manner.

“That’s the fourth time this month, people might…” Fergus trailed off and started to fish out a neatly folded paper from his pocket. “You know what, I don’t care anymore. Take that and whatever shit that will happen is none of my business.” Fergus angrily shoved the paper to Sorrento’s hand.

“Thanks,  _Crowley_.” Sorrento tapped the table before backing away only to collide with someone behind him.

“Give it back to him, Sorrento.” Dean heard Benny’s voice, which apparently noticed the commotion at the table and confronted it.

“It’s none of you fucking business  _Benjamin_.” Sorrento hissed at Benny, voice rising in annoyance, and walked passed him.

Trying to look oblivious at what just happened, Dean walked at the table beside Benny. “You ready to go, man?”

Benny looked at Dean then at Fergus, who tried to avoid his gaze by pretending to read, before looking at Dean again. He nodded and they both walked outside of the hall. While they were walking side by side towards the yard, Benny nudged Dean’s shoulder with his. “I saw you watching them, brother. Do I dare ask, why?”

Quite shocked that Benny saw him, as though Benny always saw him stalk Gordon, this was the first time the man asked him about the spying he did for the past months. Cautiously thinking of a safe answer, Dean thought of nothing and just answered a plain “I’m just curious.” And shrugged, shoving his hands in his pockets.

“You want to see it?” Benny stopped and looked at Dean with challenging eyes. Without waiting for Dean’s answer, Benny changed direction and looked at Dean in his shoulders gesturing him to follow. “I got a feelin' your plannin' somethin', chief, and a want a little payback from that bastard.” Benny bitterly spat out.

“How’d you know him?” Benny talked a lot every night, but he never mentioned Sorrento.

“We used to work together at the docks; I was informed that he made a statement that  _he_  saw  _me_ with Andrea before she got murdered." For the first time, Benny talked to Dean the something about his imprisonment, though Dean already knew how hearing it from Benny might give him a different perspective. "He hated my guts back then, maybe he still does after all these years."

_Docks? Hmm._

“So, what’s your plan?” Dean walked faster, so they are now again walking side by side.

“Well, before you came, I’ve been observin' him when he got locked up here, and every time he took Fergus’ letters he throws it in the garbage at the restroom. Maybe that letter can help you.”

_Letters?_

“When did he start taking Fergus’ letters?”

“Ever since he arrived, as though he already knew who Fergus is. Hell, he calls him Crowley.”

“And when is that?”

“Maybe about three or four years ago.”

_The drug case started three years ago. Jackpot._

Smiling to himself, Dean pushed more for a little assurance. “How did you know that he’s throwing it in the restroom?”

“At first, I just accidentally walked on him while he’s throwing something in the trash, and the way he reacted made me curious, so I rummaged in the trash to see a familiar letter. It looked exactly like the ones Fergus receives from the  _nursing home_. So, every time he received a letter, I always kept an eye on him, and I was right. Sorrento takes Fergus’ letters and dumps it in the restroom.”

_Nursing home?_

After reaching the restroom, both men started rummaging the trash cans. Finding something resembling a once neatly folded paper, Dean held it up and watch Benny nod for confirmation. He unfolded it and saw a letter from a nursing home. Dean looked at the date,  _09/27/17. It’s today, how far is that nursing home._ Dean wondered. Opening his mouth to ask Benny when Fergus received the letter before this when the door to the restroom opened and Sorrento's booming voice filled the silence.

Benny grabbed Dean by the arm and pulled him inside of a stall. Too tall to be seen when standing, Benny sat on the stainless urinal and pulled him down to sit on his lap.

Heart beating fast, Dean tried to even his breathing. They heard Sorrento rambling about himself being an idiot, and the man started rummaging the trash can where Dean found the letter. Sorrento cursed when he couldn't find the piece of paper, then there was silence.  _He might be thinking_. Dean thought. The sudden silence made Benny’s breathing sound louder in his ear. He turned to realized that their faces were inches apart. Their eyes locked, shining with excitement about the situation. Mouth so close, they’re almost breathing the same air, Dean suddenly became aware of his breathing, and Benny’s puff of air hit him when the man smiled quite amused in the situation.

The sound of stall doors being opened one by one washed away the silence. Knowing what would happen next, Dean suddenly couldn't think of something. Benny might've noticed his little panic; he held Dean's face with both hands so they were looking at each other's eyes once again. Hearing the door next to their stall being opened, Dean saw the seriousness on Benny's face. He heard Benny whispered so low it barely passed a breath.

“I’m sorry about this, chief.”

And all Dean remembered after that was Benny kissing him. He felt two different sensations; a soft lips brushing against his and a short beard scraping his face. It started with a  _barely-there_  soft kiss that escalated to a kiss full of want. Though shocked and confused, Dean closed his eyes and returned the kiss. Benny tilted his head to deepen the kiss, his mind blanked when Benny raked his fingers through his hair, the other hand moved from his shoulder to his back and stopped in his waist trying to hold their body closer.

Too captivated by the kiss, both men didn't hear the knock at stall they were occupying. A mocking laugh above their stall was what brought them back to reality.


	4. Blaming Whiskey

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ratings have been changed, because of things.

Too captivated by the kiss, both men didn't hear the knock at stall they were occupying. A mocking laugh above their stall was what brought them back to reality.

Quite breathless, Dean broke the kiss and looked at Benny, whose eyes were fogged by  _need_. His mind was still blurry, and the only thing lucid to him at that moment was Benny, holding their bodies close. Dean felt heat radiated from Benny's body. He noticed that Benny, too, was coming down from the high of that kiss, loosening his grip on Dean, so he shuffled his feet from Benny's lap.

“Are fucking kidding me!”

The voice from above was gone, and both of them could hear feet stepping down from the stainless urinal and the door next to their stall being opened. Dean was still trying to compose himself when Benny opened the stall to see Sorrento who had mixed emotion plastered on his face. _Anger. Amusement. Disgust_. Who knows? Still confused about what did just happen, Dean searched where the letter went and picked it up to stuff it in his pocket before coming out of the stall.

“…it’s none of your fucking Business, Sorrento.” Dean heard Benny spat Sorrento’s earlier words back to him with equal venom. “Let’s go,  _cher_." Benny ordered, and for the first time, Dean followed Benny – not Benny following him.

Walking past Sorrento, Benny put an arm around Dean's shoulders before looking back over his shoulder to shoot daggers at Sorrento. After exiting the restroom, Benny waited for them to take the first corner before letting Dean go and walked beside him the way they usually do. "I'm real sorry about that, chief. That's the only thing I know to distract him and suspect nothin’ why we’re hidin’ at the stall.” Scratching the back of his head and not looking at Dean, Benny admitted.

“I-i-it’s fine,” Dean stammered. Clearing his throat, he continued, “We got what we came for, so it’s fine, really.”

Mind still jumbled, they both marched in silence towards their cell. The silence of the hall amplified the sound of their footsteps covered Dean's heavy breathing. As Dean entered the room, he saw it, a small package resting on top of his bed. _Perfect_. Dean rushed to sit on his bed and grabbed the package to tear open. _There it is_. Dean lifted up a bottle filled with a golden amber liquid.

Dean's head still couldn't process what the hell did just happen. Dean looked back at the events of that day. I ate breakfast – that's pretty normal, wait… there's no coffee that morning, and Benny teased me about Charlie. That noon Garth escorted me to the visitation room, we had a little chat and he made a little speech being friends with Benny. Charlie and I discussed the case, and we ate lunch – with Benny. I planned on spying on Gordon at the yard and I agree to make a quick detour to the library, and there I heard Fergus and Sorrento had an argument about a letter. Benny informed me about the letter, so we went to the restroom to find the letter. After finding the letter, Sorrento strutted inside, so we hid inside a stall, and Benny kissed me. Benny kissed me. I kissed him back... Benny…

Dean’s train of thought was halted by a weak chuckle from Benny. “You’re doin’ it again.” Benny shook his head a little while he sat slowly on his bed, hands on his knees, across from Dean.

Setting the alcohol next to him, Dean intertwined his fingers together. "Doing what exactly?"

“You, spacing out.” Benny looked away trying to find courage then looked back at Dean. “Look here, I’m real sorry about earlier if that bothers you bad.”

Dean saw a glimpse of sadness in Benny's eyes that quickly replaced by a worried look. The transition was fast enough for him to almost think that it was just his imagination. Now, why would Benny be worried? Dean's fine with it or was it because Dean kissed him back.

Dean hated these kinds of talks. Trying to confirm his suspicion, Dean had to ask. “I told you, Benny, I‘m fine. Why, does it bother you?”

“Yes, Dean.” Benny almost shouted, “It’s just… you’re the best thing that happened to me here,” Eyes locked on Dean’s, Benny said while lowering his voice, “and I don’t want to lose  _this_ ” Benny made a motion with his finger at the ground between them, “because of me being stupid.”

As though the kiss didn't affect him, Dean brushed off the first part and pointed out. “It’s just a kiss Benny, and look at this,” Dean fished out the letter from his pocket, “We got it, and that Sorrento guy didn’t suspect a thing. So please stop overreacting.”

"How ‘bout your significant other, Sam was it? I heard you talking in your sleep, Dean, what would _she_  think about that?”

That sobered Dean up from worry and confusion. Dean laughed so hard he almost fell on the floor. He looked at Benny who's glaring with a puzzled expression. Grabbing the alcohol next to him, Dean stood up and sat next to Benny.

"Sam's my brother, man. I'm single if that's what bothering you, so no harm was done." Dean rubbed Benny's back up and down to assure the man. "How ‘bout we share this bad boy to forget what'd just happened, ‘kay?”

Benny, his ears were beet red, looked down trying to hide his embarrassment. He nodded and looked at the bottle Dean was holding. “But I’ve never tried alcohol before though.” Benny conceded.

“Really, why?” Dean mentally punched himself after the words came out of his mouth.  _He just turned eighteen when he got here_. Benny didn't need to know how he knew that.

"Well, I can't really afford to buy stuff back then, two meals a day is luxury to me, to be honest, and the landlord where I stay was an ass."

Dean didn't expect that answer from Benny. It looks like there’s always  _that_  other side of the story, the one people didn’t know, so Dean forced a smile and hid his sympathy, Benny already felt small about his past and he didn't need that. He lightly squeezed Benny’s shoulder and quoted. “There’s always a first time, for everything, right.” Dean stood and walked in their small sink, he grabbed their tumbler and returned to sit across from Benny.

Dean set the tumblers on the bed and opened the bottle. He poured an inch for Benny and passed it to the man before he poured an inch for himself. Dean clinked their tumblers before raising his to give Benny a salute and downed the content in one go. Feeling the smooth burn down his throat, Dean gestured for Benny to copy him.

Watching Benny choke and curse at the alcohol warmed Dean faster than the alcohol. Though Benny protested, Dean still poured him another and ordered him to drink it. They each take turns telling stories about themselves, and Dean was glad there was alcohol this time not like those nights where he needed to endure Benny's life stories. Benny narrated that his father didn't approve his love of cooking and how his father changed hearts when he perfected his mother's Jambalaya, Benny also described how his father looked at him proudly after that and how he heard his father cried that night. While most of Benny's stories were personal, the ones Dean shared were not that much. Dean admitted that he actually loved Harry Potter but after years of teasing his little brother being a nerd about it, he never told it to anyone except for Charlie, his best friend. After the seventh round, Benny's red as a tomato and started talking about the things he missed the most outside.

“You know, I miss the sea so much I kept dreaming about it every time I close my eyes.” Benny drawled, the alcohol seemed to make his accent thicker.

Dean nodded without commenting, sipping his whiskey waiting for Benny to continue.

"But that dream turned into a nightmare, chief. Through the years I forgot small details of it. It started from how the sand wraps around my feet, then the smell of the salty air, the sound of the crashing waves, how the cool water from the shore felt when it reached my feet, then lastly was the colors. I've always loved watching how the sun disappears at the horizon, and how the colors dance from yellow to blue. But now it's the dream is cold, quiet, and it's all black and white. Sometimes I thought that it's better to forget everything and dream of nothing than getting stuck from that sad place."

The somber look on Benny’s face reminded Dean of himself whenever he tried to remember his mom. Knowing Benny, who literally lost everything, made Dean guilty for not appreciating what little he has. The man was denied a normal life. Yes, Dean didn't have a normal life, but he was given a chance to experience it and learn from it, but Benny… Benny wasted twenty years of his life serving his time for a crime he didn't commit. How come those sonofabitches who used Benny as an escape goat walking free out there? Getting angry at them couldn't return Benny’s time.

The way his mattress dipped from his side woke him from his daydream “You’re doin’ it again.” Benny slurred beside him, chuckling a little. “What’re you thinkin’ this time?”

“Nothing, I just like listening to you.”

Benny’s hand grabbed Dean’s head by the chin and lifted it up so they were eye to eye, blue meeting green. When Benny leaned forward, Dean closed his eyes shut expecting Benny to drunkenly kiss him. Though his mind wanted to turn his head away, his body didn't move and allowing it all to happen.

"Please open them for me, chief," Benny whispered.

Opening his eyes slowly, Dean saw how Benny's blue eyes glistening on verge of tears. Benny didn't kiss him and slowly backed away. "I've never been to the woods before, but the first time I see those green eyes of yours, I dreamt of walking through the woods that felt endless." Benny paused, "That was the best sleep I've ever had since I got here."

 _This man_. Dean realized he was holding his breath, he always thought that Benny was honest, but drunken Benny was disturbingly honest. The alcohol really did its job.

“After  _this_ , Benny, I promise you that I'll bring you to the woods, we'll go camping and I'll teach you how to hunt," Dean said mindlessly, touched by Benny's confession.

“You know what; you never told me the reason why you were sent here, so that might take awhile. And if I ever don’t get out of here, it’s fine as long I’m stuck here with you… until you get out.”

The alcohol must've torn down the walls Benny built to protect what he really felt, because that broke Dean's heart, the Benny he met was never like this. The Benny Dean knew was an optimist, not like this who lost his hope gaining his freedom.

Dean closed his eyes as pleaded. “Don’t fucking say that, Benny.”

“Say what?”

As Dean opened his eyes, he saw graying pair looking back at him that were once blue like the ocean that drowns him every time he looks at them. Swallowing the lump in his throat, Dean replied. "That you'll never get out of here or that you'll never be free again because believe me I will drag you out myself if that ever happened."

That made Benny chuckle a little. "Come on, bud, the people who pressed the charges wanted me to rot in here. And I think it's better to expect that I'll never get my freedom back, so if… IF I ever get it, then it'll make me happy, and IF NOT then I won't be disappointed because I never expected it in the first place." Benny shrugged, as though he already accepted his faith being stuck here for good.

With wide eyes, Dean examined Benny’s face, as though Benny was only kidding. He found nothing and he bit his cheeks to avoid saying something more stupid like  _I’ll save you from here_ or  _we’ll fake your death for you to escape_. Benny was about to open his mouth to start talking again, Dean blamed the alcohol for his action when Dean grabbed the back of his neck and pulled him forward crashing their mouth together.

The room was filled with their moans and groans. Dean was straddling Benny’s lap, his knees on either side of Benny’s hips, while Benny attacked his neck. Dean groaned when Benny playfully bit the curve of his neck, Benny then peppered the bitten skin with kisses. Dean rolled his head back to give Benny more access while the man gave him warm, wet kisses to his jaw.

Benny's hand ran from Dean's shoulder to his hip and scooted forward a little to bring their hips together. Benny then experimentally squeezed Dean's ass and a gasp came out of his mouth that rapidly covered by his own and kissed him hard. Dean shifted his weight, and he felt Benny's hard member against his crotch. A throaty groan escaped from Dean that Benny swallowed around the kiss as his hip jerked forward, seeking that delicious friction, making his eyes rolled backward and his hips ground towards it.

Wanting to feel more skin, Dean reached blindly to open Benny’s jumpsuit. Successfully opening one button, Benny shifted to make it easier for Dean and focused his attention on Dean’s neck, sucking it lightly – avoiding leaving a mark there, and dipped his tongue into the hollow of Dean’s throat. Getting impatient, Dean backed away a little work on unbuttoning Benny’s top. After opening all the buttons, Dean saw the way Benny looked at him hungrily when he shrugged the jumpsuit off. Dean locked eyes with Benny as he tugged off the man’s undershirt from his pants, and Benny raised his arms to assist Dean stripping it off.

When Benny’s bare chest was exposed, Benny’s scent invaded Dean’s nostrils – making him hotter if that was even possible, Dean rested his hands against it, feeling the heat radiating from the skin, slightly pulling the hairs covering the skin, and started thumbing Benny’s nipples.

Eyes both locked, Dean leaned forward to give Benny an open-mouthed, hot, wet kisses. Benny circled an arm around Dean's waist to bring their bodies closer and brought up his other hand to grasp the back of Dean's neck, tipping his head and slanting their mouths to deepen the kiss. Benny grabbed Dean tighter to roll them over slowly without breaking the kiss and trapping Dean below him against the mattress. Being trapped like this was against all Deans' instincts. Dean's brain screamed at him to throw the body pinning him down, instead, he opened his legs for Benny to lie between them.

Benny pushed his hips a little making Dean choked a moan and pushed back. Benny shifted, and his weight was focused on Dean’s cock. Benny started grinding down as he whispered sweet French words to Dean’s ear. “You feel so good to me,  _Jude_.” Dean’s eyes opened wide when the name came out from Benny’s mouth.

 _This is not right_. “It’s  _Dean_.” He choked out as Benny continued to grind against his crotch, aligning their clothed cocks.

"What?" Benny breathed out and started sucking on Dean's earlobe – loving the way how Dean trembled under him.

"My real name's Dean," Dean confessed with a shaky voice, jerking his hips up whenever Benny pushed down.

“Dean… Dean…” Benny tested how the name rolled off his tongue, “Dean… yup, that’s way better than Jude.” Benny stopped peppering kisses on Dean’s neck to look down at him. “But you still look like a Jensen to me.” Benny chuckled, reaching to start unbuttoning Dean’s jumpsuit.

Suddenly, Dean couldn't breathe, as though denying to Benny his real name was drowning him.

Dean almost whined when Benny stopped rocking their hips and he shamelessly jerked his hips upward, seeking that delicious friction, but found nothing. Shivers traveled through Dean's spine when Benny's hand traveled from his chest to his abdomen, tucking off his white undershirt, wanting to feel his skin. He looked at Benny who's marveling his body with awe as he was slowly being unwrapped like a present in Christmas. Dean heard Benny made a confused sound and looked down where Benny's eyes were locked.

Dean cursed under his breath and tried to snatch away the picture from the waistband of his pants, but Benny was faster. Dean scooted back and propped himself up using his elbow to study Benny’s face.

"Where did you get this?" Still kneeling between Dean's legs, Benny looked back at the small calendar on the wall, "it's recent, just four days ago." Benny looked back at Dean, the lust from his eyes was gone, still holding the picture Charlie gave to him that noon.

Dean didn't answer, he just stared at Benny while calming his breath, the moment of heat was starting to evaporate between them. Dean chewed his bottom lip trying to find his voice down his throat; he withdrew his legs from Benny, who moved back and sat at the edge of the bed. He turned his to look at Benny, who's giving him a confused look and started to shuffle off the bed to sit right next to him.

Benny broke the silence by enumerating things what he observed about Dean. “Following Gordon for almost two months, me eating with your friend at the visitation room – that is real somethin', by the way, smuggled goods like this one," Benny pointed at the alcohol, "eavesdropping Sorrento's conversation, and now this. Seriously, who are you, _Dean_?” Benny gave that reassuring smile at Dean.

 _Bobby will kill me_. Dean warned himself.  _But this is Benny_. Dean looked at Benny who’s still smiling at him.  _What the hell_. Dean shifted his body, so now that he’s face to face with Benny, their knees grazing each other. “Well, as I said earlier,” Dean looked down to hide his little heat from his face, but little he knew Benny noticed it, “my real name’s Dean. Dean Winchester, I’m a  _private investigator_.”  _Benny doesn’t need to know everything_. Dean thought but that lie left a bitter taste in his mouth. "Actually, scratch that last part. I'm working undercover here." _That’s real close to the truth_.

"So, you are like James Bond," Benny looked at him with amusement in his eyes. "That's the only explanation for your moves." Benny bounced; his smile was now reaching his ears.

 _I wish_. That compliment warmed Dean’s heart. “Well, umm do you know something about that?” Dean tipped his head towards the picture, resting on Benny’s lap.

“Oh. Yeah. It’s like a receipt… that looks exactly like the one where I used to work.” Dean gave an inquisitive grunt wanting Benny to continue. “These receipts varied from pick-ups and delivery. This one is one of the pick-ups, look here.” Benny pointed at the second and third line of codes. “These are coordinates.”

“Like GPS?" Dean asked, and quickly mentally facepalmed himself when Benny gave him a confused look. _Maybe there’s still no GPS back then._

"I don't know what that means but, this is used in navigating maps. This one right here," Benny now pointed at the fourth line of codes, "These first four digits explain that this receipt is for pick-ups, and the last four digits are the place where the item will be _stored_. If it’s for delivery, the second part is where we  _get_  the goods to be delivered.”

Dean nodded, trying to soak everything he was hearing; he waited for Benny to continue because there's still the last line of code for him to explain. Dean saw how Benny's tried to quickly hide the trembling of his hands by clasping it together after returning the picture to him. Dean noticed how Benny looked into the void. _Look who’s spacing out now_. Dean said to himself.

“Benny?” Dean cautiously raised a hand and reached for Benny’s arm.

That brought Benny back to reality and look back at Dean with a blank expression. “What?”

“How ‘bout this last part, what does it mean?”

“First four digits mean cargo number and the last part is the…” Benny coughed and looked at the floor. “The last part is the code informs who the cargo belonged to. That receipt says that it belonged to the  _Kormos_.” Benny almost whispered the last part.

_Kormos… I heard that before… or maybe read… I can’t remember._

"You know Andrea, my late girlfriend who got murdered and blamed her death on me? She's the only daughter of the Kormos. That receipt was probably attached to one of their cargos.”

 _Yep, I read that name before. I need to know more about this._ Dean thanked his lucky stars for meeting Benny here. The thought of ‘ _this might help to hasten the case_ ’ turned drastically to ‘ _this will shorten the time being with Benny_ ’, made Dean’s gut do somersaults. Wanting to be selfish for once and keep this information for himself, but his righteous instinct screamed at him to do the right thing.


	5. Recollection

"You know Andrea, my late girlfriend who got murdered and blamed her death on me? She's the only daughter of the Kormos. That receipt was probably attached to one of their cargos.”

“How’d you meet her?”

Benny looked at the floor before looking back at Dean. "One month after I lost everything, I started working at Port of South Louisiana; they let me clean the decks in exchange for food. Then after a year of scrubbin' floors, I started travelin' from port to port and ended up in Port of Portland, where I got settled – but not quite. Then I met her there."

Dean saw the glimmer from Benny’s eyes, probably thinking about Andrea. Dean felt something heavy in his chest, the way Benny reminisced about the girl and smiling at the memory.  _Minutes ago, he’s giving me that smile._  Dean didn't want to admit it, but he felt a pang of jealousy towards a dead girl.  _This is ridiculous_. “She pretty?” Dean leaned backward, propping himself using both hands and tilting his head while forcing himself to give a teasing smile.

“The most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. She’s Greek, maybe that’s one of the reasons.”

“You missed her?”

Benny' smile faltered a little when he looked at Dean. "Is it wrong if I don't?" Benny examined Dean's face before continuing. "It's been a long time ago, I know I really loved her back then, but I don't remember how or why," Benny grunted and shifted his position, crossing his legs. "Why do you have that again?" He pointed at the picture; clearly wanting to change the subject.

Dean scooted backward until his back hit the wall. "Well, Charlie gave it to me fresh from the scene."

Humming his comprehension, Benny copied Dean and sit right next to him, their shoulders touching. "That explains the lunch earlier. She your boss? What are you workin’ at?”

 _She your boss?_  Dean repeated the question to his head.  _What the fuck_. Dean realized that he didn’t know what Charlie did in their department apart from poking files using her laptop and occasional visits from the scene to take pictures.  _Maybe she’s an IT_. Skipping the first question, Dean answered the second one. “It’s a drug case. We got this unsolvable drug case that started three years ago, and the only clue we got back then was this man talked about this specific prison before getting killed.”

“And you think Sorrento is connected to this?”

"Probably, he's on my list," Dean stated, searching for the forgotten letter.

“List?”

Thinking that the letter might have fallen off the bed, Dean stopped looking for it and answered Benny. "Yes, a list of names that have a connection and history about drugs."

"Huh, am I on your list?" Dean nodded grimly at that, and Benny leaned his head hitting the wall. "You think I'm  part of it?”

“To be honest, at first yes I suspected you, and then Garth convinced me that you’re too good to be even here.”

“Huh, Which Garth convinced you?”

That caught Dean off guard because he only knew one _Garth_  in his life. “The dentist-slash-guard-here-Garth, that Garth.”

“Huh,  _that_  Garth, I thought his grandfather told you about me. So, what is the deal with Sorrento?”

"I still don't know," Dean recalled his conversation with Charlie about their findings of the case. "What Charlie said that there's a possibility that the drugs were being transported by water. They've seen diving equipment at one of the vans, some drugs are hidden underneath the crates of lobster, and that picture is their only clue so far." Something clicked inside of Dean's mind that shocked him, making his body jerk involuntarily and startling Benny. "You said you've seen it in your old job, right. What is that job?" Dean said quickly as though if he didn't voice it out fast the thought might vanish in his head.

"Yes, I worked at the docks; I've seen those receipts attached to the cargos or crates we lugged to store," Benny replied slowly trying to remember his work at the docks.

Dean nodded, he’s thinking so hard that made him think that he was taking his GED. “You’ve said that you once worked with Sorrento, right, which work is that?”

“Yes, at the docks, we’ve worked at the docks.”

 _Awesome_. “Now, I’ll just need to know where Sorrento last worked, but I’ll let the other guys handle it.” Dean scrambled off the bed to find the letter on the floor and sat back next to Benny after picking it up. “Want to help me figure out what this letter might give us?”

"Nah, I'm no good at that. And how did Fergus' letter connected to your work?" Benny crossed his arms over his chest, which was still bare after Dean stripped his top off, that made Dean realized that he's half naked too.

Dean coughed and willed himself not to ogle at Benny’s chest –  _hairy chest, like a bear._ "Well, you've said earlier that Sorrento, never met Fergus when he came here, but acted like he knew him and took every letter of his. Maybe Fergus is connected with Sorrento's work somewhere in the past." Dean opened the letter to examine it to make his eyes busy and stop glancing at Benny's chest.

Dean narrowed his eyes, trying to find something from the letter. He read it like hundredth times, thinking maybe the written words needed to be deciphered. He flipped it and even read under a light searching for an invisible message, but he found nothing. Benny pressed his body against him, making his body tense as he felt the warm heat radiating from the man, to look at the letter. Dean heard Benny hummed a familiar melody while concentrating on the letter.

Benny’s arm circled around Dean’s back to hold the piece of paper, resting his chin on Dean’s shoulders. Dean felt the older man’s hot breath above his skin when he talked. “Is it just me or the letters looked broken?”

Dean tilted his head to look confusedly at Benny, making their faces impossibly closer. "What?"

“Oh, nothing, maybe it’s just the cheap ink makin' the letters look funny.” Benny pointed at the letter. “Look here, the line is broken but the spaces are not like the one from the faded letters. They should buy a new printer to avoid that.”

Dean looked at the lines and observed that it’s not caused by the printer as though the lines were purposely broken.  _It looks familiar_ , _but I can’t remember what it is, but I think I know I know this_. Dean thought to himself. “It looks like… like…” Dean trailed off.

“Like  _Mort's_  code?” Benny suggested.

With wide eyes Dean jumped off from the bed, smiling at Benny widely. “Fuck! Morse code!” Dean knew his voice was loud but he didn't seem to care. “You’re the best Benny!” Dean hugged Benny tight, who’s shocked with Dean’s reaction, and kissed his bearded cheek.

"Okay," Benny said awkwardly, trying to reciprocate the hug and patting Dean's back. "Can you read it?"

Breaking the hug, Dean leaned back and sat on his heels. "No, but the other guys might." Still smiling, Dean folded the paper and tucked it into the waistband of his pants.

"You should stop doin' that." Benny pointed at the letter tucked at the waistband like how he saw the picture there earlier. "After solvin' this, your family will be proud of you," Benny commented out of the blue. Dean's smile faltered, not because of making his family proud but knowing that his time with Benny will come to an end. He didn't have much of a family left, but who's he to say that while Benny only got a cousin. Benny saw how Dean's smile weakened so he asked out of curiosity. "Did I say somethin' wrong?"

“No, nothing.” Dean shook his head no. “You know what? I think it’s not fair I know plenty things about you and you know nothing about me, so you can ask me anything you want.”

“I don’t know what to ask. How about you tell me who  _Dean_  really is.”

Dean puffed a breath and smiled. "Would you believe me that everything I said about myself is real?"

“So you actually call your car  _baby_?” Benny smiled.

“Yup, she’s the only one who never let me down.” Dean sat next to Benny crossing his legs Indian style.

Benny turned his head to look at Dean “How’d you get her?”

“My dad gave it to me, it’s one of his prized possessions and it’s like our home growing up.” Dean felt the emotion building inside of him. He’s about to crush it and don’t let it bother him, but he knew Benny will never judge him, so he just let it happen, making his eyes glimmer, reminiscing at the memory of them sleeping at the car as a child.

Dean told Benny how his mother was murdered inside their house and setting it on fire. His father came just in time to save him and Sam from the burning house. Dean explained how he and Sam grow up and the sacrifices he made, for Sam to feel normal in their not so normal nomad life chasing criminals, how Dean needed to act mature in a young age taking care of Sam and being the father and mother figure to his little brother.

Dean knew Benny understood how it felt, having a little brother himself and losing both his parents. The only difference was Dean's little brother lived and Benny's little brother didn't. Dean remembered clearly how Benny told his heart-wrenching story.

…

Benny started the story how their life was normal at first. His father was a poor fisherman who fell in love with his mother who was a daughter of a once-famous diner in New Orleans. His mother left everything behind to make a future with his father that resulted in being disowned by her parents and family. Her mother got sick after giving birth to his little brother, _Eli,_ making his father swallow his pride and asked for help to his in-laws. They gave his father nothing but humiliation and convinced him that everything wrong in their life was his fault and that he couldn't do anything to help their daughter. His father sold their house, their boat, and almost everything to have money for his mother's medicines. Benny's mother grew weaker and fought for five long years before her body gave up and die while sleeping, He was awoken that night by hearing his father cry that he could almost touch the sadness and hurt emitted by the choked sobs.

A year after his mother's death, Benny stopped attending school to help his father earn money through fishing and waiting tables in a diner. His father was reluctant at first, wanting him to continue his studies first to grant his wife's wish for them to finish school, but after Benny saw the hurt in his father's eyes that screamed how he failed them as a father and as a husband. He passed his mother's wish to his little brother, wishing at least one of them to finish school.

His father saw an opportunity to earn more money at the harbor and joined a fishing expedition that took his life after a machine failure at the ship. The harbormaster gave them money and paid for the funeral of their father. That tragedy devastated Benny and forced him to grow up sooner, taking his childhood away. Refusing to live with their relatives, they ended up living in a foster home. Wanting the best for his little brother, Benny tried to leave him behind, but Eli sensed his plan and wanted to come with him. They ran away from the foster home and return to their old house to fend for themselves. Benny managed to work two shifts in a diner and took sidelines at the construction to continue Eli's studies and feeding them both. Everything was fine until two years later when Eli got sick.

All of Benny's savings were spent for payment to the hospital; and when he couldn't pay for Eli's medical bills, he was threatened to leave the hospital because there are people who're willing to pay for their room. Benny remembered how his father begged for help and that's what he did. He begged the doctors to let them stay for a few days, but nothing seemed to penetrate the cold hearts of those bloodsuckers. Benny was forced to bring his little brother home, and he just knew that Eli will not last any longer, so he held him tight, whispering encouraging words like ‘you're fine', but his body said otherwise. He was trembling out of fear of losing everything that's left of him, the sadness of facing life alone, and anger towards world for letting him experience pain. He knew that he should call the morgue when his little brother didn't respond anymore, but he remembered they don't have a phone, so he just held him tighter for at least an hour before he knocked to their neighbor's door. With red-stained eyes, he asked if he could use the phone. His good neighbor handled everything from there and offered him food, comfort, and company. And after a month of mourning, that's when he started working at the docks.

…

“I’m pretty sure he’s very proud of you.” With a stern face, Benny clasped Dean’s shoulder for assurance. Dean didn’t reply so Benny added. “Fathers are not vocal about their feelings, Dean. You just need to decipher their words, and you’ll know what they really meant.”

"He's dead, he umm… he died two years ago." Dean said coldly, avoiding Benny's gaze. His and Benny's relationship with their fathers were very different, and based on what he knew Benny had bonded and made his father proud. While all Dean knew about him and his father was they were never been on good terms and he's a disappointment in his eyes.

“I’m sorry about that,” Benny said with a genuine tone, “But believe me, he’s proud of you.” Dean nodded still not looking at Benny. “I know this might not change anythin’ but I believe your father died together with your mother the night she was murdered.” And with that Dean look at Benny eyes full of confusion. Benny put an arm around Dean’s shoulder to give him a one arm hug. “You ever fell in love, chief?” Benny asked.

Both half naked, Dean felt uncomfortable towards Benny’s friendly hug. Dean couldn't explain it but the warmth relaxed his body and made him lean his head on Benny’s shoulder. “I don’t know.” He said after inhaling Benny’s musky scent, the smell of the ocean coming from Benny was amplified by the dried sweat from their earlier activity.

Dean didn't know anymore if what he felt in the past was  _love_. Yes, it made him happy, but with all the secrecy and hiding made it hard for him. He was ready to leave everything behind to come out and tell the world to ‘ _fuck off, I love this man’_ but the man was afraid of being exposed.  _‘What we have is good maybe because it’s a secret.‘ ‘The department doesn’t accept people like us.’ ‘I’m not ready yet.’_ Dean had had enough of that but he held tight to what they had back then, thinking maybe that guy will change his mind sooner. He was wrong.

Wanting to forget the past, Dean closed his eyes and relished what he had now. Benny. What they have now was fine with him. Dean couldn't help himself to think about of leaving Benny behind, but he’ll deal with it later.

“Then you’ll never know how your father felt when he lost his wife.” Dean relaxed on Benny’s shoulder and grunted for him to continue. “Remember when you show me the picture of you and your mother?” Dean nodded. “Have I already told you that you look like your mother?”

 _Yes, I know._ “No, you haven’t.” Bobby always said to Dean that he looked like his mother, while Sam looked like his father.

“Well, your father losing the love of his life and seeing her with you. That’s hard, Dean. That might be the reason why he treated you bad back then or the way you said that ‘he can’t even look at you’. You ever heard him cry?” Benny was now caressing Dean’s hair, and he tightened the one arm hug every time Dean tensed his body to the words he said.

Now, the words from Bobby started to make sense in Dean’s head. How his father treated him and Sam differently. He was exactly like his mom, the brawn of the family and Sam was exactly like his father, the brain. No wonder Sam and his dad always fight, and no one pulled back because they were both stubborn and full of pride.

“No.”

“He drank a lot, yeah?” Dean nodded again. “See, he’s drownin’ himself to numb what he felt. My father always said that it’s better to talk than sulk.” Benny pointed out while shaking Dean in his arm. “You’re not like that, aren’t you?”

"Actually, I'm exactly like that." Dean chuckled throatily, remembering how every time he had a fight with Sam, he'd rather drink himself to sleep than to talk. Dean called those talks: _chick-flick moments,_ and he hated those. “That is how Winchesters deal with things.”

Benny chuckled a little but talked in a serious tone. "That's a very self-destructive habit you got there, chief. If you have a problem, I'm all ears. You hear me." Squeezing Dean's shoulder a little, Benny looked at Dean and waited for an answer.

Dean looked up to see those bright blue eyes staring at him; it’s full of determination wanting Dean to know that he really meant what he just said. “Sure.” Dean dropped his head and nuzzled Benny’s neck, inhaling his scent knowing his time with his friend will soon come to an end. Dean knew what he was doing was very intimate, but with Benny, he’s fine taking down his walls for a little comfort.  _Who would’ve thought I get to enjoy cuddling_? Dean thought. He never got to experience this with his last relationship, and he didn't want to remember how _Castiel_  flinched when he tried to touch him in public, he even wouldn't let Dean touch him when they were alone.  _‘I’m not ready yet.’_  Dean heard that familiar voice in his head.

Benny, too observant for his own good, whispered low his voice was muffled by Dean’s hair. “You can talk whenever, chief. I’m here.”

"How'd you deal with your problems, Ben?"

Dean wanted to disentangle himself away from Benny; he didn't want to get used to something he couldn't have, and he wished that Benny will be the one to break first. Dean tried to break free but Benny only tightened his grasp.

“I cried, Dean. It’s better to let it all go than keeping it inside and eat you alive.” Benny started rubbing Dean’s arm while he hummed that familiar melody.  _What is that song_? Dean was trying to hum the same melody in his head to remember why this song comforted him and felt familiar – familiar but forgotten through years of deprivation of it.

Before Dean remembered what the song was, he was back to his old bedroom –  _his childhood bedroom_. His mom was carrying him on her hip, and rocking him to sleep. She was singing _Hey Jude,_ calming him from his nightmare. Now, he’s back inside their prison cell, carefully being laid down by Benny. Sleep was taking over his body with a little help from the alcohol. Dean was barely conscious when Benny kissed his temple and whispered  _‘Goodnight, chief’_ before he slowly crawled off the bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The age gap between Benny and his brother is seven years.


	6. Adiós

It took four weeks to confirm the piece of evidence Charlie provided to Dean that Fergus and Sorrento were connected to the drug deals inside the prison. Dean and his colleagues have been observing the two closely. Fergus received two letters from his mother that time – which was an average number according to Benny. The agent checking the letters copied the codes, for them to decipher, before delivering it back to Fergus. Deciphering the messages became easy with the help of Benny’s tips of reading the  _receipts_ , which were both a  _delivery_  type where the drugs would be left to a specific coordinates to be picked up by the clients. While agents outside surveyed the perimeter of the coordinates two days before the transaction happened, the agents inside studied how Sorrento relayed the information outside.

Luckily for them, Sorrento obliviously flirted with one of their agent, who’s assigned to be a lunch lady, and asked her to give him some limes for his  _vitamin C deficiency,_ that proven to be a lie according to the agent working as a nurse. Dean didn't know why Sorrento needed the limes, but Garth informed them that the acid from the limes could be used as _invisible ink_  for secret messages. After the Sorrento’s flirting incident, the agent checking the letters was instructed to check the hidden message if it matches to the one hidden in Fergus’ letter.

After confirming that both letters do have the same hidden messages, the agents outside tracked where the letters were sent. The first one was sent to Sorrento’s sister while the second was sent to the docks – the place where Benny and Sorrento worked. Sorrento’s sister was seen driving at the docks a day after receiving the letter.

The dock where the letter was sent was owned by the Kormos family but administered by a different person, and Charlie managed to discover that the founder of the nursing home – where Fergus’ mother was staying – was hiding in an alias  _Richard_.

 

* * *

  

Dean didn’t mention to Benny that he’ll leave after finalizing the plan of seizing the drug activity inside the prison, but Benny, too smart for his own good, understood why Dean was trying to distance himself from him, and instead of letting Dean do what he thought was right, Benny never left Dean’s side and assured him that he’ll be fine – though sad, he would be  _fine_.

Nothing happened similar to the night that included whiskey, but lingering touches and second longer glances were exchanged between both men. They both touched each other more than necessary, subtle squeezes were present to confirm that they were still both there. Each of them stole longer glances whenever they thought that the other one was not looking, trying to remember every small detail of one another and filling their memory that'll last a lifetime as though they would never see each other again.

The day before the plan of killing  _Jude_ , the day Dean was dreading; Benny asked Dean when would he leave while they're eating their lunch. Dean was reluctant to answer, but the way Benny looked at him at that moment – begging for an answer, he conceded.

Dean played with his food while he tried to find his voice buried in his throat. “Tomorrow.” He mumbled almost to himself, so he cleared his throat and looked away to find the courage he needed before looking directly to Benny’s pleading blue eyes to repeat what he just said. “Tomorrow, Benny.”

"I heard you the first time." Benny smiled, but he couldn't fool Dean with his winning smile if his eyes were full of grief. "You already packed yet?" He asked, trying to pretend that Dean was just going on a long vacation and would be back after a few weeks – _or months or years_.

Despite the fact that everything had been done in the background, Dean sensed that Benny wanted to spend little more time together, so he guaranteed the man that he still got time. “They already took most of my stuff, but my personal belongings are still in our cell, so…" Dean trailed off, searching for words to voice out what he needed to say, "…we can still hang out." But he sounded almost like a question.

"Sure, want me to help you pack?" Benny asked while Dean was shoving his asparagus to his tray. "Oh, you." Benny breathed out whilst shaking his head. He'll miss this: eating an extra portion of vegetables in exchange for his proteins. He was about to take his boiled pork to put it in Dean's tray when he felt a warm hand in his hand. He looked up to see Dean shaking his head no for the food; he understood it clearly and smiled at the man.

 

* * *

  

They were both walking towards their cell while Dean was explaining to Benny what hipsters were. Benny pointed out that if hipsters were fond of old kinds of stuff then that made Dean a hipster for his _baby_  and cassette tapes. Dean tried to reason out that loving an old car had always been normal and he couldn't perform his ‘ _shut your cakehole_ ' speech because they're not driving, so he admitted that those cassette tapes once belonged to his father and he loved it so much he couldn't find the strength to update it. Dean also mentioned how Sam installed an iPod inside the Impala, unknowingly violating its sanctity, and how he went apeshit because of it. Though Benny didn't know what an iPod meant he laughed how Dean delivered the story. Dean closed the hipster conversation by declaring how he hated overpriced coffee that those _douchebags_  loved.

Dean's back was slammed against the cell door right after he entered the room and both his wrists were grabbed tightly above his head making him feel vulnerable. He locked eyes with Benny – green to blue – whose eyes were contrasting his rough action. Benny's bright blue eyes were searching for any resistance while silently asking if what he's doing was fine. Dean didn't need to answer, which he found great about their _friendship_  – the lack of words but they understood each other as though they grew up together; he just leaned forward capturing Benny’s soft lips with his.

Dean moaned as he hungrily kissed Benny, but Benny managed to shift it to a slow pace. Benny let go of Dean's wrists and grasped the back of Dean's neck and tipped it to deepen the kiss while his other hand circled around Dean's waist. Dean moved both his hands from Benny's back to his shoulders clutching there as though his life depended on it. Benny wedged his meaty thigh between Dean's legs and applied pressure at the crotch making Dean groan in his mouth. Dean broke the kiss gasping for air and rolled his head back as he ground down on Benny's thigh shamelessly.

A surprised groan escaped from Dean's throat when Benny bit the line of his jaw and nibbled his way up until his mouth reached the back of Dean's ear, stopping at the lobe to playfully tug it. Dean felt a hand on his abdomen trying to find the drawstring of his prison pants when he heard a clinging sound of keys outside – _fuck_. Benny heard it too, withdrawing his hand away from Dean’s pants; he took Dean’s head to look at his breathtaking green eyes before giving him a firm kiss. Benny felt how Dean melts to the kiss, but he needed to break it sooner as the sound of the keys got louder and louder.

Both of them fell on their asses and leaned their backs against the cell door grinning at each other. They heard a coded knock – like a password when you wanted to go to a secret bar – above their heads indicating that the one standing outside was Garth. Dean stood up but Benny stayed sitting on the floor when they heard Garth’s hushed voice.

"I'm here, Garth," Dean whispered, still trying to even his breath after that last kiss Benny gave him.

Signaling across the hallway, Garth turned his attention back to the small window. Garth explained that Dean would be leaving tomorrow morning and he’ll be taking his stuff later that night when everyone would be eating dinner at the cafeteria. Garth also added how their plan needed him to start a ruckus – punching someone if he needed to – as a signal if he’s ready to leave.

Dean was startled and his breath hitched when he felt a hand groping his crotch. He looked down to see Benny giving him a crooked smile while palming the outline of his clothed cock. Dean heard a concerned tone coming from the other side of the door so he looked up to see Garth giving him a confused look.

“Have you told Benny that you’ll be leaving tomorrow?” Garth asked, oblivious to what’s happening inside the cell.

Dean nodded slowly trying to find his voice lodged in his throat together with the moan threatening to escape there. He licked his bottom lip before speaking. “Yeah.” He breathed out shakily; proving that evening his breath was futile when Benny continued palming his hardening cock through the pants. He tried to give Benny a threatening look, but Benny only smiled innocently at him. Dean was torn if he wanted Benny to continue or to stop his mischief.

Garth read Dean’s trembling answer in a different way, so he showed more concern when he asked where Benny was after observing that Dean was alone in their cell. “He’s not taking it well, huh?”

 _Fuck that_. Dean thought to himself when Benny’s hand fumbled trying to unfasten the drawstring of his prison pants. Dean looked down to see Benny sitting on his heels as he started to pull down his pants. Dean gasped when he felt Benny’s nose nuzzled his crotch, scenting him through the thin fabric of his boxers. Garth must’ve noticed it but read it completely wrong again.

"Don't worry Dean he'll be out before you know it," Garth assured him.

 _Oh, it'll be out soon alright_. Dean rested his head below the small window of their door, trying to hide the blush in his face because he knew that he's as red as a tomato at that moment and bit the insides of his cheeks. Benny managed to pull down Dean's boxers as well – slapping Dean's hands whenever he tried to pull them up – exposing Dean's thick length, bobbing up and down inches away from his face.

Due to Dean’s lack of responses, Garth tapped at the small window to get Dean’s attention back. “I know it's hard Dean.”  _Which one?_ Dean questioned himself because he could enumerate at least three things what’s hard in his head and one of it was his cock. “This might not actually help you but if you needed a  _hand_ to pack your stuff in your car, I'll be here, okay." Benny chose that moment to touch him and gave an experimental stroke making Dean choke a groan. "You know it is okay to cry, right."

Dean dropped his head again as he felt Benny’s tongue licking the underside of his cock making his body tremble, Garth saw the way Dean shook, so he thought that Dean actually started crying. “There, there. Let it all out, Dean” Garth said with a soothing tone, but it was completely useless for Dean. “I’ll be leaving now to give you space.” And with that Garth was walking away, after the sound of jiggling keys were gone, Dean’s leg gave up.

With his shaking legs, Dean supported himself by leaning back on the door, one hand on the handle and the other one on Benny's shoulder. "Fuck, Benny," Dean grunted.

Benny responded by flicking his tongue over the tip of Dean's cock, playing with the slit and gathering the building precome there. Benny gave Dean a sexy wink before he closed his lips at head without breaking eye contact, wanting to watch Dean's reaction. He lightly sucked on the head while rhythmically stroking Dean's length, seeing Dean broke down above him encouraged him to do more.

Dean was holding on Benny’s shoulders for his dear life to support himself as Benny started bobbing his head. He forced to close his eyes because the image alone of Benny sucking him enthusiastically threatened him to shoot early, and the sinful sloppy sound Benny was making was no help at all. Benny noticed the way Dean’s body tensed, so he pulled away with a loud pop and started kissing the insides of Dean’s thigh.

Taking deep breaths to chase away the building excitement building in his guts, Dean raked his fingers over Benny’s short hair. He hissed when he felt Benny’s hot, wet tongue on his balls and playfully sucking each of them. As Benny focused on kissing Dean’s hipbone while he lazily stroked Dean’s thick length, he arched his eyebrow, silently asking if Dean was ready.

Too breathless to form words, Dean held tighter onto Benny's shoulders to get his attention and nodded to inform that he's ready. Benny licked the length of Dean's cock a few times and kissed the head before putting it back in his mouth. Dean groaned and his knees turned to jelly after his cock was fully sheathed inside Benny's hot, wet mouth in one fluid motion. He heard Benny gagged and backed away to focus sucking on the head. Dean looked down and saw Benny's glassy eyes – tears threatening to fall, as he tried to swallow Dean's whole length again, only this time Benny completely backed away and coughed. He cupped Benny's cheeks, thumbing the stray tear and tilted it upward to face him; he shook his head no when Benny looked at him but Benny only smiled at him.

Dean's head rolled back as Benny started to suck his cock again and twisting his wrist just right. He moaned loudly and his mind went blank when Benny started using his tongue sinfully while sucking him sloppily. Benny was drooling under him using the excess saliva as lube while he rhythmically stroked his cock and swallowing him. Benny's mouth felt like heaven to Dean and he was fighting his instinct of thrusting inside it. Benny pulled out with a pop and guided both of Dean's hands to grab his head. "I'm not gonna break, chief." Benny drawled, and when Dean looked down to look, he winked at him then grabbed the back of Dean's thighs and swallowed him again.

Benny's cheeks hollowed as he bobbed his head while pulling Dean's hips forward as he sucked him off. Dean got the message clearly, so he widened his legs – as far as the pants could offer – to position him as he gripped Benny's short hair and started thrusting into Benny's mouth. Dean started the thrusts slow and shallow and Benny's dissatisfied groans under him made him changed the pace. When Dean's thrust deepened, he felt the fluttering muscle of Benny's throat wrapped around the head of his cock that almost made him come, so he backed away also not wanting Benny to gag, but Benny held his ass firmly. Dean locked eyes with Benny's glassy pair; his eyes challenging him to fuck his mouth deeper.

Dean complied and fucked Benny's mouth deeper – without looking away from Benny's pleading blue eyes, reaching that tight muscle gloriously wrapping the head of his cock. Benny was alternating sucking him and using his tongue to envelop Dean's length. When Benny hummed around Dean's cock, he was done. "Fuck," Dean grunted loudly through his teeth, not caring if someone would hear him, as he spilled his load inside Benny's mouth.

Dean was about to fall with his unsteady legs, but Benny held him firmly to support him while his body spasm. Benny tucked Dean's half hard cock into his boxers and pulling up his pants as he stood up. Dean wrapped his arms around Benny and leaned forward – making Benny carry half of his weight – to rest his head on his shoulders. Benny peppered Dean's face with kisses; he kissed from Dean's temple, eyelid, nose, cheek, jaw, and lastly Dean's lips. Dean returned the kiss and parted his mouth when he felt tongue prodding his teeth for entry. He moaned against Benny's mouth at the taste of himself, and he sucked Benny's tongue savoring the sweet, salty, bitter taste of come.

“You swallowed…” Dean said while he lazily kissed Benny, “…fuck, you’re  _perfect_.”

"My jaw hurts," Benny whined as he pulled away to look at Dean's sated face. "Kiss it better?"

Chuckling weakly, Dean complied and kissed Benny’s jaw. They were standing – embracing each other and exchanging lazy kisses – that lasted for at least five minutes before Dean realized that he needed to return the favor. “How about you, want me to help you with this?” Dean reached down between them to grab Benny’s still hard cock.  _Fuck, it’s big, maybe thicker than mine._ The thought of Benny’s thick cock inside his mouth made him scared and excited at the same time, making his mouth salivate.

Benny groaned, his hips involuntarily jerked forward on Dean’s hand. “Have you done it before?” Benny drawled out, the need of release made his accent thicker and deeper.

“No,” Dean confessed truthfully, “but there’s always a first time, for everything, right.” Dean palmed the thick length between them, applying pressure every time Benny ground against his hand.

"Then no," Benny said firmly, savoring the delicious friction on his cock. "I don't want you to do things you don't want." He embraced Dean closer and nuzzled where the neck and shoulder meet.

Dean gripped the thick shaft before withdrawing his hand, making Benny whine due to loss of contact. "Come on, Benny," Dean demanded. He heard Benny growled, sending shivers down his spine in a good way, and he found himself slammed against the wall, face first. Panic rose inside of him, totally not expecting _this_ , but it disappeared quickly knowing that Benny would never harm him. Still clothed, he felt Benny’s erection pressed against the crack of his ass.

Though both of them were fully clothed, Dean was confused why – every time Benny thrust forward and his erection slid between his butt cheeks – he found it oddly pleasurable and he felt his blood flowing down his crotch, making his cock hard again. He caught himself pushing his hips backward every time Benny jerked forward until they both found a perfect rhythm. Dean bit his arm to muffle his moans while Benny grunted against at the back of his neck every time he pushed his hips. Dean's cock ached, seeking for attention, so he released his arm from his mouth to shuffle at the waistband of his pants and pulling both his pants and boxers down just enough to release his leaking cock. One of Benny's hands circled in front of his chest to clutch on his shoulder, while the other one circled around his waist to stop on his stomach, above the trailed hair, feeling his skin.

Dean arched his back as he jerked his cock, using his precome as lube, which matched Benny’s frantic humping. The way Benny’s grip tightened around him and his labored breath, Dean knew Benny was close. “Come with me, fuck, I’m close.” He remembered how to form words in his mouth instead of moans and gasping noises. Benny grunted behind him, his short hot breath hitting the back of his neck. With a guttural groan, Benny’s body stiffened and his hips slowed down.  _He’s coming_. Dean wanted to come simultaneously with Benny – yes he was close, but not  _that_  close, Dean jerked his cock faster, wanting to come with Benny but he just couldn't . His hand was pulled away, and he felt Benny’s warm hand closed around his cock.  _That’s better_. Benny jerked him, still grinding over his ass; he felt Benny's teeth sunk down his shoulder and that pushed him over the edge. Closing his eyes shut, he shouted loudly as he shot his load into Benny's closed fist. Benny held him close – teeth still latched on his shoulder, his body was like jelly as he came down from his second orgasm.

Sighing deeply, feeling sated and content, Dean opened his eyes when Benny’s teeth unlatched; he saw Benny’s come-covered hand rose and he followed it with his eyes. Dean tilted his head to watch Benny licked his hand clean. Benny winked at him before maneuvering his body to lay it on one of the beds. The smell of spice and mint invaded his nose when he nuzzled a pillow, making him realized that he was on Benny’s bed. “Your pillow smells fresh.”  _I like it._ Dean mumbled against the pillow, watching Benny through half-lidded eyes. Benny shrugged and started stripping down his pants. His eyes widened when Benny pulled down his boxer briefs together with the pants revealing his thick flaccid cock. "You're _huge_.” Dean was shocked when the words slipped out his mouth, wanting to take it back.

A low chuckle escaped from Benny’s throat as he cleaned himself using his  _wet_ boxer briefs. Benny squatted to search inside his cabinet for a clean pair of boxers. Dean watched Benny wear a boxer and stripped his jumpsuit, leaving the undershirt, before sitting beside him on the bed. "Let me take these off," Benny whispered and started undoing the buttons of his jumpsuit.

Stripped down to his boxers, Dean grabbed Benny's arm, pulling him close for a kiss. Still not letting go of the arm, Benny took the hint and climbed the bed. They were lying on their sides facing each other smiling lazily. Dean was about to say something when Benny raised his hand and cupped his cheek. Benny leaned forward, kissing Dean's lips sweetly to prevent words from coming out of them. Words that'll make him feel selfish wanting Dean to never leave his side. But Dean didn't belong here… he belonged out there… not here… Benny tipped his head to kiss Dean's forehead firmly, wishing that Dean would understand. "Sleep," Benny ordered as he pulled Dean into his arms, nosing Dean's hair to hide his face from the man.

Too tired after coming twice, Dean fell asleep almost instantly when Benny pulled him over, using Benny’s arm as a makeshift pillow. Dean didn't know if he was dreaming already when he heard Benny whispered ‘ _Ne m’oublie pas, Dean_ ’ in a quivering tone while he felt Benny’s body shook trying to calm his breathing seconds before consciousness left him.

 

* * *

  

They woke up, limbs still tangled, half an hour before the dinner started. Dressing up in comfortable silence, they marched towards the cafeteria shoulder to shoulder the way they always do, but only this time, the back of their hands were grazing – both wanting to reach over.

Eating in their usual booth, Fergus was sitting with them commenting how  _disgustingly sweet_  they look each other, Dean wolfed down his food in record time as Benny watched him with amusement.

Both of them didn’t talk after waking up – Dean observed, now that they were lying on their sides looking at each other in silence on their own bed. The silence was deafening to Dean and he wanted to break it, only he couldn't find the strength to do so. Too many things to say and too little time left, Dean climbed off his bed and stood up in front of Benny’s bed. Benny smiled at him and scooted to give him some space, Dean climbed the bed lying on his side, his back facing Benny for him to spoon.

Dean closed his eyes as Benny’s arms pulled him closer. He took one of Benny’s hands and intertwined their fingers as he clutched them in his chest. Benny pressed against his back; Dean wondered how it felt normal. Maybe if they met in a different place and time, maybe Benny wouldn’t be here, maybe they’ll have a chance, maybe it’ll save him from his past heartbreak, maybe… maybe.

Benny must’ve read what Dean was thinking because when he started humming, Dean’s thoughts were halted, he focused on Benny’s humming making him forget what he was just thinking, and melted on Benny's arms, feeling warm inside and out, he raised the hand he was holding over his chest to kiss each knuckle there. Inhaling the scent of Benny's cheap soap, which he never found relaxing a few weeks ago, he tried to open his mouth but he couldn't seem to find the words he wanted to say.

_[Hey Jude](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A_MjCqQoLLA), don't make it bad_

Benny’s southern drawl added more charm to the song, making Dean drowsy though he slept like five hours straight that afternoon. Dean fought the creeping sleep, not only he wanted to finish the song but also he wanted to cherish every second of his last night with Benny.

_Take a sad song and make it better_

"When you come out here," Dean whispered while Benny was singing, "I'll let you experience real coffee. Not like the black vile liquid, they served here. Real coffee, you hear me, real coffee." Benny didn't reply, he just continued singing sweetly behind Dean.

_Remember to let her into your heart_

"You promised me that you'll bake me pie." With a trembling voice, Dean continued. "Remember that? You promised that you'll bake me pie. The one with mint chocolate chips. When you come out." Still no reply, Benny just held him tighter and continued the song. _Goddamnit Benny_. “I’ll bring you to the woods… You’ve never been to the woods right?” Still nothing.

_Then you can start to make it better_

Benny’s voice faltered on the last part of the stanza, and Dean felt how Benny’s body shook just like earlier, but Benny didn’t stop singing.  _I cried, Dean._ Dean heard Benny’s words inside his head. Leaving Benny behind hurt like a bitch, but knowing that someone leaving Benny behind again probably hurt more. And that someone was Dean, Benny’s only friend – minus Fergus, Dean wanted to regret befriending the sobbing man behind him, but he couldn't. This was the best thing that’s ever happened to Dean. Dean tried to convince himself weeks ago that he was just sad and lonely, but no, he never lacked friends or family, he just never experienced  _this_. Whatever he and Benny have was special.

Knowing that Benny couldn't do anything to prevent things from happening, he cried while holding Dean tightly. Dean never belonged here, it was never right to take someone's freedom for their own selfish desire. That happened to him and it broke him down. He tried to be strong for twenty years to prove the one behind his imprisonment wrong, but after four months of waiting – after his twentieth year, for his freedom, he started to doubt everything, until Dean came along.

When Benny calmed down, Dean turned around so he could face Benny – eyes red because of tears, but he still smiled at him. Dean reached a hand to sweep the remaining tears away before embracing Benny – Benny’s head in his chest. Dean caressed the head as he continued to sing the song Benny started with all his heart.

_Hey Jude..._

 

* * *

  

That morning, Dean reached a hand for a handshake, but it ended with a bone-crushing bear hug. They smiled at each other knowing that that'll be their last morning, Dean was about to exit the cell door when Benny hugged him again from behind. Dean turned to look at Benny, whose bottom lip was trembling and tears were threatening to fall in his sad blue eyes, he grabbed Benny's head to kiss him slowly one last time before marching his way towards the cafeteria.

Everything after that was a blur. Benny didn't follow him to the cafeteria, and Dean was glad for that, as he remembered punching Sorrento's smirking face before he was dragged out by his colleagues.

Dean was driving towards Sioux Falls – where their main station of their department was located; windows down letting the cold night breeze enter the Impala. He was looking at the cloudless night sky when he remembered one of Benny's stories where his father taught him how to use stars to navigate the sea. Dean smiled to himself how his and Benny's childhood was quite similar, his dad taught him and Sam about constellations and told them stories how he used it to locate where his home was when he was still in the military.

Dean reached the office faster than he expected – the result of only stopping for gas, he was tired but when Charlie welcomed him, his exhaustion evaporated to thin air. She hugged him tight and commented on his  _sexy_  stubble. Dean cupped his face and he felt hair, not just a five o’clock shadow, then it hit him, he was too busy thinking of his separation with Benny, and tailing both Sorrento and Fergus, that he forgot to shave. Charlie also informed him that there’ll be a meeting later that afternoon, and shoved him to the sleeping quarters to get some shut-eye.

The aroma of freshly ground coffee invaded Dean’s nostrils,  _real coffee_ , waking up his soul from its deep slumber. Dean was greeted by Bobby as he entered the kitchen, offering him a mug before sitting down at the table. Dean took it appreciatively, taking deep breaths of its incredible smell before sipping, sighing as he swallowed the bitter drinks of the gods – warming him inside and out.  _Benny will love this_. Dean settled the mug on the table and he sat next to Bobby, who's reading a newspaper.

"You did great back there." Bobby praised as he flipped the newspaper, not looking up at Dean. "That friend of yours helped a lot."

Leaning back in the chair, Dean reached the mug at the table making his hands busy. "Anything happened when I was out?" He took a sip of his coffee and nestled it in his chest.

Bobby looked up from his newspaper before flipping it again. "You won't like it." He straightened the paper as he leaned in to read an article.

“Try me.”

Arching an eyebrow, Bobby folded the paper in half and laid it on the table. "Sam quits," Bobby said flatly. Leaning forward, his elbows were on the table propping his head up. "The legal department offered him more money and he took it," Bobby added quickly, as he saw Dean opened his mouth in shock. "There's more about Sam but it's not my place to say it."

Lacking the energy to think about Sam, Dean closed his mouth and cleared his throat. "Is there anything else other than Sam?" Finishing his coffee, he stood up to put the mug in the sink and leaned back on it, crossing his arms.

“Well, Charlie made a rumor about you and your  _friend_.” Bobby punctuated, he hated gossiping but he’ll never say ‘no’ seeing Dean getting flustered, but seeing Dean’s crestfallen face, he changed the subject smoothly. “Speaking of Charlie, she’ll be here in thirty minutes. Go wash-up, boy.”

It turned out that Charlie went out to fetch Dean some greasy food. Dean and Charlie entered Bobby’s office, six people were cramped the small office and the smell of Dean’s food bag filled the room. Rufus was at the corner of the room, and standing beside him was Pamela. Victor was sitting at the edge of Bobby’s desk.  _Asshole_. Dean heard Charlie snicker beside him.

Bobby tackled first how they surveyed the perimeter of the coordinates written on the receipts. The first coordinates were in the middle of Piscataqua River, Portsmouth, New Hampshire, Rufus and his team used scuba diving equipment to check the drugs left under the Piscataqua River Bridge dropped by a fishing boat. Rufus and his team didn't touch the drugs. Half of his team followed where the boat, who dropped the drugs, while the other half followed the van who picked up the drugs. Rufus informed them that the boat was rented and the van delivered the drugs in Manhattan, New York.

When Bobby started discussing the second coordinates, Victor stood up from the desk and shuffled at the back of the room.  _Asshole_. Dean heard Charlie snickered again. Bobby explained how Victor's action threatened their investigation by arresting the man delivering the drugs red-handedly and baiting the one picking up the drugs and arresting him too red-handedly. Bobby was seething when he informed them that the guy who dropped the drugs in the location died a week ago. Bobby's tirade was halted by Charlie's ringtone. Signaling Charlie to answer the phone, Bobby sat down and waited Charlie to answer the call, trying to calm his nerves.

Charlie turned around to face the wall before answering the call. "Sup," Charlie said towards the phone, she shifted her weight from one foot to another as she listened intently. "Uh-huh." Looking over her shoulders, she looked at the people around the room. "Garth says hi."

“Which Garth?” Bobby asked.

Dean smiled to himself hearing the same question from Benny.

"Garth IV, the dentist," Charlie answered. Bobby grunted as Charlie focused on the phone again. "What!" She shouted, her voice bounced around the small room. Her face was full of horrors as she started pacing at the small space. Glancing at Dean every now and then while she bit her fingernails, made Dean nervous. All eyes were on her when she stopped abruptly. "There's a stabbing incident inside the prison."

 _Sonofabitch_. Dean heard Bobby breathed out behind his desk. Charlie was looking at him, phone still in her ear. Suddenly, Dean was back inside the prison. He was standing in the cafeteria, its walls were bloodstained, and there's a man lying in the middle of the room – blood pooling around his body.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ne m'oublie pas, Dean = Don't forget me, Dean
> 
> I was listening to: [ Can't Take My Eyes Off You ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qXwWT2Chx64) by Lady Antebellum when I am writing this. I think that song suited Dean's personality in this story.
> 
> And call me crazy if I think Cody Johnson sounded like Jensen in his song: [ Wild as You ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c-xZZsg80_c)


	7. Un-burning Bridges

Panic surged inside of Dean's gut and his ears started ringing, he felt like he was trapped in a silent film, everyone in the room seemed to be having an argument – lips were moving but there was no sound coming out of them. The small room felt even smaller, suffocating him, Dean started to hyperventilate as he leaned his back on the wall. "I need to go back." He said, but even he couldn't hear his own voice so he repeated it louder, wanting his ears to hear it. "I need to go back."

A soft firm hand grabbed Dean’s wrists as he tried to open the door of the office and that jolted him back to reality. Dean looked around the room to see that everyone inside the room was looking at him. His wrist was released by Pamela as she stood beside him; she gave him that look that meant:  _pull yourself together and focus_. So he did.

“…so I was saying –” Dean heard Charlie and brought back his attention to her, “— there are two casualties at the prison –”  _Not helping, Charlie_ , “— and five are severely injured. Garth and Jody seized the man, whose name is apparently Edgar – who said ‘ _he’ll kill as many people as possible before they take him down’_ , is now being held in solitary confinement.”

"They got a name?" Rufus asked calmly, who didn't move an inch since Dean and Charlie entered the room.

Charlie clicked her tongue before she sat on Bobby’ table. “Well, we’re only concerned about the two of them. Sorrento Diaz and Fergus Crowley.” Charlie enumerated as she rubbed her head as though she had a bad hangover. “Sorrento guy is dead but Fergus survived… his throat was mutilated though and was rushed to the ER together with the other four.”

Wanting to know more about the names of the injured prisoners and dreading that the other fatality was Benny, Dean looked at Charlie with pleading eyes, but Charlie just shook her head no and smiled a little to assure Dean that nothing happened to his friend. Dean relaxed at that and his mind cleared from the imaginary events that probably happened inside the prison.

 “I’ll contact the Fitzgeralds later,” Bobby said towards Charlie from his table, “Now, see what happened to what you just did Victor.” Bobby looked at Victor and took off his hat. “Looks like the mastermind wanted to clear their tracks and started eliminating his underlings. Fergus needs protection, Rufus, you handle that. Pamela, learn everything from that  _Edgar_.”

While Bobby was directing everyone for their assignments, Dean remembered a specific conversation with Fergus when he first met the man. "There was another stabbing incident inside that prison," Dean said flicking his eyes from Charlie and Bobby.

Raising an eyebrow, Bobby turned his attention to Dean. “ _Another_  stabbing incident, when was that?” Bobby scratched his head before wearing his cap again.

"Last year," Dean crossed his arms over his chest and continued, "Fergus told me about it. We should also investigate that."

“Okay, Victor, you do that. Dean, come back later I have something for you.” And with that, Bobby herded everyone out from his office.

 

* * *

 

 

Confused, Dean was pulled by Charlie inside a room across from Bobby's. The room was decorated with posters of Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings. Shelves were stocked with comic books and action figures, and… _was that a shrine_? Dean was mesmerized by the room that totally described Charlie and as he was gawking at the shelves’ content, Charlie pointed at the chair.

"You can eat here," Charlie suggested as Dean sat down in the chair.

Not hearing what Charlie said, “You have your own room, how come we only got cubicles?” Dean asked curiously.

Charlie laughed warmheartedly at Dean. “Please.” She responded, shaking her head a little as she sat down on the chair behind the desk.

While Dean ate his greasy burger, Charlie explained to him everything about her work, her outstanding decision making and natural leadership earned her position – minus her inhuman computer skills. She asked about how working undercover inside the prison felt like and eased her way about Benny. Charlie being Charlie knew how to make Dean talk in her special little ways.

As Dean enthusiastically described Benny, Charlie saw how Dean bonded with the man and took every bit of her willpower not to talk about her and Bobby’s plan. “He’s really sweet.” Dean blurted out. Charlie was about to open her mouth to spill everything about the plan when she heard Bobby’s voice in her head. ‘ _You know him better than I do and if you’re certain about what you’ve seen, then let’s give it a shot. I’m tired seeing him like that._ ’ Instead, she listened attentively to Dean’s prison escapades.

After realizing he spent too much time inside Charlie's office, Dean excused himself and she waved him goodbye. As he entered Bobby's office, his eyes focused on the man sitting across from Bobby's desk. _Sam_. Dean clasped Sam's shoulder before sitting in the other chair – noticing how Sam's shoulder tensed at the touch and the confused look on his face. Dean returned his attention back to Bobby after giving Sam the: _we’ll talk later,_  look.

“I want you two to work together one last time before Sam gets fully transported.” Bobby started. “The two of you needs to gather information about the history of Kormos Co. We need information who previously owned the place, about their partners, and anything you think that’ll help. Don’t mind the owners, Charlie will work on that.” The brothers nodded as Bobby continued what they needed to focused on. While Sam took notes of the important details, Dean was daydreaming about Benny.

Dean took a deep breath and prepared himself as he and Sam walked out of Bobby's office, sensing his brother would try to apologize for their last fight. "Okay, first of all, _congratulations_ , I know it's kinda late, so come here." Dean pulled Sam into a bone-crushing hug. Sam hesitated at first but returned the hug with equal crushing force. "I'm not mad about what you did. I was just in a very bad place that time, and I can't process things properly."

Still shocked, Sam didn't expect Dean to act that way. He was ready to have another argument but that thought was erased in an instant after Dean hugged him. Trying to find words to thank _his bro_ ther, Dean smiled at him – the genuine smile his brother always wore when they were young, and just like that, he knew that everything would be fine about them.

“How are Jess and the baby?” Dean asked, already walking down the hall.

Walking beside Dean, Sam sheepishly smiled at the ground while scratching the back of his head before he answered. “They’re fine, Jess’ mother was there to help and the baby’s healthy.” Sam declared the last part proudly. “You want to know the gender? Because everyone knew already.”

“Of course everyone knew already.” Dean teased and nudged Sam’s shoulder with his. “Is it a boy?”

“Yeah, three months from now then you’re going to be an uncle, Dean.”

Dean was glad he met Benny, cherishing what's left of him was better than feeling miserable to the things he'd lost. Sam was the only family he got by blood, and he'll treasure it. Benny didn't know that he'd taught Dean to appreciate little things he didn't know he had back then.

The two brothers caught up with each other trying to fix months of separation and misunderstandings. Sam suggested leaving tomorrow morning for them to get some shut-eye first. Dean complied and hugged Sam farewell before coming inside the sleeping quarters while Sam went home to Jess.

 

* * *

 

 

That morning, Dean insisted using the Impala just like the old times and even let Sam pick the music. Sam picked a radio station full of sappy love songs to irritate Dean but things went differently from what he was expecting. The way Dean sang to Air Supply made a dumb look plastered on Sam's face. "Trying to catch a fly there, Sammy?" Dean teased before trying to hit a high note and failing miserably. Sam laughed his ass off at that and Dean followed suit. If he imagined that this was just another road trip with his brother, Sam would have believed himself, but it's not. Dean knew when to joke around during their work and he's taking their job seriously, it had been a while since Sam saw his brother this happy and he didn't want to jinx it by pointing it out.

Four hours later, Dean’s phone rang and an unknown number flashed the screen.

> “ **Benny will be discharged soon, I’ll update you later**. – Garth”

Not knowing who texted Dean, Sam saw how his brother got anxious after reading the message. He noticed Dean's hand hovered a few times trying to reach the phone from his jeans. Cutting Dean some slacks, Sam insisted to stop at the next diner for food, he saw a glint of relief in Dean's eyes when he conceded.

“What do you want?” Sam asked before opening the passenger door.

Confused at first, Dean realized that Sam was giving him space to call Garth. "Surprise me." He smiled. A few seconds later after Sam got out of the car; he rolled the window down and barked at Sam to not bring him rabbit food. Dean waited for Sam to enter the diner before he dialed Garth's number. Garth answered after the third ring and explained to Dean that the notice of Benny's discharge arrived that morning, there was still no date and Garth promised Dean that he'll notify him as soon as possible.

Sam exited the diner with a bag of food; right after Dean ended the call. Both brothers decided that one of them would drive while the other eats to save time – though they were not rushing, Dean, drove for thirty minutes before switching with Sam.

"You look happy, Dean," Sam asked out of the blue, drumming his fingers in the wheel as Dean was in the middle of stuffing his mouth with fries.

Dean chewed faster not wanting to choke or spat the food. “What do you mean?” Sipping his cola carefully, he grabbed a fry and nibbled it while observing Sam.

“Nothing, you just look happy, that’s all.”

“And that’s wrong?”

“No. It’s good, actually, I just… I’ve never seen you this happy since… forever.”

"Hey, I'm always peachy," Dean said with mocking hurt in his voice.

Sam made a gesture with his hand that Dean didn't understand. "This is different, Dean. You know what, never mind." Sam slumped in the seat and focused on the road.

Dean was polishing his fries when he noticed Sam glancing at him every twenty seconds – yes, Dean counted. Determined not to pressure Sam to speak up, Dean waited patiently as he slurped his remaining cola. Getting impatient, Dean finally asked Sam what was on his mind as he bagged his trash.

“Spill, Sammy. What’s on your mind?”

Startled, Sam kept glancing at Dean while his eyes were on the road, opening and closing his mouth; Sam cleared his throat and spoke up. “Is it true that you have a thing with Benny? Not that I’m against it. To be honest, I’m fine with it.” Words spilled out from Sam’s mouth like a waterfall and Dean was shocked – not expecting Sam to ask about Benny.

Looking at Sam with his eyes wide open, Dean tried to compose himself and thought what his relationship with Benny was. For a short period of time he got bonded with the man, maybe he'll consider him as a best friend, but after what happened, it's hard to think that: he and Benny were _just friends_. Having the knowledge of Benny being discharged soon, Dean thought if he and Benny would pick up where they left off or will start from zero. Focusing on Sam’s question, Dean couldn't say that he and Benny was an item.  _We never had a chance_. Dean thought to himself but he didn’t realize he thought out loud and Sam heard him loud and clear.

"So… You really liked him huh." Dean didn't answer. "I don't know what happened between you and Cas, but do you think he’s just a rebound?” Sam asked curiously – oblivious to what really happened.

Hearing the name turned Dean’s somber mood into a sour one. “Don’t you fucking say that name to my face.” Dean spat with venom – not directly at Sam. “I’m the one who ended things with  _that guy_ , and Benny, he was never a rebound and never will be.” Dean toned his voice down, knowing he was almost shouting. “I know you’re still friends with  _him_ , and if you want to keep it that way, don’t question things you don’t want to ask, Sam.”

“I’m sorry.” Sam apologized sincerely. Determined to bring back the Dean four minutes earlier, he thought of Bobby’s  _secret_ plan. "You know after Charlie started that gossip. Bobby collected every file connected to Benny – which means everything from Adam. Bobby actually instructed your team to be ready to smuggle him with you if you gave them the green light that obviously never happened."

That seemed to calm Dean down. “Why would Bobby do that?” Dean mumbled. “Have you read it, his files?” Dean looked at Sam inquisitively.

“Yeah, to be honest, he doesn’t deserve what happened to him. Reading his files alone proves that he’s innocent. The sudden recantation of witnesses, his disappearance before his trial, and the biased judgment.” Sam enumerated. “Obviously, those families wanted him to rot in prison. His sudden disappearance probably meant to seize his opportunity to find a good lawyer and those --” Sam was halted by Dean’s hand squeezing his shoulder.

Dean withdrew his hand but didn’t talk; he just smiled gratefully at his brother and turned his attention on the road. They arrived at Maine five hours early – thanks to Sam’s  _driving skills_ , and found a dingy motel to get some sleep.

 

* * *

 

 

The day after, Charlie messaged Dean about the address of the previous owner of the docks – Paul Lumbers. Dean went to the address to arrange a meeting while Sam went to the library to read local articles about the docks and the Kormos, Sam also researched something Bobby requested. Dean received a call informing him that the meeting would be scheduled Thursday morning. Both Sam and Dean disguised themselves as tv journalist, researching about the history of the docks and fishing companies.

Discovering that Paul sold the ownership of the docks twenty years ago – the same year as Benny's imprisonment, and the owner was one of his longest clients, Dean asked the reason of his _early_  retirement. Paul explained that selling the place to the Kormos was like an apology for the death of their daughter and he couldn't help but felt guilty that something like that happened under his nose. Though Paul didn’t work at the docks anymore, he had his occasional visits to the docks and informed the brothers about the current system.

The Kormos Co. supplied most markets and restaurants got their fresh ingredients there – even the famous ones. The new administrator was the son of Kormos longest business partner – Old Man was his nickname at the docks, Paul remembered him well because of a certain man – Benny – once worked for his father twenty years ago. ‘Old Man’ owned most of the cargo ships at the Kormos Co. and handled the transferring of goods from one dock to another. Sam and Dean finished the  _interview_  with questions about life at the docks to avoid suspicion.

After a week of being denied of meeting the administrator of the docks for an interview, which was almost impossible because most people wanted to be seen on tv, the brothers did some covert operation at the docks and gathered information for a week, though they couldn't do it thoroughly without risking any suspicion. Both of them searched for ‘receipts' attached to the cargos and snooped around at night to check the contents of each cargo. They updated the office about the information of the cargo where they found drugs hidden inside carcasses of pigs ready to be delivered to a famous restaurant.

Two weeks had passed since they arrived at Maine and Bobby informed the brothers to come back at the office. Dean insisted to stop at the diner he’d seen at the outskirt of town when they first arrived and Sam approved. As they entered the diner, a familiar spicy smell invaded Dean’s nostrils, they’d eaten in a few different diners but this place felt different in a good way.

A blond waitress handled them the menu and Sam turned his attention to Dean, expecting him to flirt with the waitress like the old times but _again_ , Dean didn’t. Sam knew that Dean was already smitten about that Benny guy but it felt weird for him not seeing his brother flirt to gain extra portion of food.  _What the hell happened?_ What Sam didn't know, it was a different person who made his brother stopped flirting, and it's not Benny.

Looking at the menu, Dean realized that the diner had a southern theme – as if the ambiance didn't give that already, and what stroke him the most was the catfish. "I'll have the Cajun catfish." He announced at the waitress, shocking Sam in front of him. “And a bacon cheeseburger.” He mentally palmed his face after those words escaped his mouth and immediately flipped the menu if they actually had some bacon cheeseburger. They did. Sam ordered seafood pasta and something Dean couldn't even pronounce.

When their food arrived, Dean focused on his burger and made a graphic sound after the first bite, earning attention from other customers. A brunette next to their table eyed Dean while he bit his burger – amused how Dean halved the thing in record time.

“You remind me of someone.” The brunette drawled at Dean next to their table. The southern drawl caught Dean’s attention and looked at her, chipmunking the burger in his cheeks, slowly savoring the burger. “Not someone I know directly, but my friend can’t stop talkin’ about him.” She smiled and turned her attention to Sam. “Is he always like that, moaning while he eats?”

Sam snorted. “Yeah, he does that a lot.” He looked at his brother, shook his head a little and shifted his body to look at the woman.

Swallowing his food, Dean waved at his little brother. “Ugh, I’m here!” Dean exclaimed but Sam paid him no attention.

“How did he remind you of someone?” Sam humored, grabbing a fish stick from his plate.

The woman rested her head on her hand, elbow on the table. “Well, he -” She pointed at Dean, “- looked exactly how  _he_  described his friend. Green eyes, light brown hair, tall, and freckles.” She enumerated.

"But many guys have those features," Sam said, finishing his fish stick and grabbing another one.

“Yeah, but moaning while eating fits the bill.” She beamed at Dean. “Oh, I’m sorry; I’m Elizabeth by the way.”

 _Elizabeth_. Dean whipped his head towards the woman. “What’s the name of someone I remind you of?” Dean asked.

“ _Dean_ , why?” She answered slowly. With wide eyes, she placed both her hands in her mouth. “Don’t tell me you’re Dean. The Dean. Are you also here to see Benny to be discharged?”

 _Fuck, Benny, How can I forget?_  Dean hated himself about forgetting about Benny. He’d been busy for the last couple of days and he forgot to call Garth. Standing abruptly, Dean excused himself and headed towards the bathroom. He called Garth to confirm Benny’s discharge, Garth answered not without scolding Dean for not calling soon – he couldn't call Dean, that maybe they were working undercover. Garth confirmed that Benny would be discharged in three days. Dean apologized and thanked Garth for the situation before he hanged up.

Exiting the bathroom, Dean saw Elizabeth sitting on their table talking to Sam; he walked towards their table and grunted to get Elizabeth’s attention. He offered his hand for a handshake before introducing himself. “Hi, I’m Dean. Dean Winchester. And I’m sorry about earlier.” Taking a seat next to her, Dean continued eating his burger.

“Well, nice to meet you, Dean. It’s fine. Sam and I were just talkin’ about how you  _really_  liked Benny.” She punctuated with a teasing tone; making Dean glare at Sam as though he got betrayed gossiping about his life. “Benny told me how he thought that your brother was a girl because you talked in your sleep.” Dean noticed how Sam bit his cheek to hide his smile from across the table. "He remembered that night vividly. I tried to ask him why but I got nothin'."

A blush was threatening to creep from Dean’s neck, he also remembered that night and blamed the alcohol of what he did, but he knew, deep inside, that it was all him. Elizabeth told them that she visited Benny after receiving his message last week, and would be staying in a motel while waiting for his discharge. Dean noticed how talkative Elizabeth was, making most of the conversation in their table.  _She’s like Benny_. Dean thought as they part ways.

“You know, you can ditch me and go to Benny, right?” Sam asked but sounded like a statement, sitting in the passenger seat looking at Dean, while they were half an hour away from Maine.

“I still got time and Bobby needed us there.” Dean deadpanned, focusing on the road with his speed that almost illegal contradicted his words, but Sam didn’t say anything about it.

Still looking at Dean, concern was now mixed in his eyes. “Want me to drive later so you could rest? I know you’ll bolt the moment you dropped me at the station, Dean.” Sam offered. Dean only nodded, knuckles turning white as he gripped the steering wheel hard. “I’m proposing to Jess, after this.” Sam declared eyes on the road while glancing at Dean for a response.

With that, Dean slowed down to look at his little brother with pride in his eyes. "Finally," Dean exclaimed, "You planning on something romantic?" Dean teased wiggling his eyebrows.

Sam smiled sheepishly as he looked down and played with the car seat. “Well, I’ll be borrowing Bobby’s boat and I’ll do it there.”

“I’m sensing you already got a ring.” Dean poked at Sam, wanting to know if his suspicion was right. Sam fumbled in his jacket trying to fish something out. A few seconds later, Sam produced a small box and presented it to Dean. He opened the box with one hand and gaped at the ring. “Was this mom’s?” The ring their Dad wore in his neck that Dean never seen taken off since the death of their Mom.

“Yeah, Dad gave it to me after I graduated and he discovered that Jess and I were still together.”

“So, you finally had forgiven him, huh.”

"I was never mad at him, Dean. I was just young and stupid. We're both on good terms before the accident happened." Sam confessed as Dean returned the ring. His brother just smiled at him after realizing that their family was not that broken after all. Sam adjusted in his seat to sleep before his turn to drive Dean halfway towards Sioux Falls.

Dean was smiling – blinking fast to chase away the threatening tear to fall in his eyes, feeling good how his life at that moment felt right after the things that happened to him a few months ago. The job was almost done – he could feel it, Sam proposing to Jess and having a baby, knowing that their father made peace with Sam before the accident, and Benny getting discharge. _Benny_. Dean remembered and hit the gas, wanting to drop Sam at the station as soon as possible, he didn’t want to admit it but he missed Benny already. Dean hummed  _Hey Jude_ and drummed his fingers while he’s driving, he didn’t notice it but Sam did when he started singing passionately at the chorus.


	8. Something with Coffee

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This in my longest chapter so far because of something. *wink wink*  
> And thank you very much for reading. :)

Dean was awoken by Sam after arriving at the station. Dean immediately looked at his watch and saw they arrived three hours earlier – dreading how many traffic violation his brother did. Ready to drive back to Maine, Dean stretched his sore body as Sam exited the car. Sam nodded at him before turning his back to enter the building, he saw Sam froze at the door just as he was about to exit the car. Quite curious, Dean slouched down in his seat, making himself small to hide, as he observed what was happening at the door. _Fuck, it’s Bobby_. Dean maneuvered his body from the passenger seat towards the driver’s seat. His effort was futile as he saw Bobby pointed at him and started walking slowly towards the car.

Taking a deep breath, Dean got out of the car; he was greeted by a welcoming hug by his foster father that he gladly reciprocated. “Do you have time for a cup of coffee?” Bobby asked Dean as they parted, “Ellen brought pie an hour ago, and it’s still warm.” Bobby added. Ellen, Bobby’s wife, fed Dean and Sam every time their father left them for work.

Dean suddenly brightened up after hearing the word pie, though he knew it was Bobby’s second weapon for him to talk – alcohol being the first. “Sure.” Dean tried to sound defeated but the little bounce he made while walking said otherwise. “We have whipped cream?” He asked, mimicking Sam’s puppy eyes but failing miserably.

Chuckling lowly, Bobby shook his head no. "Charlie has an ice cream stashed somewhere though." Bobby offered.

When Dean entered the building, he hugged Sam goodbye as his brother was about to exit the station after grabbing his keys, going home to Jess. Dean said to kiss Jess and the baby for him before running towards Charlie’s secret food compartment.

Dean was about to start his third slice of pie when Bobby started. “So, you really liked him. Benny?” Bobby asked but almost sounded like a statement to Dean’s ear.

Settling down his plate at the table, Dean grabbed his coffee before nodding and avoiding Bobby’s eyes. He heard Bobby grunted to get his attention and voice out his answer. Locking eyes with Bobby, Dean thought what he really felt about Benny before answering, unsure of the answer, he voiced out what all he knew. “I don’t know Bobby, but after meeting him… I always thought I was the unluckiest man, but there he was who literally has nothing, denied of something better and he made me appreciate things I didn’t know I have. He didn’t deserve what happened to him, Bobby. I just… I care about him… I want him to be happy.”

“And you think you can make him happy?” Dean shrugged and looked at the floor. “Is that what you want? What about your happiness boy?” Bobby stood up from his seat to sit beside his son and hugged him with one arm. "I… We want you to be happy, Dean. I don't want you to hide things from me. I don't want this to be the same as the other one. You hear me." Bobby shook Dean to emphasize.

 _My happiness? Benny made me happy_. Dean had a great time inside the prison as though he was not working undercover, even before the alcohol that changed their relationship. He’d felt something growing inside of him whenever Benny smiled at him, whenever he got lost in those bright blue eyes as though he was drowning, and the way Benny understood him without voicing out what he thought. Dean was not even considering how attractive Benny was. What he knew was he loved spending time with him. Love. _Do I love him?_ Dean thought. He used to love spending time with Castiel, he also used to love the way Castiel smiled at him, his blue eyes, and their silent understandings. But what made Benny differently?

Dean’s thoughts were halted when Bobby squeezed his shoulder. “You hid it and look what happened. _He_ made you believe that we don’t accept people like you. _He_ made you think it’s not alright.” Bobby started rubbing Dean’s back, trying to soothe the man he knew being tensed after hearing about the past he didn’t want to talk about. “We’re all here, Dean. If something happened, talk to us. Or at least talk to Charlie, she’s really good at that.”

That’s it. Dean knew that Benny would never do that to him, that man was selfless as if he’s not that important – Dean hated that – like Dean himself. Benny didn’t have much but he’s willing to risk it all. Dean knew he was very important to Benny, and Benny took the leap of faith and risked their precious friendship when he pinned Dean against the wall. But Castiel? When Bobby caught them kissing in this very kitchen, the first thing he did was push Dean off him and ran away.

Gathering his conclusion, Dean thought of Benny to gain some courage and faced Bobby who was expecting an answer from him. “I think I love him, Bobby," Dean whispered, playing the hem of his shirt.

“You love him?” Bobby's voice boomed in the small kitchen, tiles amplifying the sound, making Dean shrank in Bobby's arm and look on the floor. “Don’t you think it’s little too soon?” Bobby toned down. “And if it’s love what you’re feeling about that man... only time will tell.” Bobby grabbed Dean’s plate and shoved it back to his hand. “And let me tell you something, boy. Love’s not like the fairytales you read on books. You work hard for it and it’s not all rainbows and daisies.” Bobby stood up from his seat and started rummaging through the cupboards. “Where the fuck is the alcohol when you need it. I'm not prepared for this kind of talk." Prepared meant drunk, Dean thought.

A small chuckle escaped Dean, watching Bobby got flustered like that cheered him up. All Bobby ever wanted was the best for his family and after what happened to his past relationship, he’d been keeping an eye on Dean. When Sam informed him about Bobby collecting files about Benny, he knew Bobby meant well when he performed a _background check_.

Settling down his coffee and spreading the ice cream in his pie, Dean asked. “What do I need to do, Bobby?”

Bobby leaned back on the sink, giving up searching alcohol – knowing too well that alcohol was not allowed inside their office. "For starters, enjoy your day with him," Garth informed Bobby that Dean and Benny only had a day to spend, Elizabeth; Benny’s cousin would help him rejoin society. Bobby didn’t know if Dean already knew that information and he didn’t want to be the one popping his son’s bubble.

Dean nodded and the room went silent as Dean ate his pie. After polishing his plate, Dean stood up and gave Bobby a bear hug. "I'll be back before you know it," Dean assured Bobby.

“You still got plenty time, so please get some sleep. Take that for the road.” Bobby pointed at the pie resting at the window. "And promise me that you won't go the courthouse, no matter how much you wanted to see him, okay. Just wait outside or contact Garth." Dean nodded and walked towards the window to grab the pie. "Drive safe, okay."

Dean would. He knew how Bobby became paranoid about driving after what happened to his father. "Update me whenever," Dean said. Giving Bobby a one arm hug, he rubbed the back before breaking away.

 

* * *

 

Leaning beside the Impala, Dean parked the car beside Elizabeth’s truck. Though tired and body’s still sore, Dean was glad he slept that evening to watch Benny escorted into the courthouse that morning. Dean spent his time remembering where he and Sam ate last week where he knew Benny would love the coffee. After an hour of staring blankly at Google maps, he surrendered and texted Sam instead.

After saving the address on his phone, Dean received a message from Garth, informing him that Benny would walk outside the court as a free man in two minutes. Dean shut his phone off and hid inside the Impala – just as planned – to wait for Benny. In exactly two minutes, Benny walked outside the building and Garth handed him his belongings from the prison – including the damn guitar Dean never seen touched by the man, and started walking towards in his direction. Dean assumed. Dean saw Garth gave him an okay signal just as Elizabeth pointed at the Impala and whispered something in Benny’s ear.

Dean saw it, the way Benny’s eyes widened as Elizabeth pulled away. Handling his guitar to Elizabeth and dropping everything at the ground, Benny jogged towards the Impala. Dean was instructed to wait Benny enter his car, but Garth’s signal was probably meant that the coast was clear, so Dean exited the car. Both men stood frozen a few meters apart before running towards into each other's arms. Dean hugged Benny tight as though he’ll drown if he let go, scenting Benny’s cheap soap he’d never imagined he’d miss as hell before he loosened the hug to look at Benny’s breathtaking blue eyes – glazed by unshed tears.

Raising a hand to wipe the stray tear in Benny’s cheek, Dean’s eyes dropped to see Benny’s lower lip trembling and all he wanted to do in that moment was to chase it away with a kiss. _Oh, fuck it_. Though inappropriate, Dean leaned forward and gave Benny a chaste kiss, expecting that it would stop the trembling. It did, but Benny lost it. Tears started to pour in Benny’s eyes and clung to Dean for his dear life. “I’m free, chief.” Benny choked while sobbing as he tried to even his breathing. Dean didn’t answer. He was never been good with words, so he just hugged Benny as tight as possible, shoulder wet with tears, and started to rub Benny’s back soothingly to calm his big sap of a man. _His_. Dean thought. _Yes, his own big sap_.

“Umm, hello?” Elizabeth’s voice broke their moment. Both men parted, chuckling a little, Dean helped Elizabeth load Benny’s things in her truck while Benny sloppily wiped the tears with his sleeves. “I’ll see you both later, okay," Elizabeth said apologetically, knowing too well that both men needed to part ways later, as she entered the truck. Standing beside each other, Dean and Benny watched Elizabeth maneuvered the truck away.

“I’m sorry about this, Dean.” Benny sniffled, pointing at the wet spot on Dean’s shoulder.

Dean shrugged. “That’s okay, Benny.” Putting a hand on Benny's back, Dean herded him into the passenger seat. "I know you're hungry.”

“I like your car.” Benny complimented as he entered the car, taking off his coat. “I know a place where we can eat.” He said while Dean started the engine.

Throwing away his plan to eat at the diner that served the amazing coffee, Dean nodded in agreement and thanked Benny for the compliment. "Thanks, this beauty never lets me down. I need to go somewhere, she's there." Dean caressed the dashboard fondly, earning him a low chuckle from Benny.

 

* * *

 

While glancing discretely to Benny, Dean saw the confusion in his eyes. He knew Benny felt like an alien, a time traveler, or a ghost of past memory, as they tracked the streets of Maine. The way Benny held his breath before every turn and the way he gawked at the buildings, Dean knew how that felt like. He remembered returning to Kansas, his hometown, after twenty-six years when his father died to gather old documents at the state. But in Benny's case, he’s like Marty McFly, literally shocked at the changes that happened in the place he once knew.

“You know what,” Benny suddenly said in the passenger seat, “you pick the place to eat. I don’t remember this place anymore.” Benny laughed weakly.

There’s a hint of sadness in Benny’s laugh but Dean didn’t say anything about it – but a great food might cheer Benny up. So, he took a turn and remembered the familiar street – the place with the amazing coffee he knew Benny would love. Parking his car outside of a random building, Dean tensed up after realizing where he parked. _Fucking Starbucks. Benny might think this is where I wanted to treat him_. Dean nervously thought. Having no place else to park, Dean looked at Benny and jerked his head, gesturing to exit the car.

Dean locked the car and saw how the patrons eyed him, Benny and the car. Some nodded their approval as though he and Benny would fit in well in their hipster coffee cult. Dean noticed a woman focusing her attention on Benny. He knew that look. He did that in the past, the look where he mentally undresses the person.

Feeling possessive, Dean stood closer to Benny, who was currently wearing a henley shirt one size smaller for him exposing his glorious chest and sculpting his big arms, coat neatly folded in his hand. Dean heard Benny took a deep breath, inhaling the aroma coming from the coffee shop. Describing himself as old-fashioned, Dean liked his coffee black with a little sugar, but Benny might want something more extravagant than that, so swallowing his irrational fear – for Benny’s sake – Dean pulled Benny inside the shop to experience _real coffee_.

Treading the foreign territory, Dean felt pretentious as he observed the shop. _Is that a typewriter?_ Dean’s judgmental train of thoughts was halted when he felt Benny’s soft firm hand – quite contradicting his burly appearance – clutching his hand. Turning his head to face Benny, Dean saw Benny’s sheepish smile and a small blush in his ear. _I can do this_. Dean motivated himself and fall in line at the counter.

“ _Can I get a triple, venti, soy, half sweet, no foam latte please?_ ” Dean heard a girl in front.

Confused, Dean looked at Benny who was also looking confused at him. Beads of sweat started to form on his forehead when the line started to move. He felt Benny squeezed his hand to get his attention. _You okay?_ Benny mouthed at him. He nodded yes, but the way he nodded stiffly said otherwise.

“ _Grande, quad, nonfat, one-pump, no-whip, mocha._ ” A young man obnoxiously ordered.

 _What the fuck, is that coffee language?_ Dean was unaware that he and Benny were now in the front of the counter. The cashier was smiling sweetly at them. When Dean noticed that the cashier was talking, he didn’t catch any of it because she talked faster than how Dean’s brain process what he’s hearing.

“I uh… we… uhh… coffee?” Dean stuttered dumbly.

Smiling patiently, the cashier flicked her eyes between them. “Coffee?” She asked.

“I uh…” Dean repeated.

Benny, bless his soul, saved Dean’s misery and excused them, pulling Dean away from the counter. “Want to get out of here?” He offered, already herding Dean towards to front door, both hands on Dean’s shoulder.

“Fuck, yes.” Dean breathed out.

Standing outside the coffee shop, both men giggled like middle school girls at the unexpected result of Dean’s first Starbucks barely experience. “Well, that was a disaster, chief.”

“Yeah, that was the most humiliating thing I ever did, and I’m sorry I can’t buy you coffee from that shop.”

“Those were coffee?” Benny questioned. “Even that pink stuff?” Wearing his coat, Benny tipped his head to point at the pink beverage resting on the table.

Dean shrugged and started walking towards the diner. “I don’t know, so don’t ask me.” Dean reached for Benny’s hand and intertwined their fingers together. “How ‘bout some regular coffee? I know a place when Sam and I were researching here.”

“Sure.” Benny beamed at Dean and controlled the pace of their steps, cherishing the small intimacy.

When Benny abruptly stopped, Dean looked at the Benny and saw how his eyes light up like a child on Christmas morning; Benny was staring at the same diner he and Sam ate last week. Curious, Dean had to ask. “Is that the place you know?”

“Yup, I used to work there. It was the best diner here in Maine.” Benny said proudly. “Don’t tell me this is where you’re planning to treat me.” Benny teased.

“Yeah, I just thought that you’ll love their coffee.” Smiling, Dean blurted out. “And they served the best burger here, I know because I tasted them all.”

“Of course it’s the best. That patty recipe was mine.” Benny winked at Dean and pulled him towards the diner. Marveling the beautiful man holding his hand, Dean knew he didn’t regret accepting the drug job and how lucky he felt meeting Benny inside the prison.

 

* * *

 

 

While waiting for their order to arrive, Dean and Benny shared a plate of fries. Though both men were old, Dean and Benny felt young as they fed each other – mostly Benny feeding Dean. It's been a while since Benny did this, and he missed it a lot, Dean, on the other hand, never experience the ‘dating' part of dating.

“Is this a date?” Benny asked, looking at Dean, his brilliant blue eyes glimmering with hope as he dipped a fry in catsup.

 _Of course, it's a date_. “What do you think?” _Please don’t let me be the one to say it, Benny_. Dean opened his mouth when Benny stretched his hand and offered the catsup covered fry.

Grabbing a fry, Benny tilted his head adorably. “Well, if it’s a date. I just want you to know I don’t put out on first dates.” Benny teased, popping the fry in his mouth, slowly chewing it to show his perfect white teeth. “So, are we exclusives now?” Benny questioned, dipping the fry in catsup before popping it into his mouth.

Dean’s heart almost skipped a beat. Benny put the ball in his court. _Damnit, Benny_. “We’ll be whatever you wanted.” Dean smiled, feeling satisfied.

Reaching out to grab Dean’s hand, Benny thumbed the back of the hand. “If I said I wanted you to be mine and mine alone," Benny said seriously with a hint of begging in his voice, eyes fogged with fear of rejection.

Standing slowly, hands still locked, Dean leaned forward and gave Benny a chaste kiss on the lips. “Then I'm all yours." Watching Benny's eyes brighten up, Dean sat, grabbed a few fries and shoved it into Benny's gaping mouth. Benny tried to chew the fries hastily to speak up but Dean saved him the effort, squeezing the hand, Dean nodded with apprehension. “I know, Benny.”

On verge of tears, Benny cleared his throat and scratched the back of his head. “So, what’s your favorite color?” Benny joked, voice cracking, coaxing the threatening tears away.

Both men rediscovered each other while were eating their lunch, exchanging ‘first date’ questions. Benny learned how big of a dork Dean was. While Benny being Benny made a huge revelation. Dean’s eyes widened when Benny confessed that it was his first time when he sucked Dean’s cock, he couldn't believe it was Benny’s first time, considering how amazing it was and just thinking about it made his cock hard.

Benny noticed how Dean shifted in his seat, licking his lips; Benny leaned forward bracing his weight in his elbows. “I know I’d said it earlier, _cher_.” Benny drawled – Dean just admitted he loved his accent. “I don’t put out on first dates.” He teased.

Cheeks red, Dean regretted saying that he loved Benny’s accent. Now, Benny was using it to push his buttons in every right way. Thinking of something to counter Benny’s move, suddenly, his phone rang. He made a gesture to let Benny know that he needed a moment to look at his phone, Benny, still smiling, nodded his permission. Bobby's name flashed on the screen. Bobby was calling him. It’ll be rude if he answered the phone but Dean knew that Benny would understand. _Enjoy your day with him_. Dean heard Bobby’s voice in his head. Knowing too well that Bobby would never call him in his special day if it’s not important; Dean declined the call and pocketed his phone. _I’m sorry, Bobby. I’ll be selfish for once_.

Dean smiled at Benny – boner was totally forgotten – and grabbed his coffee. He was about to sip his coffee when his phone started to ring again. Slowly setting down his coffee, Dean fished out his phone once again. Ready to decline Bobby’s call, Benny made an inquisitive grunt across the table, making Dean unaware that he swiped in a different direction. Dean set the _silent_ phone down on the table, screen face down, as he looked at Benny – oblivious that he accidentally answered.

“What’s that?” Benny pointed at the phone.

Flicking his eyes from the phone and Benny, Dean shrugged. “It’s a phone.” Dean realized two seconds later that Benny might’ve never seen a mobile phone.

"Huh, it's small," Benny commented. "Phones back then had wires and not portable like that one," Benny said innocently, sounding like a child and an old man at the same time. “So, things changed a lot in twenty years huh.”

A crack in Benny’s voice broke not only Dean’s heart but also the people listening on the other side of the phone. “Come on Benny, it’ll take some time but you’ll get used to the changes.” Dean encouraged – though even himself was not sure if Benny would be fine with the changes.

The waitress came and served them their dessert. Dean ordered cinnamon apple pie while Benny a banana split. The two scoops of ice cream in Benny’s dessert were arranged in an odd way. Dean shook the dirty thoughts away and asked Benny something about French. “Hey, Ben, what does _cher_ mean?” Cutting a piece of his pie, Dean savored the pastry.

Seeing Dean moan like that warmed Benny's heart – in a good way, making him forget why he was sad in the first place. "It's an endearment," Benny said, a small blush creeping in his cheeks.

"I like it," Dean admitted, though he was never a fan of the cheesy stuff, his actions said otherwise – feeding Benny a piece of his pie.

A loud commercial coming from the television behind the counter took the attention of both men and other patrons. It was a campaign commercial. A guy named Dick Roman was running for reelection as a Governor. The commercial lasted or almost three minutes and Dean thought how rich the guy was to pay for that long advertising campaign. Tearing away his eyes from the television, Dean saw how Benny slouched in his seat, eyes looking down.

Dean reached Benny’s hand to get his attention. “What wrong?” Eyebrows creasing, Dean’s feature was full of concern.

Benny’s eyes were gray when he faced Dean. “Do you remember Andrea?”

 

* * *

  

Dessert forgotten, Benny told Dean everything about Andrea, oblivious that the phone was still on, listening to the conversation of two men. Benny started how he met Andrea at the port of Portland, Maine and how she ran away from her family. Andrea was arranged to marry Dick Roman, the governor, to make their family richer and more famous. She hated everything and found Benny. Obviously, she was found by Dick, wanting to fight back, she threatened Dick that she’ll expose the family business – Benny wasn’t sure what their business was – and call the police. She told Benny everything that’s happened the day before she was murdered, and the rest was history.

Dean put two and two together and realized that Dick Roman was behind Benny’s imprisonment together with the parents of Andrea, blaming him for her death. No wonder Benny spent twenty years of his life in prison and didn’t get exonerated even though he was clearly innocent of the crime. Two rich families against a piss poor seventeen-year-old. _Dick Roman_. Dean’s blood boiled after hearing the truth. Benny lost twenty years of his life, while that _monster_ was walking freely, using poor people as an escape goat of his crimes.

Angry at the unfair justice system of the world, Dean pocketed his phone and pulled Benny up after leaving enough money to cover their bill – Dean didn’t forget to tip generously even though he’s angry, Dean knew no words could cheer _his boyfriend_ up after retelling his unfortunate past. Well, thinking about Benny as his boyfriend calmed him down. Determined to comfort Benny, he ignored Benny’s rule of _not putting out on first dates_ extravaganza as he drove the Impala somewhere secluded near a bridge.

As a man of the law himself, Dean knew what he was thinking was illegal and the chance of being caught was high – considering it was midday, but his stubborn head wanted Benny to forget. He thought that alcohol might help, but it might worsen Benny and evolved into a sobbing mess, so he opted for the second best which was _sex_. Dean hadn't done it before – with a man, hell, he didn't care if Benny would be his first time. He trusted the man with all his heart – yes his heart – and he knew Benny would be patient with him.

The fear of getting caught and what might happen turned Dean on. Benny, looking at him confusedly, asked. “What are we doing here, cher?” His voice was flat, almost emotionless. Dean responded by grabbing Benny’s face from the driver seat and capturing Benny’s lips with his. The kiss was firm but tender, Dean leaned back to look at Benny, whose eyes returned from its breathtaking color and lips curling upward into a smirk. _That was easy_. Dean thought. “I told you, cher. I’m not--” Dean silenced him with another kiss, only this time, it was heated.

Benny returned the kiss enthusiastically, grabbing the back of Dean’s head, tipping it to deepen the kiss. Benny opened his mouth when he felt Dean’s probing tongue and sucked it, moaning at the taste of coffee and cinnamon from Dean’s dessert. Thinking back about his forgotten dessert, Benny smiled in the kiss.

“What?” Dean gasped, catching his breath.

Kissing the side of Dean’s mouth, Benny whispered in Dean’s ear. “I reckon I didn’t touch my dessert earlier and I didn’t expect that I’ll get something sweeter.”

A shiver traveled in the base of Dean’s spine when he heard the last part. Dean captured Benny's lips again and kissed him hungrily. Dean's hand traveled from Benny's shoulders to his chest and fumbling blindly at the belt of Benny’s pants. Dean felt a firm hand stopping his hands from moving and another hand on his chest, trying to push him away. Wanting to know what was wrong; Dean paused and looked at Benny – eyes fogged with lust. “Please, let me, Benny.”

Benny conceded – resolve broken down by Dean’s doe eyes – and nipped Dean’s neck, tongue dipping at the hollow of Dean’s throat, a guttural groan escaped Deans mouth as he was fumbling with Benny’s belt. After successfully taking off Benny’s belt, Dean unbuttoned Benny’s pants and pulled down the zipper, exposing Benny’s black boxers. Stopping the assault in Dean’s neck, Benny looked at Dean’s green eyes, silently asking if he was sure, Benny shimmied down his pants together with the boxers, his erection bobbed up and settled in his abdomen.

The smell of testosterone, dried sweat, and Benny’s cheap soap invaded Dean’s nose, plus the view of Benny’s thick cock made his mouth water and his cock harder. Dean locked eyes with Benny, who leaned back in his seat to relax, mouthing ‘ _take your time_ ’ and let Dean explore. With a shaking hand, Dean closed his fingers around Benny's thick cock, feeling the warm, silky hardness. Dean experimentally stroked the thick shaft, loving how it felt in his hand; he twisted his wrist just right making Benny thrust in his hand.

Dean withdrew his hands to release his own cock from its suffocating confinement before crouching down from the driver seat to _inspect_ closely. Dean reached for Benny’s cock again, thumbing the head and spreading the building precome there. His other hand grabbed Benny’s large balls and rolled it in his hand as he tasted his _wet_ thumb. Hallowing his cheeks, Dean sucked the sweet precome clean from his thumb and it made Benny groan. "Tease," Benny smirked.

Raising his hand to cup Benny’s face, Dean pulled himself up to kiss Benny while his other hand stroked Benny’s thick cock. Dean pumped Benny’s cock in sync with Benny’s thrusts. Swallowing Benny’s moans in his mouth, Dean withdrew his hand, Benny whined at the lost contact and nipped Benny's earlobe. "I want to taste you," Dean whispered, closing his fingers again around Benny’s cock, he leaned down and nuzzled the hair at the base of the shaft – scenting it.

After filling his lungs with Benny’s scent, Dean took a deep breath as he positioned himself in the cramped space between Benny’s thighs. Marveling the thick shaft, Dean experimentally slapped it against his cheeks – just like how girls did it in porn. _He loved it_. The fun part wasn’t even started yet, but he loved it already, he loved everything he was doing with Benny. Dean licked a long wet stripe on the underside of Benny’s thick cock; he kept licking until he reached the huge head, he swirled his tongue around, making Benny tremble on his seat.

Bracing himself, Dean opened his mouth wide before licking the head one last time and locked eyes with Benny’s blue pair. He wanted to see Benny broke, just like how Benny watched him that time, only this time Dean didn’t have enough time to explore Benny’s cock thoroughly but he would do it next time. He closed his lips around the head and watched Benny tipped his head back as he sucked it, hallowing his cheeks. Dean tried to remember how he liked it with girls; he stroked the base of the shaft, his tongue licking what he could lick while sloppily sucking the head.

Dean felt how Benny tried not to thrust into his mouth and he found it endearing – though he already expected it. Taking Benny deeper, Dean adjusted his position, relaxed his throat and breathed through his nose. Dean pulled away when the head poked his throat, he licked the length before swallowing Benny whole, shocked, Dean's eyes widened when he felt hairs hit his nose. “Fuck.” Dean heard Benny moaned. Benny’s thick shaft was fully sheathed in his throat without triggering his gag reflex; he backed away a little to breathe and swallowed Benny again. Moments later, Dean was bobbing his head in sync with his hand's rhythmic movement, making Benny moan with pleasure.

Taking it like a champ, Dean pulled away completely with a pop making Benny look him in the eyes which were dark and full of lust. "Fuck my mouth.” He ordered as he grabbed Benny's both hands and positioned it on his head, their fingers intertwined. Kissing the head first, Dean nodded at Benny before closing his lips around the head. Benny started slowly at first but after he positioned himself at the seat, he started to thrust hard into Dean's mouth, Dean hummed his approval.

Dean’s eyes were watering when Benny started to piston in his mouth, the girth stretching his jaw and the length sliding inside his throat. _Benny’s close_. Dean thought. Reaching his leaking cock, Dean stroked his length matching Benny’s erratic thrusts. “I’m really close, cher.” Benny warned. Dean nodded and slid his lips forward. A few thrusts later, the cock in Dean’s mouth pulsated and then a hot salty liquid with a hint of sweetness filled his mouth. Benny came a lot, come started to drip in Dean’s lips, Dean tried to swallow but he choked on the first try – withdrawing his head, it took at least three tries to down it all. Dean polished the sensitive knob empty one more time and stroked his cock, he followed suit after a few strokes and he spilled in his car.

Dean pulled away from Benny’s softening cock after kissing it fondly. Too sated and knees weak by the orgasm, Benny pulled him up, settling him in his lap and started licking the spilled come from his mouth. ”That was amazing.” Dean sighed, while Benny hummed in agreement. They make out; savoring Benny’s come, as they came down from the high of orgasm.

After tucking themselves, Dean returned from his seat after cleaning his mess and rolled down the window, letting the soft breeze enter the car, though he didn't mind the smell of sex inside his car, Sam might give him a stink eye. He drove Benny around the city; hands locked in the middle of the seats until they saw a carnival. The eyes of both men widened when the smell of buttery popcorn and sweet cotton candy hit their nose – calories were burned after their _activity_.

Hand raised to hide his eyes from the sun, Benny nudged Dean by the shoulder. “I’ll treat you next time, okay.” He grabbed a handful of popcorn Dean was holding and stuffed it in his mouth.

Looking at Benny, Dean noticed how pale the man was, but what concerned him the most was the raised hand blocking the sun. “We are not keeping scores, Benny," Dean said, stuffing his mouth with popcorn as he looked around the stalls. _Bingo_. Dean saw a souvenir shop; he grabbed Benny’s hand and maneuvered him there. Browsing the varieties of sunglasses, Dean picked the one with UV protection for himself; he wore it and faced Benny to get his output. Benny’s eyes were glued to a black fisherman hat that complemented his navy pea coat. “You want that?” Dean asked the obvious.

“Nah.” Benny denied and started browsing the displays, still glancing at the hat.

When Benny’s back was turned away from the hat, Dean studied its price. _$105, No wonder Benny was reluctant to admit that he wanted the hat._ Snatching it from the display, Dean made a noise to get Benny’s attention and he walked towards the cashier – hat hidden in Benny’s view. ”You found what you want?”

“Yep.” Benny handed him a plain sunglasses – the cheapest pair from the display – and stood behind him. “Dean…” Benny whispered.

“I know you want this, okay, so just please, let me.” Dean almost begged in front of the cashier. He reached out to put the hat on top of Benny’s head, who docked a little to help Dean place it properly. After adjusting the hat to his liking, he pulled Benny up, who was blinking his eyes to chase away the threatening tears. Dean kissed his cheek and proceeded to pay for their items.

A few rides later, both men were smiling like idiots; Benny had never been in a carnival before, he was busy working to feed his brother, Dean, on the other hand, did it once, it was Sam's tenth birthday and he they celebrated it in the carnival, making their father worried as hell.

They spend all afternoon eating junk food and playing carnival games. Their Ferris wheel make out session turned into a quick blowjob, Benny on his knees, and Dean exited the ride with weak knees but walked straight as though nothing happened while Benny stifled a laugh when Dean grabbed his arm to find balance.

Though Dean knew Benny was not hungry after eating junk food all afternoon, he still suggested having an early dinner; Benny complied and ordered a light meal while Dean ordered a hearty one, making Benny wondered where all the food were being stored in Dean’s stomach.

After their dinner, Dean drove Benny back to Elizabeth, who’s probably waiting for them. Dean’s hand was resting on top of Benny’s thigh; Benny reached it and kissed the back of Dean’s hand before intertwining their fingers. Content and happy, Dean thought of asking Benny to live with him after the case – if Benny would allow it, though they still have time and a long way to go, he didn't mind if it's really too soon for that kind of commitment.

Stopping in front of a dingy motel where Elizabeth was staying, Dean saw Elizabeth was sitting on the bed of her truck; Dean’s face was cupped by Benny’s soft hands and kissed him firmly. "Come find me, okay?" Benny whispered in his lips before exiting the car, not waiting for him to respond because Benny knew he would.

Watching Benny walk away felt like someone grabbed Dean’s heart and squeezed it like a stress ball, then he remembered that Benny was not aware the existence of mobile phones, so Dean opened a compartment, grabbed a piece of paper and wrote his number. He dashed out from his car and waved his hand to stop Elizabeth from driving away. Running towards the passenger seat, Dean gestured to roll down the window, Benny did. “Buy a phone and call me, okay.” Dean then shoved the paper in Benny’s hand and kissed his boyfriend deeply, ignoring Elizabeth’s giggles from the driver seat.

When the truck was not visible from where Dean was standing, he fished out his phone and cursed himself. He forgot to take a picture of Benny. _Benny will be surprised how technology evolved in twenty years_. Dean thought if he did it earlier, then he remembered how mesmerized Benny was when he saw how phones had changed. _Benny will call me_. Dean assured himself and realized Bobby called him that noon. He dialed Bobby’s number and waited for it to ring.

“ _Dean, why are you callin’? Go spend more time with your Benny._ " Bobby said in a teasing tone.

“Hello to you, too, Bobby. And Benny just left.” _He knew that we’re still working on the case and understood I’m busy_. “Why did you call me earlier?”

“ _O-oh… th-that?_ ” Bobby stuttered, after clearing this throat he continued, “ _I just wanted to inform you that Fergus Crowley regained his consciousness. You and Garth will interview him tomorrow or the day after_ \--”

Bobby’s voice was cut off and it sounded like someone grabbed his phone. Dean heard a woman laughing that sounded like Charlie. “ _Dude, look at your call log and I’ll tell you everything because_ _they heard everything_.”  Charlie was still laughing when she continued. “Bobby just told you everything you needed to do. Go interrogate Crowley and we’ll talk after you come back here.” Another loud laughter giggles and snorts from Charlie, “ _They heard everything, Dean!_ ” Charlie repeated before ending the call.

Confused, Dean looked at his call logs. With eyes dilated with shock, Dean almost dropped his phone and realized what ‘they heard everything’ meant. He accidentally answered the call from Bobby and it lasted for two and a half hours. Dean did some math and concluded that it covered most of his lunch conversation with Benny and his… _Impala activity with Benny_. No wonder Bobby got flustered when Dean mentioned about the call.

Pocketing his phone, Dean prepared himself for future teasing at the station.


	9. Leviathan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not really satisfied about this chapter. It felt rushed and sloppy, I might edit this chapter sometime.  
> Anyway, here you go!

It was the best sleep Dean ever had since forever. He couldn't even believe how sleeping alone in a cold grimy motel – walls stained by who knows what – felt warm and eight hours of sleep can rejuvenate his abused body. Taking off his phone from its charger, he dialed Garth’s number and walked towards the bathroom, as expected the motel didn’t offer hot shower when he turned the knob on and adjusted the temperature. Still waiting for Garth to pick up, Dean rummaged his duffle bag to retrieve his personal kit – containing a toothbrush, toothpaste, razor, shaving cream, and aftershave, fresh underwear, and his neatly folded suit.

“ _Good morning, Dean_ ," Garth answered after the seventh ring, Dean heard some shuffling and a muffled yawn, Garth just woke up but his cheery tone was still there. “ _So, you decided to talk with Crowley today. I’ll contact Rufus ASAP._ ”

“Uh, thanks," Dean said slowly after Garth answered all his unspoken thoughts. “Text me the address and I‘ll meet you there, okay.”

“ _Sure thing, Dean_.” Garth ended the call. Dean was actually expecting him to ask how his and Benny's day went, but Garth knew how to mind people's businesses and Dean appreciated that. Charlie, on the other hand, couldn't and Dean was dreading their _talk_.

After stripping off his boxers and undershirt, Dean stepped into the shower and let the cold spray hit his face. Opening the box of soap the motel offered, Dean remembered Benny because of its minty smell, making the cold water running against his skin felt warm. Dean showered quickly, did his business and suited up before he went to the address of the hospital Garth texted where Fergus was confined.

Arriving at the hospital, Dean saw something impossible that he'll never imagine. Rufus, the grumpy old agent, was smiling as he interacted with other nurses, keeping his character intact like a professional, but it made Dean uncomfortable as hell.

“Mr. Winchester,” Rufus greeted, his smile may convince everyone but not Dean, those calculative eyes were looking at him as though he knew what he did yesterday. “We are informed that you have a scheduled _visit_ with Mr. Crowley. Doctor Fitzgerald will accompany you later, so please take a seat.” _Doctor Fitzgerald, Garth's a dentist right. Eh, whatever_. Dean amusedly thought and sat where Rufus pointed.

Dean only waited a couple of minutes when he saw Garth trotting his way towards him. Stopping in front of him, he stood up; Garth flipped at the clipboard he was holding and furrowed his eyebrows as if he was thinking hard. "Mr. Winchester, please follow me," Garth instructed as he turned around not waiting for Dean's response.

Leading his towards the end of the hospital wing, Dean noticed most the nurses chatting on the hallway were all Rufus’ subordinates, though they acted like normal nurses, Dean saw how they paused merely a second to give both him and Garth an apprehending glances. After reaching the last room, Garth opened the door and jerked his head towards the room. Rufus was there, who was writing something on the clipboard attached at the end of the bed. Excusing himself after doing his thing, Rufus exited the room.

“Squirrel, you missed me already?" Fergus teased, his voice was raspy because of his injured throat. "What’s with you? Why were eyes twinkling just like when…” Fergus trailed off, “You had sex!” Fergus coughed and winced at the pain. “Wow, I thought you had a thing with Grizzly back there. Never thought you’d move on so fast.” Giving Dean a disapproving look, Fergus shook his head and clicked his tongue.

Dean heard Garth stifling a laugh behind his back but he brushed everything off and went down to business. He explained mostly everything to Fergus for him to talk, hesitant at first, Fergus conceded after asking a favor from the department to transfer his mother to a different nursing home. Turning the recorder on from his phone, Dean started asking questions.

“And why is Dick Roman a part of this?” Dean asked after thirty minutes of why Fergus was sent to prison, the way the name rolled off his tongue felt like acid.

“He’s a loan _shark,_ the _big boss_. He loaned me the money I needed for my business and when I can’t pay-up anymore, he did things to bankrupt my business, mostly badmouthing me to my clients and they sued me.” Fergus was breathing heavily; his state was never good for an interview.

“So, no drugs?”

“I don’t know, I was only instructed to pass the letters I was receiving to _pay_ my debts. That’s all I know.”

“Edgar, do you know who Edgar is?” Dean asked without looking away from the clipboard where he scribbled Fergus’ answers.

“Well, he’s working directly under Roman, he’s the one who did the dirty work, and you know, the one who collects the money. Met him once when I failed to pay on time.”

Dean nodded and wrote it down. Thinking that he learned enough, he stood up from his seat and offered his hand for Fergus to shook. Fergus looked at his hand and repeated what he wanted about his mother’s situation before shaking the hand.

Exiting the room, Dean jerked when he heard Garth’s voice beside him. “So, you had a thing with Benny back there huh.” Garth teased. “You know, we are instructed to keep our eyes on him, and believe me, Dean, he’s miserable when you left.”

 _What the hell, who instructed them to watch Benny?_ “Who gave you the order?” The image of Benny alone in their cell flashed in his eyes. Dean closed his eyes shut and remembered how Benny smiled at him after wearing the hat. _He’s free, Dean_. He reminded himself. Opening his eyes, Dean turned his head to face Garth. Garth made a gesture with his hand zipping his mouth closed and smiled at Dean. _Bastard_. Knowing Garth, Dean knew he would never make Garth spill the beans, so they walked in silence until they reached the front door of the hospital.

“’I’ll contact Bobby to say you’re done here. We’ll also squeeze more information from Crowley.” Garth waved Dean goodbye and returned to the building.

Dean prepared himself for another long drive as he ignited the engine of his car.

 

* * *

 

After a long twenty-four hour drive, Dean arrived in their station past midnight. He was greeted by Bobby at the door and Charlie behind him making a thumbs up and smiling widely at him. Bobby shoved Charlie away as he herded Dean at the sleeping quarters to get some shut-eye.

The smell of frying bacon wafted inside the station. “I’m up.” Dean thought out loud. Looking at his watch, Dean was shocked that he slept seven hours straight. It felt weird to Dean now that he realized that he had been sleeping without waking up at night. Back then, he used alcohol to fall asleep, the prison schedule might have fixed his sleeping problem.

Dean was greeted by Pamela, shoving a cup of coffee in his hand and pointed at the table. He saw Charlie stuffing some scrambled eggs in her mouth and waving a sausage while wiggling her eyebrows teasingly. _Ugh_. Dean forgot about their talk. Charlie would use her special black magic combined with her silver tongue to convince Dean to tell everything. _Use it in interrogating suspects, not friends, Charlie_. Dean telepathically said to Charlie.

Bobby turned around after finishing the last batch of bacon and placing it in the middle of the table; he grabbed four pieces of toast and tossed it in bacon grease. “Mornin’.” Bobby greeted, leaning the small of his back against the sink; he saluted Dean by tipping his coffee mug. Dean nodded his appreciation and snatched a piece of bacon; he munched it happily while grabbing a plate from the dishwasher.

After finishing their breakfast, Bobby started an impromptu meeting at the dining table. Dean dashed inside the sleeping quarters to get his notes and ran back at the kitchen. The topic the four of them discussed first was the stabbing incident at the prison. Dean flipped through his notes and played his recording of Fergus’ interview to inform them that Edgar was associated with Dick Roman that Pamela confirmed and briefed them about Edgar’s background.

The topic of the nursing home where the letters were coming from was also tackled. Dean replayed the record where Fergus said that the nursing home was funded by Dick Roman. Charlie jumped in her chair comically and opened her laptop. She showed an article about the ribbon cutting event of the nursing home building and zoomed in the picture where Dick Roman was holding the giant scissors. Using her superb Googling skill, she found out that Dick Roman used the name _Richard_ as an alias in every charity events.

Victor entered the room loud enough to get the attention of four people in the kitchen, halting their meeting. He crossed the room and put a hand on Dean's shoulder. "Dean! I've never thought you'd swing that way. You know, if you came out early I might've let you do me and give you some pointers."

Embarrassment from Victor’s first comment evaporated from Dean after hearing the last part. Dean didn’t know if what he was feeling was disgust or anger. Maybe it was a combination of the two. And the way Victor's hand lingered on his shoulder made him nauseous. He saw Bobby’s hand closing from his peripheral vision, knuckles turning white.

"We don't allow that kind of behavior inside the office, Victor," Pamela stated calmly, the hint of disgust was obvious in her tone. “I hope you know that what you’re doing is an act of sexual harassment.”

"Hey, I'm only joking, right, Dean.” Victor shook Dean’s shoulder, hand still invasively holding Dean.

Charlie didn’t let Dean answer. “Then take your hand away from him! He’s uncomfortable and you know he can kick your ass six ways from Sunday.” Charlie was seething with anger. She was right though; Dean could beat the hell out of Victor, but Dean didn’t talk, he just looked at the hand that was still resting on his shoulder. He averted his eyes from the hand to Victor, silently threatening the man with his eyes.

Bobby grunted to get the attention of the people inside the kitchen. "If you don't take away your hand off of my son, trust me I'll cut it myself with a spoon, Victor. And believe me, I won’t be satisfied with just a hand.” Bobby threatened with a calm tone. Victor backed away; hands raised mocking surrender and leaned against the wall. “Now that I think about it, the recent stabbing started after you meddled with the drug pick up. And last year’s stabbing incident happened after our first drug bust operation.”

Continuing the meeting, every clue the team gathered from their assignments always led them to Dick Roman, though there was no solid evidence about him being connected to the drugs, the people getting killed and imprisoned were all connected to him. _He’s a loan shark._ Dean heard Fergus’ remarked about the man. Adjusting the recording to the last part, Dean hit the play button.

“ _He’s a loan shark, the big boss._ ” Fergus’ voice bounced inside the kitchen.

 _Loan shark. Shark. Jaws. Tattoos_.

“Does Edgar have any tattoos?” Dean asked Pamela.

“Actually, he does.” Pamela opened her phone and showed them Edgar’s back with a tattoo of shark head on his shoulder. _Bingo_. “Why?”

Dean scratched his face, patches of stubble growing fast, trying to find words how to explain what he was thinking. “Do you remember the groups inside the prison? There’s three of them right?” Dean didn’t wait to hear their responses, “Fergus told me when I first met him that _they_ don’t have a ‘leader’-” Dean air quoted, “-and they work on their own. What if everyone with a tattoo that looks exactly like Edgar’s were all working under Roman? Does the stabber from last year’s incident have a tattoo?” Four sets of eyes looked at Victor.

“I don’t know if he’s inked, but his name’s Chet. He’s still inside the prison, I can check it if you want.”

Pamela hummed. “Do you think they’ll talk?” Pamela asked Bobby.

Adjusting his cap, Bobby shifted in his seat. “Probably, after what happened to Sorrento and the others. Their sense of loyalty will be either strengthened or shattered, and I was hoping it was the latter.”

“Andrea Kormos.” Charlie thought out loud, gazing at nothing.

The name caught Dean’s attention and faced Charlie. “What?” He asked, bracing himself with his elbows.

“The drugs shipped out of Maine came from the Kormos Co. but Dick Roman has no connection to the docks. I researched about the Kormos and I got nothing. I _illegally_ -” Charlie punctuated, “-looked at the company’s files, I got nothing. But Andrea Kormos was Dick Roman’s fiancée if Benny was telling the truth.”

“Benny doesn’t lie,” Dean defended, “and how did you know that?”

Bobby grunted across the table to get Dean’s attention. “We heard it, boy.”

 _Oh, yeah_. “So, Andrea, what’s with her?” Dean asked nonchalantly to cover his embarrassment.

“She’s the only connection Roman had to the Kormos. I’ll contact the Fitzgerald men to gather the files about Benny.” Typing on her laptop, Charlie abruptly stopped and pointed her finger at Bobby. “Wait, we already got those.” She tinkered on her laptop shortly before turning it around to show a scanned document. “Look here, this was the lawsuit filed by Benny from her parents and this one came from Roman. Checkmate!”

"That proves nothing about the drugs," Victor mumbled at the corner of the room.

“We’ll _interview_ the pioneers of the Kormos Co. and their predecessors about the Kormos and Roman.” Charlie optimistically added. “Plus, Benny was heavily drugged when he was found inside the department store. If we can find the witnesses who recanted Benny’s alibi, let them experience _guilt trip_ about Benny who lost twenty years of his life and the only thing they can help the man to achieve real justice is for them to tell the truth.” Charlie gasped after talking fast.

Dean’s mind went blank after hearing Charlie’s words. _Justice for Benny_. It might not bring back the wasted years of Benny's life but clear the name of Benny and prove him innocent after all these years sounded good in Dean’s head.

“Are we still talking about Roman here?” Bobby asked.

Dean didn’t care at the moment.

“Probably,” Charlie nodded. “Kormos won’t kill their daughter; Andrea threatened Roman about their _business_. So if it’s not Andrea’s parents who paid the witnesses, then it’s Roman – who’s also the possible killer of Andrea. Benny was drugged, so it’s possible that Roman did that to him. It’s all makes sense in my head for crying out loud. Come on guys!” Charlie whined, clearly wanting her coworkers to hear her out.

“There’s a possibility.” Pamela agreed, looking at Bobby for his output.

“Okay, let’s give it a shot.” Bobby conceded.

It took all morning to finalize their plan. Dean flipped out when Bobby declared that they’re all going to travel back to Maine. Dean said that if he knew that he’s traveling back to Maine again, he should’ve Skyped them in the first place, he also mumbled that he could now drive back to Maine with his eyes closed.

Bobby split their team to investigate the tattooed inmates, Kormos Co., and the witnesses. Victor was assigned to work with Garth to get the statements of inked inmates. Pamela would come with Bobby to investigate inside the Kormos Co., using their position to get the statements of workers. Charlie and Dean would handle the witnesses.

Charlie invited Dean to a lunch date to discuss _something_. Dean drove them to their favorite diner – Charlie suggested - where Ellen works. Charlie was silent the whole drive. _The calm before the storm_. Dean thought nervously, knuckles white as he steered the wheel towards the diner.

They were greeted by Ellen, who walked away from the counter to hug both of them. “I heard about your _boyfriend_.” She whispered in Dean’s ear before detaching herself. "What can I get you two? It's in the house for being a hard worker.” Dean’s eyes shone with excitement after hearing free food. He ordered the usual bacon cheeseburger and three types of pie.

“How’s your date with Benny?” Charlie said, catching Dean off guard – thanks to Ellen’s diversion, after seating on _their booth –_ their usual spot that’s always reserved for them.

Knowing Charlie wouldn't stop until he said the truth, Dean surrendered the battle he knew he would lose before it even started “It’s great.” Dean smiled genuinely and leaned back in his seat to relax. “The diner where we ate our lunch was where he worked last. Benny said the patty they use in their burgers was his recipe.” Dean said proudly. “It’s the best.”

Charlie kicked Dean hard in the shin. "If Ellen heard you, she'll kill you," Charlie whispered after delivering another swift kick under the table. "Then she'll sell her soul to bring you back to kill you again! And take away our free lunch!” Charlie’s demeanor changed fast when Ellen arrived with their food. “Aww, thank you, Ellen." She said sweetly.

Dean’s phone rang when Ellen placed his food in front of him. An unregistered number flashed the screen and his first instinct was to decline the call but the possibility of Benny calling him made him answer the call. “Hello.”

“ _Hello there, chief_.” The voice drawled warmly.

Unaware of both women looking at him amusedly, Dean answered breathily as though the voice took his breath away. "Benny. How are you?"

“ _I’m fine; it’s really nice to hear your voice.”_

Charlie snapped her fingers to get Dean’s attention. “Put it on speaker phone. If you don’t I will.” Charlie ordered. Dean complied like a good friend he was. Charlie giggled and scooted to make room for Ellen, who signaled her employee to take her place.

 _“I missed you already, cher._ ”

Dean’s cheek flushed beet red after hearing those words –not because of embarrassment about the two women wiggling their eyebrows. _Nice_. Charlie mouthed when he locked eyes with her. “I missed you too, Ben. Say hello to Charlie and Ellen.” Dean added to stop Benny saying something more intimate.

“ _Oh, they can hear me huh… Hello Charlie, Miss Ellen... Is it a bad time?_ ”

“No, we’re about to start lunch though. And Dean’s blushing like a tomato.” Charlie hollered from her seat.

Benny chuckled deeply from the other side of the phone. “ _Oh, sorry for interrupting. I’ll call you Dean later, okay?_ ”

“Sure, Benny, and you’re not interrupting; I’ll always make time for you. It’s just… Charlie is being Charlie. Goodbye Benny.”

“ _Bye, cher…”_ Dean was about to end the call when he heard Benny and Elizabeth _, “how do you end the call, Elizabeth… press the red button… there's no button… the red box below… It's all black… press the power button or home… where's that again… on the side or on the middle bottom part… oh, okay, I can see the red box now…_ ” The call ended.

“He sounded adorable.” Ellen stood from the seat. “I want to meet your cowboy someday, bring him here, okay?” She ruffled Dean’s hair like she always did back then before returning to the counter.

 _Cowboy_. Dean smiled at the thought of Benny wearing a cowboy costume. Pocketing his phone, Dean grabbed his burger and bit it in half. He saw Charlie smiling like an idiot at him. “What?” Dean asked with his mouth full.

“No wonder you didn’t _choke_ on your first time. You had a lot of practice.” Charlie said with a straight face.

Dean almost spat his food because of Charlie’s randomness. He quickly reached his soda and downed the food. Leaning back in his seat, Dean saw the amusement in Charlie’s face. “What the hell was that, Charlie?”

"Nothing, it's just we didn't hear you _struggling_ to take Benny. People at the office bet that he’s small, but they haven’t seen his _thick_ fingers. I think he’s huge. Is he hung? You know, like a horse?”

“Woah, woah, woah. What the fuck, Charlie.” Dean almost shouted Ellen would beat the hell out of him when she heard that at her family-friendly diner. “First of all, how the fuck did they heard everything? Tell me and I’ll answer. Tit for tat.”

Charlie started the story when Bobby forgot about Dean’s _date_ with Benny and called him to update about Fergus’ status. Charlie had an idea and connected the phone to the station’s speakers in her office – locking herself there. Everyone present at the office heard about Andrea’s story and how she was connected to Dick Roman, and just like Charlie, everyone suspected Roman behind the murder of Andrea. Everyone at the station commended how strong Benny was after enduring twenty years of imprisonment.

Chaos happened when the sound of wet kisses and moaning filled the office. People went outside, some knocked hard and tried to break Charlie’s door, others tear the speakers down and Bobby drank to forget what he heard. Shaking her head, Charlie added that others hollered that Dean was getting some action after months of being on a dry spell – unaware of Dean and Benny’s first time.

Satisfied with how the story went, Dean admitted that Benny‘s hung. _Benny has a porn star quality cock_. Dean thought but kept it to himself, Charlie doesn’t need that kind of detail. Confused with Charlie’s curiosity of male anatomy, Dean asked why. Charlie just shrugged and asked Dean back curiously how it felt walking on an uncharted territory. Dean confessed that he’s not that naïve how gay sex worked after doing some research when he had a relationship with Castiel.

Sensing how Dean’s mood shifted after recalling the past, Charlie tried to distract Dean. “So, Benny calls you _cher_ , that’s cute.” Dean smiled in appreciation, knowing his best friend meant well when she teased him.

After bidding goodbye to Ellen, Dean drove them back to the station to pack for their _road trip_ to Maine _–_ Dean tricked his brain after driving back and forth to Maine. Dean saw Bobby’s boat strapped on a truck in front of the station. Sam was there talking to Bobby. _So, it’s finally happening_. Feeling giddy, Dean jogged towards his brother, not bothering locking his car, and gave him a hug.

“Where and when will you do it?” Dean asked, bouncing in his feet, pounding the back of his brother while beaming proudly at Bobby.

“Well, Jess and I were planning to visit her parents in California and wait for the labor there, so I was thinking New Brighton State Beach, and just what I was saying to Bobby, after this case. Especially that Bobby said that this will end soon.”

“Awesome.”

The boat would be stored in Bobby’s cabin near Yosemite Falls. Sam instructed his friend, Kevin Tran, to handle everything when the boat arrives to avoid spoiling the surprise for Jess. After hugging Sam goodbye, Dean picked his duffle bag from the sleeping quarters that he still hadn't unpacked yet and throw it at the trunk of Impala. Charlie greeted him by flinging her backpack at him.

“What’s this?” Dean grumbled, shaking the pack as if it’s a present.

Sighing heavily, Charlie rolled her eyes fondly. “That’s my stuff. I’ll be riding with you and well make it the best road trip ever!” Picking up her second bag, she opened the trunk and tossed it there. “Is your guns still here?” She asked, knocking on the false bottom.

“Yeah, why?” He tossed the bag into the trunk before closing it.

“I don’t see you wearing any holster.” Charlie invaded Dean’s personal space and started frisking the man. “You don’t have one now? What if someone attacked the diner earlier, how would you protect me!” Charlie poked Dean’s chest to punctuate.

Now that Charlie mentioned it, Dean hadn’t touched his gun after he and Sam did undercover in Kormos Co. the day he knew Benny would be discharged and that was last week. How did he forget? The answer made him smile. It’s because of Benny. Not only he forgot what his job was, but he felt normal. He wanted that. Just like how Sam felt with Jess.

“You’re not wearing one either.” Dean countered.

"But I still have a gun." Charlie rested her hands on her hips. She's not backing down.

“Where?”

“I can’t tell you where. Not only you’ll know where ladies conceal their weapons but I will also fail as a woman.”

“ _Where?_ ” Dean repeated. He’s not buying Charlie’s antics this time.

“Fine! I don’t have one now.” Charlie marched inside the station, defeated; she wore her leg holster and carried her service gun. Charlie came out with another bag in tow.

“How many did you pack?” Dean, eyeing the bag, made a face.

Mimicking Dean's face, Charlie walked passed Dean and sat in the passenger seat. It turned out that the contents of Charlie's third bag were her laptop and other techie stuff. Dean signaled Bobby that they’ll head first and dialed Benny’s number as he drove back to the familiar road. Both men talked about how their morning went and made an agreement that they’ll contact each other every night to avoid disturbing their job – Benny insisted. Dean asked why couldn't they just text in the day and call at night. Benny chuckled, shyness was obvious in his voice, admitting that he’s getting confused how texting work. Dean let go of the subject but said that he would still text Benny whenever he’s free.

Just like Charlie promised, she made the trip back to Maine the best road trip Dean ever had. If he pretended that they were not working on a case, then it felt like they were going to have a vacation somewhere. Speaking of vacation, Dean thought he would visit Benny after the case, placing Roman where he belonged – Dean knew deep in his gut that it was all Roman’s doing – and ask his boyfriend to live with him. _Too soon, too schmoon_. Dean thought, but he wanted Benny to be near him. Ellen would love Benny; she might even offer him a job. _Perfect_. He texted Ellen Benny’s number and informed her that Benny cooks and maybe they could switch recipes.

The Fitzgeralds offered their house to be their temporary office. _This is it_. Dean said to himself. Their team got a big fish to catch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 10: Almost Too Late  
> -Will be posted either next Wednesday or Thursday  
> -Or maybe even earlier (I'm not even sure myself haha)
> 
> Thank you for reading :)


	10. Blood in the Water

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I cut the last part of the last chapter(9).  
> If you already read that, just imagine it was a teaser of this chapter and the next one. If not, then yey! no spoilers!  
> The chapter 'Almost Too Late' will be pushed back and will be posted after the next one 'News'
> 
> This chapter have three parts, explaining how they gathered statements against Roman.  
> It's not much but I hope you'll like it. :)

**Rufus**

It was a long day; Rufus never thought smiling would wear him down. _It took forty-three muscles to frown while only seventeen when smiling. Fuck that, how come my face doesn’t hurt after a whole day of frowning_. Tired, Rufus sat down on a couch in the Fitzgerald household. He was informed that Dean and Charlie would be here in an hour. Propping his feet up on the coffee table, Rufus relaxed by spreading his arms on the armrest and rolling his head back. He ought to relax a little.

The sound of doorknob made him jump from his seat; he stood up, grabbed his gun, and leaned against the wall. He waited patiently who it might be. “Rufus, we brought dinner.” It was a familiar voice, too cheery for his liking. He tucked his gun onto his back and welcomed his colleagues.

“You’re early.” He grunted, grabbing Charlie’s two bags from the floor. “Kitchen’s right there.”

Rufus saw Dean on his phone, the boy’s dumb smile made him look like Bobby when his friend was still mooning over Ellen. He might be John’s son but he’s totally Bobby’s boy. Shaking his head, Rufus climbed up to the stairs and settled the bag outside Charlie's room-slash-office.

“Rufus, let’s eat!” Charlie hollered downstairs. He was glad only the youngest Fitzgerald lived here alone; the noise these two slackers made was unbearable. _Fuck those D &D Friday nights. I can’t understand games these days_. He marched down to the kitchen and saw Dean on the couch, still on his phone, smiling like an idiot. "Don't mind him. He already ate." Rufus grunted in apprehension.

“When will Victor be here?” Grabbing the paper bag, Rufus inspected its contents and found burgers and fries. _Great. These kids will kill me_. Never saying no to grace, he took the fries.

"I don't know," Charlie answered with her mouthful. “Where are your men?”

“They’re holed up somewhere. Garth is with them right now.” _I swear that scrawny kid is scared of me_. “How’s everything?”

With that, Charlie’s posture changed and acted like a professional. She showed him the list of inmates who have a tattoo of sharks. The list came from Ash at the prison. Rufus was glad Ash and Charlie made peace with each other years ago after their crazy competitions. Charlie said that Garth III temporarily stopped the scheduled visitation to prevent the inmates from leaking the operation they were doing.

 

* * *

 

Victor came after three days later. _Fuck, that guy was lazier than Dean Winchester_. Rufus grumbled to himself. He was inside the dingy joint where his men drink every night. He’s treating Ash for helping him and Garth illegally fish out information to pull the strings of the inmates. That Chet guy was not easy to convince. _Cheese_. Rufus thought. _He only demanded four months supply of cheese to talk. Fucking cheese_. Rufus was assigned to the hospital tomorrow, dreading that Victor might mess things up. Yes, he was good at interrogations but the guy had a short fuse. _Garth’s there_. Rufus told himself. _He’ll be fine_.

It was quarter to five; Rufus’ _shift_  would end soon. He was standing near the front desk, as usual, serving as a lookout to his men. A guy with a shaved head enter the hospital, he walked directly towards the front desk. Rufus pretended to look on his clipboard, focusing his attention on the incoming conversation.

“Excuse me miss, may I know which room where Fergus Crowley is staying?”

The name caught Rufus’ attention. It was classified information and someone just asked if he was here. The nurse standing behind the front desk also knew it was classified, so she did what the script said that was given to her.

“I’m sorry, sir. Only family members are allowed to see him.” She politely said and smiled at the man.

 _Good_. Fergus was the only child of Rowena – a single mother. And Fergus was not tied to someone.

“I’m his _partner_.” The man said hesitantly.

 _Partner?_ The nurse behind the front desk glanced in his direction. This was beyond the script. Rufus nodded his confirmation and let the nurse do the normal thing.

“Oh, can I get your ID and sign here please.” After the man signed the form, the nurse signaled Rufus to accompany the suspicious man. “He’ll direct you to the room, sir.”

Rufus needed to think fast to fish information from this man without blowing anything. _Partner_. He started with that. "So, you and Mister Crowley were together huh." He smiled while pushing the button on the elevator.

“Yeah, we’re not that really out.”

 _Well, at least he answered_. Rufus hummed in appreciation. “How did you know he was here? I bet it must be hard when you visited him from the prison and he’s not there.” _No civilian can visit the prison. Officers there were instructed to not to give information. This man is--_. The door of the elevator opened to Fergus’ floor. Rufus’ instinct told him not let this man walk behind his back, but he needed to stay in character, so he led the way to Fergus’ room. 

“Well, yeah it was hard.” The man talked behind Rufus. “I’m glad one officer told me where he’s at.” _What the fuck_. Rufus wanted to be angry but he knew that no one would leak Fergus’ information. _This man is dangerous_. “He’s a nice guy. We both have shaved head; we became friends in an instant.”

_Shaved head?_

Rufus’ two men guarding the room were alerted with their presence. Opening Fergus’ room, Rufus made a subtle signal to his men. Fergus was asleep when they entered. Rufus stayed in the room. Walking towards the end of the bed, he grabbed the clipboard there and ‘inspected’ the machines to watch the man’s interaction with Fergus.

The man sat beside Fergus, eyeing the machines and dextrose. Fidgeting, the man stood up and hovered Fergus’ bed. Rufus saw the man looked at him hesitantly before leaning to kiss Fergus’ temple. “I’ll let him sleep.” The man declared. “I’ll visit him next time.” With that, the man exited the room. Rufus waited for at least three minutes before he went to the lobby and checked the man’s name. _Martin Creaser_. The scanned ID looked legit. What bothered Rufus the most was the shaved officer who gave him the information about Fergus. _Those idiots will get an earful tomorrow_.

 

* * *

 

After briefing the officers inside, Rufus asked if there was a man with shaved head went there yesterday. No one came because of the notice of the visitation schedule. Rufus went to Ash and asked him to search the name of Martin Creaser in his computer before he and Victor interrogate the names Charlie gave him that night. _Edgar and Victor_ , the stabber and someone with the same name with Victor.

Garth’s at the hospital to ask Fergus about his _partner_. Call him paranoid, but Rufus was just being cautious about that Martin guy. He and Victor started the _interview_ Edgar about paying someone for their silence. Charlie instructed Rufus well about that topic. She gave him instructions about the picture of an old woman, a date, and mentioning Dean’s boyfriend’s name.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Edgar’s features remained passive after repeating that answer the tenth times. Getting impatient, Rufus placed the picture of the old woman on the table. The man sitting on the chair froze after looking at the picture.

“Twenty years ago…” Rufus trailed off, “Do you remember her?” Edgar didn’t answer. “Benjamin Lafitte… ringing any bells?” Still nothing. “We found your fingerprint somewhere… Your sentence will be extended if you don’t talk.”

 _Gotcha_. Edgar looked at him, eyes pleading. "Dick Roman," Edgar answered simply. "He ordered us to buy that woman's silence." 

“Why?”

Eyes still locked on Rufus', Edgar slumped in the chair. "I don't know, _sir_. We’re just instructed to give the money and threaten the lady.”

“We?”

“Yes, Victor and I. Not the--” Rufus raised his hand to stop Edgar.

 _That’s enough information_. Rufus thought. “Thank you for your cooperation, Edgar.” Rufus gestured, Edgar stood up and walked outside the room, he was escorted back to the main building of the prison.

Victor, the inmate, was not as stubborn as Edgar. It looked like he already knew what would happen, so he answered honestly when he saw the picture of the woman. ‘He forgot’ was his reason for not remembering what he did twenty years ago.

Rufus was ready to eat lunch, after wrapping thing up in his end; he looked where Victor’s at. Victor was not inside the prison, so Rufus went to the parking lot and saw him talking to some guy wearing a hat. The guy noticed him walking in their direction and quickly climbed his car. “Who’s that?” Rufus asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Martin, he’s really funny.”

 _Martin_.

“Martin? As in Martin Creaser?”

 _Fuck, was it Victor? Victor’s head is shaved… wait bald_ … _eh, potato… potato…_

“I dunno, but guys like us need to stick together.” Victor laughed, climbing the passenger side.

“Why, is he also bald?” Rufus teasingly asked. _The guy’s wearing a hat_.

“I’m not saying bald, but shaved.”

 _Damnit, Victor_. Rufus didn’t enter the truck; he jogged back to the prison instead. He needed to follow that car, Ash could look at the camera outside the parking lot. Reaching Ash’s desk, Ash talked first. “Rufus, how old _is_ Martin Creaser? Because based on what I saw here, he's one hundred and thirty-seven years old."

 _Fuck_. “Do you have cameras outside the--” Rufus’ question was cut off by his phone. Garth’s number flashed on the screen. Rufus gestured to Ash to give him a moment to answer the call. Ash nodded. "Spill," Rufus ordered, shifting his weight from one foot to another.

“ _Hello to you, too. Anyways, Fergus doesn't have a ‘partner’._ ” Rufus heard someone shouting in the background at the end of the line. ‘ _Do I look gay to you?’_ It was Fergus.

Rufus palmed his face, sweat starting to build on his forehead. _This is bad_.

 

* * *

 

Rufus pulled Bobby out, who’s with Pamela setting up some machine at the local precinct, to talk about the man using a dead man’s identity. After Ash confirmed the car’s plate number from the camera, he did his thing and found out that it was a rented car, so now; half of his men were now searching the guy in Maine. Rufus told Bobby everything, from how he met the guy at the hospital and how he was snooping around the prison.

Wanting to know more about the man, Bobby called Victor about his side of the story. While Bobby and Victor were talking, Rufus went to the hospital where Fergus was confined and asked for a copy of the video where _Martin_ was at the front desk.

Returning to their temporary office, the Fitzgerald household, Bobby greeted him by pulling him on inside the kitchen to talk with the others. Charlie and Pamela were already seated; Victor was talking to Garth who was cooking dinner. _Where’s the lover boy?_ Rufus asked himself.

Bobby started the meeting by discussing the deaths of dealers they seized every drug bust operation. He pointed out that Fergus might be their next target to prevent him from talking. Though they already got what they needed from Fergus, they ought to serve and protect everyone. _No more deaths_. Charlie quoted on the end of the table.

After talking to Victor that afternoon, Bobby already contacted a different hospital and readied the transfer of Fergus Crowley. Wanting to finish what he started, Rufus volunteered to escort Fergus to the other hospital and let Garth replace him to continue the interrogation with Victor. Bobby shook his head no, explaining they already had enough statement, plus Edgar’s earlier confession was golden.

To fulfill Fergus’ wish, Bobby ordered Victor to find a new nursing home for Fergus’ mother. It was mostly paperwork, so Victor complied.

When Dean came down from the stairs, the wide smile on his face was quickly replaced by ‘let's talk business' expression. Bobby ordered him and Charlie to continue what they were doing; apparently, he and Pamela were still assembling the lie detector machine. Pamela commented that she could do it by herself and let Bobby do the paperwork they needed to interview the administrator and workers of the Kormos Co.

With everything settled, Bobby added that the Fergus’ transfer would start tomorrow morning. Rufus was not surprised about that. They needed to act fast before something happened. After eating dinner, Rufus contacted his men for an emergency meeting.

 

* * *

 

Now, Rufus and his men were driving three identical cars. Him in the middle, Fergus was with him. Rufus was turning the knob of the radio to listen to something worthy when a specific station was playing his favorite song ‘ _Don’t close your eyes_ ’, Fergus made a snarky comment behind him but he ignored the man.

Suddenly, a news flash interrupted the song. The anchor was explaining something about a car explosion on the outskirt of Maine. Alerted by the place of the accident, Rufus reached out to increase the volume of the radio. A loud noise made him stop from reaching the radio. The car in front of them started to sway, abruptly stopping on the side of the road. He was about to pull over when their car was sprayed with bullets, breaking the windows of the car. They were ambushed.

 

*******

 

**Pamela**

It was past nine when Bobby and Pamela arrived the Fitzgerald household. Pamela entered the house while Bobby took their bags from the trunk. A familiar laughter was coming somewhere inside the house. She knew she heard it before, but it was a long time ago since she heard it. _It’s Dean_. Following where the laugh was coming from, she stood still at the frame of the kitchen door, watching the man who looked younger when laughing – crows’ feet were visible at the edge of his eyes. _It’s been a long time_. Pamela said to herself.

When the call ended, that was when Pamela announced her presence. “Who’s that?” Though she already knew the answer, she still asked the man smiling shyly in the kitchen. “Was it Benny?”

Still smiling, Dean looked at her through his lashes. “Yeah.”

“Wow, I’m glad you two were working things out. Long distance relationship is hard.” Pulling one the chair closest to Dean, Pamela sat down and crossed her legs. “Charlie said he has a _thick_ southern accent.” She should feel bad making the man uncomfortable, but the way Dean fidgeted in his seat was worth the effort.

Scratching the back of his head, Dean avoided Pamela’s gaze. “His _accent_ is not that thick.” When Dean’s eyes locked with her, he smirked. “But his _baguette_ is.”

 _Oh, sweet Moses_. “Huh, I have never tried French _pastry_ before. What’s that taste like?” She arched an eyebrow, leaning back in the chair.

“Where’s Bobby?” Dean suddenly changed the subject.

Pamela had her fun, so she’ fine with it. “Carrying our bags.” Standing from her seat, Pamela patted Dean’s shoulder. “We have a long day tomorrow, get some rest.” Dean nodded and stood up from his chair. “Have you tried doing it on the phone?” Pamela teasingly asked before Dean exited the kitchen.

Dean stopped and looked at her with wide eyes. Opening his mouth and closing it again, Dean shook his head and started to walk away. “Goodnight, Pam.” _Cute._

 

* * *

 

After a whole day of insisting to use a lie detector machine, Bobby complied and talked to the local precinct to use their machine. They were in the middle of setting it up when Rufus came and pulled Bobby out to talk about an important matter. While Bobby was with Rufus, Pamela thought of scheduling a meeting with the previous owner of the docks, Paul Lumbers, if she’s not mistaken.

Scheduling a meeting with Paul was easier than meeting the higher personnel of Kormos Co. They still needed some legal letters to talk and investigate the workplace. Pamela was about to return the precinct when Bobby called her for an emergency meeting.

Pamela saw Garth outside to house struggling to open the door while carrying bags of groceries. Pitying the man, she opened the door for him and offered a hand. Garth, who accepted the help, said that he’ll cook dinner for everyone like a good normal host. Tired of the takeouts Charlie kept bringing, Pamela kissed the man’s cheek, who looked like a deer in the headlights at the entrance. Laughing to herself, Pamela entered the kitchen.

Charlie and Dean were already there, immersed in their own world, Charlie on her laptop while Dean was looking at his phone. Sitting across from Charlie, Pamela asked. “Where’s Bobby?”

“Talking to Victor.” Charlie deadpanned, not looking up at her laptop.

Pamela hummed in understanding. “What’s up with Dean?” Leaning forward, she whispered.

This caught Charlie’s attention and looked up from her laptop. “He’s waiting for Benny’s shift to end. Benny will--” She was cut off by Dean’s ringtone. Both women whipped their head to look at the man who’s now smiling like an idiot. “That’s probably Benny.” Charlie giggled.

Looking in their direction, Dean stood up and ran upstairs to answer the call. The moment Dean disappeared from the kitchen, Garth entered with his groceries. _How long did he recover from that little kiss?_ Pamela thought. Bobby and Victor entered at the same time. Victor made a beeline where Garth was preparing the dinner while Bobby was scanning the room – probably looking for Dean. The sound of a car outside caught Bobby’s attention and trotted at the front door.

When Rufus entered the kitchen, Bobby started the meeting without Dean. Pamela pointed out that because of their tight schedule she’ll manage to assemble the machine herself so Bobby could start the paperwork. Preparing for Paul’s meeting, Pamela read Sam and Dean’s notes about the man. While she was skimming the file, Charlie shouted something downstairs about Dean. It was barely audible in her room but she swore she heard her name in Charlie’s tantrum.

True to his words, Paul came to the precinct for their meeting. He almost backed out after discovering that they would use a lie detector to him. Using Sam and Dean’s recent interview as a starter, Pamela learned that Paul was cornered to sell the place to the Kormos. Not because of guilt.

Thanking the lie detector, she squeezed out important information from Paul like: half of the shares of Kormos Co. belonged to Dick Roman and confirming that Andrea Kormos was Dick Roman’s fiancée. Pamela dodged the question about the drugs that were found in the cargos because Paul was not a part of Kormos Co. anymore. Instead, she asked about Benjamin Lafitte. Paul was one of the witnesses who recanted his statement. Yes, it was Dean and Charlie’s assignment, but now that he’s already with her attached to a lie detector machine, there’s no harm with that.

Pamela started the question if he already knew that Benny was already free until she made her way about pulling out his statement about the incident. Paul declined to answer the question but after Pamela made her ‘doing what’s right’ speech, Paul confessed. Kormos and Roman invited him to a dinner to talk about business; they offered to pay more money if he pulled his statement about Benny working late to have extra money for his paycheck.

"Thank you for everything, Mr. Lumbers," Pamela said while she was detaching the apparatus from Paul. Nodding his head, Paul didn’t answer verbally. Pamela knew this was bound to happen. Paul was scared. “I know it’s hard Mr. Lumbers and you did great telling the truth.” Pamela cooed. “That secret you’ve been carrying all this time must be eating you alive.” Paul nodded again.

The door opened and an officer called Pamela from the door. “Agent Barnes, there’s a phone call for you.”

It was one of her habits, shutting her phone off while working to focus on the job. Pamela nodded and gestured the officer to finish detaching Paul from the machine. Walking towards the main lobby of the precinct, she noticed the officers clumping on the television. “Agent Barnes here, who’s this?”

“ _Pam, it's me, Charlie, have you heard the news?_ ” Charlie’s voice was quivering.

 

*******

 

**Charlie**

Still pissed about the witness that morning, Charlie gave Dean the address of the next witness. The salty breeze made her hair fuzzy and tripled its volume. She grabbed a brush and started taming her hair. Dean grunted his disapproval when she angled the rearview mirror. _This is ridiculous. Woah, wait, I look good_. Charlie, arching an eyebrow, said while holding her hair from the back. _I should really start tying my hair_. She slumped down in the passenger seat after tying the hair using a handkerchief as an improvised ribbon.

She had a feeling that this might turn in their favor. A fifty-seven-year-old florist, whose flower shop was located near the Kormos Co. _That’s not stereotyping. I’m just being optimistic._ Charlie hummed, agreeing with herself. Looking through her laptop, she read the file about the florist – Leslie Webber. Based on her statement twenty years ago, Benjamin Lafitte bought a lily at seven forty-eight the night Andrea Kormos was killed before she recanted it. This was solid evidence if Webber confessed. Why? Andrea’s time of death was seven fifty-five; the shop was ten minutes away via car. Closing her laptop, she shifted in her seat and faced Dean. “So, how’s Benny?”

Glancing at her in his seat, Dean cleared his throat. “Enough with the formalities, Charlie. What do you want?”

 _You know me too well, Winchester_. “Nothing, I’m just curious.”

“About?”

Hiding her smirk, Charlie pretended to look outside the car. “Nah, you know what, forget that I said something.” _Bite Winchester, I know this works for you all the time_. In her peripheral vision, she saw Dean started to fidget and she internally hummed her victory song.

“Come on, what is it?”

Charlie spared Dean a look then pretended to watch the view again. “I told you, forget about it. You won’t answer anyways.” She bit the insides of her cheek to stop herself from smiling.

“Damnit, Charlie. Don't start something you can't finish."

Raising her hands in mocking surrender, Charlie faced her best friend. “Okay, okay. I’m just curious about the future of your relationship with Benny.” Dean hummed inquisitively. “Do you see yourself as a pitcher or a catcher?” The car swerved. Charlie braced herself in time to avoid hitting her head against the window. “Hey!”

“What the hell is that?”

Watching Dean getting flustered was one of Charlie’s top ten guilty pleasures. _Dear Charlie, don’t do it again in the car if you wanted to live_. “Would you rather _do him_ or let him _do you_?”

Red starting to creep from Dean’s neck, he coughed and replied that was almost a whisper. “I know what it means.”

“And what do you think? I just can’t imagine two chunky men doing it.”

“Can you even imagine a naked man in your head?” _Good point_. “Besides, that never crossed my mind yet.” Charlie hummed her approval about Dean’s honesty.

They drove in silence after that and reached their destination in three minutes. Webber was outside her shop watering the flowers. She immediately stopped what she was doing and greeted them. After the formalities, Charlie started work her magic. Webber politely asked them to come into her shop to tell everything.

Webber started the story about a certain night where a silent boy bought a lily, she remembered it vividly because the boy's cheek was flushed when he paid for it. She knew it was payday and most workers made a beeline towards the nearest joint, but the boy spent most of his money for a flower. Though the boy insisted paying the flower, she gave to him for free.

When the news about the murder spread around the area, Officer Fitzgerald came to her shop to take her statement about that night. Two days after that, two suited men came to her door and gave her money and instructed her to go to the police station to pull out her statement. One man fished out a gun from his jacket, not really pointing at her but she got the hint and did what she was told.

Webber started to cry, she knew she threw the innocent boy into hell for being scared and not doing what's right. She stood up fast and instructed Dean to pry open the wooden floor in her kitchen. There was a chest full of money underneath her kitchen. Admitting that she was too guilty of her wrongdoing, Webber decided to keep the money untouched for twenty years.

 

* * *

 

“Balls!” Bobby cursed under his breath when Charlie opened the chest and wads of money came into view. “Leslie Webber, huh. You think there’s fingerprint there?”

“Well, if it’s really left untouched then maybe. But let’s not keep our hopes up. Give me a few hours. Dean, would you give me a hand.” Charlie asked but it came out as an order. Charlie lucked out and found three sets of fingerprints in thirty minutes. To be sure, she searched for another five extras.

After scanning the fingerprints, Charlie ran a program to find who owned it. It took longer than Charlie anticipated, so she called Dean, who’s in the bathroom, to grab some food at the nearest diner. While they were eating, Charlie made a schedule to minimize the time consumption by mapping the address of witnesses who changed their address. _I'm pretty sure they were paid just like Webber back there to afford to live in this area._ Charlie observed.

There were two people, minus Leslie Webber, who touched the money. Surprised, Charlie shook her head in amusement finding out that Edgar, the stabber, was one of them. A guy named Victor Laurie was the other one. After a quick researched about the guy, Charlie learned that Victor was also in the same prison together with Edgar. She printed out Webber's picture and handed it to Rufus who was assigned to prison with Victor.

"You show them the picture first, okay," Charlie instructed, sitting with beside Rufus in the kitchen. Rufus grunted his understanding. “Then say Benny’s name. I’m pretty sure they’ll remember it because of him. If they’re still stubborn about telling the truth, mention that they left their fingerprint behind and do some threatening. That’ll also crack them.”

“Picture, Benjamin Lafitte, fingerprints, and some threatening.” Rufus enumerated. “If this won’t work, maybe Ash has something.”

 _Damnit, Ash, you're stealing my spotlight!_ _Not because I made peace, that doesn’t mean I agree we had a draw, I declined Google’s job offer for crying out loud._ Puzzled with Charlie’s blank expression, Rufus took the photo, stood up from his chair, and walked out from the kitchen.

"I feel like your personal chauffeur," Dean grumbled. They were now returning to their improvised office. The three witnesses they visited confessed the moment Benny’s name came out of her mouth. Charlie was actually planning on impressing Dean with her communication skills that he lacked, amused by how her best friend looked at her with bewilderment every time she made them talk out of guilt or just because she could.

They were at the house when Bobby called her phone. There seemed to be a problem with Crowley and she knew it was something big when she heard a little panic in Bobby’s voice. Bobby said that Rufus went back to the hospital to get a copy of a video where there’s a clear picture of a man using the name _Martin Creaser._ Though the camera at the prison parking lot was clear, the man was wearing a hat, totally obstructing his face.

Agreeing with Bobby’s observation, she quoted ‘no more death’. The one behind all of this, which was Dick Roman in her head, was willing to eliminate people who could expose him _._

After the meeting, Charlie saw Dean dashing his way towards his room. _My best friend is too in love_. Charlie rolled her eyes fondly to herself. Seconds later, she decided to eavesdrop on their conversation to have more ammunition for her best friend. Bobby was giving her a disagreeing look when he saw her holding a glass against Dean door. When she thought she heard something, she shushed Bobby who rolled his eyes and went to his room.

Charlie heard it. _I miss you, too, Benny_. She put a hand in her mouth to muffle her chuckles. _Yeah_. Her chuckles stopped after hearing that breathily ‘Yeah’ from Dean as though he was panting. _Maybe next time play with my nipples. Fuck, Ben_. Mouth gaping – enough to catch a fly, Charlie couldn't believe what she was hearing. _I love it when you bite my collarbone, I'm quite surprised you didn't claim me by giving me a hickey.._. _I miss your taste, Benny. I can't wait to put that thick cock in my mouth again… Yeah, I‘ll suck you hard… I know you love it when my tongue swirled around the head of your huge cock…_ Charlie reached her limit and ran towards the bathroom to wash her face.

Still, in a state of shock, Charlie was sitting in the living room when Dean came out in his room. She saw Dean went to the kitchen to wash his hands and drank a glass of water. Dean stopped in the living room when he saw her, a shit-eating grin was plastered on his flushed face mixed with confusion about of her horrified face. “What’s up, Charlie.”

“You had phone sex with Benny!” Charlie shouted. “Who put that idea in your head?” Without waiting for Dean’s answer, she continued. “I bet it’s Pam. Pam! Pamela Barnes! Why are you corrupting my precious Dean?” Dean was long gone when Charlie stopped screaming in the living room.

 

* * *

 

Thanks to her brain’s coping mechanism, Charlie forgot what happened that night. Driving towards the next witness, she opened the radio. Quite shocked that Dean didn’t stop her, she chose a station that’s not playing classic rock songs. Charlie was currently singing to Taylor Swift’s ‘Shake it off’ and she swore she saw Dean mouthing the lyrics. Shaking Dean’s shoulder, she encouraged Dean to sing along with her. Dean caved in too fast and started drumming the wheel while singing the song with Charlie.

A newsflash interrupted their carpool party; Charlie turned the volume up to catch what was the anchor was saying. After the anchor finished the news about a car explosion on the outskirt of Maine, both of their phones started ringing. Charlie picked her phone up and lowered the volume; she raised an eyebrow silently asking Dean who’s calling him. Dean mouthed ‘Garth’ and answered his phone.

“ _Charlie, something happened_.”

She could't see him but Charlie could almost see the panic in Bobby’s feature. “Was it the car explosion?”

“ _What? No, Rufus just called me. They were being ambushed._ ”

Charlie jumped in her seat, hitting the roof of the Impala in the process. “Ambushed? Whe--” She was interrupted by Dean, shaking her leg. “Wait, Bobby.” Charlie put a hand above the microphone of the phone. “What?” She hissed if this was not important she’ll kick him in the balls.

“Garth said the car that exploded was Victor’s.” Dean pulled over on the side of the road and looked at Charlie.

_Fucking shit. Two accidents in one day. Lucky us._

“ _Balls!_ ” Bobby’s voice echoed inside the car. “ _Charlie, are you there?_ ”

That snapped back Charlie from her short trip to the void; she put the phone back in her ear and answered. “Yeah, I’m here. You heard it, huh.”

Happy that Bobby made the decision himself; Charlie told Dean what Bobby instructed. Because they were closer to Rufus’ location, they needed to back them up while Bobby went to where the car exploded. Charlie rested her hand above her service gun. She hated using it. The deaths made her job real. Without it, she could always imagine they were only playing while saving people.

Charlie jerked away from her stupor when she felt Dean’s hand on her leg. "Go call Pam," Dean said.

Remembering Pamela’s habits, Charlie palmed her face for not remembering it sooner after trying to contact her phone six times. She called the local precinct where Pamela was borrowing the lie detector. The phone was answered after a few rings. She informed the officer who she was and the reasons for her call, the officer followed what she instructed and called Pamela.

“ _Agent Barnes here, who’s this?_ ”

"Pam, it's me, Charlie, have you heard the news?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter 'News' will be posted next week. :)


	11. News

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's kinda late because of the previous holiday. And I spent most of my free time watching Stranger Things 2. (Is it just me or Chief Hopper is hot)  
> I know this chapter is not that good, but I promise I the next ones will be great.
> 
> I altered a little detail from the original post for the future chapters.  
> Well, here you go.

The gunfire lasted for fifteen minutes; Dean never thought that there was no fatality on their side. Coming down from adrenaline, he kept his hands steady as he helped to dress the wounds of Rufus' men. He'd done this before. Not a lot, but he's pretty good at it. Charlie was crouched beside him holding an antiseptic. She did well back there, applying her online gaming philosophies against those heavily armed men, though Dean hated her idea, he's glad everything went out fine.

 

…

_Thirty minutes ago._

Dean heard the exchange of gunfire before he saw it. Charlie just finished explaining to Pamela what happened and she was on her way to help Bobby. In his peripheral vision, he saw Charlie fished something out from her jacket. A small vial filled with clear liquid. "What's that?" Never taking his eyes off the road, he asked.

“Liquid luck.” She deadpanned and started to remove the lid.

The smell of strong alcohol filled the car.  _Vodka?_ Dean thought. “I call that liquid courage.” He watched his best friend down the alcohol. She needed it.

The sight of smoke slowed Dean down. Observing the scene, he saw three identical cars pulled over the road and a white van. Men with high caliber guns were using the van as a shield, others were spread out using the trees to conceal themselves. "Pull over," Charlie ordered from the passenger seat, face flushed but her eyes were focused. Pulling over, Dean used the shrubs to hide the Impala. "Go get your guns, the big ones. I'll run towards Rufus to give intel about the situation. You cover me.”

“Run? Are you out of your mind?” Dean knew that was the alcohol talking.

Charlie looked at him with determination in her eyes. "No, I'm fast and I do yoga. You're a better shot than me. Plus, I can't command them from here." With that, she started rummaging her backpack. A couple of drones were fished out and a pair of glasses – a high-tech one.

Understanding her point, Dean got out of the car and took his sniper rifle out. While he was assembling the bad boy, he saw Charlie turning the drones on. After preparing themselves, Dean positioned himself to get a better angle; he looked at Charlie who gave him an okay signal. Taking a deep breath, he peeked on the scope and searched the trees.  _There_. Dean snapped his finger to get Charlie’s attention, she nodded and positioned herself. The moment the Dean fired, Charlie started to run, gun raised, she started to shoot while running. A few exchange of gunshot later, she made it.

The drones above started to move. Charlie’s making her move. Rufus’ men started to shuffle around, positioning themselves to the enemy’s blind spots.  _Good work, Charlie._  Trying to help a little, Dean searched harder for hidden enemies. “ _Eight o’clock of the van._ ” He heard Charlie’s voice inside the car. No time to be amused, Dean followed the direction and saw a man hiding behind a bush.  _Bang_. “ _Rufus’ men were getting closer to the van. Shoot the one crouching near the bumper after I gave the signal._ ” While the others were busy firing blindly at the cars, the one near the bumper was serving as a lookout. “ _Now._ ” Dean pulled the trigger and breathed, he didn’t even realize he was holding his breath.

After that, everything went to their favor. The bastards didn't see what hit them, they were asked to drop their weapon and surrender, but it looked like they'd rather die fighting than doing what was asked.

…

 

Waiting for the police to come, Rufus took the three of his injured men together with Fergus; the uninjured were left the site to identify their attackers. Using her facial scanner program, Charlie assisted them to fasten their work. While everyone was busy, Dean fished out his phone and dialed a number instinctively.

“ _Dean?_ ”

The smooth drawl warmed Dean’s insides. There was a hint of confusion in Benny’s voice. It’s probably because of the time Dean was calling him. “Hey, Benny.” He tried to sound casual as he sat back on the hood of the Impala.

“ _Uh-oh, what’s wrong?_ ”

Dean could almost feel the calculative gaze of Benny’s eyes through the phone. Maybe if they’re together now, Benny would put his arms around him and hold him tight. “Nothing it’s just… Rufus’ team got ambushed. There’s no casualty, though.” Benny didn’t respond. The silence stretched long enough to catch Dean’s concern. “Benny?”

“ _I know you already know this, but please be careful out there, okay?_ ”

Worried. Benny was worried. That was what Dean felt in Benny’s shaking voice. “Yeah, I’ll be careful. Charlie always got my back.” He assured, making Benny worried was the last thing Dean wanted to make Benny feel.

“ _Good for you. I pity her, though. You must be a pain in the ass._ ” Benny snickered.

Dean was relieved Benny was fine.  _Well, at least he can joke now_. “Hey! She’s worse than me.”

“ _Okay, I believe you. Just…_ ” Benny paused, “ _Please be careful out there…_ ” Benny repeated, “ _for me._ ”

That’s the first selfish thing Benny ever said, Dean was not complaining, though. He felt special. Then a sudden realization hit him. Benny didn’t want to lose him. The dangers of their job made Benny worry.  _What if it was me and Charlie who got ambushed?_  Dean dreaded.  _It’ll break Benny_. “Of course, Benny.” He promised. Benny had enough heartbreak.

“ _I miss you, Dean._ ”

Dean knew what Benny meant by those words. He’s sure Benny didn’t want to say it for the first time through the phone. “I miss you, too, Benny.”  _It won’t be long now_ ,  _Benny_. _I love you_. Dean ended the call. There’s no reason to say goodbye. What’s the good in goodbye anyways?

“Look at you. You big sap.” Charlie teased, ruffling his hair. Dean didn’t realize he was crying until Charlie swept his cheek.  _Tears of joy_. Dean fell so hard for that man. Charlie hugged him, rocking their bodies in a slow rhythm. He missed Benny’s big arms where it felt like home; he went to the special place in his head where Benny was humming ‘Hey Jude’. It used to be his mother, hugging him in their kitchen when he was a kid; the smell of pie was blending to the smell of autumn breeze. Now, it was Benny in their small cell, the smell of salty breeze, mint, and cheap soap made him relax.

Pulling back, Dean looked at Charlie with amusement in his eyes. “You’re awesome back there. Please, don’t do that again.” He ended with a serious tone.

“Thank you, Captain obvious.” Charlie snorted, trying to hide her dorky smile. “Bobby just called. We need to move.”

 

* * *

 

 They were on their way towards the place where the explosion happened – outside of a gas stop. Bobby refused to give most of the details and asked them to come as soon as possible. They both knew something bad had happened and it's kind of impersonal to relay the news through the phone. The sound of the radio filtered the silence of the drive.

 _Took a million miles and wrong turns just to find you...  
_ _...You feel like[home](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PupN5PRStHg)..._

Dean was smiling when the song ended. It reminded him of meeting Benny inside the prison. Call it wishful thinking but he knew what he felt about Benny was mutual. He turned the knob of the radio, finding his regular station.  _Enough sappy country song for today_.

Arriving at the scene, the first thing Dean noticed was the familiar police officers working from the prison. _Is that Jody?_ There was a man he never met before but somewhere in the back of his mind told him he met the man. Climbing out of the car, Dean was greeted by Bobby with a grave look on his face.

“Victor…” Bobby trailed off. Now that Bobby mentioned Victor’s name, Dean hadn’t seen the man around.  _Wait, is it because.._.

“Is he” Dean tried to find a word to soften the blow, “gone?”

Bobby didn’t respond, he just pulled Dean into a hug. After talking earlier to Benny, Dean appreciated the hug more. He was loved. "That could've been you and Charlie." Bobby pulled away, only to pull Charlie with Dean in a bone-crushing hug. Bobby never opted physical contact to comfort people. Not since Dean's last heartbreak. He's more like a word kind of guy who'll just pat you on the back. His hugs back then kept Dean grounded from drifting away.

“Where’s Pam?” Charlie asked after breaking away from the hug.

Hesitant, Bobby took a deep breath before answering. "He's with Victor." Bobby was blinking the tears away from his eyes. He and Victor were not really on good terms but Victor was family. "She'll handle the papers and contact his family."

Charlie was silent for a few seconds, deciphering what Bobby just said and the scene. Nodding her understanding about the unspoken news, she straightened her body and asked. “Why did you call us here, Bobby?”

Clearing his throat, Bobby composed himself. “I want you and Dean to continue what Victor started, go to Sioux Falls and arrange everything for Victor and find a place for the Crowley’s mother after that.” He ordered.

“Who’ll handle this?” Dean couldn't help but ask.

Bobby looked around and pointed the man that looked familiar, standing together with Jody Mills. “Fitzgerald together with Jody there would do the investigation.”  _Fitzgerald. Is that Garth’s dad? No wonder he looked familiar._ Dean thought.

“So,” Charlie started, “What about our operation?” She asked.

Turning his attention back to Charlie, Bobby sighed heavily. “Pamela and I will stay here. There's still a lot of paperwork to be filed before starting the investigation at Kormos Co. How many statements do you need to take?”

"Five," Charlie answered quickly.

“Not bad. Resume that after… You finish what you needed to do.”

With that, Dean and Charlie were on the road again towards Sioux Falls. The drive felt longer than Dean remembered. Charlie handled most stuff she could do with her laptop, informing their colleagues about what happened to Victor. Not wasting time, Charlie found a nursing home near Sioux Falls and all Dean needed to do was make an appearance because they didn't have an online application. Dean tried to call Benny when they stopped at a cheap hotel. _Out of service. Maybe it’s because of the reception_. Dean was too tired to think and fall asleep when his head touched the soft pillow.

Everything was ready when they arrive early in the morning. After meeting Victor’s family, Dean went to the address Charlie gave to him, missing the service and Charlie’s speech. Dean was not informed that it’ll take a day to finish the paper. It was mostly waiting, filling out forms and an interview. He had to inform the head about their situation to fasten the process and the head complied politely.

Arriving at the station that night, a tall figure was standing inside the kitchen. "Dean." Sam greeted him with a hug. Jess was with him, belly was big as a watermelon who also hugged him at an awkward angle.

“Hey, Jess. How’s the baby?” Dean asked, though he’s tired, he was beaming with joy as he held the Jess’ belly.

"He's healthy, a sign of a real Winchester," Jess commented.

"I bet he'll be chubby like Sam when he was a kid," Dean said while standing up. Winking at his not so little brother, Jess laughed at that statement. "So, why'd you visit here? Aren't you busy with the baby?"

Jess looked at Sam who was standing idly at the door. “Well, Bobby called and he needed Sam’s help for your work. I told him I’m fine so he should help you guys.” Jess raised her hand and grabbed Dean’s arm. “And I want to invite you and Charlie for dinner.” She winked at Dean.  _Oh no_.

As expected, the dinner turned into a thorough interview about Dean’s love life. Though he tried to act like a jerk, his family could see right through him and teased him more. Charlie pointed out about his scheduled ‘Benny time’ – she quoted – and  _forced_  him to video call Benny. Explaining Benny’s incompetence about technology was futile when Charlie snatched Dean’s phone started to video call Benny.  _I ought to put a password on my damn phone_. Dean thought fondly when the phone started to ring. Surprised. Dean was surprised when Benny answered the call.

“ _Charlie? Why is your face on my phone?_ ”

Dean’s heart melted because of Benny’s innocence. “Hi, Benny.” Charlie greeted happily, face flushed because of wine in her system. “I’ll let you and Dean talk later. Some people here just wanted to meet you.”

With that, Benny officially met his brother and Jess. It was loud but Benny didn’t seem to care about it. When Benny was talking to Charlie and Jess, Sam silently teased his brother about his  _taste_  in men. Dean tried to explain that Benny’s appearance or build had nothing to do with it. He also admitted that he was not actually attracted to men except Benny; it was like he was only  _out_  for Benny. Sam nodded his understanding; still smiling at him like they’re still teenagers, Dean knew there’s something Sam wanted to tell him and he was glad his little brother kept it to himself.

After the girls' interview to Benny, Charlie finally returned the phone to Dean. There's still teasing when he went out to have a little privacy with Benny, finding a secluded spot near the garden, Dean and Benny were finally alone. They talked about almost everything but Dean tried his best not to mention what happened to Victor.

When Dean apologized for missing to call Benny, Benny also apologized because he forgot that phones needed to be charged. Seeing the dark circles bellow Dean's eyes, Benny coaxed him to rest up. Dean yawned long and loud when Benny mentioned bed, rolling his eyes fondly; he complied and ended the call.

Because of the paperwork that needed to be finished in their station, Charlie said that she'll ride a plane, like a normal people would do, to return to Maine. The brothers left after breakfast. Sam offered to do the first shift to let his brother rest a little longer. Whatever was happening to his brother, Sam liked it. It's not like the one he had with Cas where Dean needed to assure him that he's happy, now, he didn't even need to ask because it's obvious in his brother's dumb face. He owed that Benny guy big time.

Reaching Maine, they did what they needed to do. While waiting for Charlie to arrive, Dean visited Rowena from her nursing home and handled the transfer files. She was a feisty redhead whose age confused the hell out of Dean because of her young look.

The day Charlie arrived was the day Sam and Bobby finished the legal files to interview and search inside Kormos Co. Because of what happened to Rufus and Victor, Charlie bought people from Sioux Falls to increase their numbers, though unnecessary, Bobby complied because they’re already there.

Driving Rowena to the airport was a hoot. Dean swore his ears bled after listening to their nonstop talking about random stuff. They even made a scene at the airport for their short meeting and quick departure. It's like a scene from a play, there were dialogues and tears. And Dean swore Charlie just quoted something from Harry Potter. Charlie informed him that there's someone from the station that she instructed to pick Rowena up, so there's nothing to worry about. Now that was settled, Dean and Charlie talked about their plan to finish getting the statements; she told Dean to join Bobby's team to search inside Kormos Co. because he and Sam already did reckon there before. Dean maybe stubborn but Charlie was worse; he had to give up after Charlie started her long lecture and pointed out why Dean was needed more in Bobby's team.

 

* * *

 

Standing outside Kormos Co. without Bobby and Sam, Dean realized he was tricked.  _Sonofabitch_. Bobby and Sam sued Dick Roman the same day they were meant to investigate Kormos Co. He’s with Pamela and other men from the station and local police. Pamela’s assignment was to interrogate workers. Now, Dean was stuck to lead fifteen men to investigate Kormos Co.’s structures.

Dean knew he was never meant to lead. Looking back, he was used working alone or with a partner. _Three’s a crowd_. Dean always said. He was glad that the officers assigned to him were great with following instructions – or hand signals with two to three words of command. That or they were briefed before they came here, Dean wished it's the latter, so there's no need to explain everything they needed to do. Ash was there to jam the signals, preventing the employees to contact people outside when they were working, a double-edged plan because Dean and their group were also affected by it.

Dean tried to contact Benny that night. It’s been a week since they last talked. Though they already talked about him being busy and agreeing that he would be the one to contact Benny, Dean was a little worried because Benny hadn’t picked up his phone when he called him twice that week. Thinking positive, Dean hoped that it was only about the battery of his phone that he forgot to charge.

For a few days, everyone was busy with their assignment and Dean's only source of information was the television, Dick Roman's case was televised, so Dean watched it see how the case was processed. He didn't understand most of the words people used but he saw Bobby and Sam on the television and that's nice. He fell asleep waiting Benny to answer his calls, hearing Roman's speech was the last thing he heard. It was blurry in Dean's head but he's sure Roman was threatening to take down everyone with him.

Another week passed by and Dean hadn’t seen anyone regularly except for Garth who cooked dinner every night.  _What’s up with that? Is he trying to impress someone?_ Garth tried to fill him in about Roman but Dean couldn't seem to understand any of the big words Garth was saying. He was just nodding mechanically every time Garth asked if he understood it. What he caught was that Roman would be jailed for thirty days before he could reach a lawyer. That's it. Garth talked for like an hour and that's all he got. He's tired after a whole day of lugging drugs from the storage. His team confiscated huge boxes of drugs; some were even too concentrated to be sold to an individual buyer like it was meant to be delivered to other dealers.

Pamela entered the kitchen, frantically looking for Dean. She informed him about the information she gathered from the harbormaster about a laboratory underneath a vacation house located in Prentiss Island. The harbormaster stated that the vacation house belonged to Dick Roman. And to confirm this, Pamela contacted Ash to find the document about the title of the land while Charlie handled the warrant.

That morning, Dean assembled his team near the docks; they needed to use a boat to go to Prentiss Island. He was confused about the newscaster and her cameraman who tagged along with them. _Fucking vultures_. He thought when she started to talk in front of the camera. Reaching the island, Dean was mesmerized about the size of houses that were built there. He shook his head and focused on their work.

The house was huge. No one responded when they announced their presence outside, so Dean had to kick the door open. His men shuffled inside, guns raised, preparing for an ambush. When the coast was clear, his team together with the media searched the laboratory. And there it was. Resting inside a tiled room underground were high powered pieces of machinery with tubes and gauges, too complex even for Dean to understand. The smell of bleach and other chemicals filled the room making it harder to breathe.

While his team and the cameraman were busy taking pictures, Dean contacted Pamela to update her about the laboratory, she responded by telling him about the temporary closure of Kormos Co. Because of the big influence of the dock, many businesses around the area would be affected, so they couldn't fully shut its operations.

When cameraman attempted to take a video of him commanding his team, he almost punched him, so he calmed himself before continuing their work. Finished with securing the area, Dean decided to go back to their temporary office, leaving the paperwork to the local police. He made a detour to the diner where he and Benny ate lunch.  _Our first date_. He remembered – totally not smiling at the memory. While waiting for his food, he dialed Benny’s number, hoping Benny might answer this time. Still nothing.  _What the hell, Benny_. It’s been two and a half weeks now and Dean was getting worried.

When his food arrived, the infomercial from the television ended and Dean heard Dick Roman’s name. Turning his attention to the television, he saw his brother holding up a picture of Benny, explaining something about an incident that happened twenty years ago. Leslie Webber was there at the court with Edgar and another man.  _I should’ve read the files_. Dean thought, curiously watching the trial. As it turned out, the other man was Victor Laurie, Edgar’s partner in crime while working under Roman.

Smiling like an idiot, Dean ate his food feeling proud of his brother. Sam presented every evidence, files, and statements like professional. _Dad will be proud_. Dean was shocked to that thought of his. He finished his food in silence, watching his brother on television, Bobby was sitting beside him, reading the files his brother was presenting and occasionally glancing at him with pride in his eyes.  _Of course, Bobby's also proud_.

After paying the bill, Dean left with a coffee to go in his hand, sipping it slowly, he remembered how Benny’s eyes widened whenever the prison served  _coffee_  every morning. Climbing up the car, he contemplated ditching his job to pay Benny a visit. Benny wouldn't be amused by the idea of him doing that and the fact he hadn’t asked the man’s address made it even more complicated.  _Please don’t let me track you down, Benny. Charge your fucking phone. What the hell happened? I should call Elizabeth, wait, I don’t have her number_. He drove back to where they were staying, thinking about bribing Charlie to track Benny’s phone.

The moment Dean stepped inside the house, mixtures of delicious aroma invaded his nostrils making his mouth water.  _Home_. The smell of food made him remember home. He knew Garth couldn't cook like this, not that he didn’t appreciate the man’s cooking, but the smell of coming out from the kitchen made his stomach grumble, though he just ate lunch thirty minutes ago.

Walking towards the kitchen, Dean stopped when he saw a familiar figure stirring the pot. "Ellen," Dean said, crossing the room to give her a hug. "What are you doing here?"

“Cooking.” She deadpanned.

“Smart.” Dean rolled his eyes, maneuvering his body to check what’s inside the pot.  _Chili?_   _Awesome_. “No, seriously, El.”

“I just wanted to visit you all. And Pam said she’s sick with takeaways.” Turning around, she stirred the chili. Dean took a deep breath beside her, inhaling the aroma, shoulders starting to relax. “Hey, how’s Benny? I can’t contact him for a while now.”

"What do you mean, you guys are talking everyday right," Dean swore there was no hint of jealousy in his voice when he said that. Ellen consumed most of the battery of Benny's phone during their break time and that was the reason he believed in for not reaching Benny.

"Yes, we talked every day but one day later I can't seem to contact his phone." She grabbed a spoon and scooped a generous amount of chili from the pot and raised it for Dean to taste. Dean obliged and moaned at the taste. That reaction was enough feedback for Ellen to turn off the stove and close the lid of the pot.

“When was the last time you last talked?” Dean asked curiously. He always thought Benny and Ellen were talking every day while he was busy working. If Benny’s phone was not dead every time he tried to call him. And Ellen couldn't contact him during the day, then what the hell happened?

“At least three weeks.” Ellen’s face was painted with confusion. “You can’t also contact him?” She asked but it was more like a statement. She didn’t wait for Dean to reply because the man’s expression already answered her question.  She started to rummage around the kitchen trying to find something, only to stop when she found microwavable containers. “You know where he lives?” Ellen asked, without looking at Dean, she opened the pot of chili and transferred its content to one of the containers.

“Not exactly. I know it's somewhere New Orleans, Louisiana." Dean observed Ellen move around the kitchen with haste. Ellen opened the oven and took out a tray of loaves of bread. "What are you doing?" Dean finally asked.

“I’m packing you food for your trip.”

Confused, Dean grabbed Ellen’s shoulders, holding her in one place. “What trip?”

Ellen raised both of her hands to cup Dean’s face and looked him in the eyes. “Are you kidding me right now?” She shook Dean’s head. “Your trip to New Orleans you idiot.” Dean tried not to correct Ellen’s pronunciation of the word ‘idjit’ and he’s really proud of that. “Go find your hubby.” With that, Dean’s hold loosened and Ellen started to move again.

“I still got--”

Dean’s reason was cut off when Ellen raised her hand. “Dean,” She started, her voice was stern and Dean felt like he was a child in trouble. “I’m worried about that man. Aren’t you worried?” She asked.

“I am but--”

“But what?” Ellen interjected, slamming the container on the table. "You're working? What kind of reason is that?" Ellen's voice started to rise. "Is your work more important than him? You're more than that, Dean." Lowering her voice, she started to walk towards Dean and squeezed his arms. Dean nodded, finally getting her point. "Eat first before you leave. I'll explain everything to Bobby later."

 _Huh, looks like I can visit Benny without explaining myself_. Grabbing a bowl, Dean served himself some chili, thinking about Charlie’s schedule to ask her a favor. Speaking of the devil, the front door opened and Charlie’s voice echoed inside the house. “Ellen!” There were shuffling of feet inside the house, sound of bags being carelessly dropped, a heavy thud and some colorful curses coming from Charlie. “Sup.” Bracing herself using the wall, Charlie said nonchalantly as though nothing happened before she reached the kitchen.

Smirking, Dean asked with a mouthful of chili. “What happened?” That earned him a finger from Charlie who hugged Ellen warmly.

“You hungry?” Ellen asked.

"Famished," Charlie answered with exaggeration. Sitting across Dean, she slumped down in her chair. She frowned at Dean who's glancing at her while stuffing his face with chili. "What do you want, Dean." Grabbing a piece of bread from the tray, she split it in half.

With his mouthful, Ellen did the talking for him. She explained to Charlie about their problem with Benny and her plan. Charlie listened intently while slowly chewing her bread. Grabbing the bowl from Ellen, she said that it’s possible to locate Benny through his phone. Charlie also told Ellen about seeing every night Dean sleeping in front of the television who looked miserable while clutching his phone in his sleep.

"You're leaving after this, right?" Charlie asked while dipping her bread in chili. "I'll just message you the location, so you don't need to wait for me."

Nodding his answer, Dean wondered what the hell happened. These women made a decision for him, and for the first time, he didn’t really care. He’s so busy working he couldn't even think about what he needed except Benny, damn it, he missed that man badly. Ellen knew what’s best for him while Charlie wanted him to be happy.

The scenario happening in the kitchen was the same when Dean hit rock bottom after breaking up with Castiel. Ellen, trying her best to make sure he was eating well while Charlie was keeping him company to distract him from reaching a bottle. He didn't question everything they did for him and he also didn't thank them for their kindness. He's felt like an ungrateful bastard and it hurt not realizing that he was loved back then. Everyone was surprisingly supportive of him, even Bobby for his life choices. "Thank you." He whispered quietly but enough for both women to hear. Charlie and Ellen stopped what they were doing to look at him and smile warmly that felt like a hug enveloping his body with love.

Ellen circled the table and hugged him from behind, kissing his head like she always did. He leaned in from the touch and held Ellen's arms. Clearing her throat to get their attention, Charlie swallowed her food before speaking. "You know what, I _really_  wanted to hug you, too, but Ellen’s chili is really bitching.” She emphasized by opening her mouth to take a spoonful of chili.

When he safely positioned the food on the passenger seat, Ellen assured him that he’ll handle Bobby herself while Charlie made an obscene hand and tongue motion behind her. Dean made a disgusted face when an image of Bobby and Ellen doing stuff flashed his mind. Rolling her eyes, Charlie pointed at him and mouthed ‘Benny' to clarify what she meant and wiggled her eyebrows. Dean's face flushed red after understanding the message. It's been awhile.

After waving goodbye to Ellen and Charlie, Dean floored the gas. Thinking about what Charlie did, Dean considered stopping to get some  _supplies_. He’d been thinking about it for awhile even before Charlie pointed it out, imagining Benny squirming beneath him and moaning his name was one of his hottest dreams, but thinking of Benny manhandling him just like their first time in prison when the man pushed him against the wall face first and rutting behind him made his cock twitch in anticipation especially when he remembered that pleasurable slide of Benny’s length in his ass. That felt exciting and considering the size of Benny’s cock made him scared in a good way.

But after three weeks of no word from Benny, Dean would demand an explanation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song mention was Lady Antebellum's [ Home](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PupN5PRStHg)
> 
> Feed backs and constructive criticisms are greatly appreciated for my growth. So please, don't hold back.


	12. Almost Too Late

It was two AM, tired and confused, Dean almost threw his phone away when he checked the address Charlie gave him on the map the seventh time. Getting frustrated, he got out of the car to stretch his legs and breathe some fresh air. Standing in the middle of highway fifty-five, Louisiana, Dean looked around the empty highway; he was nowhere near New Orleans, he just entered Hammond when he last looked at the map.

Dean bit his lips and contemplated if he needed to call his best friend, knowing it was after two, and Charlie was probably tired of the court trial, he climbed inside the Impala and drove towards the nearest precinct for information.

He was quite shocked when one of the scheduled police officers at the station knew the infamous Guidry's Cajun Café and informed him that the diner he was looking for was actually in New Orleans, he thanked them and head out. "Try their Jambalaya." The police shouted from the precinct. Scratching the back of his head, Dean wondered how the hell the GPS brought him out on the outskirt of Hammond. _One problem at a time, Dean_. He told himself and hit the road.

After reaching New Orleans, Dean stopped in a twenty-four seven department store to gather his  _supplies_. He’s ready. The cashier even gave him two thumbs up when she saw the bottle of lube he tried to hide underneath the licorice and jerky. He just gave her a tight smile, trying not to blush. He’s thirty-two for fuck’s sake, why was he getting embarrassed purchasing such stuff. Dean swore he’d never walked too fast in his life when he dashed his way out of the store after paying. Tossing the bag in the passenger seat, Dean continued to find the address.

An hour of searching the address the officer gave; Dean finally saw it, Guidry’s Cajun Café. It’s almost five and the sun was peeking at the horizon. Walking towards the diner, Dean was relieved it’s open early in the morning. A strong brewed coffee hit him awake when he entered the premises. If he woke up every morning to this kind of coffee, he’ll be a morning person for sure.

The sound the bell caught the attention of a woman arranging the chairs of the tables. “Dean!” It was Elizabeth. “How are you?” She hugged him warmly, though they were not that really close, Dean felt he knew her long enough after Benny talked about her enthusiastically. “Are you here to get Benny’s stuff?”

Confused at the question, Dean craned his neck slightly to look at Elizabeth's face. "I'm here to... what?"

"Take Benny's stuff." She told him slowly, her face was unreadable to Dean. "Benny's with you, right." Elizabeth's voice was cracking with worry, hands resting on her chest as though she was praying.

 _Oh, no_. “Benny’s not with me.” He almost shouted, but he caught his composure fast.

Elizabeth pulled a chair and sat down, hands resting beside the head, eyes looking at the floor. "Oh, God. No, no, no." She stood up and started pacing the diner.

"What happened, Elizabeth? Tell me." Dean never liked it, but he used his authoritative voice. He hated using it, it's not just he sounded dominant but people tend to flinch away from him. A few minutes ago, he was fine. What the hell happened?

Sensing the worry in Dean’s raised voice, Elizabeth stood her ground. “Sit,” She ordered, pointing at the stool near the counter. “I got a feeling you still haven’t eaten yet. And it’s quite a long story.” She drawled and walked towards the kitchen.

Now that Elizabeth mentioned it, Dean heard his stomach rumble. Yes, he was hungry. But not knowing what happened to Benny took away his appetite.  _Never say no to grace_. Ellen’s voice echoed in his head.  _It’s free food_. Charlie’s voice followed after. He shook his head, trying to compose himself.

While waiting for the pan to warm up, Elizabeth served Dean a cup of coffee. She started her story the day she and Benny returned from Maine. They spent their first-day shopping; she bought Benny his first cell phone and spent another whole day for him to understand its basic functions. Benny adjusted fast working in her diner as a cook; people complimented his food and asked about him. That’s the part where Elizabeth screwed up.

Too honest, Elizabeth told her customers that Benny was discharged from prison. The news spread fast like wildfire, people started to boycott her diner. She tried to comfort Benny for blaming himself for the failing business. And Benny didn't mention to her about how he was treated when he bought supplies from the market, sometimes _politely_  kicking him out of their stores. She only discovered it when she had to buy the supplies herself; hearing people gossip about her cousin felt like someone filleted her gut.

Discovering that was just Benny's first week. Dean dreaded what treatment Benny suffered. What Dean didn't understand was why Benny did try to hide how people interacted with him. The Benny he knew talks, a very open person, so there must be something behind his unusual behavior.

Elizabeth came out from the kitchen placing a plate of omelet and toast in front of Dean. She continued her story about Benny’s second week when someone overheard her conversation with Benny about Dean. Elizabeth knew what people were thinking and tried to lie that Dean was a girl. People didn’t buy her story and started taunting Benny about his boyfriend. Elizabeth was saddened about that because some people were just plain close-minded. Dean didn’t comment on that, he remembered coming out before, but Castiel begged him not to tell anyone about their relationship because people wouldn't understand. He’s wrong if they’re talking about people in their office, but he’s right if they lived in this place.

Taking a deep breath, Elizabeth told Dean about Benny coming home with bruises. She told that Benny didn't fight back when three men dragged him in an alley behind the fish market and beat him there. And it took a lot of convincing from her for Benny, to tell the truth. Apparently, the men threatened him that they'll call a police when he fought back. An ex-con who was new in town beating people up was Benny's own reason not to fight back. Two days after that, still limping, was when Benny told Elizabeth that Dean called and he wanted to visit him. _Benny lied? Why?_

Painfully swallowing the food in front of him, Dean thanked Elizabeth for the breakfast and filling him about what happened. Elizabeth gave her number to Dean if he found out what happened to Benny. Based on Elizabeth’s story, Benny ran away two days before the arrest of Dick Roman.

Dean saw some security cameras installed around the town when searching the diner, hoping that they were working; he went to the local police station to look at the clips.

 

* * *

  

“Sorry, we can’t let you do that, sir.” The sheriff said apologetically to Dean.

Annoyed, Dean resorted using his Bobby trump card and called his foster father to do the talking. "I'll contact my supervisor and I'll let you guys talk." He dialed Bobby's number and explained his situation a little; he then passed the phone to the sheriff after coaxing to say that Benny was under witness protection – he had never thought he could think of an excuse so fast his entire life. Minutes later, the sheriff apologized and let Dean look at the camera footage.

The sheriff, Donna Hanscum, even offered to be his temporary assistant to help him operate the computer and video files. She made a hand signal to her men and seconds later there were donuts and coffee in the office. Now, Dean felt guilty raising his voice earlier when he took a jelly donut. After setting up the computer, Donna waved her hand to inform Dean that everything was ready.

Wanting to see who beat Benny up, Dean looked first at the camera footage in front of the fish market. He saw it. Three men crowded Benny; they dragged him towards the back alley and came out a few minutes later. Benny came out later limping, bracing himself against the wall. “What the fuck was that.” He pointed at the screen, police officers who were with him watching the video behind him were frozen. “Do you tolerate that kind of behavior in this town?” He questioned. Not waiting for their reply, he returned his attention back to the files and searched the day where Benny left.

"Is that Benjamin Lafitte?" Donna asked when the video took a clear view of Benny's face. "He's on the news, the man the governor from Maine used as an escape goat twenty years ago." Dean didn't understand most of the things Sam said every trial. And he knew that Sam didn't mention using the word escape goat when he presented the Benjamin Lafitte files. It was all Donna's observation of the trial. Dean was glad that some people understood Benny's story.

 _I like her_. Dean thought but didn't comment; he focused on the video where Benny was being followed by the same group of men. "You know who those men were? I want them here." He ordered. Donna signaled and two officers went out. "Fuck." Dean cursed, catching Donna's attention. The donut's sugary bliss expired at what he witnessed. Under his calm demeanor, Dean was seething with anger.

Donna’s eyes widened when one of the men knocked Benny unconscious, two men sat him on a bench while the other one took off. Minutes later, a truck stopped in front of them and they hauled Benny inside the truck. Looking at the time on the bottom right corner of the video, the Donna gasped.  _9:12 PM._ "Our shift ends every nine o'clock, someone mustn't notice that because there is fifteen minutes grace period." She admitted embarrassedly. "I'm so sorry, agent." Dean didn't reply.

The sound of tires crunching on the gravel outside caught Dean's attention. "You got them?" His eyes were cold, looking at the officer standing outside the office, desperate for the truth; Dean stood up and readied himself to do the thing he hadn't done in a long time. He didn't mind playing bad cop if someone important was on the line. Snapping his fingers to get his temporary assistant's attention, he ordered. "Please, try your best to follow where that truck is going. I don't doubt my interrogation skills but go focused your attention on Lafitte if you saw him." Not waiting for her response, Dean followed the officer leaning against the frame of the door.

Sitting across him were the three men caught in the camera assaulting Benny, cuffed behind the chair. “Where’s Benny?” Voice cold, eyes even colder, Dean asked.

"We don't know who's you're talking about." The skinny blond said Dean remembered him from the video, he held Benny's feet while positioning him on the bench.

Dean stood up and slowly walked behind them; he reached on the hand of the guy wearing a bonnet – the one who knocked Benny out – and broke his little finger. The guy screamed with pain and cursed in French while glaring at him – he knew what he said because Benny taught him some French curses back in the prison. "You can't do that!" He hissed between his teeth.

Looking at the blond guy coldly, Dean broke bonnet’s ring finger, earning him another howl. “I can. Let me repeat my question, where’s Benny?” His hands dropped above the shoulder of the blond guy, feeling pleased when the guy tensed in his touch.

“I-I… We don’t know.” The blond stuttered.  _Sure, you don’t know_. Dean thought. He hated liars the most.

Sighing heavily, Dean squeezed the shoulder before returning behind bonnet guy. He arched an eyebrow toward blond and reached on the middle finger. Bonnet looked at his friend, shaking with adrenaline. "Tell him!" Bonnet shouted. Dean snapped the finger and grabbed the index finger. "Fucking tell him, Peter!"

Dean let go of the finger and returned to his seat. He looked at the third guy, who was sweating like a pig and smiled mischievously at him. "Seven more fingers and you're next." Dean eyed blond guy and returned his gaze back to thirdy. "I'll let you go if you tell me where Benny is." Thirdy was the one driving the truck, so he's sure the guy would talk after what happened to Bonnet.

"Thibodaux. We dropped him out of Thibodaux." Thirdy confessed, sounding defeated, blond shot daggers at him.

“Why?” Dean asked the million dollar question calmly.

Then, the fun started.

Dean knew it was wrong, but the men wouldn't cooperate, so he needed to squeeze the information out himself. Bonnet confessed that he threw the phone out of Hammond, explaining the wrong GPS location. What bothered Dean the most was the suited man who gave them the money to ditch Benny somewhere. Luckily for them, Dean only did minimum damage, but the faces of the officers said otherwise. He explained that someone paid those three to hide Benjamin Lafitte who's under protection, which was a beautiful lie that the people at the police station believe because of the news about his connection to Dick Roman.

True to their words, the Donna informed Dean that Benny was seen in Thibodaux and a few days ago. She played a video of someone with the same coat and hat sleeping on the park bench and they both saw two teenagers probing the sleeping figure. Dean's gut churned at the scene a few seconds later, the teenagers took Benny's pack and ran away. _Why would kids do that?_  Dean knew there was a reason behind that but he’s too angry to care.

Clearing her throat beside him, she said that there's another video of Benny's in the city. She was hesitant to show the video but Dean persuaded her. The camera was set behind a restaurant and there's a movement behind the dumpster. Benny was rummaging in the trash, though it was obvious what Benny was looking inside those trash bins, Dean held himself together to finish the video.

Regretting his decision, Dean saw a group of men saw Benny eating what he found in the trash. Benny held his hands up, but the men still crowded him. Dean was trembling with anger when he saw Benny begged. There was no sound but the hand gestures told the men that _‘I’ll walk away. I’m not bothering anyone. Please, don’t.’_ Benny took off his hat and clutched it in his chest, balling his body for protection while waiting for the impending doom. Dean stood up before the first kick even landed.

It was dark when Dean left the station.  _How long did was I in there?_  He thought to himself, totally forgetting lunch and dinner. His heart raced fast. He didn’t even bother to notify he was leaving until the station’s door swung open. “Agent Winchester!” His assistant, the sheriff, hollered behind him. To be honest, Dean wanted to turn around and explain why he needed help, but the more time he wasted mean more time Benny was spending out there. He just saluted to give a silent ‘thank you’ before climbing up the Impala.

Dean saw himself in the rearview mirror, his eyes were hollowed and he looked tired. He’d been awake for thirty-two hours, assuming he’ll meet Benny at the diner. His eyes started to water when his eyes fall at the bag resting on the passenger seat. With shaking hands, he fished his phone from his jacket and dialed Charlie’s number.

“ _Hey, Dude. What’s up?_ ” Charlie chirped over the phone.

He tried explaining to her what happened to Benny, how she understood his sentences was a mystery, and how she could help him find Benny. Participating in a car accident was the last thing Dean needed to do at the moment, so he wiped the tears in his eyes using the sleeves of his jacket. When his eyes were not fogged by the tears, he started the car and speeded towards Thibodaux, unaware of the car tailing him.

 

*******

 

Hearing Dean’s broken voice; she shuffled from her desk and listened intently. “Tell me how.” Charlie tone was firm and determined. She may not be the best agent in the field – a humble lie – but she’s the best in her own special ways.

Charlie managed to decipher Dean’s sobbing sentences.

‘ _H-he’s at Thi-thibo-daux. I-I c-c-cant search t-the whole city a-alone, Charlie. Th-there’s n-no t-time_.’

She managed to get what information she needed to start searching. She wanted to tell Dean to get his bearings first before driving, but she knew Dean wouldn't stop. After successfully hacking the cameras around the city, Charlie watched the back of the restaurant Dean told her about Benny was last seen. She skipped the gut-wrenching part and saw Benny staggering to stand, supporting himself using the trash bins. Closing her eyes, she prayed for Benny's safety and some strength to find her best friend's boyfriend.

Starting from the park, Charlie shouted when she saw a familiar figure sleeping on the bench. Aware that her shout probably boomed all throughout the house, she ignored Pamela’s rant about beauty sleep and grabbed her phone from her desk. She called Dean, hoping her best would friend pulled over or at least slowed down before answering.  _If you die just like how your father died, you’re dead to me Winchester._

“Put me on speakerphone and focus on the road.” She ordered, not bullshitting around about traffic rules. “I got my eyes on him at the moment. He’s sleeping, I think, at the park.”

“ _Just sleeping?_ ” Dean sounded like he calmed down a bit.  _Good_. Charlie thought.

“At the moment, yeah. He’s sleeping.” A dark figure standing idly behind the bushes caught Charlie’s attention making her gasped in surprise.  _Please don’t be a ghost_. She pleaded. The figure was still there, looking around before returning its attention back to Benny.

“ _Charlie, what’s wrong?_ ” Dean probably heard her surprised gasp.

Debating if she’ll tell Dean what she saw, she bit her fingernails and it took a couple of seconds before she opted to tell the truth. “There’s someone… looking at him… just looking…”  _Oh, shit._ The dark figure, a man, walked slowly towards the bench Benny currently occupying. Charlie was certain Benny heard the movement because he shuffled off the bench. She's guessing plenty of people tried to sneak on Benny while sleeping and honed his hearing. Either that or Benny learned to sleep lightly because of these kinds of stuff. Whatever the answer, Charlie didn't want to know.

“ _Charlie, are you still there?_ ” Dean’s question barely registered inside Charlie’s head. She was looking hard to see the man’s features.

 _Huh. That man looked familiar_. Charlie knew she saw that man before, not caring when or where she remembered he was trouble. _Think, Charlie._  Encouraging herself, she enumerated bits and pieces of information triggering her memory.  _Something that concerns hospitals... Rufus... Shaved head… Shit…_

Benny stood up from the bench and walked away from the man. There's no reason to fight when you're tired and hungry. Glancing over his shoulders, he knew he was being followed and walked faster without consuming most of his strength. The best thing he knew that'll help fend off the man was to stay somewhere else where there were other people to witness, a public place like in front of a restaurant or a store, he learned it the hard way. But it's dark. He figured that no place was open at the moment and the streets were empty.

Charlie watched every movement Benny made using the camera installed in the city but mostly focusing on the man she knew was dangerous. Distracted by switching to a different camera, she only got a glimpse of how Benny fell to the ground like a sack of potatoes.

 

*******

 

Somehow Dean arrived at Thibodaux without any incident after flooring the gas. He’d calmed himself enough to appreciate the power of his baby, halving the travel time to reach his destination. Disturbed by Charlie’s silence, he grabbed his phone from the dashboard. When he noticed that the phone was too quiet, he spared a second to look at the phone. _Fuck._

His phone died. Its battery was emptied. He'd been using his phone nonstop since he got the GPS location from Charlie and not stopping to a motel to rest, obviously forgetting to charge it. _Sonofabitch_. His phone was his only way to communicate with Charlie. Without it, he’ll be back to square one, blindly finding Benny in a big city.  _Wait_. Dean thought, trying to remember where Charlie saw Benny.  _Was he at the park?_

Glad that he’s thinking straight at the moment, he chose to ask direction in a gas stop than circling the whole city to find the park, saving him some precious time. He grabbed some food, the microwavable ones, knowing Benny was hungry and a cup of coffee for himself. He’s hungry, yes, but that’ll wait until he found his boyfriend.

The park was located in the center of the city, a five-minute drive from the gas stop; he downed his coffee fast – burning his tongue in the process, wanting to be alert to spot Benny if he decided to move from the park. Reaching the park, he climbed out of the car and started to jog around the park. "Benny!" He called out. "Benny, it's me!" No response.

 _There’s someone… looking at him… just looking…_ Dean remembered the last thing he heard from Charlie.

Dean circled the park twice before he saw a pair of tracks. _Someone’s following Benny_. Studying the tracks, he found out that Benny tried to increase his pace to distance himself from his  _stalker_. If he and Benny had the same mindset, Benny would probably stay somewhere public. But it's quite impossible at the moment considering the streets were empty and most buildings were closed. He needed to find him fast.

The tracks reached the street but it’s constantly fading. Looking up, Dean thought of the possibility of Benny trying to hide somewhere in an alley and losing the stalker there. Benny’s smart. He would never let the man corner him. While scanning the area, hoping he might get a glimpse of someone, there’s an object lying on the ground, reflecting the weak light of the streetlamp which caught Dean’s attention. Curious, Dean jogged where the object lay on the ground.  _Is that a…_  Dean extended his hand to pick it up and inspect it closely but his instinct kicked in on time to stop himself from touching it. He already knew what it was. It’s a fucking bullet shell.

Thanks to the ringing payphone nearby, the fear starting to build inside of Dean was replaced by confusion.  _How the hell does that ancient thing still work?_ Dean thought but a couple of seconds later, he knew why or more specifically, who.  _Charlie._ He ran to answer the phone fast, hoping Charlie knew what happened. Picking the receiver, he quickly placed it in his ear.

“ _You got your gun?_ ” Charlie asked through the phone. No bullshit. Straight to the point.

Cupping his chest holster concealed by his jacket, he felt his gun, its weight was almost forgotten. _Thank heavens_. "Yes," Dean answered. He hoped Charlie saw everything through the cameras, so he waited for her to continue.

“ _Four blocks to your right. Enter the alley next to a tattoo parlor. Run, you have no time--_ ”

Dean didn't finish Charlie's next sentence because he started running towards the direction she just gave. Breathing through his nose, he ignored the burning sensation in his lungs. Panic surges inside of him while flashes of scenarios run through his imaginative head. _Stalker. Bullet. Alley. No time. Benny. Blood everywhere._  He drew his gun from its holster while calming himself. It was about Benny and Dean knew he couldn't mess it up. Benny suffered enough. Benny didn’t deserve any of this. Benny.  _Benny_ …

Dean made a sudden stop at the corner just before he entered the alley. Leaning his back against a brick wall, he took a deep breath, trying to remember everything he learned from years of experience and one of it was staying calm. He may not be good at confrontation just like his brother and his best friend. But this. This was his thing.

 _‘I’m sorry about this.’_  A voice coming out from the alley, it almost sounded apologetic but there was a hint of something Dean couldn't put his finger on. Taking one last breath, he raised his gun and entered the alley.

Adjusting his eyes to the dim lighting of the alley, Dean saw a man holding a gun and pointing it downwards. Following where the gun was pointed, he saw a figure wearing a familiar coat slumped on the ground, upper back leaning against a dumpster.

“Freeze!” Dean bellowed when he heard the gun cocked. He wanted to shoot the man dead but information about why and who sent him was important.  _Shoot first, ask later_. Sam commented on how he acted before. This was different, though. The man jerked from where he was standing and pointed his gun at Dean. "I said, freeze!" _You piece of shit_. Slowly walking towards the man, he saw Benny rolled his head to look at him.  _I‘m here, Benny_.

“I’m a cop.” The man argued. “This  _trash_ here is the criminal." Dean's finger itches to pull the trigger hearing those words and it took most of his willpower to prevent that from happening.

Dean wondered why there were people like this one who handled the justice in their own hands.  _Fucking cop_. Snorting to himself, he was kind of amused to that kind of excuse.  _Impersonating an officer. That's a big no-no mister._ Dean might be talking to himself but he’d never been more alert in his life.

“Why are you going to shoot him then?” Hands steady, Dean was never letting his guard down.

"Because there's a chance he'll do it again." Dean didn't respond, keeping his steady pace to have a better shot if the man tried to do something crazy. He remembered something that Bobby might have said before about crazy criminals never thinking twice about killing someone. And just what he expected, the man shot the ground to stop Dean from moving and pointed the gun at Benny. Dean hesitated to shoot the man for a second and it was his biggest mistake.

A gunshot echoed through the alley, almost deafening Dean. Time seemed to slow down when that happened. He thought the man shot Benny but he was disarmed instead. The gun flew in the air, and he clutched his hand while hissing in pain. Ready to flee, knowing he couldn't fight back anymore, the man attempted turned around and that’s when Dean pulled the trigger and shot him in the arm.  _It’s was wrong to shot someone from behind_. Dean remembered what his father taught him.

When the man stumbled to the ground, squirming in pain, Dean sprinted to kick the gun away for safety measures before kneeling beside Benny. Slowly, he helped Benny sit up straight, who's wincing every little bit of movement. "I know this is a ridiculous question, but are you hurt? Tell me." He was proud he said that without cracking his voice. With a shaking hand, he grabbed the hat and tucked it away inside his jacket.

With half-lidded eyes, Benny looked at Dean with utmost adoration. He wanted to hug the man, who's currently draping his arm over his shoulder to help him stand up, but he's tired to the bones. Benny never imagined getting shot would drain him like that. And he should probably warn Dean about his injury. "The guy shot me." He slurred.

He wanted to kiss Benny badly, just like how he saw in every movie he watched, but he held himself together.

“Nice shot, agent Winchester.” Two figures were visible walking from the entrance of the alley, a man and a woman in uniform. The woman knelt to the other side of Benny while her associate started to cuff the shooter. “Is he injured?”

Dean didn’t remember her voice, but now that he had a better view of her face, it all came back to him. It’s Sheriff Hunscum. He wanted to ask why she was in Thibodaux but Benny’s condition was not getting any better. “That asshat shot him.” Cupping Benny’s face, he waited for Benny to look at him. “Where?” He asked softly.

"Back... Shoulder..." Benny's head started to fall forward, but Dean's steady hand kept it from falling. "Glad you're here," Benny whispered, eyes started to close slowly but he's obviously trying to fight it.

Donna fished out a knife somewhere hidden in her body and grabbed the collar of Benny's coat. "Don't," Dean said firmly when he realized what she's about to do. Benny's coat was important to him, so tearing it was not an option. _I need to patch him up_. Bringing Benny to the hospital may be the best option but something inside of Dean wanted to fix Benny himself. “Help me bring him in my car. I’ll patch him up.”  _Myself_.

Dean saw how Donna's mouth opened and closes, he knew she wanted to protest but complied with his demand. Slowly, she helped Dean pull Benny upward, though her grip was strong, she was careful with Benny's wound. _That was easy_. Dean thought when Benny was fully draped over him. He maneuvered their position, with the help of Donna, so he could carry Benny piggyback style. Mouthing a silent ‘thank you’ to the sheriff, she gave him a small smile before making a beeline towards the other officer.

He knew his strength was not coming from his adrenaline. Benny was a big man and it was a mystery how he could carry a big bear of a man like Benny. "You're strong," Benny mumbled in his ear, nuzzling his nose against the skin of his neck. Amused how Benny still can lighten the mood after what just happened, Dean chuckled lowly while adjusting Benny on his back.

“You’re just light.” His chuckles slowly died after processing what he just said.  _Of fucking course_. Benny hadn’t eaten normal meals for the past two to three weeks. His boyfriend lost most of his body mass but he could still feel the muscle underneath the clothing.

 _Patch. Food. Shower_. Dean enumerated what Benny needed.  _Wait, we need a place. Is there a motel nearby? No. I’ll bring him somewhere better. Maybe a hotel_.

People started coming out from the buildings. Two gunshots would probably the reason why. Wanting to get out of there as fast as he could without getting attention, he strode through the crowd who were curious about the cuffed man being escorted inside a patrol car. Not exactly sure where he could find a hotel, Dean found an opportunity to ask one of the civilians about a nearby hotel.

"Excuse me, ma'am," Dean asked politely, trying to steady Benny behind his back who mumbled a ‘what a gentleman' near his neck. That relaxed Dean a little knowing Benny still had the strength to tease him. "Do you know where can I find a place to stay? Like a hotel."

The woman gave him a soft motherly look, just like what Ellen gave to him, and silently inspected the man he was carrying without giving any comment. "Just a couple of blocks away from here there's a hotel." She pointed where he came running near the park. "You won't miss it. It's just across the park." There's a hint of hesitation on her face that Dean didn't miss. "Want me to drive you there?" She asked, determined to help them.

“Sure, that would be awesome.” Dean breathed out. “Thank you…”

“Lenore.” She supplied, smiling warmly at Dean.

“Thank you, Lenore.”

 

* * *

 

After making a detour to grab Dean's stuff in his car, he and Benny were finally settled in their room, that had a two separate bed – Lenore insisted for their sake. Benny was still conscious when Dean started to strip him down. _Food can wait_. He instructed Benny to lie on his stomach for him to, apparently, remove the bullet in his shoulder.

It took two shots of scotch and a teasing remark from Benny for Dean to finally start removing the bullet. With the guys in his station, he didn’t give a rat’s ass whenever he patched them up, but with Benny, he seemed hesitant with his skill. Dean tried to ignore the patches of purple and yellow bruises scattered around Benny’s back and focused disinfecting the wound. ‘ _Just do it. What are you, a wuss?_ ’ Benny hissed through his clenched teeth.

With that, Dean flipped the switch in his head and auto-piloted everything, ignoring the whimpers escaping Benny's mouth. Dean saw the rapid rise and fall of Benny's back, trying to catch his breath when he pulled out the bullet. But they're not yet done. He needed to sew the wound to close it. After disinfecting the wound one more time, he warned Benny about the ‘little' pain. Not really wanting to hurt Benny more, Dean worked fast but meticulously, humming Black Sabbath to filter the sound coming out of Benny and to calm himself up.

Now that’s Benny’s all patched up, Dean heated the food he bought earlier in the microwave while rummaging some clothes for Benny.

“Come on, Benny. Don’t hold back.” Dean said after observing how Benny tried to savor the food. He bought enough to feed at least ten people, knowing Benny was starving.

“I need to take it slow, cher. Body might reject the food. I don’t want to throw it all up later.” Benny reasoned.

 _Of course_. Dean, of all people, forgot how a starved body worked. Remembering those weeks he tried to ration out food for him and Sam, he convinced his brother that he's not hungry for him to eat the last serving of Lucky Charms, stretching the two-week allowance to a month. Benny might've done the same thing with his little brother to have that kind of knowledge.

They finished their dinner without any  _casualty_  and Dean herded Benny, whose energy returned after eating, inside the bathroom to wash up. He’ll just replace the bandage after the shower.

“Let me.” Dean offered while pulling down Benny’s slacks and boxer, who currently standing under the showerhead, bracing himself against the wall. That was the first time Dean saw Benny butt naked. Though Benny was full of bruises, he looked perfect in Dean’s eyes.

Dean turned the knob of the shower, forgetting that he's still fully clothed as he reached for the shower gel and started lathering Benny's back, careful not to apply pressure to the bruises. Benny was leaning to his touch, humming contently to the amazing water pressure. He was glad that he chose a hotel, not some dingy motel that probably didn't offer a hot shower.

After thoroughly scrubbing Benny’s back, he circled his arms to reach the front part of his boyfriend – his clothed chest was flushed against Benny’s back. While softly kissing Benny’s shoulder, Dean playfully flicked a nipple whenever his hands traveled Benny’s hairy chest. When Dean reached down, he’s not shocked when he found Benny’s member hard. Trying to focus on cleaning Benny, Dean grabbed the tube of shampoo; he was squirting it in his hand when Benny turned around to face him with a somehow soft teasing smile. The bruises under the unkempt beard were now visible to Dean.

He reached up to clean Benny's hair while Benny was scrubbing his armpits and arms. His breath hitched when Benny started to play with his nipple and slowly tugging his length. "Miss me much?" He asked as he pushed Benny back under the spray of the shower to rinse him.

"You have no idea, chief," Benny said, tearing his shirt open – miraculously not popping any button off in the process, then started working on his belt.

Dean wanted to protest, knowing Benny was tired after everything, but he couldn't deny what the man wanted because he wanted it too. To know Benny was with him physically. Somewhere deep inside of him wanted to fuck Benny from behind against the wall while Benny moaned his name but because of his boyfriend's abused body, he tucked that idea at the back of his head. They'll figure something out.

After rinsing Benny's head, Dean heard a guttural laugh from Benny. Arching an eyebrow, Benny tipped his head downwards to show him that he's commando under his jeans. Dean just smiled while shedding his shirt off and stepping out of his jeans after toeing his boots. Benny's laugh ceased down when Dean was fully naked in front of him. Both men looked at each other for a few seconds before Dean leaned forward to capture Benny's lips with his.

The kiss was soft, softer than what they usually share. It was full of passion, emotion, and unspoken promises. An action does speak louder than voice.

Dean slowly pulled away, locking eyes with the man he loved, emotions started to spill over his façade. With trembling lips, he looked back what happened earlier. _I almost lost Benny_. “I’m glad you’re fine. Not exactly fine fine, but still.” Shaking his head, Dean felt like an idiot after saying that, proving he was never good with words.

Without looking away, Benny reached out to cup Dean's face. "Don't ruin the moment, cher." He teased; earning a small chuckled from the green-eyed sap in front of him before pulling Dean for a heated kiss.

The kiss they shared was bruising, teeth were clashing and their tongues were going wild. They’re hungry for each other. Benny winced every time Dean’s dull fingernails raked his back, wanting to be closer to him if it’s even possible. It never stopped him though, as a matter of fact, it turned him on. His hands dropped to squeeze Dean’s ass, swallowing the moan in his mouth while kneading the firm flesh. He’s not really sure why, but when he spread Dean’s ass, his middle finger teased the tight hole.

Dean was already hard just kissing Benny, but when his finger hovered in his hole, his cock felt harder. Benny didn't apply any pressure, he's just rubbing his finger against the entrance, but the anticipation of what would happen made Dean's cock leaking. Benny might've noticed it because their bodies were impossibly close and when Benny retrieved his finger, a needy whine escaped Dean's mouth.

Kissing him long and hard, Benny winked at him before grabbing his cock and kneeling in front of him, Dean was sure Benny winced but the sound of the shower muffled it. His worry was quickly forgotten when Benny stroked his length, looking down, he saw Benny sucking his fingers while slowly stroking him. The slow punishing stroke made the building precome drip and Benny lapped the head to taste him after pulling out the fingers in his mouth. "You tasted so sweet, cher," Benny whispered before sucking the head of his cock.

Dean rolled his head up because of Benny’s warm slick mouth. Thinking about how Benny’s cheeks hollowed while sucking him almost pushed him over the edge, so he thought of something that might help him last.

_Alcohol… Nope, our first heated kiss started because of alcohol... Impala… My first blowjob was in my car… Pie… I love pie, especially when Benny will creampie me… Holy mother of fuck… No, not that one… Dad… huh… I think it’s working… Dad fucking me hard in the ass…_

A thick finger silently made its way inside of his tight hole, hitting something that emitted waves of pleasure. He needed to look at Benny, the images of his Dad fucking him rough was not an option when he blew his load.  _What the fuck, Dad?_ The finger kept rubbing that place inside him. Dean's close. Every time he moved his hips, different pleasure was hitting him at both ends. He thrust forward, Benny's throat was there. He pushed backward; the finger was applying more pressure and sinking deeper.

“I’m fucking close, Benny.” Dean groaned.

Suddenly, the wet heat enveloping his cock was gone, and all that was left was the finger slowly fucking his ass. "You're gorgeous, Dean," Benny said, slowly pulling out his finger and pulled himself up to kiss Dean's parted lips. Dean tried to reach his cock to chase the orgasm. _Fucking close_. But Benny swatted his hand away making him whine with the need of release.

Then his face was pushed against the cold tile. Dean felt the thick length of Benny’s cock sliding against the crack of his ass; the big head was poking his hole every now and then _. This is it_. Dean thought nervously, Benny’s finger was fine but the thought of Benny’s thick cock splitting him opened scared him so he widened his legs and shut his eyes close.

Dean felt Benny's beard scratching the back of his neck while peppering kisses on his shoulder. "Relax," Benny whispered, he probably felt how Dean's body tensed. "Close your legs, cher," Benny whispered again before playfully biting his neck and lapping the skin, his hands traveled across Dean's torso, mapping every inch skin he could touch. One hand stopped to flick Dean's nipple, sending new wave pleasure through his body.

Closing his legs, Dean felt Benny's cock slide between his thighs from the crack of his ass. Understanding what Benny was planning, Dean finally relaxed and turned his head to kiss Benny. The spray of the shower was cold now but with their bodies impossibly close together the water felt warm in their skin. Dean felt Benny's hairy chest – not to mention toned after losing weight, which he should feel sorry – against his back.

The slide of Benny's cock between his thighs was oddly pleasurable especially when the length slides below his balls. Benny started to rut faster and his hand dropped to curl around his aching cock while the other kept teasing his nipple. Mixtures of different pleasure were making his head spin. Breaking away from the kiss, Dean gasped to catch some air. "If you fucking stop right now I'll fucking punch you in the throat, Benny." Dean threatened while pushing his hips backward to meet Benny's frantic thrust and moaning the man's name. "F-fu-fuck!" Dean shouted when Benny bit his shoulder hard, pushing him over the edge. Both of them came at the same time, painting the tiles white with their come.

Both men shuddered; bodies were tensing, coming down on the high of orgasm. Dean felt the thick hot come drip against his thighs; he pulled Benny's hand to lick the hand clean, tasting himself.

"That's awesome." Dean breathed out after catching his breath. Without Benny's arm around him, he's sure he'll drop because of his weak knees. Benny didn't answer, though. Dean felt how Benny's body trembled behind his back and a hot stream of liquid was falling on his shoulders. "Benny…"

"Thank you, Dean, for everything," Benny said between his hiccups. "I thought I was gonna die back there. Then I heard your voice."

There were plenty of things Dean wanted to ask and tell Benny like:  _Why did you lie to Elizabeth. Why didn’t you tell me what’s happening. I thought you’re going to die, too. I won’t let go of you anymore. I fucking love you, you big sap_. But Dean didn't voice out any of them, instead, he listened to Benny.

“People treated me differently because of what I didn’t do.” The shaking in Benny’s voice finally ceased. “People beat me when they discover that I’m in love with a man.”  _Benny loved me._ "They pointed out clearly that I don't belong out there, Dean. I know I don't belong inside the prison but voices in my head told me that I was better inside those walls than out there. At least there, no one will judge me and I have the freedom to punch people who tried to push me down." Benny chuckled weakly at that but Dean didn't find it amusing. His Benny wanting to return to prison, apparently, for protection against the world he once knew was making Dean's gut churn.

"Then fuck them." Dean turned around to look at Benny, whose eyes were red. "You're just unlucky to meet bunch of close-minded assholes. And what the hell are you talking about not belonging out here?" Dean asked with a challenging tone. "You belong to me and that's enough reason to stay." He hugged Benny, lips grazing against the warm skin of his neck.

“You’re too good for me, Dean.” Benny hugged back, kissing the part where he bit Dean.

 _You don’t know, but you’re too good for me._  Dean said to himself “Enough talk, you big sap. We need to have another shower.”

"You're stuck with me, though, because I'm your big sap." Benny kissed Dean's forehead before resting his head on it. "I'm tired, chief."

They left the hotel the next morning without touching the other bed. Dean insisted to rest a few more days but Benny coaxed that he could rest in the car. They made a stop in New Orleans to tell everything to Elizabeth what happened before taking the rest of Benny’s stuff. While they were on the road towards Sioux Falls, Dean was nervous if Bobby would let Benny live in the station. If ever Bobby wouldn't let Benny live with him there, then he’ll rent an apartment.

Eyeing the guitar on the back seat, Dean squeezed Benny’s thigh to get his attention. “You know. I haven’t seen you play that guitar.”

Benny didn’t answer. He just smiled at him before leaning forward to kiss his cheek.  _Asshole_. Dean thought fondly, returning his attention back to the road while intertwining their fingers together.  _If Sammy was here, he'll call me a big sap or cheesy and I'll never hear the end of it._


	13. Bad News Has Wings

It’s only been three days since they arrived at the station. Fortunately, Bobby agreed to let Benny stay temporarily with them. He and the others were still in Maine, finishing up the trial of Dick Roman, positive that they’ll put that shark where he belonged behind bars.

Just for a few days, Benny was already fitting in well and people at the station adored him, his warm personality and southern charm stole the hearts of people, well, either that two or his award-winning jambalaya. The tomato and rice combination made Dean remember what his mom used to make when he's sick, making him fall in love even more with that big sap of a man. Dean swore he'll tell Benny how much he loved him soon.

Women from the station learned not to flirt with Benny the hard way when Dean started snarling at them like a rabid animal protecting what's his. But Pamela was immune to Dean's passive-aggressive threats. She explained that Bobby, together with Sam and Charlie, left that morning from Maine. Mentally computing the travel time, Dean expected that everyone would arrive tomorrow, he thought of giving Benny a heads up to prepare himself meeting the family, but the man was a social butterfly so Dean pushed the idea at the back of his head. Pamela also approved their new sleeping arrangement. Benny's bed at the sleeping quarters used to be right next to Dean, but after their second night, people politely asked him to move four beds away from his boyfriend because of the _weird noises_  every night.

Smiling to himself Dean remembered what he and Benny just did that morning.

 

…

“Shut your mouth.” Benny murmured against his neck.

He was pinned against the wall, his legs were wrapped around Benny’s waist and balancing himself by circling his arms around Benny’s neck. They just couldn't keep their hands off each other, taking every opportunity to find release like some fucking teenagers.

They were in the bathroom knowing there’s no camera in there. The shower spray couldn't muffle Dean’s moans and Benny was getting anxious that they might get caught, so he tightened his grip on both of their cocks and started stroking faster while thrusting through the rhythm. Dean moaned even louder, singing praises of his name mixed with curses, so he did what he knew that’ll shut the man up. He kissed him hard, swallowing all the noises those beautiful lips was making, until both of them shoot their loads on their stomachs.

“You’re so strong.” Dean gasped when Benny put him down on his feet. “Hmm.” Lapping the sweat building on Benny’s shoulder, Dean hummed while his hands traveled down from Benny’s shoulders to the small of his back. “We’re awesome.”

Pressing their foreheads together, they stood there under the now cold spray of shower hugging each other, cherishing the closeness of their bodies not knowing when would it happen again. Dean almost regretted bringing Benny at the station. They need their own space, a privacy, but somewhere deep down inside of him, he's afraid of bringing Benny to his apartment. It's almost been a year since he last visited the place, and as a matter of fact, he almost forgot he had his own apartment. That place never once felt like home. It's just space where he slept. A cold apartment tinted with betrayal. He'd rather rent another apartment than going back there, anywhere but there, as long as Benny was with him. Benny's his new home. And thinking about living together with Benny made the cold water warm.

"We better rinse fast. I'm afraid people might've heard us." Benny whispered, kissing Dean's forehead, he felt how the man melted into his arms. Torn between not wanting to get caught and stay attached to his boyfriend, Benny swatted Dean's ass a few times before cajoling the purring man. "Come on, cher."

…

 

The smell of frying chicken and buttered potatoes wafted inside the station. Walking towards the kitchen, Dean heard a familiar whistling tune but he couldn't put his finger which song he heard it. What caught his attention the most were the pair of lips where the sound was coming from and all he wanted to do was to claim those lips with his. Benny was too busy checking the potatoes inside the oven to not notice his boyfriend checking his tight ass when he bent over.

Dean leaned against the frame of the door to watch his boyfriend move around the kitchen with uttered grace. When Benny started singing, Dean closed his eyes and crossed his arms over his chest. People at the office asked his boyfriend to slow down a bit; Benny needed rest to recover fast, but he couldn't deny the little things making his boyfriend happy.

 _Sittin' in the morning sun_  
_I'll be sittin' when the evening comes_  
_Watching the ships roll in_  
_Then I watch them roll away again, yeah_  
  
_I'm[sittin' on the dock of the bay](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rTVjnBo96Ug)..._

When Benny suddenly stopped singing, Dean slowly opened his eyes and saw a blushing big man looking at him with a surprised expression. They both look at each other for a couple of seconds before the oil from the fryer started spattering, hitting Benny in the process. Closing the distance between them, Dean was confused why Benny smiled at him when he checked where the hot oil hit him.

“It’s nothing, cher.” Benny waved a hand when Dean inspected parts of his body. And he’s pretty sure Dean was just using the opportunity to touch him. When the hand lingered way too long on his chest and bicep, it proved that he’s right.

The sound of cars outside caught both of their attention. Confused, Dean looked at his boyfriend before he leaned forward for a kiss. "Let me just check it for a second," Dean said as he turned away.

Running towards the front door of their building, Dean watched Bobby and the others climbed down from taxi cabs, making him confused even more.  _They just left a few hours ago from Maine_. And there’s also a police car on their tail. When he saw Sam, he jogged to greet his brother but Sam just waved at him and mouthed ‘Jess’ while pointing at the parking lot where Jess was waving at her soon to be fiancé. Dean nodded and turned his attention to Charlie to help her carry her three bags while she carried his duffle bag he forgot in Maine.

“I got you and Benny a souvenir from the airport.” Charlie declared while they were walking towards the front door.

 _Oh_. Dean just realized that everyone rode a plane. He could almost hear what Charlie said to him the last time about how ‘normal’ people riding planes to travel from state to state. Shaking his head to forget that conversation, Dean focused on the souvenir Charlie bought for him and Benny.

Dean thought it was one of those giant Toblerone bars airport shops offered but it turned out to be matching phone cases. Handing both of their half charged phones, Dean remembered buying Benny his second phone that looked exactly like his and how he changed its wallpaper with their selfie. He was about to leave the kitchen when he heard Charlie started a conversation with Benny.

"I have some herbal salve that can help those bruises of yours," Charlie said after finishing the first phone.

Turning his attention to Charlie, Benny stepped away from the fryer. “Really? That’s real sweet of you, Charlie. Thanks.” Benny drawled as he sat at the edge of the table.

“Sure thing. But you better shave that beard if you want to apply it in your face.” Raising both of her hands, she combed the short beard with her slim fingers.

Dean’s ears felt hot after hearing what Charlie said. He loved his boyfriend’s beard and shaving it was a big no in his book. Just thinking about how it felt against his skin made his cock twitch a little. Looking at his boyfriend, Dean saw the consideration in Benny’s eyes.  _Damnit, he’s gonna shave the beard_. Dean thought.  _Don’t you fucking shave that beard of yours_.

Both Benny and Charlie turned their heads to face Dean. Apparently, Dean said out loud his last thought.

“Why?” Charlie asked with a smirk on her face.

Like a fish out of the water, Dean's mouth opened and closes while thinking of an excuse why Benny should not shave his beard. Benny, the best boyfriend, as usual, saved Dean from his predicament. "Don't worry, cher. I won't shave it." Benny finished with a wink before focusing his attention on the frying chicken.

Dean stayed inside the kitchen while Charlie was working slowly to put the case on the second phone. The way Charlie smiled while looking through the void, Dean exactly knew how the gears in her head worked, so he walked towards Charlie to pull her away from the kitchen. Dean’s movement startled Charlie from her thoughts and pressed her body against Benny.

“Hey Benny,” Charlie started, “you want to know a secret?” Charlie asked while glancing at Dean, who stopped walking.

"Always," Benny answered; there was a glimpse of amusement in his eyes that Dean didn't miss when he turned his head to Charlie.

When Charlie looked at Dean with her eyes full of mischief, Dean's heart almost skipped a beat. "Dean has an accent," Charlie said quickly when Dean tried to move to pry her from Benny. "If he's drunk enough you can hear it. It's a weak mid-western from Kansas." Charlie ran away from Dean giggling, using the table to distance herself.

Dean was about to climb the table to tackle Charlie down but Benny grabbed him by the arm and turn him around before hugging him. "Calm down, chief. I already know about the accent thing." Benny cooed while rubbing his back.

“Really, when?” Dean asked incredulously.

Benny made a signal behind Dean indicating Charlie to sit down. “You remember back in the prison, the day I first met Charlie?” Benny asked, swaying their bodies slowly.

Dean hummed his answer. He remembered everything like it was just yesterday. Their late-night talks, their small interactions, Benny's sad eyes, their first kiss, and the way Benny sang to him. He knew back then that Benny became someone special to him. "I know I'm not that drunk that night."

"Drunk enough to kiss me first," Benny said while winking at Charlie who snorted behind Dean's back. "Whenever you talk in your sleep, I reckon there's a hint of accent there. But the third shot of whiskey that night helped the accent come out."

 _Benny, watching me sleep in prison. That'll be a conversation later_. Dean thought while appreciating the hug Benny was giving him. The smell of spices Benny used was attached to his shirt if they're alone; he'd probably stripped the man naked and started tasting his skin.

“He had a big crush on Dr. Sexy.” Charlie chirped happily in her chair, “Cowboy boots also turns him on.” She added, ready to run away if Dean thought of kicking her butt.

Whipping his head too fast, Dean almost broke his neck when he gave Charlie a threatening look. He heard Benny’s low laugh, the vibration coming from Benny’s chest sent shivers in his body, he wanted to escape Benny’s arms to hit Charlie in the head, who’s laughing hard, but Benny kept him in place by holding him tight, nuzzling his nose against Dean’s neck.

“Elizabeth also love that show. You learn how to stitch wounds because of him?” Benny asked while placing small kisses on Dean’s jaw, not caring if Charlie saw the intimate actions.

Forcing himself not to moan, Dean closed his eyes, trying to remember where did he learn first aid. Cas' face flashed in his mind. Both of them took the first aid class together five years ago before they started dating a year after that. They'd been together for three years before he ended it. Dean's train of thoughts was halted by a gruff cough. It's Bobby.

Suddenly, Dean was back a year ago where he and Cas were kissing in the kitchen when Bonny caught them. He could still remember the way Cas' body tensed up before pushing him away. And now, Benny was with him, peppering his jaws with kisses.

The scene at the moment was uncanny; the only difference was Benny didn’t push him away. Instead, Benny held him tighter when he tried to untangle himself and held him by the waist before facing Bobby.

"Damn, I'm hungry," Bobby said before sitting beside Charlie. "You're the one who's cooking, boy?" Bobby asked Benny.

"Yes, sir." Benny drawled, squeezing Dean's side before he turned around to turn off the stove and plate the remaining chicken.

"Charlie... Dean, call everyone so we can start lunch," Bobby ordered. Dean knew he wanted to be alone with Benny to talk about something and he's not very subtle about it. Dean gave an apologetic look to Benny before following Charlie exit the kitchen.

The built-in speakers at the station were still broken after the incident of listening to Dean's date. So, Dean had to walk outside to call everyone. The police car was still outside and a familiar face climbed out of it. _Sheriff Donna Hanscum_. Dean remembered.

"Sheriff." Dean greeted with a smile, noticing the scratches and some bruises on her head that looked new.

“Agent Winchester how’s Lafitte?” She replied with an equal smile on her face.

“He’s fine.” Tipping his head inside the building, Dean offered. “We’re actually about to start lunch, come inside, Benny cooked more than enough.”

Donna pursed her lips, trying to consider the offered meal. “I’m actually on a diet. But fudge that. It’s free food, so why not!”

Walking inside with Sheriff Hanscum beside him, Dean asked what was in his mind. “Why’d you visit? New Orleans was far from here.”

“It’s not time for me to answer that, agent, sorry.”

 

* * *

  

After calling everyone, the table was already set, using another table from the storage as an extension. Both Benny and Bobby were smiling when Dean sat beside his boyfriend. Fifteen people were happily settled in the small kitchen, thanking Benny for the food. There were some comments about keeping Benny permanently to cook for them but others disagreed and thought of asking Ellen if she has a job opening.

When everyone was finished eating, Bobby started a conversation why Sheriff Hanscum was there with them. While Benny and Dean were putting away the plates to clean up later, Charlie helped Jody set up a projector inside the kitchen. People were taking their seats, Pamela and Rufus in front with Bobby, Dean and Benny standing side by side near the sink, and others were scattered around the kitchen.

Bobby then stood up in front of them with Jody and Sheriff Hanscum to explain the sudden meeting. Pictures of a familiar shaved man started to flash on the projector, him inside the hospital, outside the parking lot, convenient stores, and an alley. Dean didn’t know who the man was but his blood was boiling because he was the one who wanted Benny dead. Benny, like always, sensed Dean’s tensed body and held him by the waist to reassure him that he was safe, he let go after a squeezing one last time when Dean started to relax under his touch.

Continuing the discussion about the man, Bobby said that the man was hiding behind a dead man’s name and all of the information about the guy were erased everywhere. A video of him walking towards a car, Victor’s car, and placing something under the hood of the car, the date on the lower left part of the video told that the event happened an hour before the explosion incident.

The tension in the air was suffocating when the explosion was mentioned. Benny looked at Dean with confusion in his eyes, silently asking what happened. After realizing that Dean avoided the Victor topic to Benny, Dean thought that this was the time for his boyfriend to know that one of their members died. Benny just nodded but it was clear in his eyes that he remembered the day Dean called in the middle of the day looking for comfort. Holding Dean by the waist again, Benny whispered that everything was fine, Donna already caught the man and there’s nothing to worry about.

Jody explained that that was the last time they saw ‘Martin'. He was untraceable and started traveling under the radar until he started hunting Benny Lafitte. Dean started fidgeting again but Benny was there to calm him down _again_ , which was weird because Benny was the one in danger that time, not him, as if Benny already forgiven the man who wanted to kill him in that dark alley.

Donna’s cheerful demeanor fell when it was her turn to speak up. She started her story when Dean convinced her to use their computer to see the camera footage to find Benny, leaving the part where Dean screamed at her, and how Bobby instructed her to keep an eye on Dean. Three different sketches of the same man were displayed on the screen. Donna explained that the man on the sketch who looked exactly like ‘Martin’ paid the three men who transported Benny to Thibodaux.

A phone started ringing; interrupting Donna’s explanation about the real reason why she was there, Benny apologized and excused himself to answer the phone. Giving Dean a reassuring smile, he left the kitchen to answer the call.

When Benny exited the kitchen, Donna showed pictures of drugs in sachet hidden in one of Martin’s pockets, she and her partner suspected that if Martin was successful  _disposing_ Benny, he was planning to plant it in the body to frame Benny as a drug user killed by a dealer or some vigilante. Dean's gut churned because of that. The reason behind Benny's long imprisonment was drugs and the man behind Benny's earlier struggle wanted to brand him as a drug user. Dean was a little relieved that Benny was not there with them, he didn't know how Benny would react when he found out about it.

Then, Donna told everyone how she and her partner got ambushed, injuring her partner in the process. She said that after they left Thibodaux to return to New Orleans, one of the wheels of their police car exploded, making it unbalance and swayed off the road. Sprays of bullets started penetrating the car, breaking the windows and lighting the engine on fire. When both of them climbed down the car, her partner tried to cover her while she retrieved Martin inside the burning car. Her partner screamed in pain and crumpled like a paper when a bullet hit him in the legs. Distracted, Donna was decked by Martin before running away. They barely made it in time to hide when the car exploded.

Bobby stood up from his seat to stand beside Sheriff Hanscum, stating that Martin was still out there. The last slides showed pictures of men who ambushed Rufus and his men. Dean remembered some of them, especially the two he sniped to cover Charlie. Just like Martin, Bobby explained that the identifications of those men and their information were wiped out from different databases. As if they were aliens or artificial humans, Charlie reasoned out. Well, either that or there’s someone who could manipulate the government files to erase their existence.

Everyone dispersed from the kitchen after the meeting. Dean was about to leave to find Benny when Bobby asked him to stay a little.

"Dean," Bobby started, "I want you to take a break from all this." Dean was about to protest but Bobby raised a hand to stop him from talking. "You've been working hard on this case for at least six months straight. You ought to have a little vacation for morale." Bobby added the last part of assurance.

"I'm fine working, Bobby," Dean grumbled, rolling his eyes. "And it's not yet finished. That Martin was still on the loose. Who knows what he was thinking."

“That’s also the reason why I wanted you to take a break. I need you and Benny to hide somewhere.”

“We’re not hiding, Bobby.” Dean, creasing his brows, answered with a hint of annoyance.

Sighing a little, Bobby scratched the back of his neck. “Did I say hide? I meant lay low.” Bobby tried to sound convincing but Dean’s ear caught how Bobby’s voice hitched.

Now, it’s Dean who’s sighing. “That’s the same thing, Bobby.” Running a hand across his face, Dean asked his foster father seriously. “Do you really think Benny and I were in danger?”

"Listen to me you idjit." Quite annoyed, Bobby snarled. "Benny is a civilian and I don't want him to be caught in the crossfire. And I got complaints that people heard you and Benny doing ‘stuff' in the past two nights."

Dean had nothing to say something about Bobby's last reason. His colleagues already politely asked them to sleep apart with each other and he already devised planned on sneaking that night to blow Benny. He really did wanted a vacation to have an alone time with Benny but Martin's case was still there.

The way Dean spaced out in front of him; Bobby knew that Dean was thinking about Martin, so to save the man from thinking hard, he had to do the thinking for his son. “We’ll handle Martin, boy. Just take your fucking vacation.”

 _Bobby really wanted me to take a break, huh, but where?_  Dean thought.  _What if we visit a beach? Benny must’ve love swimming._   _Wait…_ Dean remembered his promise to Benny. His boyfriend had never been into the woods. _Camping. We’ll go camping._  “Okay, I’ll take that vacation you’re offering.” Dean tried to sound defeated but the way Bobby arched his eyebrow told that he failed. “Can we use one of your cabins, though?”

“Sure.” Bobby nodded, Dean finally accepted the vacation. The stubborn man tried to use work to forget, which a success, than alcohol. He didn’t need to work to forget anymore, though. He already moved on. “How about you use my cabin in Yosemite Falls? Sam’s girlfriend will be delivering their baby soon. It’s closer to her parent’s house.”

 _Oh yeah. And Sam will be proposing to Jess soon_. "That's great, Bobby," Dean said while hugging Bobby who hugged him back. _If I’m not mistaken, there’s a lake there where Benny can swim._

Dean's lewd thoughts of him and Benny skinny dipping was halted when Bobby snapped his finger in front of him while saying ‘idjit' under his breath, proving he really was spacing out when he thinks. "Just be sure you clean up your mess when you leave, you hear me. I know you and Lafitte were still in the honeymoon phase, so please clean the sheets if you…" Bobby, whose tips of his ears were red, trailed off and started walking out the kitchen. "I'll give you the keys later," Bobby said over his shoulder.

Walking outside to find Benny and tell the news, Dean thought of the things what they could do alone together. His tracks stopped when he saw Benny leaning against a tree with a solemn look on his face that quickly replace by warm smile when he saw him coming.  _Something’s wrong_. Dean thought.

“Hey, Benny, why didn’t you come back?” Dean stood beside his boyfriend, raising his hand to block the sun penetrating the shade of the tree.

Sparing Dean a little glance, Benny tipped his head back before slowly closing his eyes. “Nothing. I reckon civilians like me should not hear topics like that.” Dean grunted his apprehension, forcing himself not to talk about Martin who escaped and everything they talked about in there was also his business.

Slowly, Dean moved a little closer so their shoulders were bumping into each other, wanting to feel the man physically. “What’s your plan today?” Dean asked turning his head to look at Benny.

"Ellen asked me to come to her diner today when she visited yesterday. She wanted me to taste her own version of my pecan pie with mint chocolate chips." Opening his eyes a little, Benny looked at his drooling boyfriend who just ate a three-piece chicken and two servings of buttered potato thirty minutes ago. "Want to come?" Benny offered while smirking.

“Abso-fucking-lutely!” Dean replied without any hesitation, eyes going wild by the thought of finally tasting Benny’s pie. Well, not Benny’s pie pie, but Benny’s pie recipe which he knew Ellen nailed replicating. His plan of telling Benny about their vacation was totally forgotten.

They were about to climb inside the Impala when Benny stopped after opening the passenger door. Dean looked at him with confusion, wanting Benny to speak up.

"Hey umm, Dean," Benny said hesitantly. "Castiel called."

 

*******

 

“I assigned three talented sketch artists to draw the suited man who paid these men. And as you can see, the sketches matched with each other--” Donna’s explanation was disturbed by a ringtone.

The vibration inside his pocket jerked Benny from his daydream nightmare about his first night alone in Thibodaux. Fishing his phone out, he apologized for the disruption and waited for an approval to answer the phone. When Bobby nodded, he smiled at Dean before exiting the kitchen.

 _No Caller ID?_  Benny read the words flashed on the screen of his phone. After distancing himself from the kitchen, he hit the green button to answer the call.

“Hello?” Benny greeted cautiously.

“ _Hello,_ ” An authoritative voice greeted on the other side of the phone line, “ _You’re not Dean._ ” The man stated. “ _Who are you, and why are you answering Dean’s phone?_ ”

 _Dean’s phone?_ Benny asked himself while inspecting the phone in his hand. He heard a muttered ‘hey' through the phone and returned it to his ear.

“ _Hey, I said, who are you._ ”

“Name’s Benny. Benny Lafitte.” Benny replied with a bit of anxiety. He felt small with how the man spoke, there’s something about the confidence in his voice that felt like he was back in prison in his early years where prison guards boss him around.

“ _Why do you have Dean’s phone. You’re a thief, aren’t you?_ ”

The sudden accusation made Benny wince. He’d been called many things inside the prison, especially during his hard days in Thibodaux, but a thief was something new. Remembering his third week in Thibodaux, people called him a dog for eating scraps, mostly trash, but he’s fine with that than stealing.

“I ain’t a thief. And may I know who this is, please? I’ll tell Dean you called.”

“ _Dean probably deleted my number then._ ” The man mumbled. “ _Why don’t you just pass the phone to Dean?_ ” The question sounded almost like an order, burning Benny’s ear.

“He can’t talk to you right at the moment. He’s in a meeting.” Benny’s getting irritated but he’s keeping it together, the man lacked phone etiquette – Benny’s uneducated but at least he knew how to answer calls, and the fact that the man didn’t answer his question was kind of rude.

“ _Why are you answering Dean’s phone again?_ ”

Benny noticed that there’s a hint of possessiveness in the man’s tone every time he said Dean’s name.  _Who is this jackass?_

“Well, there’s a chance Charlie accidentally switched our phones.” Chuckling a little, Benny remembered how cute it was to have a similar phone case with his boyfriend. Now, it looked stupid, considering their phones looked exactly alike to him.

There's an uncomfortable silence on the other line, making Benny thought that the man ended the call without introducing himself.

“ _Charlie, huh. Tell Dean I’m in town. This is Castiel by the way._ ”

With that,  _Castiel_  ended the most uncomfortable call Benny ever experienced. Looking at the phone in his hand, Benny saw a picture of him sleeping with his mouth open as wallpaper.  _Yep, this is Dean’s phone. Mine has a picture of a boat_.

 

*******

 

 _Tell Dean I’m in town_. Dean was fidgeting in his seat, anxiously waiting for Benny and Ellen return from the kitchen.  _Of course, now that Benny and I were together, that’s when you decided to visit_. Dean never mentioned the name Castiel to Benny, hell; he didn’t even want to hear the name. It looked like he couldn't run from the past forever. The way Benny told how their conversation went meant that he handled the situation well, dreading what would be the outcome if Benny knew that Castiel was his ex and what he did to him, Dean had to come clean with his boyfriend and tell everything.

It felt weird, especially for Dean himself. Maybe a few months back, if Castiel decided to show his face to him, then he’d beat the shit out of him, but now, he couldn't even remember lingering image of him naked with that woman. Dean’s no expert about relationship especially when his first serious one ended in tragedy with that guy, but if being the bigger person meant forgiving the one who’s at fault, then that’s what he’ll call himself, the bigger person. It took him a year and an awesome boyfriend to finally forgiven Castiel for what he did, though he didn’t really understand why he cheated on him in the first place.

He’d already moved on for crying out loud. Sure, Dean moved on but he’s not mature enough because he wanted to flag out that he’s very happy with Benny. A very contradicting behavior to what he just described himself as the bigger person. But still, it’s something.

The door from the kitchen opened a little, the smell of freshly baked pie wafted inside the diner, relaxing Dean a little. He saw Benny talking to Ellen through the small window behind the cash register. Their conversation looked serious. That was the first time Dean saw Benny and Ellen interact. And the way Benny nodded seemed he's taking every detail Ellen was saying seriously. Inspecting his boyfriend's features, Dean caught how Benny's face twisted with disgust. _Oh, no. Please, not the New Year’s most embarrassing throwing up incident_. Dean prayed, expecting Benny to laugh after Ellen finished what she was telling to his boyfriend, but Benny didn’t laugh.  _Why’s Benny frowning?_

Too focused on what was happening inside the kitchen, Dean didn’t hear the bell of the front door ringing. He saw Benny saw him through the small window and gave him a tight smile. Jo entered the kitchen and approached her mother, saying something important enough to leave the cash register alone.  _Code Red_. The scene inside the kitchen was Code Red, Dean had seen it before, if the situation was dire inside the diner, Jo would leave the cash register to talk to her mother. Even though she could handle most rude costumers, Code Red was something her mother handled. Both women exited the kitchen, leaving Benny behind with a confused look; Ellen was carrying a frying pan and started walking fast in Dean’s booth.

“Hello, Dean.”

Dean jerked from his seat after hearing those two words from a deep familiar voice. Looking over his shoulder, he saw an old trench coat someone he knew always wore.  _Code Red_. Dean whispered to himself. He saw Ellen toying with her frying pan. It’s Castiel, no wonder Ellen had to handle it herself; Jo might kill the man standing behind him.

“Cas.” Dean greeted, shocked that Castiel would talk to him so soon.

Looking at him like a lost puppy, there's hesitation on Castiel's face before he opened his mouth. "Can I talk to you?"

“Sure, let’s talk.” Dean nodded, stretching his hand to offer the seat opposite of him, Benny’s seat.

With wide eyes, Castiel was shocked about how Dean treated him warmly after what he’d done.

"I actually wanted to talk to you in private." There's desperation in Castiel's tone but Dean tried to ignore it.

“I’m actually waiting for someone, sorry, Cas.” In his peripheral vision, Dean saw Benny exited the kitchen with a tray on his hand. He needed Benny now more than ever, someone that’ll assure him that everything’s fine. And he really wanted Castiel to see that he moved on and he’s happy now. Yes, the damage had been done and what Dean really needed the most was closure from his ex.

Castiel didn't move an inch from where he was standing, determined to have it his way, like always, waiting for Dean to stand up to follow him someplace private. But Dean was not buying his antics, being alone with Castiel was an emotional rollercoaster he didn't want to experience anymore. Instead of waiting for Castiel to sit, Dean turned his attention to Benny who brought the pie he promised. _Three plates? But their flavors are all the same._  Dean arched an eyebrow when he looked at his boyfriend who shrugged and tipped his head towards Castiel’s direction before sitting beside him. Turning his attention back to Castiel, he saw how Castiel narrowed his eyes, giving Benny a look over.

“Excuse me; can you give us a moment?” Walking beside Benny, Castiel asked, who looked at Dean with a silent order of getting rid of the man.

"I'm sorry, are you in a middle of something?" Looking for Dean and Castiel, Benny stood up, ready to leave.

"Benny, stay," Dean said, pulling his boyfriend down, before taking a bite of his pie, groaning at the taste. "Fuck." Dean cursed; he swore he saw his brain when his eyes rolled backward. The refreshing taste of spicy mint complemented the bitter dark chocolate while the beautifully roasted pecan gave an amazing texture to the pie. Without thinking, he grabbed the back of Benny's neck and peppered him with kisses. The rush hour was long over, so the diner was almost empty, making Dean thought that what he was doing didn't consider as public indecency. He kept kissing, despite the fact that he knew it was Ellen who baked the pie.

Chuckling deeply, Benny had to push Dean away, who’s smudging his face with chocolate, but Dean kept kissing the right spots making him hot. “Hold it, tiger.” Benny gasped, cupping Dean’s cheek before kissing him softly one last time.

After getting his bearings, Dean remembered Castiel and quickly scanned the diner. A loud thud was heard throughout the diner and Dean’s head started to spin.

"You idiot!" Ellen yelled at Dean, frying pan was still in hand, apparently, she hit Dean's head with it. "That boy finally find the courage to talk to you and what the hell did you do, huh? I don't understand you, _men_.”

“You’re one to talk.” Dean pointed at the frying pan while caressing his head, bump starting to form.

"You should talk to him, cher," Benny said, pushing Dean away from the table. "I know you already forgave him. Give him peace, please." Benny whispered, low enough so only Dean could hear it.

Looking at his boyfriend with an incredulous look, Dean remembered how Benny handled every tragic event in his life.  _Martin, the three stooges, people who treated him badly, and fucking Dick Roman_. Dean enumerated but nothing bothered Benny ever since. It's either his boyfriend was crazy or didn't hold any grudge against the people who mistreated him, hell, he never bad mouthed Roman, the reason why he lost twenty years of his life. _Crazy_. Dean supposed.  _Crazy enough to don’t hold any grudges_.

How Benny learned what was his relationship with Castiel could wait later and he already had a feeling that Ellen was behind the three plates. Smiling one last time to the amazing – crazy – man in front of him, Dean ran to catch up with Castiel outside.

“Cas, wait up!” Dean hollered, catching Castiel’s attention, who was about to climb up in his hippie van.

Closing the door of his van, Castiel slowly walked towards Dean. “Dean.”

Bright blue eyes were looking directly at him. Dean used to love those pair but after what happened it did nothing to him now. The slouching man was fidgeting, opening his mouth but nothing came out if it. Sighing heavily, Dean thought he needed to be the one to initiate the talking if he wanted it to end fast and return to the diner.

"Look, Cas, I don't really understand why you did it in the first place, but…" Dean trailed off. Scenes from the past flashed in his eyes.

_Their second year anniversary…_

_Woman’s clothing scattered on the floor…_

_Nights he drank himself to sleep…_

_Months of trying to get past second base, ending up him getting pushed away…_

_Following Cas whenever they fight, ending up regretting it later…_

_Seeing Cas with the same woman from their second anniversary and every time Cas sneaked every night…_

_Reading the text message “I’m pregnant. What do we do?” from Cas’ phone…_

_Him, breaking up with Cas after seeing them naked in his bed…_

_Cas running away…_

_Him, begging Cas to return…_

_Cas avoiding him..._

Closing his eyes shut, Dean thought: if Castiel didn't do it, he would never meet Benny. Without that man, he would never appreciate what was left of him. Maybe it's true what people meant ‘there's always a rainbow after the storm'. The path he'd taken was difficult to walk through but it led him to Benny. That crazy big sap who could cook.

“but… I’m fine now.” Dean finished.  _I’m more than fine, actually_. He could feel Benny was watching him from behind.

“I know this will never fix what I’ve done, but I’m really sorry, Dean.” Castiel’s voice cracked.

Being with Castiel long enough, Dean concluded that the man would never forgive himself. He wanted the man to realize that he was forgiven and it's all in the past. But like always, he couldn't find the words to say about what he really felt, so he let his action do the talking for him. Stretching his hand, Dean looked at the quivering man he once loved and waited for him to take it.

Pulling Castiel in his arms after taking his hand, Dean patted Castiel's back to reassure him that everything was fine. It sounded obnoxious to his head about ‘exes turning to friends after a bad break up' but he could give it a try. He really couldn't say if they're still friends because whatever they had was surely burnt to ashes, so they needed to start from square one. Acquaintance. They'll start from there. Not that he'd totally forgotten who Cas was but he needed to know more about the man. People change. Even Dean changed.

After saying goodbye to Castiel, Dean saw Benny smiling proudly at him beside Ellen who had an unreadable expression on her face. He threw himself into Benny’s arms, who managed to catch him and carry his weight, wincing a little because of his injured back.

"Thank you," Dean whispered against his boyfriend's neck.

Adjusting Dean in his arms to avoid the stitches on his back from reopening, Benny craned his neck to look at Dean. “For what, chief?”

 _For everything_. “Just say:  _you’re welcome_ ," Dean said half groaning half whining, slowly climbing off from his boyfriend who sighed with relief.

Nothing actually happened than making peace with Castiel but Dean felt tired all of a sudden. He thought there should be a phantom weight that'll be released into his body. But there's nothing. That weight was long gone since he met Benny. Looking back, Dean had no idea how Benny did it. _Maybe because Benny jokes a lot._ Dean thought because he and Benny never talked about his relationship.

"Uh, you're welcome?" Arching an eyebrow, Benny grabbed Dean's hand and lacing their fingers together, loving how their fingers looked good together. He pulled Dean inside the diner towards their booth, pie already cold. "So, you're a sucker for blue-eyed men, huh?"

“Shut up!” Dean retorted, squeezing his boyfriend’s hand hard. “And how did you know about Cas?”

“Well, Ellen here threatened me that she’ll chop my member and feed it to the hounds if I tried to hurt you like he did. I got curious and Ellen told me some details about the story.”

“Believe me; I  _will cut_ that thing of yours," Ellen said seriously before sitting with them. "Pam even said Dean loved playing it," Ellen added as a distraction, she knew Dean would lose his shit after hearing that she gossiped his past relationship. Both men blushed with those words coming out of her mouth. Dean was about to say something but Ellen hushed him. "Bobby said that you accepted the vacation he offered, you both needed that."

 _Oh, right_. Dean forgot that he needed to inform Benny about their vacation. “You want to go camping, Ben? Say yes and we’ll leave tonight.”

Obviously, both men leave that night, feeling giddy about their unspoken plan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song mentioned is [ (Sittin' On) The Dock Of The Bay ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rTVjnBo96Ug) \- Otis Redding


	14. Not So Alone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay of this chapter.

Standing in the middle of a dark kitchen, Benny had just finished preparing the sandwiches for their dinner. Dean was still outside for at least half an hour to fix the generator, so Benny wandered around the cabin to kill some time. The cabin looked small outside but it was spacious inside, it’s old but its condition was still great. Benny felt the joy of the past still lingering inside the place. Or maybe it was love.

It was an open structure with three rooms inside, two bedrooms and a bathroom; everything inside looked old except for the high-end appliances installed in the kitchen – Ellen probably suggested that. There’s also a chimney in the middle of the family area decorated by knickknacks and picture frames. Benny, who’s quite intrigued how Dean looked like when he’s younger, inspected one of the picture frames.

Due to lack of lighting inside, Benny had to use his phone’s screen light to see a young Dean holding a rifle with a wide grin on his freckled face who was standing beside a ruggedly handsome man. He’s pretty sure that the man in the photo was not Bobby.  _He’s probably Dean’s daddy._  Benny thought as the power started to light the place up.

Benny remembered how he used to smile like that with his father in their boat when he was young. His thoughts though were halted when the door swung open and Dean with a shit eating grin entered the cabin. While Dean was shrugging his coat off, Benny’s eyes focused on the gun holster Dean was wearing underneath it. It was normal for Benny to see people carrying guns around. Twenty years of imprisonment made Benny felt that way about armed people. But Dean was different from those people who seek power using guns. Dean made him feel like they’re equals. Like when they’re still inside the cold prison where they’re just them – Dean and Benny, no statuses and labels.

“You hungry?” Benny asked as he returned the picture frame from the chimney.

Throwing his coat carelessly on one of the couches, Dean made an exaggerated groan as he closed the distance between him and Benny to give him a peck on the cheek. “Starving.”

Dean looked tired after their three day trip from Sioux Falls, but the way Dean’s eyes shone with mischief made Benny think about what his boyfriend was thinking. He’d seen the bottle of lube Dean was carrying in his jacket pocket and remembered what Dean did to him that morning at the motel where they spent the night. Benny got the hint but he was scared about what Dean was asking him to do. Base on what he heard from the prison, people would rather kill themselves than experiencing  _it_  again.  _My thing would split Dean in half_. Benny grimly thought. And for once, he wanted a smaller cock.

“It’s only sandwiches but I can fix somethin’ better tomorrow.” Benny was glad Dean suggested buying some groceries that afternoon. There’s no public market nearby. And as a matter of fact, they were a half an hour away from civilization. Benny couldn’t even believe when Dean informed him that they could walk the nearby village by foot for an hour and people actually live there.

While they were eating dinner, Dean enumerated the things they could do tomorrow like visiting tourist spots or just be with nature. Both men wanted to relax in peace so they agreed not to go in populated areas. Choosing nature, if Benny wanted to spend the whole day at the woods, Dean suggested camping somewhere secluded where they needed to hike a little to go to the most amazing place he knew in the woods – Dean explained the place like Narnia itself. But if Benny wanted to fish, Dean said that Bobby got some fishing equipment stashed somewhere inside the cabin. Both options were amazing and Benny couldn’t decide what he really wanted, so he let Dean decide and surprise him tomorrow.

“You know we’ll be here for awhile, right?” Dean said while chewing a mouthful of his turkey sandwich. “We can do both of it while we’re here. I’m just asking what excites you the most. No pressure, man.”

 _Huh_. Benny thought he just needed to choose one of the two. It’ll be his first time camping but he also missed the water. He never got the chance to go to the beach when he arrived in New Orleans with Elizabeth.  _Fishing it is. Camping can wait later_. Benny decided though it was actually an easy question considering they could do both.

“Let’s go fishin’.”

“Awesome.” Dean nodded his approval. “Twin Lakes it is, we’ll leave early tomorrow.”

After dinner, Dean made a short call to ask Bobby where his fishing equipment was. Benny stripped to his boxers, ready to sleep when Dean finished packing the equipment and entered the bedroom. Mesmerized by how normal it felt when he wrapped his arms around Dean when they settled on the bed, Benny couldn’t help calling himself a loser for counting how many times he and Dean slept in the same bed.  _Tonight’s the fifth_. Benny counted as his thought drifted that it was less than two weeks since Dean saved him on that alley, actually, he was already saved a few months back inside the prison.

Shuffling closer to Dean, Benny nuzzled the crook of his boyfriend’s neck; he’d never thought he would love the scent of leather and gunpowder, which was different from Dean’s scent inside the prison, but Benny still loved it the same. Benny could’t fathom why a guy like Dean picked someone like him when he’s better off with other women or men he wanted.  _This dork_. Benny smiled at the warm skin. If he had a chance to change the past and save him from twenty years of imprisonment, Benny wouldn’t change a thing. He’s fine reliving those long years if Dean would be his reward.

“What are you thinking?” Dean’s voice vibrated through Benny’s body.

Dean turned around and rested his forehead against Benny’s. Benny could see clearly through the dim lighting of the room and saw a small tired smile plastered on his boyfriend’s face. Almost literally breathing the same air, their lips were just inches apart, leaning forward a little, Benny gave Dean a small kiss.

“Have I already told you that you’re my favorite person?”

Pulling him in, Benny was now resting his head on Dean’s chest. He could hear his boyfriend’s heartbeat and it sounded beautiful. “No, you haven’t,” Dean stated. “But your actions did.” Kissing his temple, Benny couldn’t help but bury his face against Dean’s chest. “Goodnight, Benny.”

“Goodnight, chief.”

 

* * *

 

 

Twin Lakes was not far away from Bobby’s cabin. They were supposed to arrive before eight in the morning but they arrived two hours late. Dean stopped to buy some bait and got distracted by the other stores. Benny should’ve known better when Dean saw a pastry shop. The shop offered different varieties of baked goods ranging from small brownies to wedding cakes. It took Dean half an hour to decide which pie to buy which was weird to Benny because it’s pie. Dean was not picky about pie.

The scene was amazing. Dean, who’s grinning like a dork he was, had to close Benny’s mouth while he took the sight of everything. The conjoined lakes, the tall pines surrounding it, the rock formations in the background, and the rippling blue waters were all breathtaking. Dean was not overselling the place. It’s gorgeous. Taking a deep breath, Benny thought how different it was from the ocean, different, but good.

“Wish I have a camera.” Benny sighed but he’s smiling, he’s content with just living the moment.

Dean grunted beside him to get his attention and fished out his phone. Wiggling it to his face, Benny arched an eyebrow in confusion. Without explaining what he meant, Dean walked backward, phone raised on eye level, Benny heard a click coming from the phone. That was when Benny remembered that phones have a built-in camera inside. Mentally punching himself, Benny felt a blush of embarrassment creeping from his neck.  _How stupid of me to forget_. Benny thought, smiling like an idiot as Dean walked in front of him to show the picture of him with a confused look on his face.  _Damn, I’m ugly_.

Passing him his phone, Dean let Benny take pictures while he set the camp up. Half of the pictures ended up candid shots of Dean while he was working his nimble fingers tying knots for the tent. The scene may be beautiful but in Benny’s eyes, Dean was perfect. Satisfied by the results of playing photographer, Benny tried to help his stubborn boyfriend but Dean wanted to finish it all but himself – to impress him obviously, so Benny gave up trying after Dean had to literally kick him out of the way.

They ate what Benny prepared that morning before finding a spot to fish. Dean thought that he could exhibit his fishing skills, but compared to what Benny could do it was merely an amateur level, what Benny had was all muscle memory and he finished his limit after Dean caught his second fish. It was good. Though there were some remarks like ‘cheating’ and ‘mine is longer’.

Some rangers passed by to check on them while Benny was cleaning the fish for dinner. His hearing was heightened when one of the rangers mentioned something about bears. Feeling boastful, Dean told them the story of how Benny punched a shark when he was sixteen, making Benny warm how Dean told the story proudly, and that there’s nothing to worry about bears. The ranger seemed to believe the story because of how Dean delivered it – with sound effects straight from Civil War movies, still, they insisted to be alert at all times and burn their leftovers before putting it out later to avoid forest fires.

When the rangers left, Dean grabbed two beers from the cooler they brought and passed one to Benny who was tending the fire.

“You would look good in one of those uniforms,” Dean said out of the blue, causing Benny choke on his beer.

“Is it the thing about boots or the cowboy hat?” Benny drawled as he wiped the spilled beer in his mouth using the sleeves of his coat. “Either way, it’ll be my first rodeo. Would you be patient if I ride you, though?” Benny smirked, eyes glinting with amusement as he watched his boyfriend open and close his mouth like the fishes they caught earlier.

Benny made a dismissing hand gesture and turned his attention back to the fire. Not that he wanted more from Dean. What they’ve been doing was great, actually more than great, and he couldn’t ask for more. He just wanted to level up what they have and be physically bonded with Dean - he wanted to be one with Dean.  _Let me be the bitch – it’s what the prison people called it_. Benny thought. The tool between Benny’s legs was both blessing and a curse. He had no idea what would happen when they actually did it, so he distracted himself by cooking the fishes.

The fishes were cooked perfectly. Dean ate his fish with much gusto, not bothered by the bones because there were none. Benny filleted it like a pro. The spices he used all came from the vegetation in the woods, making Dean pout, muttering something about he was supposed to be the camping master – the Bear Grills. Not really understanding the reference, Benny was glad it was all forgotten after dinner as they watched the night sky, drawing constellations with their fingers, slowly sipping their beer.

Ready to hit the sack, Dean grabbed him by the hand and mentioned taking a stroll to burn the calories they just consumed, making Benny interested a little. The fire was already out but the light coming from the stars was enough for Benny to see the mischief looming in Dean’s eyes.  _Oh, man_. Grunting as he stood up, his bullet wound ache – the old stitches felt like they were breaking – when he stretched his hands, quite glad that Dean was currently locking the food locker when his face contorted with pain. Benny was fine with it though. The pain made him feel that he’s alive.

Crisp night breeze hit his face as they walk towards the wooden platform. While they’re talking about how their fathers taught them about constellations, Benny noticed that there were only two other group of campers with them in the area and they’re putting their fires out, ready to call it a night. They both relived their conversations at the prison as they sat down at the edge of the platform after taking off their boots to feel the cold water tickle their feet. It’s now easier to picture their stories having the stars above them, unlike inside the prison where there’s no window from the outside world.

“I think everyone’s asleep,” Dean said after glancing at the shore where the campground was. “Want to take a dip?”

 _I have a bad feeling about this._  “It’s cold.”

“Come on, it’s not that cold.” Already shrugging his jacket off, Dean flashed him his too perfect teeth as he made a face saying ‘I know you want it, too’.

“I’m out of practice, though,” Benny said, wanting to be persuaded more as he kicked his feet, breaking the calm surface of the water.

“Don’t mock me, Ben. That’s what you said earlier when we fish.” After unzipping the fly of his jeans, Dean pulled it down together with his black boxers, exposing his semi-erect member resting on newly trimmed hairs.  _When did he do that?_ Dean winked at him before jumping into the lake, creating huge waves of water that could be heard from the shore. Not wanting to spoil the fun, Benny stood up and started stripping his coat off just in time when Dean resurfaced to breathe.

Benny saw how Dean focused on his fingers while he unbuttoned his shirt while licking his bottom lip. The thought of Dean finding him attractive stirred his insides, spreading warmth all over his body. It gave him a little confidence and gave his boyfriend a little show. When he reached the fly of his pants, Benny purposely made his hand slip to watch his boyfriend get antsy while murmuring ‘fucking tease’ under his breath. Smirking a little, Benny slowly wiggled his hips to get out of his pants, leaving his boxers on.

As he was about to jump into the water, Benny heard a displeased grunt making him stop in his tracks. Arching an eyebrow, the wood creaked as he sat at the edge of the platform to ask Dean what was wrong. The lack of clothing made the crisp air colder and the water on his feet felt warmer as he watched his boyfriend doggy paddle his way towards the platform. Dean settled between his legs, face too close on his crotch, snapping the waistband of his boxers.

“Nu-uh,” Benny said after realizing what Dean wanted him to do, removing the hands on his waist and settling it in his thighs, Benny shook his head no. “The underwear stays.”

“Come on, Benny,” Dean whined just like the first time Dean shoved his tomatoes on his tray at the prison. The one that always made Benny comply instantly but not this time.

“There are people at the shore.”

“ _Sleeping_  people.” Dean corrected. “Besides, you should be proud of your body, Benny.”

“It’s inappropriate.”

“It’s called skinny dipping, Benny.”

“Skinny dipping?”

“You’re just stalling.”

It’s true. Benny was stalling. “I’m not,” He tried to lie but his treacherous smile gave it away.

“Damnit, Benny. Just take the damn boxers off.”

“Fine.” Throwing his hands on air, mocking surrender, Benny arched an eyebrow while doing his most charming smile. “If you want it so bad, why don’t you do it yourself?”

Placing both of his hands on either side of his hips, palms laying flat on the platform, Benny watched his boyfriend get settled between his legs to remove what’s left covering his body. He thought that Dean was just scenting his crotch – like a kinky man he was, but much to his surprise, Dean used his mouth to locate the waistband of his boxers. The way Dean’s teeth graze on his skin sent shivers to his spine. He swore Dean purposely slip the band between his teeth to snap it against his skin, making him yelp.

When the band reached its limit, showing the base of his now semi-erect member resting on his bushy trail, Dean tapped his leg for him to lift his body a little to free the remaining band trapped in his weight. Slower than necessary, Dean removed the underwear from Benny’s long legs until it reached the ankles where Benny kicked it backward – not caring where it landed behind him.

A little disappointed when Dean swam away from him, Benny stood up and prepared to dive into the water. As he raised both of his hands, Benny could feel his wound ache a little when he jumped. The water was nice, it’s not cold than what he expected but it’s warmer than the night breeze above. The water felt heavier than he remembered, apparently, the lake was different from the sea.  _You’re swimming with Dean and that’s what you’re thinking? Way to go, dumbass._ Benny scolded himself as he maneuvered his body towards his boyfriend.

They splashed water on each other, participated one-sided swimming competition, and played chicken. Dean started it with a simple grope on the crotch, now both of his hands were clutching the platform while his back was leaning against its algae covered base. Benny’s good hand was also clutching the platform while the other was circling Dean’s body to hold the base, pressing their bodies together.

Benny was not sure why every time they do it, it always ended up him manhandling Dean. It was out of character for his alpha male boyfriend to be submissive, but for all he knew, Dean just wanted someone take care of him – to let go –after years of taking care of his family, especially his brother, and Benny’s fine to do the working. He loved watching Dean close his eyes whenever he savored the delicious friction their cocks were making every time Benny expertly rock their hips. And the sounds coming from Dean’s mouth was music to his ears, knowing he’s the one making it made him proud of his work.

Just like every good thing in life, it came to an early end by the sound of boots walking on the wooden platform.

“Sonofabitch.” Dean cursed under his breath, reluctant to unlock his ankles resting on top of Benny’s waist.

The light coming from the torch was blinding. Both men had to cover their eyes but the voice holding the torch sounded familiar. It was the rangers that afternoon. Expecting to be scolded by the rangers after being caught, Benny got confused when the rangers just turn around and left them alone. While his brain was trying to process why did they do that, Benny jerked a little when Dean laughed beside him.

Wanting an explanation, Benny mouthed ‘what?’ towards Dean who’s composing himself to fill him up about what he thought just happened.

“They probably saw your boxers.” Benny shook his head slowly, eyes squinting, still unsure why they’re not in trouble for swimming naked on the lake. Dean, saving his boyfriend’s time to think, tried to elaborate. “Dude, we’re naked like the day we were born. And for all I know, skinny dipping is normal around here. If we’re girls, they might stay to talk a little, but--” Dean snickered, “— but we’re men. I’m sure they don’t want to see your hairy butt.”

“Hey!” Benny protested, splashing water to his laughing dork. “It’s not that hairy. You’re lucky your butt is perfect.”

“What did you say?” Dean asked, apparently, Benny mumbled the last part underwater when he sank a little.

“It’s not that hairy.”

“No,” Shortening their distance, Dean wrapped his limbs around Benny, “the last part.”

“It’s nothing.”  _It’ll only make your big head even bigger._  Benny thought as he doubled his effort paddling to keep their bodies afloat, he wanted to squeeze Dean’s  _perfect_  butt, but he needed both of his hands to carry their weight.

“Whatever you say, Benny. Come on; let’s get dress and head back.”

After untangling himself from Benny, Dean ungracefully climbed up on the platform, his ass was presented inches away from Benny’s face. Unsure of what he was doing, Benny grabbed both cheeks of Dean’s ass, making him immobile from his position – bending over the edge of the platform, legs still submerged underwater. He kissed the left cheek, earning him a gasp from Dean, who was not protesting about his advances while caressing the other cheek.

 _Fucking perfect_. Benny thought as he licked his way towards the other cheek, tongue accidentally grazing Dean’s hole, making Dean’s breath hitch a little. Benny noticed it and returned his tongue to  _that_  spot, experimentally poking his talented tongue on Dean’s quivering hole and loving the moans his boyfriend trying to suppress. A hand grabbed the back of his head when he tried to draw back and shoved his face back between Dean’s ass cheeks. Dean loved it.

There’s something about its taste that made Benny crave for more. It’s tangy, salty, sweet, and all Dean. Knowing it was Dean made it more appetizing. Benny didn’t know what he was doing but the way Dean squirmed and pushed his rear back on his tongue was satisfying – in a way that what he was doing was right. Dean tasted wonderful and his moans sounded like a symphony.

The realization of Dean being loud snapped Benny back from reality that there were rangers there minutes ago. He withdrew his tongue from Dean’s fluttering hole and climbed up on the platform, pulling Dean’s lower half with him and flipping Dean on his back. Dean, hands were splayed on either side of his head, was panting when Benny looked at him between his legs while he was sitting on his heels.  _I think I broke Dean_. Benny observed as he lifted both of his boyfriend’s legs, folding him in half, to have a better look at the winking hole – they’re nowhere near done.

“Be quiet for once, cher. Bite your arm, or we’ll gag you using your underwear.” Benny said before plunging his tongue back into Dean’s hole. Their new position gave him a perfect view of Dean’s leaking member and eyes fogged by lust. Dean half grunted half moaned string of curses when Benny’s tongue slipped through the tight ring of muscle. Apparently, Dean didn’t hear what he just said, so Benny pulled his tongue back and searched for Dean’s discarded underwear. “I love the sounds you were makin’, cher, but I don’t want us to get caught because of public indecency.”

Fishing out the boxers from the jeans, Benny rolled it into a ball and shoved it inside Dean’s gaping mouth before lifting the legs back again to continue what he was doing.  _Fuck, he sounded sexier like that_.

When Benny saw Dean hold the back of his knees, Benny used his hands to spread the cheeks to have a better access inside the hole, burying his tongue even deeper. The idea of his cock buried deep inside that tight muscle ignited something wild inside of Benny. His doubts and plan to be  _the bitch_  started to get blurry due to his growing lust. Hell, he didn’t even care that they’re butt naked outdoors. Carefully, he eased a finger, without removing his tongue, until the first knuckle entered the tight hole smoothly. Before moving his finger, Benny closed his other hand around Dean’s leaking cock to distract him from the intruding finger, until it reached the third knuckle – his whole finger sheathed inside the hot tight muscle.

The fluttering muscle enveloping his finger felt wonderful. Looking through his eyelashes, Benny saw how Dean’s eyes widened, sure he’s surprised after taking the thick digit, but it’s not from pain.  _Fuck it, I want to hear you_. Benny squeezed the length, watching how the precome ooze from the head, before reaching the improvised gag. Pulling his finger out, Benny watched his finger disappear again when Dean moved his hips forward to impale himself using the finger.

“That’s hot.” Wiggling the thick digit inside his boyfriend, Dean bucked when he hit something inside. Benny scanned the scattered clothes on the platform, trying to find Dean’s jacket where he kept the lube from before.

Impatient. Benny was getting impatient. After failing to locate the jacket, Benny slowly withdrew his finger, making Dean whine for feeling empty, and swiped the precome pooling on Dean’s belly to coat his fingers with it. Benny worked his finger, coated with precome, inside Dean’s hole meticulously before easing another finger in.

Benny kept his eyes on the beautiful man while waiting for the tight muscle to relax around his fingers. Dean looked at him and gave him a small nod for him to continue fucking his hole. Leaning forward, using his forearm to balance himself, Benny captured Dean’s lips with his before moving his fingers. He swallowed the moans his boyfriend was making when he started to fuck him with his fingers, slow and steady. Dean made a frustrated grunt against his lips for being painfully slow, making him curl his fingers inside, hitting that sensitive spot the second time. Benny wondered what was it and started grazing it every time he pushed his digits in. Whatever it was, it made Dean wrapped his arms around his neck and rolled his head backward, singing praises of his name.

A few more strokes on that area pushed Dean over the edge. Hands on his shoulders, Dean – boneless – tried to push him away, begging him to stop, but Benny knew his boyfriend could shoot twice in half an hour – feeling not jealous at all, so he applied more pressure. The hole grasped his finger like a vice and hot come painted both of their chest white.

“Sonofabitch.” Dean breathed out. “I told you to fucking stop.”

Withdrawing his fingers, Benny laid beside Dean, who’s catching his breath, and started peppering his neck with kisses “Oh, shut up. I know you can still go after a few minutes.”

“So you figured.”

“Uh-huh. One day, I’ll fuck you for a whole day; you’ll end up dry heaving after coming so many times.” Growling a little, Benny pulled Dean in his arms, feeling Dean’s mouth against his chest – lapping the come he shot.

“Promise?” Craning his neck, Dean kissed him; wanting to share the come he collected, he put out his tongue and let Benny suck it, who forgot to answer.

They both lay there looking at the stars while Benny waited for Dean to recover, which only took a couple of minutes. Positioning himself between his boyfriend’s legs, Benny slicked his fingers using the lube Dean brought every day in his jacket. Pushing two digits in, the tight hole took it effortlessly before Benny started stretching Dean more by scissoring his fingers, hitting  _that spot_  to tease Dean a little. Ready to add another finger, Dean stopped Benny and pulled him in to capture his lips.

“That’s enough. I want to feel you break me. Feel this for a few days.”

Benny wanted to protest, but knowing how stubborn Dean was, he needed to comply because nothing could change his mind.

“Rubber?”

Confused that there’s none, Benny thought at first that his boyfriend didn’t think this through, but the way his boyfriend smirked at him sent more blood down under, making his cock harder than before; he shook his head fondly at the sexy man beneath him for trusting that he’s squeaky clean.

Coating his length with lube was harder than he thought. Dean, face flushed, ready to be taken was the hottest thing Benny ever witnessed.  _If you can see yourself right now, chief_. Benny thought, hands shaking as he slowly spread the lube on his thick member, squeezing its base hard to halt the building excitement in his guts.

Dean presented himself on all fours, but Benny wanted to see his face as he claimed him, so he flipped Dean on his back and leaned forward to capture his lips while aligning his cock to Dean’s entrance. He needed a distraction, so he kissed him wet and hard until he was breathless. Slowly, the head of his cock pushed past the initial tight ring of muscle, making Dean’s breath hitch a little. Benny didn’t move, he let his boyfriend get accustomed to his bulbous head, knowing his tool was thicker than his fingers.

Inch by inch, Benny slowly penetrated the tight heat using his thick shaft, using every technique he knew to divert Dean’s attention from the stinging pain. Nibbling his jaw, long kisses, playing with his nipples, and even biting. A loud grunt escaped his mouth when their hips touched, cock fully sheathed. The way Dean’s muscle grasp, spasm, and pulsate around his cock was glorious. It’s been a long time since his he had sex like this. And based on what he remembered it was nothing like this.

“God, you’re perfect.” Benny propped himself up to look at Dean, who had his eyes close, breathing heavily underneath him. “You feel amazing, cher.”

With half-lidded eyes, Dean smiled at him and reached bellow them to feel how Benny’s cock stretched his hole – how their bodies become one.  _I’m so proud of you_. Benny thought, watching Dean moan as he flexed his cock – making it even bigger.

“Fucking tease,” Dean said, green eyes glimmering with amusement, wrapping his legs around Benny's waist. “Damnit, Benny. Move.”

Ignoring the coaxing words, Benny traced the sweat-slicked body underneath him using his fingers. “Not yet,”  _I want to know that this is real_. He whispered, kissing Dean’s forehead before continuing what he was doing.  _I don’t want to forget_. He wanted to remember everything. Everything. Starting from the little things like his boyfriend’s breathless gasps to the stars covering the night sky.  _I love you, chief_.

Treating Dean like a fragile vase, Benny moved his hips with utmost care. His thrusts were slow and shallow at first but his pace stayed the same when he started fucking Dean long and deep. He loved how Dean’s hole swallowed his cock and how it wrapped it perfectly. On the other hand, Dean hated how slow it was, begging Benny to fuck him hard. It’s both heaven and hell. The pleasure was heavenly but knowing the stimulation wasn’t enough to put him on edge was mind breaking. Dean wanted more.

Realizing it was torture to Dean, Benny repositioned Dean’s legs from his waist to his shoulders, swatting the hand jerking the leaking cock frantically and held Dean’s both hands above his head – folding him in half by the process. Leaving only the head when he pulled his cock out, Dean’s eyes rolled back to his head when Benny quickly buried his thick shaft inside Dean’s hole. Dean wanted it rough so Benny gave it to him.

His thrusts were punishing. The sound of his balls slapping Dean’s ass every time he buried himself deep was a total turn on. Doing it on the platform without any means of cushion other than the clothes was a bad idea, Benny knew it’ll leave bruises on Dean’s back. The wall of Dean’s hole started to squeeze his shaft. Benny could feel it. Dean’s coming.

Benny figured if Dean could come with only his fingers, maybe he could fuck the come out of his moaning boyfriend – hands-free. Readjusting himself to find a better leverage, Benny started to give it all to Dean, chasing his own orgasm. Apparently, with their new position, his cock applied more pressure on Dean’s sweet spot, causing Dean reached his climax after a few hard thrusts.

With a shout, Dean came hard between them. Like a canon, Dean’s cock spurted jets of thick hot come, painting his chest and stomach white. It was beautiful. His body shook as rode his second orgasm of the night but Benny kept fucking his pulsating hole. It squeezed Benny’s shaft tighter and after four deep hard thrusts, it pushed him over the edge.

Biting Dean’s shoulder to muffle his grunts, Benny came hard inside Dean’s hole, coating its wall with his thick hot come. As he rode his own orgasm, Benny’s hands gave way and he collapsed on top of his boyfriend, pinning him down as his balls sent spurt after spurt of come into Dean’s hole.

As Benny came back from reality, he felt the arms wrapped around him, caressing his head and rubbing his sweaty back, the sweet praises Dean was whispering on his ear, and the idea of rolling over to release Dean from his weight. Slowly, Benny slipped his cock free from Dean’s hole before he lay beside his boyfriend with a sated smile plastered on their faces.

“You know…”  _that I love you, right?_  Benny kept the words to himself, thinking Dean might assume he was not thinking straight after coming down from the high of his orgasm or it's was just cliché.

“Yeah, I know.”

 _Of course, you know_. With eyes full of emotion, too many for Benny to figure, Dean gave him his rare smile. It was different, too different, from his cocky smartass attitude smiles. Without the weight he was carrying on his shoulders, Dean would always smile like that. And Benny couldn’t help but wonder what he did to deserve it.

“Can you walk?”

With a shit eating smile, trying to chase away the emotion building in his chest, Benny stood up and offered his hand.

 

* * *

  

Benny had to carry Dean on his back after watching his boyfriend walk like Bambi. He’s tired after their afternoon activities, plus their  _awesome_  night escapade which he couldn't believe they actually did it, but he's content. It's more than enough than what he asked for.

After reaching their camp, Dean requested to put him down. There was a heater inside his  _baby_  that he forgot to bring with them and wanted to take it by himself. Reluctant, Benny watched Dean, whose legs were still shaking, walk towards the Impala. Laughing at his boyfriend would be a bad idea, even with Dean’s condition; Benny knew Dean could still kick his butt six ways from Sunday.

The Impala was not far, so Benny subtly watched Dean opened the trunk before unzipping their tent. There was a rustling on one of the bushes near their camp that made Benny stop what he was doing.  _Bear?_ He thought with a heart starting to beat fast as he ambled where the sound came from.

A familiar sound of gun cocking broke the silence of the night. Benny heard it before he got shot in Thibodeaux.

“You fucking  _trash_.”

Those were the same words he heard from his unfaithful night. The night he thought he was a goner.  _This is not happening_. Using every bit of energy left in his body, Benny ran towards the place he knew where he’s safe. Towards Dean.

And just like every good thing in life, it came to an early end. A loud gunshot echoed through the forest, waking every living soul on a wide area. Benny felt a stinging pain in his head before his vision blackened.

_Please, don’t let it end this way._

 


	15. Hint

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Something happened and it took me longer to update. Sorry.

Dean could feel the lingering look Benny was giving him behind his back. He couldn’t blame him, though. Benny just wanted to make sure that he made it to his baby without embarrassing himself after acting tough then falling down, face first, on the ground. It’s disgustingly sweet and kind of endearing that Benny was just doing he thought was best for Dean, just being himself – a big sap. And it’s still a miracle he could still walk – okay, barely walk – after being fucked thoroughly by Benny’s enormous member. With shaking legs, slowly but surely, Dean made it to his destination.

He heard it, the loud gunshot disturbing the sleeping woods.  _Fuck_.

It shouldn’t have scared him. But it did. Dean learned to shot a gun before he learned to ride a bike. And for fuck’s sake, his job consisted exchanging gunfire to criminals. This was different though. With shaking hands, Dean – sweat started to bead on his forehead – tried to open the false door of his baby’s trunk. Panicked, different scenarios started to play on his head. Classic Dean.

He wanted to calm himself by counting one to ten, but time was precious at that moment. The familiar sound of that gunshot turned his stomach inside out.  _It’s just rangers shooting a bear._  Dean tried to fool himself but he knew better. Rangers don’t shoot bears and rangers use rifles.

Scared of the crazy ideas of his brain, Dean trudged backed towards their camp – gun in hand, almost forgetting the pain on his rear. Dean, breathing through his nose, focused his attention towards his sore muscles to distract himself from his treacherous mind.

The camp was supposed to be a three-minute walk, but with his adrenaline level, he made it halfway through in less than a minute until he saw a figure with a familiar old coat lying on the ground. His heart sank and his mind started ringing.  _No_. Too focused on Benny’s unmoving body, Dean didn’t hear the cocking of the gun as he ran towards Benny.

He heard the gunshot but his brain didn’t register the bullet hitting him; He fell on the ground meters away from Benny, not understanding what happened until his right shoulder felt hot and warm liquid started to soak his shirt.  _Fuck_. Dean cursed himself for being careless. He should’ve known better. His lifelong experience turned out useless after his heart took over his actions.  _It’s fucking Benny for fuck’s sake_. Eyes locked on his boyfriend, Dean tried to scramble to his feet only to fall on the ground again after his shoulder protested his sudden movement.

“Benny,” Dean called, minding the numbing pain on his shoulder. Without the adrenaline pumping in his body, Dean’s sure he’d passed out from the pain. He swore Benny’s finger twitched a little after hearing his voice while he slowly rose to his feet.  _Thank God_.

“He’s  _gone_.”

The voice coming from the shadows made him want to puke. Dean couldn’t put his finger on that tone when he first heard it back in the alley, but now, it was all clear to him. It was  _amusement_. The satisfaction of controlling the faith of someone’s life in their hands made them feel like gods. These people find their kicks by killing.

If Benny would stay still, he would survive this night, assuming that the man – Martin – thought that he’s dead. The rangers would come soon after hearing the gunshots.

Searching where the voice came from, Dean kept glancing back at Benny. Martin stepped out of the shadows – gun raised, pointing at Dean – while giving Dean a look over.  _My gun_. Dean thought grimly as he subtly scanned where it might fall earlier. Martin realized what he’s doing and shot him inches away from where the first bullet hit him.  _Sadistic motherfucker_. Dean cursed as he crumpled on the ground again.

He'd been shot before but that was nothing like what he experienced. The way bullet ripped his skin and dug into his flesh had him breathe heavily. Small movements drained his energy and caused his eyes to roll backward in pain.

“You really like that spot don’t you?” Dean kid, remembering Benny’s wound when he removed the bullet.  _This fucker loved watching his victim suffer._

Hand on his shoulder, Dean moved away from Benny. Now that Martin’s attention was on him, he just needed a little time to stall before the rangers come. Slowly, Dean backed away until he felt the rough bark of the tree press up against his back.  _Perfect._  Dean maybe at disadvantage but if Martin decided to come a little closer, Dean would lunge at him with his full body weight.

Under the weak light the moon was reflecting on them, the lopsided grin Martin was making made him look more sinister. Standing in front of him, still not close enough, Martin tilted his head while inspecting his features. Amused of how his blood soaked his hand, which was applying pressure to control the blood flow, the  _psychopath_  lowered his weapon, tilted his head, and crouched down to have a better view of his victim.

 _This is my best shot_. Dean thought, panting heavily as he minded the extra effort he needed to reach Martin. As he slowly planted his feet on the ground, Dean closed his eyes a little, acting like he was in pain – the whimpers were real, though – while readying his body to lunge at the smiling psychopath.

Taking a deep breath, Dean pounced.

Not that Martin saw it coming but Dean’s legs betrayed him when he tried to tackle Martin. Dean lost his footing, stumbling on the ground before he even reached Martin who fell on his ass after jumping back – not expecting Dean to charge on him.

In his peripheral vision, Dean saw Martin springing up to his feet before the man flipped him on his back.

“You scared me there, big shot.” Martin spat on his face.

Dean’s eyes shot open when he felt the heel of Martin’s boot applying pressure on his wounds. “Sonofabitch!” Fending off the abusing foot on his wound with one hand appeared to be futile. Every time Dean tried to squirm away, Martin only increased the pressure to pin him down in place.

“That’s right,  _sing_  for me.”

With his vision slowly fading, Dean couldn’t figure if the blood loss was causing it or the exhaustion from his body finally decided to take its toll. Whatever it was, his shoulder started to numb the pain until it was completely gone. Hoping that he’s not passing out from the pain, Dean observed the psychopath above him with half-lidded eyes.

His heart skipped a beat at what he saw. Behind Martin stood a burly figure, striking blue eyes shone from the figure in the dark, and Dean watched everything in slow motion. Benny caught Martin by surprise when he turned him around and punched him right in his face. The sound of nose breaking sent waves of satisfaction to Dean’s worn out body. With one punch, Martin collapsed on the ground beside Dean. Surprising Dean, Benny kicked the gun away from Martin’s limp hand.

Unconscious beside him, Martin didn’t flinch when Benny kicked him with all his might for good measures before helping Dean up on his feet.

“We need to tie the sonofabitch up.” Wincing a little, Dean saw the mixture of blood and dirt caking on Benny’s head. “Your head.”

“It ain’t that bad, chief.” Smacking Dean’s probing hand on his head, Benny turned his head away. “Besides, I’m fitter than you are.”

Now that Benny mentioned being in a better shape than him, his injured shoulder started to throb with pain.  _Need to patch it up soon_. As Dean examined Martin’s busted face – nose twisted in a weird manner, the sound of his labored breath caught Benny’s attention. On his peripheral vision, Dean noticed how Benny shifted his weight from one foot to the other while eyeing his blood-soaked shirt. Hesitant that Martin might move when he’s not looking, Dean tore his gaze away from their attacker to look at Benny whose face was full of concern.

“Benny, I’m fine.”

“No.”

Sighing – wheezing – heavily, Dean wiped his face with his bloodstained hand, mostly smearing it with blood than actually wiping. “Okay, just take my kit. It’s under the-”

“No.”

“Benny-”

“I ain’t leavin’ you alone with  _him._ ”

“Well, you can’t have it both ways, Benny. How about you find my gun--” Dean gestured on the ground, “--and take the kit. It’s under the passenger seat.” Poking the unconscious man using his foot, the little friction in his rear caused his mouth to release a choked whimper. “I’ll keep my eyes on him.”

After grunting his agreement, Benny scanned the ground to find Dean’s gun after picking up Martin’s. It took less than a minute for Benny to find the gun before walking back to Dean who’s having a hard time fishing out his keys.

The sound of multiple gunshots echoing not far away from them halted Dean from tucking the other gun. He wanted Benny to use it but Benny gave him a warning look saying ‘don’t you dare give that to me’ before reaching his hand to take the keys. Locking eyes with his boyfriend, both men nodded their unspoken plan, Dean scanning the area while Benny used his handkerchief as an improvised rope to tie Martin’s ankles expertly.

Side by side, Dean and Benny trod the forest path where the gunfire was coming from. The path was narrow and sharp gravels crunched under their boots. Their careful steps to avoid making a sound turned out to be futile because of the blaring gunshots. Using his experience, Dean counted that there were at least seven gunmen and two rangers.  And like he suspected the rangers in this area use rifles. What made Dean wonder was how the rangers survived that long?

Each step they took made the gunshots louder. Soon enough, the flickering lights of the rangers’ patrol truck together with two darkly colored cars come into sight. Looking back at Benny, who frowned at him for making the ‘I got this’ look, Dean bit his bottom lip and contemplated.  _He’s a civilian. He can handle himself. He can’t punch his way through this._ Without making a sound, Dean nodded and pointed at the nearest well-clothed man using the boulder as cover.  _Seriously, do they have to wear suits all the time?_  They needed to lower the number of threats without declaring their presence. The one Dean pointed at was away from the others making him an easy target.

Nodding his understanding, Dean watched Benny stalk the gunman like a natural predator, using the noise of gunfire to muffle his movements. How Benny sneaked behind the man and put him in a headlock squeezed out a guttural moan from Dean. He almost forgot how strong his boyfriend was. A few second later, the man locked in Benny’s arms limped after passing out due to the shortage of oxygen.  _It’s like Steven Seagal in the flesh_. Benny’s head popped from the bushes and waited for another instruction for him to carry out.

 _He’s a natural_. Dean thought as he scanned the area for Benny’s next target.  _We need a distraction_. Slowly, Dean walked towards Benny’s position, who met him halfway through after noticing how he exerted too much effort walking. Waiting for the remark that didn’t come, Dean took a deep breath and explained his plan. It was simple. Dean would shoot and Benny would ambush the ones who come close.  _Easy peasy lemon squeezy_. What Dean didn’t say to Benny was he’s not a good shot with his left hand – which Benny didn’t point out. So, after positioning himself, Dean shot.

Dean took them by surprise, not expecting that the rangers have any backup, the men cowered from their position and stopped spraying the rangers with bullets. As expected, Dean didn’t hit his target but it gave the rangers an opening to advance so he kept shooting.

The  _goons_  realized what was happening and started to scramble. Four of them ran towards Dean and Benny’s direction while the other two were quickly seized by the rangers. Dean aimed and shot the man closest to them, the man fell like a sack of potatoes while the three searched where the shot came from. The  _three stooges_  found Dean and aimed their guns at him.

Dean was about to hide when Benny jumped behind the three – also surprising them – and took a swing at one of them.  _Damnit, Benny._  It all happened too fast. Benny disarming the second guy – where he learned it would be a good conversation topic – and using it as a blunt weapon to knock the third guy out. The first man Benny punched sprung on his feet and kicked Benny from behind while the second one punched him in the gut.

 _You’re crazy, Benny_. Trudging his way towards where the fight was, with unsteady hand Dean raised his gun and aimed it to the one behind Benny.  _You’re outnumbered and you wanted to fight them with your fists? You idjit. If you die now, I’ll bring you back from the dead to fucking kill you_. The clicking sound of the empty gun had Dean cursing himself for shooting blindly earlier.  _Fucking perfect_.

Throwing the empty gun away, Dean saw Benny being pinned against on one of the pine trees before untucking Martin’s gun. The gun slipped from his sweating hand –  _fucking cliché_  – and fall on the ground. Standing too fast after retrieving the gun caused Dean’s vision to blackout.  _Godfuckingdamnit_. The blood loss, exhaustion, and that last exertion made him light-headed. Stumbling back, Dean fell flat on his ass causing him to arch his back and involuntarily jerk his right arm.

Pine needles covered half of his face when his upper half fell on the ground. His protesting body made Dean realized how tired he was. With half-closed eyes, Dean watched Benny throw the man pinning him like a ragdoll. The way Benny threw the man was just like how Dean remembered back inside the prison where he first met Benny. What Dean couldn’t remember was if Benny bit someone at the prison, like what he was doing with the other guy.

Dean was getting delirious.

While trying to collect his bearing, the piercing scream of a man sped up its process and his eyes flew open. For a few painful seconds, Dean watched Benny tore the guy’s throat using his teeth. Blood squirted from the neck and sprayed Benny’s face with blood.

The man’s scream quieted down as he choked himself with his own blood. There’s something about the straight-from-the-horror scene that stirred Dean’s inside. It’s not fear, disgust, or pity. Whatever it was, Dean almost came in his pants when Benny smiled triumphantly at him with his blood-covered face.  _What’s wrong with me? Nope, we’re not going there_.

The blood staining his boyfriend’s teeth made his smile look predatory but Dean couldn’t help but think how red looked good on Benny.

“Help me up, you crazy sonofabitch," Dean ordered while blowing the needles away from his face. Faking his irritation to cover the amusement in his eyes couldn’t fool Benny – or even a child, but Benny followed with a small smile on his face.

 

* * *

  

“You okay there, chief?” Benny asked, but it sounded more like a threat to the ranger who was removing the second bullet in his shoulder. Dean smiled and nodded reassuringly towards his boyfriend who was grazed by a bullet in his head. No wonder Martin thought he’s dead when his body hit the ground.  _Fuck_. Dean cursed as his heart clenched at the thought of Martin’s initial shot was supposed to be lethal. And the fact that Martin tracked them down to  _finish_  what he started made him more dangerous.

Dean knew there’s something behind it – someone behind it.  _Roman?_

Thinking back, if Dean counted it right, the incident of the night was the fourth since the drug case.  _Of fucking course, it was all Roman._ Dean thought. His plan of rotting Benny inside the prison kicked him hard in the ass because of the information Benny had given to them. But how was Martin connected to him? Martin was there when before Victor’s accident. Martin was there before Rufus got ambushed. Martin was there when Sheriff Hanscum helped Dean. Now, it’s Martin still.

Speaking of the devil, Martin groaned inside the ranger’s truck, finally waking up after Benny punched the lights out of him.

The ranger rose from where he’s crouching in front of Benny, finished wrapping Benny’s head, and walked towards where Martin was.

Now that Benny’s face was free of blood and filth, the dark circles forming under Benny’s eyes became visible. No matter how hard Benny tried to hide it with his perfect smile, Dean could see how tired Benny was. It’s only been two weeks since he rescued Benny from the alley and Benny physically hadn’t recovered from that yet.  _You deserve better than this, Ben._  Taking the hand Benny offered to him, the stinging pain the needle was causing became much bearable. Squeezing the larger hand, Dean cherished how their hands fit perfectly well just like when they first did it inside the Starbucks – before making a fool of themselves.

“You’re still here?”

A laugh without a humor followed the question coming from the truck.

“What do you mean?” The needle penetrating his skin caused Dean to breathe sharply through his teeth. “You know what? Scratch that. Who sent you here?”

“I think it’s more important –“

“Who sent you here?”

“Believe me it’s –“

“ _Who_  sent you here?”

“ _Richard_.”

It took a few seconds for Dean to process the name and why Martin had to use it. The rangers gave them a questioning look but kept their mouths shut. They had no idea who was Richard and they’re too smart to pry into fed’s business.

“Why?” Dean asked the million dollar question. He already had an idea but a confirmation would be nice – only if Martin would say the truth, fat chance.

“Well, my employer didn’t say much other than his name, so…”

Base on Martin’s nonchalant tone, Dean figured it’s all business between the two.

The hand Dean was holding gently squeezed him to get his attention. “Richard?” Benny whispered. “Is he talking about Dick Roman?” Dean’s incredulous reaction about the question – or how Benny knew Roman’s alias – earned him a heavy sigh from Benny. “Come on, Dean, don’t hide things from me.”

“Yes, it’s Roman.”

Benny nodded slowly, trying to process things, and frowned at the surrounding pine trees blocking most the ceiling of stars covering the night. Sighing through his nose, Benny turned his attention back to Dean and whispered. “It’s all because of me isn’t it?”

How Benny subtly glanced at the wound on his shoulder didn’t go unnoticed.

Without the audience surrounding them, especially the ranger wrapping gauze on his shoulder, Dean would pull Benny into his arms and explained that none of it was his fault. It was theirs – his and the department. Catching a big fish like Roman wouldn’t give up that easily without a fight.

“It’s all because of my job, not you. And please, don’t say things like that.”

“Well, how about that?” Benny tipped his head towards his wrapped shoulder. “He shot you because of me. Maybe if –”

“Hey,” Dean interrupted, tugging Benny’s hand harder. “Whatever you’re thinking, don’t you fucking finish that sentence. You hear me?”

Whatever Benny was about to say, Dean hated how Benny’s eyes faded from blue to gray while looking at him. Benny was guilty of something he couldn't control. The throbbing pain of his wound felt like an itch compared to what Benny was doing to him.

A little hesitant, Benny nodded slowly. “Sure, chief.”

Looking at the ranger who just finished dressing his wound, Dean gave a silent request to have a little privacy with Benny. Nodding his understanding, the ranger stood up, walked towards his partner, and double checked the restraints of the suited men.

“Remember back inside the prison when you’re drunk? You told me that I am the best thing that happened to you.”  _I knew back then that what we have is special._ Pulling Benny so they’re sitting side by side, knees bumping each other, Dean rested his forehead against Benny’s. “I know I haven’t told you this yet, but you’re the best that ever happened to me, too. Without you, I’m still probably bitter about my life, I’ll be jealous towards my brother’s stability in life, and I‘ll never appreciate what was left of me.”  _I fucking love you. Can’t you see that?_

“Dean –”

“Shush, I’m not done yet.” That remark pulled a deep chuckle from Benny. “You bring out the best in me.” The cheesy lines coming out of his mouth felt foreign. If his younger self could hear him say those words, he would punch his teeth out for sure. “You show me –”

Benny pressed his lips against him to save him from embarrassment. “No need to punish yourself with words, cher. I get you.” With that, Dean’s lips curved into a smile as he looked at Benny’s eyes.

“Aww, that’s so sweet.”

The snide comment coming from the truck turned Dean’s smile into a snarl.

Benny, as always, sensed Dean’s irritation, so he cupped his boyfriend’s cheek to stop him from glaring at the truck. “Don’t mind him, chief.” Stretching his legs in front of him, Benny’s back popped as he slowly rose from where he’s sitting. “Can you stand?”

“Hey, I’m talking here.”

“Shut your trap.” Dean hissed through his gritted teeth as Benny pulled him to his feet.

“But it’s important.” Martin sang. “Come on, Dean-o.”

“You want some hot chocolate while waitin’ for the other rangers to come? It’s getting cold.” Taking Dean’s arm and bringing it over his shoulder, with steadier legs Benny half carried Dean towards their camp’s direction.

“With marshmallows?” Dean asked; his eyes light up as he let Benny do most of the walking for both of them, their drama totally was forgotten – and also Martin. His father taught him to never show any kind weakness to anyone because people might use it against him. But it's Benny. Benny would never judge him for it. And it's good to let someone – Benny in particular – take care of him and to not be in control for once.

“Sure, but let save some for the s’mores you’re talking about. I never had one of those.”

Dean nodded fondly and thought that his relationship with Benny was full of first times.

Meters away from the truck, Dean realized that if Benny was trying to distract him from the night’s disaster, it’s working alright. Dean should have done it earlier. Without the headlights of the truck to help him see better, Dean had a hard time examining Benny’s features in the dark. Minus the labored breath, Dean would’ve believed Benny was fine.  _No signs of having a concussion_.

“Stop starin’ already, what is it?” Benny grunted trying to sound annoyed as he shifted Dean’s arm to get a better grip.

“How are you, Benny?” Dean asked without a beat. Behind them, he heard Martin screaming about something, but it was all white noise to him.

“I’m fine. Don’t mind me.”

Dean hated how Benny talked just like him. No wonder Sam, Bobby, and Charlie was having a hard time every time there’s something wrong with him.  _I’m fine. Don’t mind me_. Dean always said before.

“No, Benny.” Taking a deep breath, Sam’s words played on his head as though his brother was giving him permission to use his words. “I want the truth. How are you? You're overexerting yourself."

Benny was about to say something when a shout behind them took both of their attention.

“It’s about Sam!”

 _Sam?_  His brother’s name being mentioned had him turning, breaking away from Benny’s sturdy body, his knees give way but Benny caught him in time.  _Not Sammy_. Dean thought grimly, forgetting to thank Benny, and started walking back towards the truck.

 _‘You’re still here?’_  ‘ _I think it’s more important –.’_  Martin’s words rang in Dean’s head. It was not clear to him back then. No. He didn’t think, he chose to ignore the psychopath. Martin may be toying with him but there must be a reason why Martin put an effort for him to hear it.

Just the thought of his brother in danger made him see red.

“And his pregnant girlfriend!”

Hearing Martin mentioned his brother's soon to be fiancée caused Dean to stop in his tracks. A light wasn't necessary for him to see the amusement on Martin’s face. How low could they be? Just like him, Sam was a fellow agent working on the case. But Jessica? Jess was a civilian – a pregnant civilian. She and the baby had nothing to do with them.

Dean needed – no, he wanted – answers.

As he slowly walked towards the truck, the blood flowing in his head blocked the noises around him. Benny was saying something behind him but he couldn’t put his finger on it.

He needed Martin to speak. He needed to know why Sam and Jess were involved in Roman’s plan. He needed to know the level of threat he’s about to deal with. He needed to protect his family. He needed to –.

A firm hand stilled him from his movement and slowly turned him around. Benny was looking directly at him, trying to snap him from the irrational panic building in his guts. There was something about Benny’s blue eyes that calmed him better than Benny’s reassuring touch. It’s like a sea itself, sending a lulling sensation through his body.

“Benny –”  _help._  Dean whispered. If they’re not close, Benny would’ve missed what he said.

"I'm here," Benny said. “I got you.”

Dean couldn’t do it alone. Even with his body fully healed, he needed someone that would keep him grounded. Locking eyes with Benny, Dean realized just then that he didn’t need to do it alone. He got Benny. They’ll do it together.

With Benny by his side, supporting his worn out body, they trudged back towards the truck where Martin greeted them with a smile on his face while sitting comfortably in the truck.

“I told you it’s important.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Maybe I'll add one chapter because I had to cut some part of this chapter.  
> Thank you for reading. :)


	16. What Once Was

Two and a half hours away from Twin Lakes, Dean and Benny were on their way towards New Brighton State Beach. They left the camping grounds in a hurry after hearing Martin’s dirt and had to leave everything behind because of their limited time.

Behind the steering wheel, Dean couldn’t help but notice the embarrassment on Benny’s face under his hat every time he winced when changing gears. It’s not even Benny’s fault that he didn’t know how to drive a car when Dean asked him to because of his condition. At some point, it was Dean's for never asking Benny but kept blabbering about his baby. No wonder Benny just nodded when he's talking about cars and never contribute to the conversation if the topic was about cars. Dean didn’t know if he should be happy that Benny couldn’t do everything, or feel bad that Benny couldn’t drive, a basic skill even teenagers could do.

By focusing on the road, Dean tried to distract himself from his aching body and the impending disaster. While Benny was sitting quietly on the passenger seat with Dean’s phone on his ear, patiently waiting for Sam to pick his phone up, Dean wished for a hot cup of coffee. He’d never thought car seats could be _that_ comfortable, eyes fluttering, the leather-covered seat felt heaven on his back. Maybe he could chase away the sleep if he shut his eyes for a second. _No._ Dean scolded himself. Removing his good hand from the steering wheel, he squeezed his injured shoulder to wake himself up.

While taking a sharp turn, Dean saw Benny jerked from his seat when Sam finally answered his phone after the umpteenth time. Unsure of what to say, Benny stretched his hand and held the phone up for Dean to answer.

“ _Dean?”_ Sam greeted with a yawn. _“It’s… two in the morning._ ”

Without explaining himself, Dean cut to the chase and asked. “Sammy, where are you?”

“ _No ‘Congratulations, Sammy’?”_

Dean heard his brother scoffed and some shuffling at the end of the line. Even without seeing his brother, Dean knew Sam was shaking his head in disbelief. Of course, Dean knew Sam just proposed to Jess that night, and of course Dean knew Jess would say ‘yes’ to his dorky brother, but that’s less important from the predicament Sam was unaware of. It could wait. Everything could wait. Just let them survive Roman’s last hurrah.

“Sam, I need you to -”

“ _Jess said yes!”_ Sam cut him off. _“Everything went according to plan, Dean!”_ Sam sounded cheerful, oblivious to their situation, but the way he lowered his voice suggested that Jessica was sleeping.

“Uh, congratulations…” Dean bit his lower lip to stop himself from talking, shook his head, and grunted. _It can wait_. “You know what? I’ll congratulate you two in person. Now, where are you? Are you two still in the boat?”

“ _What is it with you, Dean?_ ” There was another shuffling from the line and Dean heard a female voice. The voice may be incomprehensible from his phone but it was obviously Jessica. _“Go back to sleep, it’s just Dean._ " His brother whispered. After another convincing from Sam, Dean heard some ‘I love you's' followed by the sound of a heavy door being opened. " _What’s up, Dean?”_ Strong winds could be heard from the background, muffling Sam’s question. 

“Sam, are you still in Bobby’s boat?”

The possibility of Bobby’s boat being docked at some pier crossed Dean’s mind. But it’s Dean. For him, Sam anchored the boat in the middle of the Atlantic, so he would never assume that Sam and his fiancée were safe until he saw them out of the water.

“ _Yes, Dean. Why? Damnit, it’s cold out here._ ”

“Are you –” _Please, let me be right this time._ “- docked somewhere?”

“ _No_.”

 _No?_ “Can you tell me where you are?”

“ _I don’t know maybe an hour away from the shore. You’re scaring me here, Dean. What’s happening?_ ” Sam’s voice sounded firmer, sleep finally wearing off, and his tone was just like what Dean remembered when his brother – nosy brother – wanted to know what trouble he just did.

 _An hour?_ Dean thought. If Martin was saying the truth, Sam and Jessica still got plenty of time to stay away from the boat. Dean knew it’s wrong to trust the man, who apparently wanted them dead, but his instinct made him want to. No, years of interrogating men like Martin made him want to. Glancing at the speedometer, Dean calculated if they could make it in an hour to reach the beach. _An hour and a half? I can make it in an hour._ Flooring the gas, knuckles white from gripping the steering wheel too tight, Dean contemplated if Sam needed to know what was happening.

Considering Jessica’s condition, even if she could handle pressure better than Sam, Dean didn’t know how she would react to their situation. Or how would Sam deliver it. _Maybe Sam will not tell Jess._ He thought. _But who will sail the boat, genius?_

“ _Dean?_ ”

“Nothing.” Dean finally decided. “Just… Can you just return to the shore and stay away from the water.”

“ _Dean…_ ”

“Sam, _please_. Trust me on this one.” _Sense the tone, Sammy._

Mixing with the strong winds blowing at the end of the line, Dean heard a resigned sigh from Sam.

“ _Okay… okay._ ” After some shuffling, another loud thud and jingling of keys could be heard before Sam continued talking. “ _We’ll be docking at the pier, the one closest to Jessica’s parent’s beach house. You know where it is right?”_

A sigh of relief escaped Dean’s mouth when his brother finally took the hint and started moving. Not that he blamed Sam for being worried. Hell, Sam had all the rights to get worried. His brother calling him two in the morning and wanted them out of the water without explaining why would raise questions.

“Sure. We'll wait for you there.”

“ _Uh, Dean?_ ”

“Yeah?”

“ _You better tell me everything there.”_

“Sure.”

Without saying any goodbye, Dean glanced at Benny, whose eyes looked bluer under the shadow of his hat, for him to end the call after hearing the ignition followed by the low rumble of boat’s motor.

A few minutes after Benny ended the call, on the corner of his eyes, Dean felt Benny’s not so subtle glances and saw how he played with the sleeve of his peacoat. He knew those glances. Back at the prison, Benny had that habit of glancing at him whenever the man got a question but he’s too shy to voice it out.

At that moment, Dean realized that he and Benny had only been together for two weeks after the Thibodaux incident. Not counting their road trips and so-called ‘vacation', they dated just once and that was two months ago where they made it official. He’d only met him in the prison half a year ago but it felt longer as if he knew the man all his life. And in a short period of time, the man who drawled his way towards Dean’s heart, Benny clung to him through thick and thin.

Removing his right hand from the steering wheel, Dean offered it to Benny, who accepted it with both hands, before asking. “What’s bothering you, Benny?”

"It's stupid," Benny answered while shaking his head no. Caressing the back of Dean’s hand, slowly, Benny lifted it to plant a kiss before intertwining their fingers together.

Not buying his boyfriend’s excuse this time, with an exaggerated sigh, Dean let Benny know that he was rolling his eyes by moving his head slightly. “Come on, don’t give me that crap.”

“It’s stupid.”

“Benny.” Dean threatened. With a grunt, he tugged Benny’s hand and regretted it when one of his stitches snapped. Through his gritted teeth, he took a sharp breath to ease some of the pain while mentally cursing the ranger who poorly patched him up. If he knew it'll happen, he should've stitched it himself.

Sighing beside him, Dean felt Benny’s thumb caressing the back of his hand as he slumped down in his seat.

“How are you?” Benny asked.

“I’m fine. My stitches just -”

“No.” Clasping his hand, Benny cut off, his voice boomed inside the close confines of the Impala. Quite shocked, Impala swerving off the road, Dean hadn’t seen or heard Benny like that. And it was the closest to being angry Dean had ever witnessed his boyfriend be. _Benny had enough bullshit already_. After releasing a long sigh to compose himself, Benny repeated his question, squeezing Dean’s hand to punctuate what he meant. “ _How_ are _you_?”

The smoothness of Benny’s voice, a contrary from his tone a few seconds ago, calmed Dean’s fast beating heart.

_How am I? An hour ago, I’m scared to death of Sam and Jessica’s situation but not anymore. Now, my body hurts, I’m tired, my stitches just snapped, but overall, I’m fine, Benny. But would you believe me if I said that I’m fine? How about you, Ben, how are you? The bullet that was meant to kill you barely missed a few hours ago. You almost died, again, Benny. And you’re worried about me?_

“You know.” After assessing himself, Dean started. “I was the one asking that question earlier. How about you tell me _how are you_ first, and then I’ll answer.”

The way Benny's hand went lax in his hand, Dean knew Benny was hiding something, but he didn't want pry things out and preferred Benny opening up to him.

While clicking his tongue, Benny tapped his thick fingers on Dean’s hand, contemplating if he wanted to share first how he was. Benny arched an eyebrow with a hopeful – begging – shine in his eyes before saying. “To be honest, I ain’t sure myself, chief. Want to call it even?”

Relishing the small circles Benny was drawing on the back of his hand using his thumb, with a defeated sigh, Dean figured Benny was being honest. And even though he wanted to know if Benny’s body was hurting, he had to comply with his boyfriend’s wish to call it even. _Damn those blue eyes._

“Sure.”

“Awesome or peachy?” Benny asked using Dean’s words with a shit eating smile, showing his perfect white teeth, knowing all too well what it could to do to Dean.

“Peachy," Dean replied, a smile threatening to slip from his treacherous lips. _Damn that contagious smile._

“Peachy then.”

Unsure of how Benny did it, but the tension in the air evaporated and Dean could’t help but smile back at Benny even though he knew Sam and Jess were still in danger. _They can make it._ _The bomb won’t detonate until four in the morning._ Dean assured himself before remembering their conversation with Martin.

 

…

_Two and a half hours ago._

“I told you it’s important.”

Using his good hand to lean on the truck, Dean spared Benny a glance to silently thank him for half carrying him there. With a deep sigh, preparing himself for the apparent bad news, Dean inspected the man with a smug look on his face while sitting comfortably inside the truck.

“Spill.”

“What is it for me, then?”

Dean expected that would happen. Martin got an important information Dean badly needed, and he wouldn’t just give it without something in exchange. Freedom. That’s the first thing he guessed Martin wanted in return. Martin was cornered and desperate for an escape. He could play along; pretend that he would actually release the man who wanted Benny dead – well, paid to kill Benny.

"What do you want?" Voice flat, Dean asked, thinking of how many fingers he needed to break if ever Martin decided to do it the hard way.

“Nothing, actually.”

“What?”

“Nothing. I’m just messing with you.” Wiping his mouth with his cuffed hands, Martin shook his head and continued. “Come on, Dean-o. I know you think of me as a psychopath but I happen to love children. Not in a perverted way, mind you. It’s just... hurting women and children, especially the ones that haven't been born yet is against my rules.”

“Huh.” Benny snorted in disbelief behind Dean.

“What, you can’t believe someone like me has a soft spot for children?” Martin shouted at Benny to hear it clearly from where he was standing.

Tapping the glass to get Martin’s attention, Dean asked one of the grim possibilities that entered his mind. “So, if Jessica’s not pregnant, you won’t even give us a head up?” Without replying, Martin just smiled at him and shrugged before slumping on his seat, knowing he was safe inside the truck. “Sonofabitch!”

Dean was about to punch the truck window when he felt Benny’s firm hand on his arm. Seconds later, his wound protested after his mindless action, making Benny drop his arm with an apologetic look on his face when he winced.

“Oh, unclench. You should be thanking me for my intel.”

“Cut to the chase," Voice calm, Benny ordered, making Martin cower inside the truck. Even Dean could feel it, the intent to rip Martin’s throat off. After tearing his murderous gaze from Martin, Benny shot him a small smile and the feeling was gone as if nothing happened.

Inside the truck, Martin sat up straight and faced the two men waiting for an explanation.

“Your boss has a boat right?” Without waiting for Dean’s confirmation, Martin continued. “Well, there’s a bomb planted inside somewhere in It.” Feigning a sympathetic look, looking between Dean and Benny, Martin slowly bobbed his head to coax Dean, whose facial expression had a mixture of disbelief and horror.

“Bomb?” Dean choked out.

“Yeah, you see, Mr. Roman owns plenty boats and using his knowledge of them he devised a plan to sink one and make it appear like an accident.”

While his brain tried to process everything, Dean didn’t notice the amusement plastered on Martin’s face.

Enjoying the horrified expression Dean was making and his inability to talk at the moment, Martin took advantage and elaborated the plan Roman devised.

“First, there will be some engine _problem_ , then, a small explosion that will cause a small hole, slowly sinking the boat, and finally, a big explosion. It was tastefully done, believe me.”

Dean watched Martin’s lips move but he couldn’t make out the words from them. The blood rushing in his head blocked every sound except the loud thumping of his heart and his heavy breathing. He needed to get out of there. He needed to save Sam and Jess. Until a familiar comforting hand on his shoulder jerked him back to reality. _Benny._

“No, that’s impossible.” Dean tried to deny, Martin’s words finally sinking in. “How the fuck did you know where it was -”

“Come on.” Martin interrupted. “Do you think we just magically appear here, huh? We knew about the cabin, and when you two run away from your office, all we had to do was wait there. Actually, were suppose to kill your hubby inside that cabin and make it look like you -”

“How much time do we have left?” Benny cut off beside Dean, gripping his shoulder hard enough to hurt. And at that moment, Dean realized that there’s no room for panic attacks. He… no… they need to save Sam, Jessica, and their unborn child. Benny was right. They need to know how much time they have left.

…

 

Arriving at the pier ten minutes earlier, traffic rules be damned, Dean and Benny had been watching the same horizon since then. _Where the hell are they?_ Dean screamed in his head while sighing to calm himself down, his breath fogging in the cold. Hands tucked in his armpits; he trudged on the other side of the platform, woods creaking under his boots, thinking a change of position might give him a better view of the calm water.

Too focused on any sign of Bobby’s boat, Dean didn’t bother looking at Benny when his boyfriend said: ‘Calm down, Dean’. He just grunted and eyed the small wooden boat tied on one of the platform’s support.

“Don’t even think about it, chief," Benny warned. “It’s still too dark. You can’t just paddle your way blindly out there without a torch.”

Dean tensed up a little when Benny said ‘you can’t’ but his body relaxed quickly when Benny was more concerned about navigating the water without a light and not because of his injured shoulder. For fuck’s sake, he could fucking do it with his condition. Proving his point to himself, Dean subtly rolled his injured shoulder only to regret it when the snapped thread slipped free from the skin.

Beside him, Benny grunted without tearing his gaze from the horizon. Waiting for the ‘I told you so’, Dean spared Benny a glance and saw the longing in his boyfriend’s eyes, a contrast with his stern feature. After twenty long years of being wrongly imprisoned, Benny was finally reunited with the sea. And now that Dean thought about it, Benny had spent his life longer inside those walls than here, outside. _It shouldn’t be like this_.

“There.” Benny pointed with his left hand while the other slid around Dean’s waist, pulling him closer.

A pair of light – green and red – peeked over the horizon. Dean could almost hear the low rumble of Bobby's boat mixing with the roar of tides every time it crashes on the shore. _Finally, they’re safe_. Dean thought, but the hand holding him in place told him otherwise when it stopped making small circles on his back.

He wanted to ask why but he figured it himself. _The boat is not moving._ It’s still on the spot where it appeared, a few hundred meters away from them – from the shore.

“It’s not moving.” Dean couldn't help but feel pathetic about how he said it

“Calm down, Dean.” The shakiness in Benny’s tone didn’t go unnoticed by Dean. “Maybe there’s…”

 _An engine problem._ Dean mentally supplied when Benny didn’t finish his sentence and dropped his hand from his back.

As if on cue, the explosion coming from the boat’s direction disturbed the empty pier’s silence. And Dean saw it all happen just like in the movies. The boat’s navigation lights flickered before it sparked causing a small fire that quickly enveloped quarter of its bow section, painting the dark blue sky with orange and yellow.

_No._

What happened next after that barely registered to Dean. He knew he was watching the embers float coming from the flames, so he was confused when found himself fumbling with the rope keeping the wooden boat at bay with his fingers. His shaking hands kept slipping as his tears started to obstruct his vision.

_Sammy... Jess..._

A big hand covered both of his hands stilling its movement. It’s Benny, of course. “Dean.” His boyfriend tried to calm him down, but Dean was having none of that. Sam and Jessica were out there and he needed to save them. Save his family. There’s no time for talking, they’ll do it later. _Benny will understand._

Jerking both of his hands away, Dean turned his head to look at Benny, whose eyes reflecting the light from the burning boat, as he balled his hands into a fist. _I need to save Sam._ Dean thought before swinging his left fist and landing squarely on Benny’s bearded jaw.

Dean didn’t bother watching Benny stumble backward when he continued untying the knot of the rope. He heard Benny spat something at the water before standing behind him. _I don’t have time for…_ His thought was halted when Benny’s thick fingers dug into his wound as Benny pulled him up from where he was kneeling and onto his feet.

Ready to swing an arm again, Dean felt the scrape of his boyfriend’s rough beard against his cheek before their lips met, both hands finding their way to fist Benny’s coat. A hint of copper mixing with Benny’s mint toothpaste hit his nose when Benny broke off the kiss. It calmed him down a little and Benny took full advantage of it. He heard Benny say ‘I’m sorry about this, chief’ before he felt his boyfriend’s fist connecting with his jaw.

 _Motherfucker_. Dean cursed as his back hit the wooden platform. Based on his knowledge, he knew Benny could knock the lights out of him but opted to put him out of commission for a few seconds, which was long enough for him to take the boat with him to do what Dean was supposed to be doing, saving his family. Head still ringing, Dean managed to gain his feet and saw Benny climb onto the boat, foot ready to push away from the platform.

“Get your ass back here, Lafitte.” Dean slurred. _Sam is my responsibility, Benny, not yours._

“I’ll bring ‘em back before you know it.”

“I’m going with you.” _We’re supposed to do it together, asshole._ Slowly regaining his vision, Dean jogged towards the boat, stumbling a few times.

“Not happenin', chief," Benny said while kicking the platform. “Boat is too small for the four of us. Stay here.” When the boat started moving, Benny quickly sat in the middle of the boat, grabbed the paddles, and started paddling, fast, so Dean jumping onto the boat would be out of the window. “Call 9-1-1.”

“Fuck you!”

“And I love you.” Benny countered.

Dean was caught off guard by Benny’s words, stilling him from moving. _And I love you._ Benny’s words echoed in his head. The normal response should be ‘I love you too’ but his throat tightened as he choked back the words. He wanted to say it, fuck, he really did. Instead, all he could do was watch Benny row away.

_I’ll say it later. Benny needs his mind straight. No distractions._

If he was not mistaken, it was the second time Benny said that to him, the first time was when Benny talked about him being safer inside the prison crap. _Call 9-1-1._ Now that Dean’s head stopped ringing, he jogged back to his baby where his phone was while caressing his cheek, guessing it’ll bruise later, but it sure did snapped him back from his irrational breakdown. With his mind clear, Dean remembered how tough his little brother and Jessica were. Petty explosions wouldn't cause panic to those two. They’re not _Dean_. And Benny would be there to save them. Benny was right, always was, the least he could do with his condition was call emergency.

 

*******

 

 _And I love you._ Benny repeated in his head. He knew Dean was never a fan of _sappy_ words, so he shouldn’t be surprised when Dean froze from where he was standing, but he was, and a little sad for assuming Dean would say it back. Tightening his hold on the paddles, Benny cursed himself as he doubled his effort paddling towards the burning boat. He had no right to feel sad, he should be at least angry at himself. Sam and Jess were in danger and he couldn’t keep his mouth shut.

_I’ll apologize later; I need to take Dean’s family out of the water._

Halfway towards the boat, Benny didn’t seem to mind the piercing cold until his teeth started chattering. Even with his tattered coat, the wind felt colder than what his body remembered when he was younger. Paddling faster, hoping to produce more body heat, he tried to remember any memories of him fishing in the sea. But he failed. His imprisonment took it all away from him. He knew he and his father used to fish early in the morning but what’s left were bits and pieces. It's like the memories weren't even his anymore as if it belonged to someone else’s.

 _Eh, I prefer cookin’ than fishin’ anyways._ Benny joked as his body started protesting. He had been exerting too much and he knew Dean had noticed it. Dean was already worried sick thinking about Sam and Jess, and Benny didn’t want to be an extra burden. _Call it even?_ His attempt to hide things from Dean weighed heavy on his chest. Well, at least he’s not lying. _If I didn’t say it, then I’m not lying._ He tried to convince himself as the gut-wrenching smell of burning plastic hit his nose.

A muffled sound of a coughing woman and some grunting could be heard through the crackling of fire when Benny reached Bobby’s boat. _This is a yacht, Dean._ Benny scoffed at his boyfriend’s description of Bobby’s _big_ boat. _Well, at least you know plenty about cars._ After loosely tying the rope, Benny climbed up the _yacht_ and ran where the voices were coming from, only stumbling once as he tried to regain his sea legs.

“Sam, do it faster!” Benny heard Jessica ordered as he entered the interior, spacey but nothing fancy, simple just like Bobby. _Focus, dumbass._

“I’m trying. Just… relax, okay.”

The voices brought him to the engine room where Jessica was standing outside. Jessica, who gave him a bewildered look, pointed inside the room where Sam was cursing under his breath. _Weird, the smoke’s thinner here._ Benny thought as his eyes started to water. The visibility inside was clearer than the deck. After scanning the dim room, he figured that the huge hole in the ceiling cleared most of the smoke when it collapsed, but the oxygen might feed the fire causing it to grow faster over time. _We need to get out of here._

“Sam?” Benny hollered when he didn’t see Sam’s tall figure inside the room.

“Benny, what are you doing here?”

Sam stood up from where he was kneeling in front of the fallen ceiling before fisting Benny’s coat with one hand. It wasn’t hostile, just holding Benny as if he was helpless. _Huh._

“Nu-uh, we’ll talk later. I need the both of you out of here.”

“Great,” Sam exclaimed before pulling Benny. “So Jessica told you huh.”

Confused, Benny stopped and grabbed Sam by the arm, who quickly jerked it from his hold. “What?”

“You said no talking. Just help me pry Bobby out of there.”

_Bobby? Dean didn’t say anything about Bobby._

A groan coming from the fallen debris snapped Benny from his thoughts. Quickly, Benny knelt on the other end of the ceiling. Sam followed suit before signaling him with a nod. Using his back and leg muscle, Benny managed to lift it with a little effort, trying to reserve every bit of his energy.

“Sam,” Bobby coughed, he didn't sound hurt or anything, and Benny was glad of that. “Who’s out there with you?”

“It’s Benny.”

“Dean’s Benny?”

“Yeah.”

Benny’s heart swelled up after hearing that he was Dean’s. Whistling to get Sam’s attention, he jerked his head towards the opening – big enough to fit Sam – to pull Bobby out while he kept it ajar. As Sam slowly released the other end, Benny spread his legs, took a lungful of filthy air – ignoring the burning sensation of his lungs, and braced himself for the extra weight.

Sam quickly maneuvered his body and crawled inside the confined space where Bobby was trapped. A few seconds later, Sam came out with Bobby in tow, looking weirdly naked without his trucker hat.

"Go to your girlfriend," Bobby ordered to Sam. Reluctant, Sam nodded and jogged towards Jessica after mumbling his thanks to Benny. “Damnit, I think my leg's broken," Bobby said as Sam exited the room.

Slowly releasing the huge piece of metal, Benny shrugged his coat off and offered it to Bobby who arched an eyebrow but accepted it anyway. His undershirt and sweats was enough to protect him from the freezing cold outside. "Here, let me." Offering his hand, Benny helped Bobby stand up and escorted him out the burning room.

“How’d you planning to save us, boy?” Bobby asked with a huff.

“I brought us a boat. Well, it’s barely a raft if you ask me.” Benny answered with a humorless laugh. Bobby was about to say something when the boat shook abruptly almost losing his balance but Benny helped him anchor his weight. “We need to get out of here.”

As they reached the deck, Benny noticed through the thick smoke and embers that Sam had a look on his face in which he had known too well after seeing his boyfriend had done it a couple of times in less than twenty-four hours. _But why?_ He didn’t need to ask because Sam announced it himself.

“Jess’ water just broke.”

_Great._

“Then get her out of here, you idjit.” Bobby yelled at Sam. “Lafitte, give them a hand.” He ordered as he reached for the metal railings, pushing Benny away before using the tattered coat to filter the air.

Without protesting, Benny ran towards the wooden boat, reached a hand, and helped Jessica get settled onto the boat. He quickly grabbed Sam by the arm and felt a thick warm liquid soaking his jacket. _Blood?_ Benny guessed as he jerked his hand away and remembered how the boat shook a few minutes ago. Using the flames, he raised his hand to confirm if he was right, but Sam grabbed it and shook his head no. _Of course._ Grunting his understanding, Benny helped Sam sit beside his fiancée, feeling how the boat dipped with their combined weight.

“Wait here. I’ll fetch Bobby.” Benny rasped, he had been inhaling smoke and his chest started to hurt, a small price to pay for saving Dean’s family. Sam nodded and focused his attention back to Jessica who was convincing him to breathe with her to calm his nerves, a fine woman she was.

In spite of his leg, Bobby managed to hobble halfway through when Benny reached him. If Benny remembered right, a flashy explosion was meant to happen in a few moments. Half carrying Bobby’s weight, he helped the tough old geezer make his way into the boat.

Carefully adding his weight, Benny quickly withdrew his foot when his fisherman instinct buried deep inside his head started ringing. _Overload_. The boat had reached its passenger capacity. He was right from the start that the wooden boat couldn’t carry four people at once.

A dry laugh escaped from Benny as he untied the boat, and that didn’t go unnoticed by Bobby who quickly grabbed him by the leg.

“What are you thinking, boy?” Bobby hissed, low enough for Sam and Jessica to hear.

Clutching the rope tight in his hand, Benny crouched and studied Bobby’s features, air fogging in each shaky breath. He knew Bobby without his cap shouldn’t have bothered him but it did. Using his other hand, Benny removed his precious cap Dean bought to him and carefully placed it on top of Bobby’s head. “You got life-preservers here, right?” He asked, trying to avoid Bobby’s question.

Bobby, not letting go of the leg, dreaded what Benny was planning. “What the _fuck_ are you thinking?”

“I…” Benny started. “Bobby we don’t have time. Jessica’s in labor.”

“Don’t give me that bullshit. It’s too damn cold if you’re planning to swim, you idjit.”

“I’ll manage.”

“Don’t you fucking say ‘you’ll manage’, damnit.”

“Then what do you want me to do, Bobby?” Almost shouting, he ran a hand over his face, feeling the grime of smoke and ashes mixing with his cold sweat.

“Let me stay. You bring these two back to shore.” Letting go of the trembling man’s leg, Bobby was already maneuvering his body to get off the boat. “The boat won’t sink for another hour, so I can wait here.”

“No.” Benny refused, pushing Bobby back down inside the boat as he stood up, barely hiding how his legs shook with exhaustion. He knew the explosion would happen at any moment, and leaving Bobby behind was never an option. "Like you said, the boat won’t sink for another hour, so… I need a life-preserver if _something_ happened.”

“Fine, then promise me you won’t swim.” Taking one of the paddles, Bobby used it to poke Benny. “And you’ll wait here for someone to get you.”

“Deal.” As he watched Bobby position himself, Benny tossed the rope inside the boat to get Bobby’s attention. “Bobby…” he started. “whatever happens… keep paddling.” Without waiting for a reply, Benny kicked the wooden boat away to give it a little momentum before running back inside the burning boat.

 

*******

 

Restlessly pacing on the platform, Dean heard the distant wail of ambulance siren getting louder and louder with every passing second. _Calm down, Dean._ Benny’s drawl echoed in his head, but he couldn’t relax without his boyfriend’s touch. And the threat of the last explosion Martin mentioned hadn’t happened yet.

The smoke was too thick to see what was happening in the boat. Not that he had a heightened vision or anything, but a glimpse of the deck would be nice, something that would answer his question: if they were still onboard.

*BOOM*

Dean’s heart sank after witnessing the explosion, knocking him backward and disturbing the sleeping beach. If the blast was enough to knock him on his ass, a hundred meters away from the source of impact, he dreaded that no one could survive to an explosion that big in close proximity. After getting back on his feet, Dean watched the burning pieces of the boat fall, lighting the dark beach, and noticed a flashing light standing out from the falling embers.

_What the?_

With the ember’s help, his eyes widened when a silhouette of a boat came into sight, with Sam’s phone up in the air. _One… two… three…_ Dean counted. The familiar sight of Benny’s coat perfectly molding his broad back and his hat caused Dean’s heart to skip a beat. Without a doubt, he knew from the start that Benny could bring his family back.

He heard footsteps behind him mixing with the blaring siren as he sank on his knees. With every bit of his worries evaporating into thin air, his exhaustion started to hit him wave after wave, he could finally breathe.

As one of the EMT tried to talk to him, the other medics made their way to get Jessica out of the boat with Sam. Smacking the hand beaming his eyes with a small flashlight, Dean stood up and trudged towards Benny who didn’t attempt to leave the boat, or at least stand up. With the blood rushing in his head, he didn’t hear what his little brother said. He just patted Sam on the shoulder before pushing his way towards Benny.

“I fucking love you, you big sap.” Dean declared, loud enough for the whole EMT team to hear before falling on his knees and wrapping his arms around Benny from behind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been very busy, I'm sorry about that, but I think - I think - I can finish this before March ends.  
> But I'm pretty sure I need to add another chapter.  
> Well, thank you for reading, guys. :)


	17. From The Ashes

_“I fucking love you, you big sap.”_

As those words wafted at the pier, filtered by the crashing waves, Jessica’s groans, the EMTs hushed conversations, and the blaring siren, his own words resonated in his head. There’s that nagging feeling gnawing its way from the back of his mind saying: everything’s wrong. But he ignored it, pushing it back to where it came from. Benny’s here. Sam and Jess were safe. His family was safe. They’re safe.

The moment Dean buried his face on Benny’s shoulder, his body collapsed as exhaustion finally taken its toll, Benny turning just in time to catch him. With his eyes closed, he circled his arms around Benny’s neck to help himself up. Stubborn as hell, Dean did his best not to pass out, wanting to relish every bit of warmth Benny was radiating. The EMTs might be staring at them but he didn’t give a damn. All he wanted now was to hug Benny while trying to forget the corniness of his public announcement.

"Thank you, Benny," Dean mumbled, feeling Benny’s huge hand caress his head as he nosed the tattered coat, smelling the smoke lingering there before half-consciously wrapping his limbs around his boyfriend.

With Benny in his arms, he couldn’t fathom why he still felt uneasy even now that his family was safe. He should relax now that everyone’s okay. But as he clung to Benny as though he was drowning, he slowly regained each of his senses.

It started from his touch when he noticed how big Benny felt in his arms and how thick Benny’s beard against his skin, followed by his smell when his nose couldn’t seem to find Benny’s minty scent. He figured it was just the smoke, but when he buried his nose on Benny’s neck, the smell of whiskey and cologne hit him. Benny had never worn a cologne since he had met him, and Benny last drank something alcoholic was when he snuck a whiskey inside the prison. _No…_

He heard Benny said his name, but the way the blood rushed in his head, it sounded different than how his boyfriend always said it, soft. _No…_

“Dean.”

 _Smoke fucks everyone’s throat._ Dean denied when Benny’s soothing voice was replaced by a gruff one like it belonged to someone else, someone he knew too well. _No…_ For the first time, he wished that he was wrong as he hugged the man tighter, knowing that letting go would make things real. _No…_

Breaking free from his tight embrace, the man turned to look at him and held his face in place with his big hands, thumbing the tears falling freely on his cheeks. _When did I start crying?_ Through his blurred vision, the man’s supposed familiar features turned out different. The beard was wrong. The nose was wrong. The cheeks were wrong. The lips were wrong. And those goddamn eyes were not the same shade as Benny’s. Everything’s wrong. _No…_

“Dean!” Bobby tried, but his mind was having a hard time to accept the fact that the man in front of him was not the man he loved.

The taste of metal filled his mouth when his brain fully registered that the person who came back was Bobby, not Benny. Heart pounding and mind racing, Dean couldn’t understand why Bobby was the one who brought back Sam and Jess. And what he was doing at the boat. He’s not supposed to be there. _No…_

Everything’s a blur after that. He knew he blacked out at some point when he realized Benny was left behind at the boat, the boat that exploded and was still burning in front of him. But before that, he heard shouting behind him – Sam, Bobby, and others, and then he felt freezing cold water soaking his body as he tried to swim his way towards the boat – towards Benny. He knew he wasn’t successful of his plan when he found himself strapped inside an ambulance, thrashing and screaming.

“My boyfriend’s still out there, you sonofabitch!” He screamed.

On the corner of his eyes, he saw one of the EMTs trying to hide a syringe filled with a clear liquid. Whatever its content was, he didn’t need it. What he needed was Benny. He tried begging the people inside the ambulance, but nothing. The EMTs assured him that everything will be alright as one of them successfully injected him with something. And just like that, the ache he’s trying to ignore in his body became bearable. It slowly calmed him down and his body started to relax. Before passing out again, he wondered why he was still hurting if the pain was already gone.

 

* * *

 

A few hours later, the constant beeping of machines stirred him awake from his dreamless sleep. Room still dark due to his unfocused vision, Dean groaned and turned his head to inspect his surroundings. _Hospital_. He guessed as his nose flared with the smell of antiseptic.

A familiar figure sitting in the corner caught his eyes, phone raised on his ears. He couldn’t put his finger on it, but he knew the man was having a muffled conversation with someone. Dean tried to eavesdrop but the beeping blocked most of the words. He had heard _urgent_ , his and Sam’s name, and some cursing – typical Bobby.

“Bobby?” Dean rasped, having no memory of screaming his lungs out.

Bobby looked at him before pressing the end call on his phone. “Dean.” Bobby started. “Go rest some more.”

“What?” Dean tried to move his hands, only to discover he couldn’t move any of them. _What?_ Panic started bubbling in his gut. He’s not a fan of being constrained, so his first instinct was to flail before calmly figuring out what to do. But he’s not in danger. He’s in a fucking hospital bed, restrained. _Awesome_.

“You idjit, don’t move too much.”

“Bobby, why am I -” Tugging the restraints connected to the bed railings, disturbing the silence of the room, Dean noticed the wires and IV catheters inserted in his arms.

Knowing his adoptive son too well, Bobby sighed deeply at the sight of Dean having a little panic attack and rolled his way towards the bed using his wheelchair. “Calm down, boy.” He said while double checking the restraints.

“Calm down? Bobby, I’m like Houdini over here.” Bobby shrugged, and all Dean could do was slump on the bed. Now that he had time to think, the earlier events at the pier all came rushing back to him. “Benny…”

Bobby put a reassuring hand on Dean’s arm and said, “There are already people searching for him.”

Still worried, he glanced around the awfully white room and scowled at the windows which were completely blocked by the blinders, making it impossible to determine what time it was. “How long have I been out?”

With that, Bobby explained that he had been unconscious - on and off - for eight hours. One of Bobby’s friends, the one he was calling when Dean woke up, had connections to the police making it possible to pull strings and start the search at the beach, fast. Whoever it was, Dean thought the guy had a high position to gather people on short notice. But still, it also meant that Benny had been missing for straight eight hours.

Bobby tried to assure him that Benny was wearing a life jacket before the explosion happened, but Dean saw how strong it was. He knew Benny was strong as a bull and could swim like a fucking fish, but the nagging voice in his head whispered: an explosion that big could _kill_ anyone in close proximity.

A firm monotonic knock made both men look at the door and saw a nurse who delivers food in each room, Sam hovering behind her. Bobby raised and waved his phone, silently excusing himself to Dean, and rolled his way to avoid overcrowding the room.

Sam made a pleading look as he and the nurse removed the restraints holding his brother in place, not wanting his stubborn brother to bolt out.

"Eat," Sam ordered while the nurse placed the tray of hospital food in front of Dean before checking the equipment. Noticing Dean’s disinterest at the food, Sam leaned forward and whispered, “Eat something, or I’ll tell the nurse to drug you.”

“You wouldn’t.” Dean challenged, but his brother’s scowl meant he’s not kidding.

Reluctant, Dean grabbed a spoon and slowly ate his cold soup, chicken broth with vegetable. The bland soup tasted familiar, and he quickly remembered where he ate something boring like it. _Prison food_. Weird, small things like food made him miss Benny. Losing his appetite, he dropped the spoon and drank his water, Sam nodding his approval at the half-eaten soup.

“How are you?” Sam asked after clearing the food.

“Peachy… How about Jess, how is she?”

“She’s fine. Her parents are there to give me a breather.”

“No baby yet?”

“No, not yet.” Dragging one of the chairs, Sam sat beside his brother’s bed. “She’s still in labor, seven centimeters.”

“Seven centimeters?”

“Her cervix is dilated seven centimeters, that’s like four fingers -” Sam explained with hand gestures, his face straight without noticing – or pretending he didn’t notice - his brother’s discomfort.

“Whoa,” Dean halted not wanting to know what was Sam was about to do with the fingers he was holding up, shaking his head vigorously. “Please, enough with the juicy details, man.”

Sam scoffed and complied leaving the details while explaining Jessica’s condition. The way Sam distracted him with his stories, he knew something was up. He noticed that his not-so-little brother hadn’t mentioned something about the earlier incident. Sam really was _distracting_ him. Now that he thought about it, every time he hinted something about Benny, Sam easily maneuvered their conversation away from Dean’s original questions.

He knew by heart that all Sam wanted was the best for him. And at that moment, he figured that his brother wanted him to rest, not to forget but to regain his strength. But he already had his rest, not strong enough but it would do. He could do it, and Benny needed him.

“Sam…” Dean started, waiting for his brother to look at him. “You got to help me, man.”

“What do you mean?”

"Help me take these off." Pointing at the catheters and wires, Dean pleaded, “Come on, I need to go back.” His brother didn’t answer right away; Sam looked at his watched and quickly retied the restraints around his wrists. He tried to struggle but Sam easily pinned him down in place, proving how weak he still was. “Don’t do this, Sammy.”

Sam stopped and eased his weight off of his brother. “We need you to finish your IVs. You lost too much blood, Dean.”

“I’m _fine_.” He mentally punched himself as the words rolled off his tongue. Sam’s tired and didn’t want more bullshit, and his ‘I’m fine’ dialogue this time would push his brother over the edge. Proving what he feared, Sam narrowed his eye at him and continued fumbling with his restraints. “No, no, no… oh.” He begged only to stop when Sam was actually removing it from his wrist. “You’re going to help me?”

"Of course, you jerk," Sam answered and made his way towards the other end of the bed to remove the ones on Dean's ankles. "But you need to finish your fluids."

“How long?”

“Thirty minutes, I think.” Fishing something from his pocket, Sam handed Dean his and Benny’s phones with matching cases. “I trust you, Dean. Don’t do something stupid.”

“Sure.” Dean nodded and started inspecting which phone was his, not looking at Sam.

“I mean it, Dean. I still got your baby’s keys.” Walking at the door, Sam looked back and said. “I’ll be back in thirty.”

As Sam exited the room, leaving him alone, he successfully turned one of the phones on and a picture of a sleeping Benny greeted him, mouth slightly open. He remembered taking it when he figured that was the first time Benny slept peacefully after sleeping on the streets of Thibodaux. His Benny has had enough, and all Dean wanted was the best for his boyfriend – just like what Samsquatch wanted for him.

Intrigued and having nothing to do but wait, he opened the phone’s gallery to look at pictures Benny took during their trip. Half of it was pictures of trees and water, and the other half were pictures of him while setting up their tent. The thought of Benny finding him more attractive than the scenery brought a genuine smile on his face. _Benny’s fine_. He said to himself determinedly as he looked at his pictures and thought of: that’s how Benny saw him.

He didn’t know how long he was looking at their pictures until Sam entered the room.

“You ready?” Sam asked as he carded his hair back with an obvious smile on his face, eyes twinkling with excitement.

“Yeah.”

With that, Sam carefully removed each needle and wires connected to machines and help his brother stand up, knees a little wobbly.

“You sure you can do it yourself?” Sam asked after Dean stubbornly pushed him away for hovering too close. Dean nodded and slowly made his way towards the bathroom. “How’s your leg wound?”

Steadying himself using the wall, Dean craned his head to look at Sam. “What leg wound?”

“I was informed you got shot twice.” Sam shrugged, “You walk funny, so maybe your leg hasn’t recovered yet. Hell, you’ve only been resting for eight-”

“I got shot twice on my shoulder, Sam.” Dean cut off. The thought of time reminded him of how long Benny had been missing. And now that Sam mentioned it, he could now feel the ache in his ass and what he and Benny did last night.

“Then why are you…” Sam trailed off and shifted his weight from one foot to another, face slowly turning beet red.

Dean continued walking towards the bathroom, ignoring the small smile plastered on his brother’s face. He now remembered jumping off the platform, feeling how brittle his hair was. Some nurse probably cleaned the grit off of him, but he still needed to thoroughly scrub his skin to remove the dried mixture of seawater and sweat.

After removing his hospital gown, he stood under the spray of hot water and started scrubbing, not caring if he ruined his bandages. With his one functioning hand, he awkwardly scrubbed his backside until he reached the crack of his ass. Benny’s tongue came into his mind as he slipped a finger inside his sore hole. He remembered feeling so full and awfully stretched when Benny penetrated him.

A choked sob escaped his mouth involuntarily as he braced himself on the tiled wall. He felt weak, and he hated that. He needed to be strong for Benny, but if Benny was with him, Benny would let him cry without judgment. _It ain’t wrong to cry, chief_. Benny once said. _Crying made people stronger, and it ain’t means weakness, as people always say_.

So, Dean let go. He cried even Sam was outside, hoping the shower spray was loud enough to muffle his sobs. He and Benny have had enough, especially Benny. After a minute or two, Dean rolled his head back and let the now cold water hit his face, feeling a little better. _Thanks, Benny._ He said with a small smile, phantom hands circling around his waist and a broad chest blanketing his back, Benny’s positivity was rubbing off on him. _You better be alive because I can’t lose you now._

“Dean…”

He heard Sam called him outside.

“Yeah?”

“It’s… it’s time. Jess needs me. I’ll leave your clothes and keys here, okay?” Sam said, and before Dean opened his mouth, he was out of the room.

 _Looks like Sam’s going to be a dad today_. Dean thought and finished showering. The hot water seemed to relax his aching muscles as he wore his clothes without a fuss. He was about to reach the front door of the hospital when he heard Bobby’s voice from behind, stopping him from reaching the glass door. Slowly, he turned his head and saw Bobby talking to someone with his phone.

Not wanting to be seen and get his head chewed off, Dean made his way out and was greeted by a salty breeze, a little warm but it’s still freezing. _Need more layers_. The sun shone brightly above him as he walked briskly where the parking lot was, numerous clouds scattered at the sky blocking most of the sun. He felt irritated of how fine day was, too _perfect_ for his taste. Days like this were supposed to be gloomy – cold, dark clouds, and rain threatening to fall – just like the ones in every movie, and not sunshine and daisies. Maybe it's a sign that everything would be a-okay or the calm before the storm.

He had never thought many things have had happened in less than twenty-four hours. He and Benny were just fishing yesterday, unaware of being ganked by Martin after their first physical _union_ , almost losing Sam and Jess, and then Benny went missing. Right, Benny’s just missing. Dean didn’t let the voice in his head to mess with his mind. _Benny’s still alive._

As he fished out his keys from his pants, the sound of blaring ambulance caught his ear, head snapping too fast his neck might break. He didn’t know when he started running but he already found himself standing behind the vehicle, praying Benny was the one in it. He was wrong. A kid with a stern face was quickly wheeled inside, trying her best not cry. Based on how her arm awkwardly bent to be normal, Dean guessed a broken bone.

“Hello, Dean.”

A deep familiar voice sent shivers down his spine. He knew that voice. Reluctant, he looked at the man behind him and there stood Castiel wearing his infamous trench coat, blue eyes staring intently at him like always.

“Cas,” He greeted. “What are you doing here?”

“Sam called, and I flew as fast as I could when I heard what happened.”

“ _Flew?_ ”

“Yes. I took a plane, Dean.”

Dean’s eyelid twitch at that, he didn’t know if Castiel was being sarcastic or teasing with his tone, and he hated that. He had known the guy for almost a decade, but he didn’t know who actually _Cas_ was after his secrecy.

“Okay,” Dean said, ready to run away and find protection inside his baby. “What’s up?”

“Sam asked me if you’re still here, and told me to inform you that you’re now an uncle.

“The baby’s already…” Dean trailed off to find words to describe childbirth, tears starting to pool in his eyes. “When?” He croaked, not realizing how the birth of another Winchester boy would make him emotional.

“Five minutes ago.” Castiel shrugged. “He’s a healthy 9-pound boy.”

Dean's phone rang and a message from his brother popped on the screen, informing him that he's now an uncle with an attached photo of him, a tired looking Jessica and the baby. Dean let Cas look at the picture, not noticing how his friend’s body stiffened when Benny’s picture flashed the screen after hitting the home button.

Ready to leave, Castiel blocked his way, put a heavy hand on his injured shoulder, and asked. “You don’t want to see your nephew?”

“I want to, Cas. It’s just… I have _plans_.” Dean tried to shrug off the hand applying pressure to his wound, but Castiel held him tighter.

“Are your plans really that important?”

 _Of course, it's important! It’s Benny, for fuck’s sake_. Dean screamed in his head and gave Cas a tight smile without answering his question before making his way towards the Impala. He heard someone yelling his name but he ignored it, it’s probably just Castiel wanting to have a small talk with him.

_Dean._

He heard it again but he continued walking. Four steps away from his baby, he felt a hand on his good shoulder - spinning him around too fast to react - and was pulled in a bone-crushing hug.

“Dean, I’m a dad.” Sam exclaimed, “You’re now an uncle.” Release his brother, Sam playfully slapped Dean's bad shoulder and quickly apologized, raising both hands in front of him defensively, muttering sorry but still smiling like an idiot. “I know you’re in a hurry to get back at the pier, but do you have time to check on your nephew? And Jess would love to see that you’re okay.”

The way Sam beamed at him like he always did since they were kids, batting his eyelashes and swaying his body a little; he knew he couldn’t deny his brother. _Can you wait a little longer, Benny?_

“A few minutes wouldn’t hurt.” Dean tried to sound casual but Sam knew him too well and smiled warmly at him, feeling grateful for sacrificing his precious time to find Benny.

 

* * *

  

Crowding Jessica’s private room, Jess greeted everyone with a tired smile and a small wave, still beautiful even in her haggard state. Jess stretched her arms and invited Dean for a hug, whispering how thankful she was for Benny’s effort earlier and assuring him that everything would be alright.

“Don’t worry too much, Dean. Have faith with Benny, and a little prayer might help.”

“Thank you,” Dean whispered before pulling away from his soon to be sister-in-law, thankful for Jessica’s concern. He might not be a churchgoer but he still had faith, and his beliefs didn’t hurt anyone. “So, what’s the little tyke’s name?”

“ _Jean_.” Sam and Jessica said in unison.

“John? The same with dad’s?” He watched Sam picked the baby from the hospital bassinet placed on the other side of Jessica’s bed with utmost care, where and how Sam learned to pick up a baby was none of his business.

“No, silly.” Jessica teased and signaled Dean to help her sit up, readying herself to hold baby _Jean_ in her arms again. “Jean... the J is soft.”

“It's spelled as J-E-A-N, Dean," Castiel said beside Sam, who’s bouncing his baby boy. “He’s so precious.”

“So… like _Gene_?” Dean asked and shook his head no when Sam coaxed him to try holding his nephew. He’d love to but he didn’t want to hold it now, fearing he might drop it with his injured shoulder.

“Not Gene. It’s Jean. Like Jean-Claude Van Damme or Jean-George” Carefully passing baby Jean to his fiancée, Sam corrected. “You know what; Jess and I had seen this coming. So, we talked and decided that you can call him Junior if you want.”

It’s weird. _Jean – Junior –_ looked exactly like his father when Samsquatch was still a baby. Whenever John was too worn out, he let Dean hold his little brother for a few minutes, and that was the happiest times Dean ever had after losing their mom. _Weird_. Now, they got this little angel in exchange for Benny… like… like when they lost…

_No. We’re not going there._

Brushing-off that grimly idea, Dean crouched and cooed, “Hey there, Junior,” The baby smiled and moved both of his hands, amused with his nickname, and everyone in the room awed. “Wait, you named your baby _Jean_ Samuel?” Dean asked incredulously at Sam. “If I’m not mistaken he’s the third Samuel in our family tree, Sam. Don’t you mean ‘the third’? Because he’s -”

“No, Dean.” Jessica cut off and smiled at him. “He’s just Jean.” Dean creased his brows at that and Jessica kissed her baby’s head before explaining, “Jean because Sam wanted to name our baby John Dean.”

“Actually, it’s James Dean.” Sam shyly whispered and sat beside Jessica.

"I'm pretty sure you said 'John Dean' because you wanted to combine your father and your brother's name. That's why we agreed to call him Junior."

Dean was flattered. Sam wanted to name his firstborn son after him and their dad, like how their mom named both of them. “And why Jean?” He couldn’t help but ask.

"I combined John and Dean," Jessica said, face beaming with pride. “It sounded like John, but it spelled like Dean. You want to hold him?”

“Nah, I’m good.”

"Come on, you need to practice if you and Benny ever decided to adopt. You guys aren’t getting any younger.”

“We, uh… we haven’t talked about…” Dean trailed off. He wasn’t sure if Benny would want to get married. Hell, Benny’s probably dead by now, and then here’s Dean selfishly thinking of church bells and white picket fence. _Fucker_. Dean cursed. It happened. What he had been avoiding happened. He tried to be positive, but the idea of Benny being already dead slipped through the wall of positivity he built. He needed to get out of there. _Benny’s still alive._

Sam, saving Dean from the sore subject, blurted out, “His shoulder… his shoulder hasn’t fully recovered yet, Jess.”

“Can I hold him?” Castiel asked, “I promise I won’t drop him.”

“Sure. How’s your baby Alfie by the way?”

Too anxious to get out, the air around the room felt heavy in his chest, Dean couldn’t breathe. He didn't hear what Jessica just said, everything was blurry shapes, squiggly lines and white noise to him now. His heart told him to run out and find Benny, but his mind was trying to be as reasonable as possible. Benny was a strong man. Not as stubborn as Dean, but he survived twenty years of being imprisoned to prove that nothing could break him. Whatever his decision was, bolt or stay a little longer, his body wouldn’t listen to him.

“Dean,” Sam tried when his brother became awfully quiet, “you want me to go with you?”

“What?” Blinking a few time to regain his focus, Dean said slowly as he tried to process the words.

“Do you need help? I’ll go with you, Jess will understand.”

“No, no. You stay here. I don’t want you to leave your boy.” Dean said with an undertone of: _I don’t want you to be like dad_. Sam nodded and bit his lip. The way Sam looked at him through his eyelashes while his head was down, Dean had a feeling – no, he knew - that his brother wanted to say something. Sighing heavily, he looked at Sam in the eyes and said, “Okay, Sam. Spill.”

Silently, Sam moved closer, dragged Dean away from the bed, and whispered, “You and Cas… umm… what really happened between you two?”

 _What the fuck?_ Sam’s sudden changed of subject sobered him from the thought of Benny, at least the voices in his head stopped. “Didn’t we already talk about this, Sam?” _Don’t ask things you don’t want to know_. “What brought this all up?”

“I just heard from Jess that Cas has a child, Dean." Dean's body stiffened and avoided eye contact, so Sam took it as his cue to continue, "I know Cas is very private with his life, so why didn’t you tell me? Is that why you broke up with him? Did he cheat -”

“Stop it, Sam.” Pinching the bridge of his nose, Dean closed his eyes shut. He didn’t know what to feel anymore. Benny still missing… baby Jean... Sam asking about Cas’ dishonesty. Fuck, his old self, buried deep inside of him, was yearning for a good bottle of scotch right now. “I don’t have time for this. Can we talk about it some other time? But if you’re too impatient, go talk to him, and maybe he’ll tell you the truth.”

Sam being nosy was a headache. Sam being _too_ observant was the worst. It’s good for his job, but Dean hated it when his brother used him as like a lab rat to use his _talking_ skills, like Charlie. He couldn’t lie to his brother, literally, even if he wanted to.

“I’m sorry, Dean. I know I’m stepping over the line… but if you need -”

The sudden swing of the door caught everyone’s attention. Bobby, without his wheelchair, quickly scanned the room and locked eyes with Dean, breathing heavily.

“ _Dean_ ,” Bobby panted, “they’ve found him.” 


	18. Yours: Back To Square One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _"I was a boat stuck in a bottle  
>  That never got the chance to touch the sea  
> Just forgot on the shelf  
> No wind in the sails  
> Going nowhere with no one but me  
> I was one in a hundred billion  
> A burned out star in a galaxy  
> Just lost in the sky wondering why  
> Everyone else shines out but me_
> 
> _But...  
>  I came to life when I first kissed you  
> The best me has his arms around you  
> You make me better than I was before  
> Thank God I'm yours"_
> 
> Russell Dickerson - [Yours](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gFccdvKehQI)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, this is the last chapter of the first part of my first fanfic.  
> I know this is not perfect or anything, but I enjoyed writing this.  
> And I'm glad to share this with you. :)
> 
> \---
> 
> Mistakes are all mine

It felt like hours, but in reality, Dean only had been waiting for eight minutes in front of the hospital for the ambulance to arrive. With each calming breaths, condensation fogged in front of him thanks to the cold Californian afternoon breeze. Damn it, he would kill for a cup of coffee right now. Even the black, vile liquid, sorry excuse of a coffee Benny always loved.

Behind him, hospital staffs were exchanging hushed conversation about a certain accident, but with his undivided attention, he couldn’t seem to get the gist of it. All he knew was Benny would be here in any seconds – or minutes, Dean didn’t care because Bobby’s tone earlier hinted that Benny’s okay. His boyfriend was fine, and he fucking knew it… no, he called it.

Eyes still glued at the road, he tried to warm himself up by tucking his hands under his armpits and pacing around, until he heard the unfamiliar sound of a wheelchair rolling along the asphalt - _Bobby_. Reluctant, he tore his gaze away from the road to face Bobby only to be greeted by a soft warm fabric hitting his face thrown at him.

“Wear that,” Bobby ordered with a huff. “I don’t want your ass to freeze out here.”

Minus the smoky smell, the moment his fingers touched the fabric, he knew exactly what it was and who it belonged to. Benny’s pea coat. Sliding his long arm in each sleeve, its familiarity sent warmth throughout his body as though Benny himself was hugging him.

"Thanks," Dean said gratefully, clasping Bobby’s shoulder before pushing his hands inside the coat’s pockets. Inside of it, Benny’s hat was tucked safely; the one Bobby also wore earlier. Fishing it out, he gave it a whiff and found a faint scent of Benny’s cheap shampoo.

“How are you holding up, Dean?” Bobby asked beside him, looking naked without his hat, Dean noticed.

Returning the hat inside the safety of Benny’s coat pocket, Dean rolled his shoulders and answered with a sigh. “You know I can’t answer that right now, Bobby.” Honestly, he was just tired. The heaviness in his chest earlier was lifted when Bobby told him about Benny being found. But that wasn’t entirely reassuring; they were still in the woods. Yes, he’s fine, but Benny’s still wasn’t. All that could comfort him now was Benny grinning at him with his perfect teeth showing.

“Yeah, you’re right.”

“But?” Dean added. He knew there would be a ‘but’ following that statement judging Bobby’s tone. He’s not judging though. All Bobby ever wanted was for him to be prepared for the worst, a belief that was used to cushion the blow.

“Whatever happens, Dean, I want you to be strong, okay.”

Dean didn’t answer. He knew that his little family would be there for him when everything turned upside down. Steadily, he gave Bobby a firm hand on his shoulder to assure him that he’s not that panicky boy anymore, that he too could be calm as a river, for Benny.

When the ambulance arrived, Dean just found himself pushing hospital staffs – not shouting, mind you – to get a glimpse of Benny, a stupid, selfish and disruptive act he knew contradicted his description of being calm.

"Let me fucking see him," Dean said with a huff of frustration. Arms flailing pointlessly on his side, he couldn't escape the firm grip of the two nurses pinning him down in one of the plastic hospital chairs. On the corner of his eyes, he could see someone – _Benny_ – wrapped in an insulator being wheeled away from him.

“Sir, please, you don’t need to -”

“ _Please_.” Dean caught himself saying, voice a little cracking. “I - I won’t bother you later, I promise. Just for a second, please, let me see him.” The two nurses holding him down looked at each other for a second before releasing him.

With a grateful nod, he bolted his way towards Benny who was a few seconds away from disappearing into the emergency room. Squeezing himself between the two bodies pushing the stretcher to get a better look, he was greeted by Benny’s tired and heartbreakingly blue eyes looking at him with utmost adoration that either said _I’m here now_ or _Stop being a sap, chief_. With an affirmative nod, Benny informed him that he’s fine so Dean could finally relax. Benny, just being himself, was always trying to comfort him, trying to take care of him. He didn’t know how he could read Benny like the back of his hand but he’s glad they didn’t need words to understand each other.

Their silent interaction was cut short, and the last thing he saw before Benny disappeared in the ER was Benny's cheeky smirk.

 _Asshole_. Dean thought fondly, a smile slowly creeping across his face. As always, Benny knew how to lighten the direst situation, or cheer Dean up even though he was actually the one who was hurting and needed it the most. Who Dean thought almost died. _You’re too good for me, Benny_.

“Wipe that smile off your face and sit down, you idjit," Bobby said behind him. "And I want you to meet my friend’s colleague, Caleb.”

“Dean Winchester, right?” Caleb greeted, offering his hand for Dean to shake. “It’s a pleasure to finally meet you.”

With that, Caleb showed Dean his written report log about Benny’s case and how they cover up the incident to avoid mass panic. The first few pages had shown scientific tide patterns and schedule that could predict Benny’s location if ever the waves drifted his _body_ away from the explosion. After a few hours of fruitless search, Caleb’s team had decided to search underwater, which they reluctantly opted out because Bobby initially confirmed that Benny was wearing a life preserver before the explosion happened.

Dean wanted to get angry at that. He thought that rescuers should always be prepared for the worst, but he couldn’t complain because, just like him, these people trusted Bobby’s judgment. A little exhausted, he skimmed the rest of the pages and focused on last hour where Caleb’s team finally found Benny.

> _01/12/18, 1327 Hours, Officer Caleb_
> 
> _Missing person, Benjamin Lafitte, found inside the boat, underwater._   
>  _Trapped inside a dresser._
> 
> _01/12/18, 1341 Hours, Officer Caleb_
> 
> _Successfully pried Lafitte out._   
>  _Hypothermic._   
>  _Conscious, but unresponsive._
> 
> _01/12/18, 1345 Hours, Officer Caleb_
> 
> _Lafitte rode our rescue boat: CA-98##-JS._   
>  _Checked vitals and applied basic hypothermia remedy._
> 
> _01/12/18, 1351 Hours, Officer Caleb_
> 
> _Reached the shore._   
>  _Let the paramedics take over Lafitte._   
>  _Lafitte rode the ambulance: JBR-12##_

Mesmerized by a specific time log in the report, Dean asked how it was possible for Benny to survive underwater for such a long time. Benny needed air to breath for crying out loud. Not that he’s complaining or anything but there must be a higher power doing it’s magic for Benny to survive such condition, and he’s nothing but thankful at that.

“There’s a little air trapped inside the dresser.” Retrieving the report from Dean’s hand, Caleb answered. “I know his oxygen supply was limited but due to hypothermia his breathing and heartbeat slowed down that halved his oxygen consumption.”

“The report stated that he’s conscious,” Bobby noted, “How is that possible? Hypothermia should be lulling him to sleep that could probably -”

With a grim expression, Caleb quickly raised a hand to stop Bobby from talking. Dean knew what that look meant, and he sure it was bad news. There’s something about hypothermia both men understood that he clearly don’t. Honestly, he was a little curious, but he let the untold information go because Benny’s safe, there’s no need to feel bad for something that didn’t happen.

“Guts, Singer.” Caleb simply said. “His sheer determination to live helped him survive. That guy knew that if he closed his eyes - even just a blink - the chance of him opening them again is slim to none.” Turning his body to face Dean, Caleb said, “He’s fine now, but there’s a chance that there will be a problem. So… keep praying, boy, and it’s really nice to finally meet you.” With that, Caleb saluted both Dean and Bobby before excusing himself.

 _That’s weird_. Dean thought as he and Bobby watched Caleb's back disappear into the hallway. He couldn’t put his finger on it but there’s warmth on Caleb’s tone that weirdly indicated he had known Dean for quite some time. Not that his famous or anything but he had kept his life privately. And for fuck's sake, they're miles away from home where everyone knew his name. _Friend’s colleagu_ e… _huh_. Caleb wasn’t the one Bobby was calling earlier, and Caleb wasn’t one of Bobby’s hunting buddies, Dean figured. Whoever Bobby’s friend was, he bet they’re close enough to talk about him.

 

* * *

 

“How is he?” Dean asked after waiting for half hour outside when one of the doctors exited the emergency room, Bobby left him alone a while ago when Charlie called. “There’s nothing wrong right?”

“It’s too soon to tell,” The doctor said in a calm manner that Dean always hated. “But he’s resting, which is a good sign.”

“Please stop the formality bullsh-” Dean bit the inside of his cheeks to stop himself from cursing; the hospital was no place for him to lose his cool, and him shouting would never magically heal Benny. “Just… please, be straightforward. I could take it.”

Without any reaction, the doctor blinked a couple of times and inspected Dean’s features before agreeing with a small nod. “Well, okay, mister -”

“Winchester,” Dean supplied, “Dean is fine.”

“Okay, _Dean_... To keep it short and simple, he’ll be fine. The wound on his shoulder was reopened, so, as his doctor, I'm advising to avoid stressing it out by lifting heavy things. We’ve also hooked him up with some IVs to warm him up from the inside and to keep him hydrated. And thankfully, the prolonged submersion didn’t cause internal damage to him and even though Mr. Lafitte has a good pair of lungs we’ve decided to give him oxygen for extra warming.”

“That’s it? No amnesia… comatose or something?” Dean asked. He curiously Googled stuff earlier under Bobby’s nose about drowning – even though Benny didn’t drown – and the results scared him, so excuse him for being a great boyfriend and overreacting.

The doctor, for the first time, smiled at him and put a reassuring hand on his shoulder as she said, “No, Dean. He’ll be fine. He just needs some rest and he’ll be fine. And I know you too need it. How you escaped your room is beyond me.”

“Can I see him?”

 

* * *

 

_"You want us to push the bed closer?”_

Dean heard his brother asked something about the beds in Benny’s private room, but his mind was lost the moment he saw Benny sleeping peacefully in his bed, dark circles forming under his eyes. _You looked so small_. He breathed out as he sat down beside Benny, loving the snores Benny was making. Reaching out, he carded Benny’s short hair and witnessed Benny’s lax mouth turned into a small smile as Benny subconsciously leaned into his touch. Moments like this were supposed to happen at _home_ every morning and not inside a freaking hospital.

He didn’t know how tired he still was. Now that Benny’s safe, _again_ , the tension that kept him moving suddenly left his body. Without any memory of nodding off, a hand on his shoulder jerked him awake from his light sleep. “What?” He slurred, fingers interlaced with Benny’s.

“Why don’t you sleep in your own bed, Dean? You look uncomfortable.” Eyes bright with amusement, Sam offered.

If he’s not in the mood, he would have said no stubbornly without a beat and clutch on Benny’s arm for his dear life like a needy little bitch if Sam ever tried to take him away, but he was happy - content. So he let Sam made the call this time without a fuss. And his tired body was yearning for a bed at the moment anyway.

“Sure.”

Eyes wide, not expecting his brother to comply that easily, Sam pulled Dean to his feet and walked him on the other bed. With a help of a nurse, Sam removed Benny’s coat from his brother and neatly folded it beside the bed. “Bobby and one of the doctors were insisting to hook you up again with IVs," Sam informed as he worked on Dean’s boots, waiting for his big brother to react. When it didn’t happen, he continued. “You can say no if you want.”

“No, no… Let them.” Dean sighed when his back hit the mattress, it’s not like his memory foam at the office barracks or the soft mattress in Bobby’s cabin but his body couldn’t point out the difference. “Just make it quick. Benny needs to rest.” After finding the most comfortable position, he watched the nurse move around under his heavy eyelids.

He kept his eyes open while the nurse nimbly inserted the needle in his arm. On his peripheral vision, he saw Castiel hovering outside the door, face heavy with hesitation. He was about to open his mouth to invite Castiel in when Sam, who was sitting beside him, stood up and walked towards their friend. He saw his brother smiled at Castiel and put a hand on his shoulder as he steered Castiel away from the room.

After years of looking after Sam, he knew there’s something wrong with his brother’s smile, like when they were younger and Sam was trying to play it cool with their Dad after a big fight, and there’s also something about Sam's behavior that he couldn't put his hand on but he couldn’t seem to care, the effect of IVs infused with amoxicillin or other drugs was fast, sleep already calling his name. Eyes closed, he tried eavesdropping on their conversation but all he could hear was the low hum of machines attached to Benny and their fading footsteps echoing in the hallway. Turning his head, he realized with his half-lidded eyes that his bed got the perfect angle to see Benny on his bed and that was the last thing he remembered before darkness finally took him.

After a few hours of drug-induced, dreamless sleep, he was awakened by the gentle fingers carding his hair. Slowly, he opened his eyes and saw Jessica smiling down at him, still wearing her hospital gown. “With a view like this every morning, no wonder my little brother is head over heels for you,” Dean said with his charming smile. “What’s up?”

“Hey, don’t sit up.” Jessica sighed and adjusted the bed so Dean could seat properly without stressing his back and neck. “You hungry? Sam said you barely touched your food earlier.” Looking at Dean’s empty IV bags, some blood peeking at the needle on his arm, she ordered Dean to bring her his arm so she could remove it from his arms.

 _I’m starving_. “Nah,” Dean said instead. Eating while Benny’s asleep felt like cheating. If he eats, Benny should too. “I’m not really a fan of hospital food.”

“Come on, you don’t need to taste it, Dean, just shoved it down your throat," Jessica said after removing the catheters with ease and neatly covering the vein with cotton and tape.

“Was this Sam’s idea?” Dean asked, quite bothered that Jessica who had just delivered a baby was in his and Benny’s room. “And you’re supposed to be resting, Jess.”

“No,” Jessica said defensively while putting away the med kit. “It’s all mine. Your sweet brother is just worried about you. And I’m fine, really. Both you and Sam worried too much, you know.”

“Then where is he, my sweet little brother?” Dean said with a little tease on his tone. “He’s with you, right? Or… oh God, please don’t tell me you snuck out.” Dean grimaced at the thought.

“No, you silly. He’s just outside, holding your pie.”

Pie. Now that caught Dean’s attention. “What pie?” Knowing his brother, he’s pretty sure it’s pecan, but because he’s in the hospital, he doubted it would be something healthier like vegan pie without any eggs or milk. How people make its crust was beyond him. But still, he would not eat if Benny couldn’t. “You know what, save it for later. How’s Benny anyways?”

Jessica seemed ready to protest, but instead, she shrugged and answered, “He’s still sleeping. You sure don’t want to eat anything? Even just your pie?”

Tempting, but he already made up his mind. “I’ll think about it. Now, call Sam and ask him to escort you back to your room.”

Slowly, Sam entered the room with a paper bag on his arm, the smell the bag was releasing was promising and forcing Dean to swallow the saliva already pooling in his mouth. Determined not to get tempted by the pies, Dean couldn’t believe what he was witnessing when he saw Sam and Jessica communicating with their eyebrows. There were no words escaping in their mouths but it was clear that Jessica was winning the argument. After a few seconds of their _talk_ , both Sam and Jessica stood beside a bewildered Dean and said their goodnights, like a good pair of parents they would be with their baby Jean.

Creepy, but there’s a chance he and Benny was also like that.

When Dean couldn’t hear the pair of footsteps in the hall anymore, he stood up from his bed and beelined towards Benny’s bed while picking up the bag Sam left on the chair. Peeking inside, Sam bought him several pies, and judging by their wrapper, Sam bought it in some diner and not one of those vegan stores.

“You want some pie, Benny?” Dean asked the sleeping bear, and of course, Benny didn’t answer. “I’m glad you’re sleeping. I don’t want you to see me being all sappy.” He smiled and tossed the bag in his bed. Carefully, he climbed up into Benny’s bed and pulled Benny protectively in his arms without disturbing the cannula attached to his nose.

It’s reassuring, to have Benny that close to him.

He and Benny might be a little too old for cuddling but both of them hadn’t got the chance, and there’s got to be a rule stating that cuddling had no age restrictions. And was it even cuddling if only one was awake? Well, Dean didn’t give a flying rat ass. It’s good. Actually, better than good, it’s great.

Burying his nose on Benny’s short hair, he closed his eyes, took a whiff of Benny’s scent, and dreamt of home. _Home_. There’s something about Benny’s scent that was very welcome-y and screamed home that his body was yearning since his Mom died. Yes, he got an apartment, but that never felt like home. The closest thing he had got after moving out from his Dad’s old house was their office, but now, it’s Benny. Hell, even motel rooms that he always hated felt like home when Benny was there with him.

 _I’ve always wanted this_. Dean honestly thought. He now understood what his brother felt towards Jessica, someone you’d want to spend your life with. And he _wanted_ it. He knew he liked – loved, even – being with Benny, but knowing it would last forever, too cheesy even for himself, was something he’d look forward to.

"Goodnight, Benny," Dean whispered a sleepily and smiled when Benny stirred and shuffled closer into his arms.

At some point in his shallow sleep, he felt a hand caressing him, touching him as though he’s the most precious thing the world could ever offer. The warm palm soothing his arm and chest, light fingers carding his hair, and a familiar thumb running across his cheek all felt good. But it was cut short though. The gentle hands worshiping his body were replaced by strong ones - firm but never rough - hauling him off the bed away from Benny. Then the sharp beeping of machines bouncing in their room followed, piercing his ears and jolting him awake with a groan.

_What?_

He found himself being ushered away and directed towards the plastic chairs out in the hall to sit on while some hospital staffs started crowding his and Benny’s room. As he sat dumbfounded outside the hall, mind still trying to process everything, Dean wondered what the hell did just happen. He was better than this. His father trained him to be alert all the time, but now, his mind couldn’t comprehend what was happening, panic clearly winning against his better judgment.

“What’s wrong with you, boy?” Bobby asked as he wheeled himself towards Dean, “Did you sleep at all? You look like…” Bobby trailed off when he quickly figured out what was wrong with his adopted son. “Oh, you fucking idjit.” Shaking his head fondly, Bobby made a gesture with his hand coaxing Dean to follow him and said. “One of the nurses said Lafitte’s pulse oximeter was tugged off from his finger when the two of you were _snuggling_ that’s why his alarm started beeping. Go check him yourself and stop being _Dean_ about it.”

 _Stop being Dean about it_.

Dean scoffed at that. He couldn’t remember the last time someone used that phrase to him or when it all started. Even though that he had a small smile on his face, he actually didn’t hear what Bobby said before it, head a little busy _being Dean_ , but based on Bobby's calm demeanor he figured there's nothing to worry about.

Slowly, he opened the door and saw Benny with a bottle of water in his hand being assessed by a doctor while the other staffs were poking at the machines. Benny noticed him standing in the doorway and gave him a small wave, crows feet visible on the corner of his eyes as he smiled brightly at him, before returning his attention back to the doctor.

“See,” Bobby said beside him. “Ain’t your head a work of art sometimes? Now sit, I don’t want you eye fucking Lafitte here.”

As both men waited outside the hall, Dean noticed the dark circles under Bobby’s eyes. He had been sleeping most of his time in the hospital, but Bobby… did Bobby ever sleep at all since he got here? Concerned, Dean asked, “It’s five-thirty, Bobby, what time did you wake up?” It’s not the question he wanted to ask, but he’d get the answer he needed: if Bobby ever slept.

“Not very subtle, boy.” Bobby batted him with a questioning look before sighing deeply, “There’s this _thing_ me and the guys have been working on, and I couldn’t sleep thinking about it.”

“What is it? Maybe I could help.”

“No,” Bobby said sternly and pointed at the room. “You already had your problem. And you’re still on vacation.”

Right, he and Benny were still on vacation. Even though he's itching for an action, he needed to focus on Benny. "So what's this thing about?" He asked, there’s nothing wrong with asking, right?

“It’s about _Ro_ -” Bobby cut himself off before shaking his head. “Damnit, Dean, what did I just say? You’re on vacation. Get your mind off of work.”

“Fine.” Hand raised mocking surrender; Dean slapped his thighs with a loud smack, stood up, and noticed his feet were bare. “You want coffee? I’ll just grab my boots and head out quickly.”

“Coffee?” A deep voice asked from his left. It’s Castiel, Sam yawning and stretching his long arms behind him. “Is it okay for _Lafitte_ to drink coffee?”

“Yes,” Sam yawned, back cracking in the most satisfying way when he twisted his body. “Jess said it’s fine. He needs something warm. Let me buy it for you, Dean. My treat.”

“You sure?” Grateful for his brother's help, Dean asked, feeling awesome that Sam’s spoiling him and Benny.

“Yeah, Jessica wanted waffles anyways. And I got Cas to help me carry.” Castiel made a displeased groan when Sam clapped his back, but Sam didn’t care and continued. “You want anything else than coffee?” Dean shook his head no; he and Benny would be feasting on the pies Sam brought last night. “How about you, Bobby, you want something?”

“Nah,” Bobby dismissed and added, “I’ll hit the sack in a jiff. I just need to call someone.”

As if on cue, Bobby’s phone rang.

The way Bobby’s face fell when he answered the phone privately; all three men figured it was not good news. And Sam took it as his cue and dragged Castiel away, who’s reluctant to go and wanted to stay, but Sam was having none of that and bribed him with a cheeseburger.

 

* * *

 

After finalizing their paperwork, all the hospital personnel made their exit and Dean was greeted by Benny's contagious smile when he entered the room. "What?" Dean asked, returning Benny's smile with an equal amount of enthusiasm, the bag of pies clutched safely in his hand.

“I saw you outside earlier looking all worried,” Benny said, holding out his hand and expecting Dean to take it. When Dean took it, Benny pulled him to sit on his bed, thumb caressing the back of Dean’s hand before kissing it. “I just reckon that I’m supposed to be the sappy one, chief.”

“But you are.” Dean insisted, loving the smooth drawl of his big bear. With one hand, Dean fished out two pies from the bag and offered one to Benny. “Hey, what’s wrong with you? You look like you slept with a hanger in your mouth.”

“Just happy that’s all.”

“Well, I can see that.” The smell of pie – apple and peach - made Dean hungrier, but Benny seemed disinterested of letting go his hand, too busy being a sap. “How about you tell me why while we eat, huh?” Getting impatient, Dean pried his hands off of Benny’s grip, and with trembling hands, he fumbled with the wrapper.

Ignoring the pie, Benny watched Dean get frustrated opening his food and laughed deeply when Dean’s stomach protested by grumbling loud. “Give me it.” Snatching the pie from Dean’s hands, with one steady motion, he opened the darn thing and before he knew it Dean had already took the pie from his hands. “Look at you.”

“Shut up.” _What kind of pie is this?_ Dean wondered. It only took him two bites to finish the thing. And he bet he could put three of those in his mouth without a problem. “Eat.” Pushing the neglected pie to Benny, Dean ordered and emptied the bag, pies with assorted flavors made a pile on the bed. “We’ll talk later or talk while you’re eating, I don’t care. I’m starving.”

“You don’t say.”

Copying Benny’s wrapper-opening-technique, Dean finished at least three pies when he noticed that Benny wasn’t touching any of his. What made him stop chewing was the pair of Benny’s glossy eyes staring affectionately at him, tears threatening to fall. And he’d never felt so loved. “Benny…” Dean sighed, warmth spreading throughout his body. Even though he wanted to ask what was wrong, he let Benny decide on his own if he wanted to share. And besides, he figured Benny would talk anyways. “Eat something.” _Oh, fuck it._ “You want to say something, Bear?”

“Nah,” Averting his eyes, Benny took a small bite of his pie and smiled when Dean gave him a questioning look. "You'll just call me sap."

 _Fucker_. Benny was playing hardball, and Dean knew the smirking bastard’s tongue was itching to spill. “I won’t. Promise.”

“Cross your-”

“Damnit, Benny.” Dean cut off out of impatience. “Are going to talk or not?”

Laughing at his work, his deep chuckles sending vibrations to the bed, Benny conceded. “Fine. It’s just… I had this awesome dream, cher.” Finishing his first pie, Benny continued. “Just like in prison, I was trapped in some place where time stood still, but only this time, I was sort of _free_ , traveling alone in this gloomy wooded area where there's no sun or moon or stars. And what was left reigning in that realm were monsters and suffering, where your happiness and hope slowly fades.”

Dean could listen to Benny talk all day. Hell, Benny could talk something very boring, like shoelaces, and Dean wouldn't give a damn. That smooth drawl was enough to get his attention. And have he ever admitted that Benny was a good looking man?

Captivated by Benny’s blue eyes, he noticed that Benny had already stopped talking and looking expectantly at him. Clearing his throat, he said. “That is _awesome_.” Even though he himself wasn't sure what was awesome to Benny’s dream other than the monsters, which made Benny’s dream a little interesting. The dream was creepy as fuck and Dean wouldn’t want to be in there. Alone and sad, who would want that? Dean was a loner himself but the thought of having no one around would make him go nuts. "Was it the same as the one you told me before?" He added. If memory served him right, while they were still in prison, Benny once told him something about an endless woods where he traveled alone in his dream.

Benny shook his head and looked at his hands, trying to hide the shy smile creeping on his face. He grabbed a pie and played on its wrapper, not really planning on opening it.

 _Of course_. Dean thought. He promised Benny that he'd bring him to the woods that night - which he did - if ever Benny got out of that prison. “What made it different? Wait, scratch that. Monsters… say something about the monsters in your dream.” Maybe, just maybe, Benny’s dream was a distorted version of his life in prison, where there were different kinds of _monsters_ live. He couldn’t blame Benny having those kinds of dreams, though. Benny had spent twenty fucking years inside those walls, that’s more than half of his life for fuck’s sake.

“You know what vampires are?”

“Yeah,” Dean nodded. His friend Charlie loved a certain vampire-themed series and tried tricking him to read it. “They drink blood and sparkle under the sun, right?”

“They _sparkle_?” Benny asked as though Dean said something offensive to his ancestors. “Don’t you mean disintegrate? What kind of vampire…” Benny dismissed, knowing he could ridicule Dean later. “Anyway, I was a vampire in my dream. I was strong, fast, and had fangs.”

“Well, minus the fangs, Bear, I believe you _are_ strong and fast. And you can bite me anytime.” Dean winked and finished his fifth pie. “You know, _suck_ me good.”

Even though hidden underneath Benny’s neatly trimmed beard, the crimson red blush creeping from his neck was highlighted by his pale complexion making it harder for him to hide how flustered he was with Dean’s shameless flirting. That was the reaction Dean wanted, knowing he still got the charm to make this handsome man all red was a huge ego boost.

Clearing his throat, Benny opened his pie and shoved it into Dean's mouth to keep it busy so he could focus telling his story. “I was a vampire, yeah? After being there for awhile, I discovered all residents of that godforsaken place were all monsters, like me. There were werewolves, shapeshifters, ghouls, and other freaky stuff. Then one day - or night, whatever - I saw you.” Benny’s’ voice became softer as he held Dean’s hand. “When I first laid my eyes on you… I just knew you don’t belong there, you know. Everyone there was monsters, but you, you're different... you’re human.”

“Yeah?” Dean was pretty sure now that Benny’s dream symbolized his life as a prisoner; the place was called purgatory for fuck’s sake. Before he came, Benny had no one inside, rotting all alone in his small room. But even with his condition, Benny was still the most positive person Dean has ever met, someone who counted every small blessing in his life. “Then what happened?”

“I ain’t exactly sure, to be honest, but you took me with you like I was a lost puppy or something. There’re plenty of reasons for you to not trust and kill me, like the _others_ who bothered you. I could be a liar but you didn't give a tiny rat ass. You knew what I was but you befriended me in spite of that. When I said I could hurt you, you just pinned me against a tree with a knife on my neck to prove that you're more dangerous than I was. So all in all, we had bonded after fighting every monster in our way. Blood brothers: forged by trust and strengthened by blood." Benny paused and took a deep breath as he reminisced his _dream_. “And I couldn’t be happier, chief.”

Squeezing both of Dean’s hands, Benny continued. “What I had before you was: just surviving, not living or anything… just… not being dead. I had nothing to offer you but myself and loyalty. And you gave me more than what I deserve… your trust. You showed me how to live and that everyone deserves a second chance. I waited too long… too damn long… to have someone like you, _cher_. And I wouldn’t mind doing it over again if I knew I’d get a chance to meet you again.” Dean wasn’t sure if Benny was still talking about his dream, but… Dean couldn’t finish his thoughts. The way Benny’s eyes looked at him sent shivers down his spine, and it’s heartbreaking. “Being your friend is a privilege. Making you smile is an accomplishment. And letting you down is…”

“Whoa,” Dean halted and cupped Benny’s face, thumbing the tears falling unpredictably from Benny’s eyes. _What the hell is happening, you big sap?_ “What’s up with the waterworks, Benny?”

“It’s just… I failed you back there, chief. I let you down.” Benny choked as he held Dean’s hand on his face, trying to chase the tears away by shutting his eyes. “I let myself get distracted by your _pretty_ eyes, and then seconds later, you’re in my arms drenched with your own blood. I was so scared, Dean. I thought I lost you.”

“Are you kidding me?” Dean couldn’t help but chuckle. That line was supposed to be his after everything they’d been through, but now, Benny was the one saying it to him because of a ridiculous dream. “Do you have any idea how many times I’d almost lost you?” Slowly, the amusement in his eyes turned into concern as Benny’s lower lip started to tremble. “Benny, what’s wrong?”

Without any sign of calming down, Benny shook his head, clutched Dean’s hand and tucked it on his chest.

Other than getting worried, Dean didn’t know what to do. Benny’s breathing became erratic and his body started to shake. The first thing that entered his mind was the after effects of hypothermia, and fuck it, the things he had read yesterday were all coming back to him. As he attempted to climb down the bed to find the emergency call button, Benny prevented him from moving by clutching his hand tighter and pulling him closer to him.

“Don’t go.” With frantic eyes searching for something on his face, Benny pleaded.

“I won’t,” Dean quickly reassured and wrapped Benny in his arms. “Tell me what to do, Ben.” _I don’t like seeing you like this._ True, between the two of them, Benny was supposed to be the saner one. And he didn’t anticipate the sudden outburst of emotion from Benny. They’re just eating minutes ago. How did they end up like this? “And what kind of dream did you have? You told me it’s fucking _awesome_.”

“It was.”

“Then tell me, why are you like this?”

“You, _dying_.” Benny simply said. “It felt so real, you know.” Being someone who’s never good with words, Dean honestly didn’t know what to say. His Benny had lost everyone important in his life, and what’s left of him was his cousin Elizabeth and Dean. Earlier, if Dean heard it right, Benny said he was watching him bleed in his arms. That’s probably jarring to someone who had watched his little brother die, also in his arms, when he’s younger.  Kissing Benny’s temple, Dean opted to hug Benny tighter to assure him that he’s there and not going anywhere. “I thought I lost you, Dean. And you know me, being _sappy_ as usual, confessed that you're it for me because with each passing day with you, I couldn’t help but keep falling deeper in love with you. I know I had nothing in the first place, but with you, I had the world in my hands… everything I’ve ever wanted. And just the thought of me being alone again… I can’t, Dean. I just can’t.”

Dean’s heart clenched at that, it’s the same feeling he’d felt when he left Benny back in the prison, how it hurt like a bitch and how it probably hurt more for Benny.

“You know that I’m here now, right?” This was the least Dean could do, for now, comforting Benny. And it’s only fair. Benny had given him support all this time, the one who kept him grounded. “That it’s _just a dream_.”

“Yeah, I know," Benny mumbled as he buried his face further into Dean’s arms, wetting the shirt with his tears.

The trembling seemed to stop after holding and rocking Benny for a few minutes, and judging by Benny’s breathing, Dean figured that Benny had completely calmed down. “You okay now?” Benny only responded with a weak nod, and slowly, Dean detached himself to give Benny a small peck on the lips before asking, “You want coffee? I’ll call Sam to haul his ass here ASAP.”

“Coffee’s good.” With a small smile, Benny answered, almost like a whisper.

Kissing Benny again, Dean quietly scanned every surface in the room where his phone probably was without leaving Benny’s bed. Hell, he didn’t want to leave Benny’s side ever again. The sound of footsteps outside could be heard in their room now that the machines attached to Benny were gone. It’s awfully quiet if you asked Dean, too quiet.

As he scanned the room again, his eyes found Benny, who looked exhausted – eyes blank and shoulder hunch, and thought of the dream that bummed him out.

_I was trapped in some place… you don’t belong there… you took me with you… I couldn’t be happier… I had nothing to offer you but myself and loyalty… I waited too long to have someone like you… I thought I lost you… I couldn’t help but keep falling deeper in love with you…_

“Benny…” Dean started and trailed off. He felt like an idiot. Benny had already confessed his love to Dean thrice but Dean hadn’t reciprocated it. Now that he thought about it, Benny didn’t look tired at all. Benny looked dejected because of something he said, and it fucked everything. Benny said the dream was _awesome_ and he ruined it.

If he guessed it right, the Dean in Benny’s dream had the guts to say the words Benny deserve and wanted to hear – the big _I love you_. That’s the only explanation. Only Dean fucked it up when he said: it’s just a dream. That none of it was real.

“Hmm?” Benny inquired while tossing their trash inside the bag.

“You know that I love you, too, right?” And just like that, the shine from in Benny’s eyes earlier returned as Benny look incredulously at Dean. _Damnit, did I say it wrong?_ Dean thought as he watched Benny’s shocked expression changed to concern.

“You don’t have to say it –”

Clashing their lips together, Dean stopped Benny from talking nonsense. He's not good with words anyway, so he'd let his tongue do the talking for him, pouring everything he’d left unsaid into it. As Benny’s beard scrape his cheeks, his tongue explored the warmth of Benny’s mouth, tasting the tangy peach residue of pie. Their kiss had no heat or hunger, what it had was more than that, there’s _need,_ and _want,_ and _emotion_ s. Emotions even words couldn’t explain. The room disappeared as his vision fade to black. It’s just them at that moment, just him and Benny. Even if the world decided to end itself, Dean wouldn’t give a flying fuck. Just having Benny that close was more than enough.

“Thank you,” Dean said, breathless after breaking their kiss. “For everything.” _Don’t say you had_ … He shook his head and stopped thinking. If he wanted Benny to understand, he needed to say everything – to talk. “Don’t say you have nothing to offer, Benny. You’d given me too much – more than you could offer – and you’re not taking any credit to the things I’d fallen for. So don’t you fucking say you have nothing, Ben, you understand? If you’re thinking something materialistic to offer, then you know nothing about me. I don’t need crap, Benny. It’s you that I want, just you.” Holding Benny’s face between his hands and looking directly into Benny's awestruck eyes, he kissed his love again, soft and sweet. “Who I am now… it’s all because of you. Because I love you.”

Not expecting that talking would wear him out, the very reason why Winchester men avoided voicing their heart out, Benny caught his hands when they fell from Benny’s face and held them tight. Both emotionally exhausted, the two men held each other’s gazes – green meeting blue – as they relish the warmth of their spoken words.

“You said you love me, _twice_.”

“Yeah, because I really do, Benny," Dean said a little too honest. Amused by Benny’s reaction, Dean couldn’t help but smile widely with Benny, whose cheeks were red with bashfulness. “What?” He asked when he saw Benny opened his mouth and closed it again.

“Just happy that’s all.”

 _Ditto_.

And just like that, Dean knew that there’s nothing to worry about. And if every story was a highway, a few bumps on the road should be expected; only those bumps in their story were different incidents of almost losing Benny. It’s funny, they’re both old but this was just their first milestone as a couple, hell, they’re only getting started and the biggest problem has yet to come. Who cares how big the problem would be? As long as they got each other’s back, they could face anything.

Behind him, the door opened and the last thing he wanted now was Sam witnessing him and Benny having a moment, but damn it, his body was yearning for a hot cup of coffee, or lukewarm coffee after his little brother took his time to buy them.

Not wanting to see Samsquach’s teasing smile for being too close to Benny, Dean didn’t greet Sam for being late and chose to comb Benny’s hair instead to make him look presentable. As Sam walked towards their direction, Dean watched how Benny’s brows creased in confusion at something.  Then, Dean noticed that Benny was not looking at him, he’s looking at Sam, pupils dilated and his skin lost its color as if he’d seen a ghost.

“So,” The smooth, husky voice behind him said. Its familiarity stilled him from moving, not because it’s _not Sam_. “How do you boys want to die?”

_How?_

The door’s soft click being opened again pierced the silence caused by the man’s presence and followed by the combination of Sam’s shuddering breath and sound of coffee spilling after hitting the tiled floor.

“Dad?” Sam choked out in disbelief.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yep, that is how I planned to end this.  
> I know there are things that needed to be explained,  
> But this first part is meant to be just Dean and Benny's story (on how Dean's view towards prisoners change.)  
> So that's why there will be a second part.
> 
> The second part "Closure" (title still not final, though) will be about on how Dean's view towards law enforcers change.  
> And it'll be also about Dean and Benny's closure to their past.
> 
> \---
> 
> Though stressful, I had a great time writing this.  
> I've never imagined fics are time consuming and needed motivation to finish,  
> So to everyone who writes fics longer than this, kudos to you all. :)
> 
> And thank you very much for reading. :) :)


	19. FanArt




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